Good Morning: I am a 24 year old wife and mother of two. I have been married a year, and I am already on edge and ready to get a divorce. Last year, after my husband and I got married I found some emails from some of my husband's "female friends" and his ex girlfriend where he told them the only reason he got married was because the military gave him more money. Needless to say I was pissed and was ready to separate, but after his begging, pleading and crying I decided that I would stay. The very next month I saw emails and text messages between him and his ex girlfriend where she was totally disrespecting me and he allowed her to do it. Again I went off but did not threaten to leave or anything I just snapped. He left on deployment for 6 months; about 2 months after he returned I went to the doctor and found out that I had contracted an STD. Of course he denied being with anyone while he was gone, and I know I had not been with anyone else. That was the first crack in our relationship. He then turned very mean and would randomly get upset with me and I had no idea why. Recently I just picked up his phone and saw that he and a female "friend" had been exchanging pictures of body parts that should not be shown. Even though he has never hit me physically, that hurt as if he punched me. I confronted him about it, and he made up every reason for why it was okay. I am really on edge and stuck between staying and going. I really don't want to be anybody's fool, but I do love my husband. What should I do?
My View: This is why I have little respect for marriage, because of situations like this. Doesn't anyone respect the sacred bond of marriage anymore? Goodness. Couples messing around on each other, then they have the nerve to come home to each other like the mess isn't wrong. If you're not going to be faithful to your spouse, you have no business getting married. I see why couples get married, for the financial & legal benefits. Monogamy is a lost art in today's world. People get together, and have others on the side. Look at what happened to this woman: She caught an STD because her husband was messing around with another woman. I truly feel bad for her, and her children. How can he be upset with her and HE was the one who cheated? Some of these men piss me off with their deflection. He's upset with his wife because HE cheated.
Once he begged, pleaded and cried, I knew she was going to take him back. Men know how to play on women's emotions, and that's what he did and she fell for the okie doke. He wasn't sorry, he was sorry he got caught. He cheated on her several times (sexting included), and she wants to stay? That's crazy. No wonder men continue to cheat, because they know their women will take them back. Of course he's going to deny being with anyone else; he doesn't want problems with his wife. She went off on him the first time, so he's not letting that happen again.. I'm not trying to be mean, but if she stays with him after everything he's put her through, she deserves everything she gets. Women need to tighten up and stop allowing these men to play them. If he cheats once, LEAVE. People do what you allow, and cheating is no different. Infidelity is grounds for divorce, and the Bible says so.
You can get married with the best intentions, and your partner will still cheat. This is why discernment is important: If you have an uneasy feeling about someone, it's for a reason. Something about them doesn't mesh with your spirit. If caution is thrown to the wind, you have no reason to catch feelings because (s)he knew something wasn't right, and (s)he went forward with the relationship. Infidelity should warrant immediate divorce because if cheating happens once, it will happen again. How much pain is one supposed to endure in marriage? Happiness should always trump loving someone through the rough times. He gave her an STD; that right there should tell her to exit stage left.
