Strength IS NOT...

Nojma Reflects

49 minutes ago

Sisters, your strength isn't getting your hand and elbow in the perfect 90 degree angle as you place it on your hip, constrict your neck and roll your eyes as venom spews from your mouth. Your strength isn't assisting in the emasculation and castration of the Black Man. Your strength isn't in challenging him to an "I can do anything you can do but better contest". Your strength isn't in breaking down a man that society attempts to break down every day. You will never find peace if you constantly promote chaos.
We say a man can't handle a strong woman. The above is NOT strength. The above is being Willie Lynch's mouthpiece. Let me tell you what a strong woman REALLY is.
A strong woman is a GODLY woman. A strong woman understands the blueprint of our slave masters, but REFUSES to build HIS world, and concentrates on building GOD'S KINGDOM. A Strong Woman recognizes that wombs of many generations have built efficient slaves, and if both the physical and mental wombs placed us in this condition, then both the mental and physical wombs will free us from this condition.
A strong woman shows support, encouragement, she nurtures, consoles, revives, rebuilds, and she also repairs. Again if this society attempts to break the Black Man down then we have to put him back together again. A strong woman is studious , she is a master scientist in her kitchen, she nurses her family back to health, she is the dean in her home as she is the first teacher, she understands that as hard as it is for her, it is even harder for HIM. A strong woman knows the power of words, so she chooses them carefully. A strong woman doesn't absolve the Black Man of his duty, but cultivates the God within him so that he can effectively perform his duty. A strong woman doesn't turn the hearts of her children away from their father, she positions their hearts towards him.
#RealStrength101

 

My View: TAKE THAT, TAKE THAT, TAKE THAT! If I haven't said it before, I'll say it again: I enjoy Sister Nojma's writing because it's positive and she's not afraid to check women on their belligerent behavior. Every time a man calls a woman out for her nonsense, it's taken as an attack. Most men admire strong women, but a truly STRONG woman has her own voice, but is submissive to her man if he's leading honorably. Some women think challenging their man on everything is strength, but it's not. A man battles enough when he steps outside his home, and to come home to have to do battle with his woman is TOO MUCH. A man's home is his castle, the one place where he should have peace and if his woman isn't providing that for him, she can & will be replaced. Just like women will tolerate their man's foolishness for so long until she replaces him, the same applies to women. Usually, men won't think twice about replacing a woman that's not up to snuff.



Badges Of Dishonor

Nojma Reflects

February 5

Here are a couple of titles that we as Black Women need to stop wearing like they are a badge of honor.

1. Baby Mama- Too many of us not only proudly wear this title, but we also STRIVE to be one! This seems to be the new occupation on the scene. We don’t want to be wives, we want to be "baby mama’s" so we can have what we think will be security in the form of a child support check. We are training our daughters to be prostitutes when we teach them the "pay to play" mentality.

2. Miss Independent- I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T, Do you know what that means? At the end of the day, as much as you say you are "independent" and you can do it everything by yourself, at the very core of your essence you know you don’t want to. If you are proudly claiming independence, then save your " I don't have a man woes" because a synonym for Independence is alone, and that is exactly where you will end up; ALONE!

3. Jump off-a jump off is a sex partner; nothing more nothing less. Is this all we are worth Sisters, simply fulfilling a DESIRE? Being a pleasure receptacle? Do you know how much mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical wear and tear that places on us as women? If we feel that all we have to offer a man is sex, then don’t expect anything BUT sex in return. A man VIEWS you in the same manner in which you SEE yourself.

4-. Wifey- Sisters in order for a man to wife you, He has to MARRY you! Anything else is a glorified girlfriend. If you are already performing "wifely duties" what's his incentive to marry you? He has none!

5. Bitch and the Baddest one at that!-I have covered this word several times. A bitch is a dog. I mean that's it. And as a bitch your only option IS a dog. So you become a dog groomer. You wash a dog. You feed a dog. You train a dog, then you complain about "the dog in your house" but if you call yourself a Bitch, then you have INVITED this "dog" in your house and in your space, then complain when you get dogged out.

So starting today, let’s retire these badges of "dishonor" when choosing to describe ourselves. Let’s be what we REALLY are: beautiful Black Queens. You’ll get much more respect being a Queen than you ever will being any of the above.

 

My View: Once again, Sister Nojma hits a grand slam. If a man is getting wife benefits, he's not going to marry his woman. Why would he? She's giving him the milk for free. This goes for both men & women because if a couple is shacking up, but checking in with each other like husband & wife, giving each other marriage benefits, etc; there's really no reason for them to be married. They can continue doing what they do. Of all the terms that need to be retired, #5 should be at the top of the list. It's funny that some women will get upset at a man for referring to her as a b**** but when a rapper says, "Pop that p**** for me, b****, she races to the dance floor" Or, she replaces the B word with a list of positive characteristics (Beautiful Intelligent Talented Charming and Hell Of A Woman or other ridiculous traits to replace the real meaning of the word). On occasion, I'll post the following statement: You're not a bad b***h, you're doing bad, b***h! The above statements are nothing more than glorified negativity.