Dec 31, 2014

Anti-Black (wo)men


Black men and women have always been at odds, but social media has brought the discord to the forefront. You can be on Twitter and see disparaging comments about black men from black women and vice versa. Truthfully, it doesn't make sense because when it comes down to it, black men and women are in the same boat. Black women have issues just like black men, so it's stupid for both sides to shade each other. Instead of warring with each other, black men and women need to be trying to come together to battle the ills in the black community. I used to be in a lot of Relationship Talk groups on, and they started off with real talk, then degenerated into anti-black (wo)men rhetoric. I had to get out of those groups because I felt myself getting caught up in that mess, and I can't be around foolishness of any kind. I was friends with a certain Facebooker (she's not worthy of mentioning) who although has some good discussions that I've took part in, recently the last few posts have been about how black men & women are no good; some black women are looking for a man who makes $150K a year with a nice car, 6-pack, etc. The men were no better because they were feeding into the nonsense by saying all black women are good for is booty and their cooking prowess (or lack thereof). My thing is both sides look like clowns when they disparage each other on social media.
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Dec 30, 2014

Inspiration

Here's a collection of inspiring tweets to encourage someone. I may not know who needs encouragement, but I'm confident these tweets will inspire readers to keep pushing.



















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Dec 29, 2014

Gratitude & Patience


Two things define you: Your patience when you have nothing and gratitude when you have everything. I'm a big believer in this statement because it holds a lot of weight. It's easy to be thankful when everything's sweet, and things are going your way. You're shining on your job, business is prospering, debt free, etc. By all accounts, you're on point and with good reason. You've worked hard to get where you're at & given what you've gone through, you're not ashamed to testify where you've come from. You're very humble because you know what you've gone through to get where you are, and you never feel a need to brag about how many homes & cars you have. You meet people who are less fortunate and you're compelled to bless them in any way you see fit. That's all part of being grateful for having everything because as soon as you get blessed, you try and bless others.
What do you do when you have next to nothing and you're busting your butt to make it to the top, but it seems like every door is slammed shut? You're tired of struggling, and you want more in life but it's not the right time. You have two choices: 1.You can keep fighting for that dream, and move heaven & eart to make it happen or 2. You can give up, and never see that dream manifest. Many people go with #2 because they're so weary from fighting that they feel that goal is not meant for them to achieve, so they quit. However, there's that select few who choose to make it happen by any means necessary; even if that means trimming the fat from their lives (removing dead weight in the form of naysayers). They've got laser-like focus that nothing will stop them from getting what they desire in life. As stated in the tweet, you're defined by two things, which one will define YOU?
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Dec 26, 2014

Words Of Wisdom

Here's a collection of inspirational tweets:




















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Dec 25, 2014

Oh Hi, I Only Exist When You Need Something


People are funny. Not in a kee kee ha ha kind of funny, but the shaking your head, are you serious kind of way. When you forget about someone, you completely write them off, or so you should. Forgetting about someone involves NOT asking them for any favors because you forgot about them. Let me give a couple of examples:

1. You and a close friend have a falling out and part on bad terms. Months or years later, your friend loses their job and needs you as a reference. You remember how they did you, so you tell them no. Your rationale for telling them no is that they cut you off, and now they need something from you.
2. Growing up, your parents mistreated you throughout your life and surprisingly, you didn't let it bother you. It was your parents who treated you like you weren't wanted. Outsiders treated you better than your own parents. You took that pain and turned it into motivation to better yourself. Put yourself through undergraduate and graduate school and landed a great job, debt free. You're successful by society's standards. Years later, your parents fall deathly ill and the rest of the family doesn't bother to visit them. The family gets in your ear about how you shouldn't visit them because they tell you "remember how they treated you back in the day, now they expect you to be there for them" You don't go because you know it's gonna be more of the same nonsense. You made a choice to cut toxic people out of your life and you're better for it.

If you're going to forget someone, forget them completely. Don't forget about someone, then go back to them for what you may need in the future. That's foolish, and makes you look crazy.
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Dec 24, 2014

Fighting Temptation


What seems simple to most people is difficult for others for some reason. If you're in a relationship with someone, be exclusive to them. Having a mistress/side man is not a good look for you or the other person because you're leading them on. Side pieces and mistresses are exactly why many people are hesitant to enter committed relationships because having someone on the side signals greed. You're not satisfied with one good (wo)man because you think your side piece may give you what your spouse is lacking, so in your mind you get the best of both worlds by getting 2 for 1. The downside is having to juggle spending time with your main spouse and your extra. When it comes to relationships, men & women are greedy. It's not enough to be faithful to one (wo)man, folks got to be married and cheat on the side. If you know you're not faithful, don't waste your time and someone else's double dipping. That's how folks end up on Cheaters or First 48.
In today's world & with today's generation, with so many temptations & women who don't mind being mistresses & men with the "Wife & a GF on the side" mentality, who would want to be married to anyone these days? Marriage is a joke to some people because nobody takes it seriously; so I can't blame anyone when they say they'd rather not make that commitment. When someone decides to use wisdom NOT to get married, here come comments like "you're scared of committment, something is wrong with you, etc." If committment means having to question your partner's faithfulness, I want no part of that. The marriage community can have that For Better Or Worse mindset. Myself, and other likeminded folks can swerve on all that drama (swerve means to sidestep, avoid pitfalls, etc.). Life is too short to worry about someone stepping out on you. It's better to be single and have no worries, then get married to someone and you have to question their loyalty.
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Dec 23, 2014

Men That Gossip


Once upon a time, men would tell you directly what's up. Good or bad, a man told you to your face what he thought of you and kept it moving. Those times are long gone because you have men gossiping like women about other men. That's not the code because men don't concern themselves with what other men are doing. Men keep it moving; they tend to their own affairs. A man that's on his grind doesn't have time to gossip about others because that sidetracks him from his purpose. I've had dudes gossip about me, but I could care less because I'm not what they speak about, and two, I'm not defined by what others think or feel about me even if they mean well. I appreciate well-meaning people, and those are the ones I rock with. These salt-shaking, gossiping like women dudes I have no respect for, and they have the nerve to call themselves men. If gossiping like a woman is what manhood is about, then society is in trouble. Men need to tighten up & stop gossiping like females because it doesn't look good on them. Don't let a man have the woman every guy wants, because you'll have back-ups getting in her ear about how he ain't nothing, he (the other man) can treat her better than him, etc. Depending on her loyalty, she may or may not be receptive to the gossip. I have little to no respect for men who gossip like women. If you have something to say about a man, bring it directly to him.
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Dec 22, 2014

