Strawberry Letter: My wife and I have been married for several years, and we've been together since our teens. My wife is everything ANY man could want! Beautiful, smart, caring, ambitious. You name it, she's got it!!! Here's the proof: The day our 1st child turned six months old, I went to Iraq. While I was gone, she managed to raise our child alone, graduate HS early, work, AND go to college. She sent me care packages when I needed them most, AND I never missed any of my rare chances at a phone call!!! Even though she went through hell to graduate college, she was by my side from duty station to station. While she was in medical school, I got orders to another base. If we went, she would've had to quit school. I don't think so, so I got out of the military. She graduated a year later. I was blessed with a great paying job, so we moved back home. Soon after, she started her career. Now, we finally have a stable home. Like I said, everything ANY man could want. She's the woman of my dreams...but, she's not. I've prayed about it & did counseling, too. I'm not sure when, but I stopped being in love with her. Don't get me wrong, I'd give my life for her (as mad as I'd be about it). It's not fair to her that she's giving me everything, but I can't do the same. I want a divorce, but she doesn't deserve to have her heart broken either. What do I do?
My View: Let me get this straight; this man has a good woman who gives him everything, and he wants a divorce? I would expect this behavior from women, but a man pulling this? He should be ashamed of himself. Most men would kill for a woman like this. As I think about this, somewhere along the line he fell out of love with her. It's normal for couples to go through dry spells; they fall out of love with each other and then rekindle their flame. Before he divorces this woman, maybe he should try to remember when they first met. What attracted him to her? She's beautiful, smart, caring and ambitious. Those traits would make EVERY woman endearing to a man. Unlike a lot of (wo)men, I'm not going to assume he's gay because that's crazy. Just because a man has this uneasy feeling doesn't make him gay, so people need to cut that mess out. My heart goes out to this woman because I don't think he told her what's on his mind.
He mentioned being in the military, so that could be a reason why he's feeling this way. When you're in the military, you're gone for months or up to years at a time, so you lose valuable time with your (wo)man. The absence takes its toll on the relationship that the spouse becomes indifferent to their presence. While he was away, she's accomplished a lot in his absence and upon his return, it's like he doesn't recognize her anymore. She's been taking care of business in his absence, so she's gotten used to not having him around. Sometimes, people are in our lives to save us from ourselves, so I think he should pray about it before he makes a move. He's risking divorce in pursuit of something he's unsure of. Contrary to popular belief, life is not a gamble, it's a sure thing if you play your cards right. I have one question though: Could there be someone else?
He's looking for another opportunity elsewhere and wants complete freedom to pursue it. Otherwise, he has no reason to leave. He goes to great lengths to explain how she's a wonderful woman. A man doesn't leave a happy home unless he's looking at greener grass in the neighbor's yard that's distracting him from appreciating his own grass.