Looks Aren't Everything


I get it, looks matter to some people. I would be lying if I said looks weren't a factor in my desire of a woman. It's understood that women want security, and men want eye candy; we know this. The problem lies in people who place TOO high a value on looks that they overlook important traits like character, honesty, Godliness, common sense, etc. Unless you're genetically blessed, no one is born looking like Beyonce or Denzel. There's constructive surgery if you want to look like those stars, but they cost major money, and very few folks could afford the kind of reconstructive surgery needed to look attractive. If I met a woman who was a 4 in looks, but made up for it with a good heart/character, great cook, shapely and loved to please her man, that would make her more than beautiful in my eyes. The difference between me & other people is that I value cooperation over eye candy.
To me, her aesthetic appeal is icing on the cake, and we all know that icing is the best part of the cake. People who let bull come out of their mouth like "Those who say looks aren't everything are probably unattractive" are just showing how stupid they sound, and that comment just showed how unattractive they are. You can be fine like Beyonce, but if you esteem yourself above others because you're prettier than them, then YOU are the ugly one. I pity those who marry for looks because as we get older, we're not going to look like we did at 30 or 40 unless some folks have really good genetics, and that's only a small segment of the population who can look younger even though they may be up in age. You want honesty? Here It Is: Shallow people disgust me. You want someone to look like Beyonce or Idris Elba when you're not attractive in someone's eyes. I'm doing research to find out where they do that at.
Why do I pity people who marry for looks? Simple. Looks will fade over time, and what will people have to sustain them in marriage? Are you going to leave an otherwise good (wo)man because (s)he lost that 8-pack, gained weight or she has stretch marks from having children? Sadly, many people do. Those are folks that had no business getting married. Last I checked, the vows mention for better or worse, sickness & health, and so on. I look at a woman's inner beauty rather than her outer appearance. A woman may be considered average-looking by society's standards, but her character, heart, Godly nature, and positive disposition will make her far more beautiful to me.
 So while I understand that looks are a factor in someone's overall attractiveness, they shouldn't be the only factor. The best packages come how you least expect it.

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Dec 19, 2014

Know Your Role: By Ms. Trina BabyTee Rogers

Trina BabyTee Rogers
13 hrs · Edited
I had a rather eye-opening conversation with a young lady whom I met through a good male friend. He asked me to talk to her about her attitude towards men. (For those who know me, I gladly obliged.) She initiated the conversation with the typical anthem of "independent woman", "I don't need a man who can't understand how important I am and value my royal essence by doing what I tell him to do!" (Sigh) I asked her if she is in a relationship now. No? Has she been in a relationship recently? Yes, bad as usual. What was the cause of the breakup? Him. In what way? He couldn't give me what I needed, Which was: Support my needs. Support how? Pay for it. She then proceeded to tell me how she can finance her own lifestyle but a man is SUPPOSED to do it. I asked her what she had accomplished so far, bachelor's degree in accounting, own home, no kids, nice car. I asked her how hard she had to work for those things. She recalled her struggle to work to pay for school, being discriminated against before finally being approved for her home and no one in her family there for her. Listened intently hoping something would click for her but it didn't, so I had to do it for her. I told her I applaud her for her tenacity and determination to achieve those accolades but why would you not give the same effort to a deserving man to have a good relationship? (Silence) Anything worth having is worth working for. You gave so much of yourself to achieve those other things why wouldn't you give that much for man? He isn't the only one who needs to put forth an effort to make it work. What you have accomplished doesn't make you caring, loving, respectful, honest, trustworthy or beautiful inside or out. A college education can't teach you how to love a man. A house doesn't mean you know how to make it a home for a man. A nice car doesn't mean you know how to make a man feel like a man. What you think about yourself is important to you, but it doesn't mean everyone else feel the same way. I would believe you don't need a man if that wasn't the first thing out of your mouth. The attitude and demeanor you display makes you unattractive to men and if you don't change it, you will be alone and end up old and bitter later in life. At this point she became thoroughly upset with me and said I don't know her or nothing about her life. I told her I didn't need to and what I said is completely based off of the information she initially gave me. I concluded with I don't believe you would be this mad if the stuff I said wasn't true. The truth hurts and it's not too late to fix it. You can say you don't need a man, but from your frustration with what I said, you damn sure want one. Just remember, the next one can't be treated like the last one. You had a part in the break up too. Men want women who know their role and can play it well!
‪#‎LIGHTNINGRODSTRIKES‬ 
‪#‎LAIDITALLOUT‬
‪#‎WON'THOLDBACK‬
‪#‎EACHONETEACHONE‬
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Dec 18, 2014

Quick Marriage


 When I hear people say they know if someone's marriage material in 6-12 months, my "Liar" meter goes off immediately because for one thing, you cannot know that fast someone's marriage material. People sound crazy when they make that statement because 6-12 months is the introductory period, that's the time where couples are getting to know each other. You're learning their likes/dislikes, their personality, and their outlook on life. You mean to tell me that you can learn ALL of that information in such a short time? I didn't fall off the turnip truck, I know better. It takes a minimum of 2 years to get to know a person, then shortly after comes engagement, then marriage. After being together for 2 years, then you speed up engagement and marriage because those 2 years of being together, you've established a foundation. A solid foundation ensures future success in relationships. A Facebook friend left an interesting comment that read (I'm going to paraphrase): It's a spiritual thing. If you have a solid prayer life, God can give you confirmation of someone being right for you. That's a real statement because when God gives confirmation of something, you know it's right for you and you won't have to 2nd guess. No sorrow will be added, no strings attached, just straight up confirmation from the Lord. Once you have confirmation, you can move forward with no worries, because you know someone's right for you because you took time to pray, and use discernment. Then & only then, can you speed up the process of marriage.

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Dec 17, 2014

Taking Your (Wo)man For Granted


A man will not go hard for a woman who takes him for granted, just like a woman won't go hard for a man who takes her for granted. Why should spouses continue showing love to unappreciative mates? Sounds stupid if you ask me because here you are doing this & that to please your spouse, and they take you for granted. It's like they EXPECT you to bless them regularly. People do nice things because they want to, not out of obligation. Some (wo)men don't have to go out of their way for their spouse, but because of their love for him/her, they go as hard for them. I hate to see mates take each other for granted. It's the selfishness that turns me off from relationships as a whole. Honestly, I see why some people become selfish because they're tired of giving to unappreciative people. After being unappreciated for so long, two things happen: 1. You become selfish or 2. You limit your giving. If couples choose to continue doing for each other even if one is being selfish, that's their issue, but it won't be mine because I'm quick to say no, even if the request is reasonable. I don't mind doing for my lady, but she better appreciate it. Just as fast as I bless her, I can easily stop all that. Spouses need to learn how to appreciate each other, because at some point people get tired of being taken advantage of. Once someone reaches their breaking point, nothing you can say will change their mind.

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Dec 16, 2014

A Private Life Is A Great Life


 I don't know about anyone else, but I value my privacy. I've been a private person for as long as I can remember, and I intend on keeping that way. I don't like many people in my business, even if they mean well. Some things I prefer to deal with on my own (with the proper exception of Jesus), and move forward. I believe if you're too open with your affairs, you can have your information used against you. There are some people who are genuinely concerned about your well-being, and there are some who pretend to be concerned just so they can have something to gossip about. How do you tell the difference? It's simple. In general, you can confide in your true friends and know their mouths won't shoot off like a rocket. The gossipers slither in like snakes and fake concern just to get your guard down. Once your guard is down, you start confiding in this person. Next thing you know, your business is all over the city. The person who confided is at fault because (s)he didn't "read" this person like they should have. (S)he should've asked themselves: Is this person going to tell my business? Any doubt of a person's confidentiality should be met with a swift no. That's how you keep yourself from being hurt, by staying low key. I've mentioned this in previous blogs, and I'll say it once more: There is such a thing as being TOO open. When you're too open, you run the risk of being hurt due to sheep in wolves clothing. Not everyone has your best interests at heart.

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Dec 15, 2014

Peter Thomas to Cynthia: REALLY?


Cynthia lost all her heart. She was so gung-ho about cutting Nene off, but she wasn't about that. Nene and Cynthia had a conversation on last night's Atlanta Housewives about their friendship, and Cynthia made the decision to cut Nene off because NeNe called Peter a b****. Cynthia was telling Peter how upset she was that Nene called her husband out of his name, how she was going to give Nene a piece of her mind, and so on. When the time came for Cynthia to confront Nene, Cynthia got that Scooby Doo like she didn't know what's going on. Cynthia was the same woman talking this & that about how Nene's a bad friend, but she threw all her heart out the window when she patched things up with Nene. They have a lot of history together, so in some strange way I can understand why both were hesitant to end their friendship. When you've been friends with someone for so long, you can't just terminate the friendship with the quickness. 
Peter went in on his woman, and with good reason. Cynthia does overlook a lot of Nene's nonsense. I don't know if Cynthia is scared of Nene because of Nene's brash, outspoken personality or what, but Cynthia does need to hold Nene accountable for getting out of order. The irony is that Cynthia went in on Porsha for being tardy, and I mean WENT IN. Porsha has said foul things about Cynthia, and Cynthia had no problem checking Porsha, so why couldn't she check Nene? Nene wouldn't tolerate Cynthia coming at her crazy like that. I can't be mad at Peter because he had a point in what he said. It's easy to say you're going to do this & that, but when it's time to put action behind your words, most people are not about what they speak on. You can talk about cutting someone off, but when the opportunity presents itself, are you going to do it?
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Dec 12, 2014

Freedom Of Religion? Yeah, Right.


Freedom Of Religion is defined as the freedom to practice one's religion through observation of religious holidays, participation in religious events, etc. If America prides itself on Freedom of Religion, then why do people get offended when Christians exercise their faith? Last time I checked, Freedom Of Religion extended to Christianity so people have no reason to get offended. Hindus, Muslims, and people of other faiths & religions can practice their religion free & clear, but let Christians celebrate Jesus, and it's a problem. It's stupid because if you come to America, you know what you're getting into. What's good for one, should be good for all. For some reason, Christianity has a bulls-eye. Christians can't mention "Jesus" without someone being slighted, yet homosexuals can push their agenda on every sector of society. Bills are being passed forcing schools to teach children about homosexuality.
I'm going to be 100 with what I'm about to say, and I don't care who's slighted. If Hindus, Muslims, and people of other religions can freely practice their religion, Christians should be able to do the same. Who cares if someone's slighted at the name of Jesus? Really, it's time out for Christians cowering at mentioning the name of Jesus. These are the same Christians that are quick to be crude & disrespectful, gossip; basically act no different than the world. America was founded on Christian values, but you'd never know it today because God has been forced out of American culture. Prayer has been taken out of schools, the 10 Commandments can't be publicly displayed, instead of saying Merry Christmas, people say Happy Holidays; and the list goes on. Considering where God has brought me from, I'm going to say Jesus every chance I get, and if someone gets slighted, who gonna check me? Matthew 10:32 MSG tells it like it is: Stand up for me against world opinion, and I'll stand up for you before My Father. If you turn tail and run, do you think I'll cover for you? 
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Dec 11, 2014

Character Over Shape


I know most men look at a woman's looks when getting to know her. Is she cute or average looking? Nothing wrong with that because as much as we don't want to admit it, looks do play a role in someone's attraction to a (wo)man. Personally, I don't place high value on a woman's looks because unlike most men, I look deep within. A woman can be gorgeous, but if her attitude reeks, then that makes her ugly in my eyes. A gorgeous woman is appealing physically, spiritually, and mentally. She's respected by her loved ones, and acquaintances. Given her reputation, if you asked 5 of her closest friends about her character, you would be listening all day because they would rattle off stories of how she has encouraged them in a time of need. Bel Biv Devoe made a song in the 80's called Poison. The concept of that song is you can never trust a shapely woman. She looks good, but looks can be deceiving. 
It's hard for me to be empathetic towards men who get jammed up with the wrong woman. Those men focus more on a woman's curves than what's in her heart. How is her character? How does she treat her loved ones in her life? Does she have common sense? Some men are scared to ask their prospective woman the hard questions because they're so worried about what her mouth does, instead of what her heart does. 
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Dec 10, 2014

Close Proximity


Anyone who knows me knows I'm a big fan of convenience. There's nothing like having what you want & need in close proximity. You won't have to go far because what you need and want is right there. For example, if you have a job then it would make sense to live close to where you work. I'll never understand folks who live on one side of town, and work on the other; that's crazy because your weekly commute time can easily exceed 45 minutes to an hour, especially in major cities and peak traffic. I cannot see living far from where I work because that means daily commutes which will eat up gas to and from work. Taking into consideration that after work, you want to go to Happy Hour at your local club, and unless your club of choice is nearby, that's an extra 15-20 minutes depending on traffic. It's something about working close to where you shop, bank, eat, live, etc that does it for me.
There's a show on HDTV that chronicles young professionals looking for residences close to their jobs. Looking at the prices, I assume these young professionals have good paying jobs because anyone familiar with the real estate market can tell you that the closer you live to shopping, work, nightlife, gym, restaurants, and other attractions, you're going to fork out some coins for convenience. You're getting what you pay for, so if you want convenience, you'll pay top dollar for it. By close proximity, I mean living no more than 5 minutes from your job, bank, restaurants, nightlife, gym, church, recreation and attractions/Points Of Interest. You can live 10 minutes from those things, but the ideal for living in close proximity is 5 minutes. The larger the city, the more opportunities abound for living in close proximity to employment and attractions based on that city's infrastructure.
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Dec 9, 2014

Happy King=Flourishing Kingdom


 A lot of folks like to say Happy Wife=Happy Life, or If Mama Isn't Happy, Nobody's Happy. Let me flip the script by saying When The KING is happy, the kingdom flourishes. The man is the head of the house, and as the head he's responsible for directing his family. At times, he must make tough decisions the family won't agree with, and that's ok. As long as his decisions benefit the family, they'll come around eventually. People need to understand the man has a major responsibility as the CEO of the family. He can't think about himself, he has to think about his wife and children before he makes every decision. A responsible leader will solicit input from their subordinates, weigh all options and then move forward. A king has to do what's best for the kingdom, and be strong enough to stand firm even if his subordinates won't agree with his decision. Not all the time are people going to agree with the king, but that's the price a king must be ready to pay. For everybody who co-signs the adage of Happy Wife, Happy Life, If Mom Isn't Happy, Nobody's Happy or any other statement, remember one thing: The King sets the tone for the entire kingdom, and unless he has a capable queen, the kingdom will not flourish like it should. If the kingdom isn't flourishing, what does that signal for the inhabitants? It can't be anything good, I can tell you that right now. Strong kings make kingdoms flourish.
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Dec 8, 2014

No Filter


I can't stand this stupid term. Everybody and their mama is saying "No Filter". Having No Filter is nothing to be proud of because some stuff you say can cause you to look stupid, so maybe people should consider having a filter. When people say No Filter, they have no discretion about what comes out of their mouth or what they do. They don't care what others think or feel, they'll lay it out there with no hesitation. Those people are attention seekers because they're trying to get notoriety by their statements. I'm going to be real, and I don't care who's slighted, I will judge any & everyone who uses this term. I'm shaking my head at them in my mind because if they only knew how dumb they sound, they would probably consider having a "filter". That's the issue with society as a whole, people have gotten comfortable with letting their mouth shoot off like a rocket. It's better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than open your mouth and remove all doubt. I know the First Amendment guarantees free speech, but in a way there's no such thing as free speech, because anything you say can and will be used against you. There's a thing called libel and slander; you can be sued for both offenses and rightfully so. You can't just say whatever you want and not expect repercussions. You tell me, is having no filter something to be proud of? I'll wait.
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Dec 5, 2014

I Want To Be Like You


Today's message is about trying to be like someone else. From an early age, most of us are taught socialization skills. Socialization skills are taught so kids can learn how to relate to others, which I can agree with to an extent, but I have a problem with trying to fit in to the point where you become a cookie-cutter version of someone else. If someone has a Maserati, you go out and get one without realizing the other person probably can afford one. If you see someone dressed to impress, you upgrade your wardrobe to compete with them, and so on. Honestly, it's a bunch of nonsense trying to do what someone else does to make yourself look cool. I would expect this from children & teens because they don't know any better for the most part. Peer acceptance is critical for children & teens because they want to be liked to the point where they end up doing detrimental things.
If a child sees his friends looking crazy, that child tries to emulate their friends because they don't want to be an outcast. If (s)he doesn't go along with their friends, (s)he risks being outed from the group, and their name is dragged through the mud. What do they do? They go along because they value peer acceptance over individuality. There are some children & teens who value their individuality to where they enjoy standing out. They could care less about peer acceptance because those same people they're trying to be like, could care less about them. It's nothing for some people to stand out because in their mind, they're staying true to themselves. Those are the people I respect because they don't need acceptance from the masses. As long as their loved ones value them, that's all the acceptance they need. For me, I'm not trying to be like anyone else. I may be inspired by others, but I'm not going out of my way to emulate them because I wouldn't feel right.
In conclusion, stop trying to fit in when you were born to stand out.
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Dec 4, 2014

God's In Control: On My Terms


The general consensus among the Christian community is that God's in control, regardless of the circumstances. When things work in our favor, God's in control. When things don't work our way, God's in control, but he has his own reasons for things not working out in your favor. All you can do is keep your faith and prayer life strong, and trust God. That's the hardest thing for anyone to do is trust God, even if we think we can figure things out.You know what: People believe God's in control, as long as God did what they asked him to. The minute God does something higher than us, we want to blame God or try and fix it ourselves. Many Christians don't know how to say "You know what Lord, I give this to you. I can't fix this situation, and I'm not going to try. Your ways are higher than mine." It baffles me that people want God to be in control on their terms.
Why do folks want God to be in control on their terms? Because people want to control God. They want to be able to dictate how God plans their life. If God has them go one way, and (s)he goes the other, they want God to co-sign. If God co-signs, then it means that God is in control. If God was in control on people's terms, God would be nothing more than a puppet; you pull its strings and it moves however you desire. What people fail to realize is that God Is Sovereign, meaning that his ways and thoughts are higher than ours. It's easy to say God's In Control, as long as God's answering every prayer. Are these same people going to believe that God's in control based on rampant injustice in this country? Believe it or not, God's in control even if we may not understad what, why, when, or how.
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Dec 3, 2014

Read vs. "Read"


 There is a difference between Read and "Read". Reading is studying material from a textbook or other source in order to obtain knowledge and understanding. "Reading" is an attack on one's credibility, and it also means to tell someone about themselves. My problem with this "reading" phenomenon is that everybody claims to be an expert at "reading" folks. It seems like everyone is quick to tell someone about themselves, but they forget one thing: The same people claiming to "read" folks are also being read themselves. No one is above being read. It's almost like pointing fingers: There's always 3 fingers pointing right back at you, so why do it? There will be times where you need to tell people about themselves, but make sure you're clear before you try to read someone. There's nothing worse than reading someone with your own skeletons. For example, the Atlanta Housewives. You have a group of outspoken, strong black women who are quick to "read" someone. Being that Nene, Phaedra, Cynthia, Kenya and Kandi have been around each other for a while, they know each other very well. They've gotten into it with each other, and each cast member has told things in confidence that were later used against them. That's why you can't tell people your business because as the adage goes in criminal justice: Anything you say, can & will be used against you. Here's an idea: While people are so busy trying to read others, perhaps they should READ themselves. The world will be a better place for it.
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Dec 1, 2014

Low Key

Living low key keeps you out of so much drama because no one can tie your name to any mess. "Richard knows what happened, he was there." Unless it involves my loved ones, I live as low key as possible because not only does it benefit me, but my loved ones as well. My loved ones do not partake in my issue(s) unless I request their assistance, but even then I can take care of most things on my own. I've been following the drama on Atlanta Housewives for a while, and the term "low key" comes to mind. The ladies fake & front like they're so close, when we all know that's a lie. For a group of women to be so close, they're constantly at each other's throats. Then again, it's said that many women can't get along with each other, so I'm not surprised. If a person's low key, they don't have to worry about this nonsense because they can sit back and observe. If someone's about drama,  swerve on them! There's one problem with being low-key, some people will mistake that as being stuck-up, when that's not the case. I like to think most people have a low tolerance for drama, and act accordingly. If you don't like something, why place yourself in that environment? Makes no sense at all. If living low key makes one seem arrogant, that's fine. Wear that with pride because that means you're doing something right. It's better to live low key and drama free, than be social and get jammed up.
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Nov 28, 2014

Bye!


Today's blog message is about being strong enough to lose someone. Most couples get together with the best intentions and they make plans to spend their lives together. They're vibing very well, but as the relationship progresses, something happens to damage the relationship to the point of no return. One party wants the relationship to work, whereas the other could care less. The committed person pleads with their (wo)man to help them make the relationship work. The heartless person shows through their actions that they don't want to be with him/her. What's a person to do when they're the only one who wants the relationship to work? My answer: LET THEM GO! You can't make someone stay with you if they don't want to. The more you force someone to stay with you, the more agitated they become. All that's going to do is drain you and them. If someone wants to exit your life, show them the exit. By showing them the exit, you're freeing yourself for the one who will appreciate you the way you deserve. Going further, the unappreciative person is doing you a favor by leaving your life, because that's less drama for you to deal with. The older someone gets, the lower their tolerance for nonsense. I'll never understand why some people spend so much time trying to keep a person who doesn't want to be kept. LET THEM GO! That's what happens when you're desperate for any (wo)man who shows you interest, you fight so hard to keep what doesn't want to be kept. Exit Stage Left. 

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Nov 26, 2014

Ferguson: The Aftermath

When Darren Wilson was acquitted of Michael Brown's murder, Michael Brown's family was irate, and with good reason. A few days, Michael Brown's stepfather shouted "Burn This *&%$# Down" on national media. He made himself look crazy because you don't go on national media screaming burn down a community. Not only are people probably side eyeing Brown's stepfather, but authorities are probably going to indict him for inciting a riot. There's some things you don't do, let alone say on national TV. Make it so bad, Michael Brown's parents pleaded with the protesters for peace, and the protesters disregarded their wishes. These clowns decide to tear up their community, and for what? All that's doing is proving the stereotypes that already exist: Blacks can't peacefully protest without showing their behinds. Now, I understand there are times where action must be taken, and I agree. Look at Malcolm X, he fought for equality by any means necessary and sometimes that included violence. You can't do that today, because law enforcement is looking for any reason to cuff you. Let's think a little further: The protesters looted and burned down their community, now what? Business owners lose their livelihood, and the employees are out of jobs. Ferguson residents start complaining about the lack of investment in their community, but they didn't think about that while they were showing their behinds, burning down business, and causing all kinds of havoc. What broke my heart is a lady who had her own cake shop and looters torched her business. All I could do was shake my head, and I pray she's able to recover and come back stronger than ever.
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Nov 25, 2014

No Indictment For Officer Darren Wilson

No one should be surprised that Officer Darren Wilson wasn't indicted for Michael Brown's murder, I wasn't. I saw it coming from a mile away. It's been open season on unarmed black men for a while, and it's only going to get worse. It's blacks who have declared open season on each other with the way some of them shoot each other daily. Black on black murders are the leading cause of death in the black community, and sadly that may not change. When you don't value your own life, you can't expect others to. When George Zimmerman killed Trayvon Martin, blacks protested for a month or so, then went back to life as usual. The same is going to happen with this Michael Brown situation: Protests for a few weeks (or a few months at the most), followed by rioting (which has already started up), and then it's back to normal. A lot of people are saying the system failed blacks, but like a W.E.B. Du Bois quote reads: A system can't fail those it wasn't designed to protect.
I've been following the Michael Brown saga since Day 1, and looking at the WEB Du Bois quote, I'd say he was spot on. Black people have the right to demand justice, but if they don't get it, remember the quote from WEB Du Bois. I'm not saying lay down for injustice, because there's far too much of that going on and frankly, I'm tired of it. The sad thing about this rioting going on in Ferguson is that blacks played right into their hands. Law enforcement KNEW blacks were going to show their behinds so that's why they were ready. All over social media, and YouTube you can see live footage of rioting in Ferguson. Police being shot at, businesses looted, and even a female CNN reporter was hit in the head with a rock. I'm all for outrage, but people need to be smart about it. If you want to make a change, go for where it hurts: $$$. People have no choice but to feel you if you're attacking their pockets. Money makes the world go around, and if the money is affected, key people are going to take notice and start paying attention to what's going on.
In conclusion, as outraged as protesters are (and they have a right to be), remember one thing: True justice comes from God. Officer Darren Wilson is already in prison because no matter where he goes, or what he does, he will never be able to live peacefully. To me, that's far worse than being behind bars. Everywhere he goes, people are going to talk about him. "That's the guy who shot Michael Brown in Ferguson." I'm not condoning threats on Officer Wilson or his family's lives, but there are some people that aren't going to lay down.
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Nov 24, 2014

Mind Your Business


Anytime someone is meddling in someone's affairs, if they do it enough then that person will tell them to mind their business. None of us is above getting some business of our own, but that's what I plan on doing. Why worry about someone's business when YOU have your own affairs to deal with? That doesn't make sense because the more time you spend in someone else's business, the less time you have to take care of yours. From time to time, a quote circles around Facebook that reads: There are 365 days a year. If you spend 187 days minding your business, and the other 187 focusing on yourself, you won't have time to worry about what someone else is doing. Personally, I could care less how others live their lives because that's not my concern. I've got issues of my own to deal with that the last thing on my mind is compounding interest, meaning I add someone's issues onto my own. If someone's where I want to be, I will read up on them & ask questions if need be. Many people don't mind someone being in their business, if it's for the right reasons. If you're meddling just because you have too much time on your hands, then that's not a good look, and you run the risk of being told. If I have a choice between minding my business and someone else's, I'm going to pick my business all the time because as stated before, I'm trying to get to where I want to be in life, and I can't get sidetracked by meddling in other people's nonsense.

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Nov 21, 2014

Positive Friday


Something for the ladies:





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Nov 20, 2014

Bill Cosby Scandal


Unless you've been under a rock, you've heard of Bill Cosby. He had his own animated cartoon show called Fat Albert & The Cosby Kids that did pretty well, then the show ran its course. Then Bill moved onto his own sitcom called The Cosby Show, which was one of the longest-running sitcoms in television history. The Cosby Show still comes on in syndication, and you can catch all the syndicated shows if you have On Demand from your cable provider. Anyway, Bill has been hit with ANOTHER accusation from another woman of being raped. I hope Bill didn't rape any of those women, but you can't put anything past anyone today. Bill Cosby is a stand-up guy, so I'm pretty sure he didn't rape those women, and those women are just looking for a come-up at his expense. Of all Bill Cosby's years in show business, he's stayed out of drama for the most part, so why all of a sudden are these supposed scandals coming to light?
As stated before, some women are looking for a come-up at the celebrity's expense. Bill Cosby isn't the only celebrity to be a victim of sex scandals, other celebrities have caught it too. What bothers me about these women's accusations is that they make it hard for real rape victims to get justice. Many women don't come forward with being raped, because they feel no one will believe them. In a way, I can't blame them because there are some women who lie about being raped, just to make a man's life hell. Some women can be very nasty, and the best way to get a man jammed up is scream rape, and he's scarred. If you don't believe me, google false rape reports. False rape allegations occur at the rate of 2%, but that 2% can cast a negative light on the other 98% because you don't know who's telling the truth. Raven-Symone, who got her start on The Cosby Show cleared her name. In short, she stood up for Bill when she said: "I was pretty much a baby when I was on The Cosby Show, so Bill would never do that."
Celebrities need to watch their back, because there are some women who are looking for a come-up, and they don't care at whose expense. Most instances involve men, because men are suckers for shapely, attractive women. 

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Nov 18, 2014

Prospering From Ignorance


This tweet caught my eye because it's on target. If someone's ignorant, all you have to do is cater to their ignorance and you can go higher than you ever dreamed. I'm not talking about ignorance as in not knowing, I mean general ignorance. You know better, but you choose not to do better; that's what I mean by ignorance. Watching RHOA (Real Housewives Of Atlanta) and Love & Hip Hop has me thoroughly convinced of that. Everywhere you turn, someone has a so-called "reality show". Most of these reality shows are nothing more than regulars trying to get their break in the entertainment industry. I'm not knocking anyone's dream, I'm proud of those who are stepping out on faith and trying to make it in the business. If you're going to prosper, prosper for the right reasons. Prosper because of your ability, not your ratchet mentality. It seems like it's easier to be ratchet and make $$$, than to have talent and make it the right way.
Why would you need talent to be ratchet? You don't. All you have to do is act like a fool, and networks will come beating down your door to give you your own reality show. If it's that easy to prosper from people's ignorance, maybe I need to jump on that cash cow. Then again, I couldn't sleep good knowing I'm profiting off someone's ignorance; that's not me, and it never will be. I've been raised right, so I care more about my good name than profiting off someone's ignorance. As I look around, all I can do is shake my head. It's not so much people profitting off ignorance, it's the ignorant who don't realize they're being used for financial gain. A little research and asking the right questions is all it takes to prevent yourself from being taken. I guess I shouldn't be too upset, because the way society is rigged, it's not difficult to prosper off someone's ignorance. If you can twerk, be ratchet and act loud, you're an instant star.


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Nov 17, 2014

When I Shine, You Shine


@iDespiseJobz: Keep close the friends who were broke right alongside you, then take them with you on the come 👆 #EatWithWhoYouStarvedWith 💯📝 #fb

The above tweet came from Norm J. Blunt, a Facebook friend as well as someone I follow on Twitter.  My Twitter and Facebook pages are nothing but positivity, because there's too much ratchetness on social media, and I won't cloud my mind with that nonsense. Anyway, people have their nerve wanting to eat at your table when they weren't starving with you. Where do they do that at? It's that entitlement mentality of some people that irks me, and is exactly why I'm cautious of who I let in. Why eat off someone's plate when you can get your own food? What I mean by that is that there's more than enough success to go around, so instead of riding someone's coattails, get yours for yourself. Success differs for everyone, so what one person considers successful, may not be what another considers successful and that's ok. If I'm building a dynasty & it finally blows up, I'm remembering those who helped me build. THEY are the ones that will eat at my table, not the leeches. There aren't too many people you can call a friend because you don't know their agenda. Even your closest friend(s) have an agenda, they just haven't told you about it because they don't want you to think they're your friend just because you're doing well for yourself. In closing, only your loved ones should be able to share in your blessing because they've stood by you all the way. Your loved ones knew you before you blew up, and it's foul to forget about those who supported you from Day 1. I hate to see people become rich & famous and then that fame & fortune changes them. They forget about those who encouraged them to keep hustling when they wanted to quit.
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Nov 14, 2014

Positive Friday

It's been a while since I did Positive Friday, but I'm back.
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Nov 13, 2014

Strawberry Letter | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS


Today's blog message is Ready For Committment. We have a 30-year old woman who seems to have a good head on her shoulders. She meets a man who she thinks the world of, but there's one problem: He's not ready for a relationship. Either he's turned off by her being a single mother, or he may not be THAT into her. Usually, a man will let a woman know early on how into her he is by several factors: Frequency of communication, his eagerness in getting to know her, they schedule outings together, etc. If a man is into a woman, he will move heaven & earth to show it. He's not about playing games because he knows she's got other potential suitors on stand-by. She may feel that he's the one, but does he feel the same way? From the lack of reciprocation he's giving her, it's safe to say he's not into her as much as she's into him. The question remains is does she want to waste her time trying to force what may not be meant to happen?
When I read these Strawberry Letters, I always look for answers to the question. 9 times out of 10, the letter writer seeking advice has already answered their own question(s). This letter is no different because she states "I don't want to feel like I'm wasting my time." There you have it, she already answered her question. Any further anguish that happens from this moment forward is her fault, because she can either give him an ultimatum or continue raising her children. Right now, her main focus should be on raising her children. Age has a lot to do with this letter as well, because sometimes, younger men like to play games with women. They teeter back & forth with their feelings on a woman. One minute he wants her, and the next minute, he doesn't. An older man doesn't have time for that mess. He either wants her or doesn't, and he moves forward. I don't think he's ready for a relationship, so she might want to move onto the man who is. Time is too short for play play.

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Nov 12, 2014

Strawberry Letter | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS


This man and his girlfriend get into a fight, and she gets a black eye. Her mom isn't having that so she wants her daughter home with her, which is understandable. The daughter goes behind her mom's back and continues seeing the man who beat her. I will NEVER understand why some women allow themselves to be beaten like slaves by their husbands. It starts off with arguing, then the voices intensify, and before you know it, someone's getting in someone's faces. The shouting match continues where the (wo)man dares their spouse to hit them. Depending on how angry the spouse is, (s)he may(not) lay a hand on them. Personally, I'm not giving any woman the chance to hit me. I'll simply walk off and let her act stupid by herself. These men know the laws are slighted in favor of the woman, so why would any man willingly put himself in jeopardy? Makes no sense to me. The man has no right to be slighted at her mom for not wanting her to see him; He hit her for goodness sake.
The daughter must have low self-esteem to continue seeing the man who gave her a black eye. Her mom is trying to protect her from him, and she's hardheaded to go behind her mom's back, and see her. Do I agree with her mother threatening to disown her? No. No matter what your child(ren) do, you never disown them under any circumstances. Sometimes, you gotta give your child(ren) tough love, and as much as I hate to say this: The daughter may have to learn the hard way.
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Nov 11, 2014

Florida Politics

All Of Florida's past governors, and our current Governor Rick Scott is from South Florida. South Florida makes up the bulk of Florida's population (along with the Tampa Bay Area and Metro Orlando) so that's who voted him in. Because South Florida voted for Rick Scott, of course he's going to do more for them because they voted him in. Tallahassee decided to go with Charlie Crist, and he lost by 70,000 votes. Because Tallahassee doesn't like Rick Scott, you can bet that he's going to continue NOT doing anything for Tallahassee. The bulk of the jobs created are going where? Central & South Florida. The irony of what I said is that Tallahassee is Florida's capital, yet Tallahassee gets the short end of the stick economically. Maybe if Tallahassee supported Rick Scott, he would probably do more for Tallahassee, but as long as some people continually vote against Rick Scott, Rick Scott will continue doing more for Central & South Florida. I follow Florida politics and notice a trend: During Rick Scott's campaign trail, most of his stops have been in Central and South Florida. 
Tallahassee is lucky, if ever, to see him campaign here. In short, Tallahassee is like that kid who gets picked last to be on the team. If I'm Florida's Governor, and Tallahassee didn't help me get elected, why would I make moves to benefit Tallahassee? That doesn't make sense. The Governor is supposed to make moves that benefit the entire state, not just the portions that helped him get into office. At the same time, if a certain group helped you get into office, wouldn't common sense say that you cater to them moreso than others? Throughout this election season, Rick Scott has campaigned in Central and South Florida because that's where he knows his support is coming from. Yes, Tallahassee is Florida's capital and you'd think with us being the seat of state government, Tallahassee would get first dibs on economic development & prosperity, but that's not the truth. If anything, Tallahassee gets the leftovers. We're the last to see any sort of economic development because again, many Tallahassee folks didn't help Rick Scott get elected. 
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Nov 10, 2014

RHOA: For Better Or Worse

Last night's Season 7 premiere of Real Housewives Of Atlanta started off strong, so I know this season is going to be good. If you've followed the Apollo situation, you know he was facing 30 years for racketeering. The judge gave him 8 years, so I know he was glad for that. Still, that's 8 years of not seeing your children: Missing out on crucial milestones, the mother having to explain why Daddy isn't coming home for a while; no parent should have to go through that. Here's my beef: Phaedra, Apollo's wife didn't go to his trial with him. Yes, Apollo did wrong, but a wife still stands by her man. That was a time where Apollo needed his wife the most, and she wasn't there. Apollo went in on Phaedra and with good reason. Regardless of what your spouse did, you still have their back. You're going to be serving their sentence with them, so it behooves you to give as much support as possible. If Phaedra got caught up, and Apollo wasn't there, people would want his head.
Watching last night's episode taught me two things: 1. It's easy to say you'll have your (wo)man's back, but when it's time to go down, your loyalty is tested. 2. Phaedra is so worried about her image. Question: Was Phaedra concerned with her image when she married Apollo, who was a known criminal (according to some circles)? I'll wait. Last time I checked, she represented Bobby Brown during his legal issues, so she needs to stop putting on airs. I'm a rare breed of man because if my woman was caught up, I'd ride for her to the end. She's who I married, so I will honor the "For Better Or Worse" part of marriage. It's sad that most people have no loyalty. Oh wait, people are loyal when it benefits them. Then again, I do understand where Phaedra is coming from.
When Apollo made his bed, he had to know that he would have to lie in it at some point. You can do dirt for so long until it catches up with you. Apollo wasn't thinking about his family when he did that fraud, so he can't expect Phaedra to make his issues hers. She's got a career and children to think of, and it wouldn't be a good look for Apollo to drag Phaedra down with him. Somebody's got to raise those kids, so it might as well be her. When you've gotten to where Phaedra is, you're not gonna let anything or anyone mess up your good standing, and by right you shouldn't. A good name is hard to earn, but easy to mess up. In conclusion, I see where Apollo and Phaedra are coming from. Yes, you have your (wo)man's back, but as a man and the head of household, your decisions affect the rest of your family, so tread carefully with everything you do.
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Nov 7, 2014

Strawberry Letter | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS


Today's blog message is titled Hollering At The Boss. We have a 30-something woman who's involved with her boss. They work at the same company, but the catch is: The boss is married. I wonder how his wife would feel if she knew he was carrying on with one of his subordinates. Sadly, women having relations with their male bosses isn't anything new. My thing is, she could have any man she wanted, but she goes for a man in authority. I can't be mad because women are attracted to men in power, so maybe she linked up with him because he can help her move up. If that's the case, more power to her. If not already, I suggest she keeps her professional and personal life separate, because there's nothing worse than your company finding out you have a relationship with your superior. Make it so bad, he's married and he's this reckless? Shameful. He doesn't know who his wife knows at the company, and he's carrying on like the mess isn't wrong. 
He better cover his tracks and hope his wife doesn't find out, because he's going to be a homicide case on First 48. Women don't play that infidelity mess, especially if they've been faithful. Depending on how deep their relationship is, breaking up could be detrimental to her professional life. People can be very nasty when you don't want to be with them anymore, and it's worse when that person is your boss. Giving assignments with unreasonable deadlines, just trying to discredit you at every turn. Besides, most companies have strict policies against romantic involvement between superiors and subordinates. I don't see this ending well at all, because someone's going to slip up and that's when the mess will hit the fan. While she has the chance, she better cut the relationship loose because if not, she's going to find herself in a world of mess, largely from the boss's wife. Shakes head at how sorry some women can be; she can't get a man of her own so she has to go for her boss. Some people DO NOT respect their relationship.
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Nov 6, 2014

Strawberry Letter | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS


Scenarios like this are all too familiar. Best friend gets pregnant by her friend's man, they try and cover it up not knowing that women are investigative by nature. They can sense when something's wrong, and will go to great lengths to find the truth. There's a code that best friends are supposed to follow, and sleeping with one's man is a major violation. I see what people mean by saying that good friends are hard to find, and they are. The letter writer did right by sending her man to live with the cheating witch. Let the other woman deal with the headache, she doesn't need that nonsense in her life. Besides, by sending her man to live with the other woman, that's less drama she has to deal with because it's not like SHE (the letter writer) is going to be a baby mama. Get rid of all toxicity, and move on with a clean slate. Life is too short to deal with foolishness like this. This woman sees the writing on the wall, now it's on her what to do next. I think she should move forward and focus on living her life like it's golden. She doesn't have to deal with baby mama issues, and from her age, she has a lot to look forward to in the future. As for the man, well...he better stack his money as high as possible, because he's going to be taking care of that baby for the next 18 years. He could write another future Strawberry Letter about having baby mama issues, and want Steve's advice as to what he should do. Not much he'll be able to do except man up to what he did, and take care of that child.
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Nov 5, 2014

Strawberry Letter | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS


The title of today's Strawberry Letter is Doing What I Want, When I Want. This lady has been married 4 times & really wants THIS marriage to work, but her man is showing his behind. He told her straight up that it's ok if he converses with other women, and he does it in her face. I don't know if he's asking for a death wish or he's bold, but if a man is dogging his woman like this man is to her, he must not love her too much. Going further, he cares nothing about her feelings because if he did, he wouldn't be doing what he's doing. Here are the hints: She confronts him when he talks to other women, and he tells her he can lie if he wants to, let alone talk with other woman. He calls her insecure for feeling some kind of way. She has every right to feel some kind of way because she made a decision to marry his sorry butt, and he's going to play her like this. Why did she marry him anyway? Is it because she was so desperate for any man that showed her interest, that she didn't do her due diligence? I'm thinking that's it. It's better to be alone than in bad company. She's already got her bags packed, and ready to leave; I hope she follows through on leaving and never looks back. He disrespects her feelings, he's blatantly cheating on her to her face, and doesn't want to go to counseling. What more clues does she need that he doesn't care about her? I understand her trying to honor her vows before God, but God doesn't want his children abused & mistreated in the name of love. There comes a time where you have to just LEAVE, and don't look back. The longer she stays, the more hurt he's going to inflict on her. She doesn't need that.
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Tuesday Message: Walking Away From Toxic Relationships

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