Nojma Reflects
Friday
To all the women who say "I don't need a man to raise my children."
I say this: You needed a man to help MAKE the child right? So you need a man to help RAISE your child. I mean we have to get out what we think we don't "NEED", because like I stated we need each other to PROCREATE life, a sperm can't do anything without an egg and vice versa.
What message are you sending to your daughters if they hear their mother say she doesn't need a man to raise her children? So are you OK with your daughters being Baby Mama's? What message does that send to your son? If he grows up to be the type of man who abandons his seed, who gave him that initial thought? Ultimately, you are teaching your children regardless of the gender that a man is not a vital part of the family dynamic, which is not true.
Now if you feel that way because of a choice you made, and you are dealing with hurt and pain, then say that and we can work on healing. But don't be arrogant and say that you don't need a man to help raise your children when you needed him to make those children. What about what the children need? Don't their needs matter the MOST?
Why do some of us INSIST on wearing Single Motherhood like a badge of honor and pass this warped message to our daughters like it's their inheritance?
I saw a quote posted here on facebook that said the following: "Where there is a strong woman, there is a strong man or no man at all!"
Why is the "or no man at all" included? To promote this deluded image of strength. We are much stronger TOGETHER than we can ever be apart. If you think that being "strong" means that you can raise your child alone, then what you are really doing is exercising a major weakness in yourself. Let's redefine our definition of "strength" and build stronger families.
It never fails, some women scream about not needing a man to raise their children but who's the first one they call when the children are getting beside themselves? DAD. Who's the first one she calls when her kids need school clothes because she ran short on money for the month? DAD. Ok then, I rest my case. Men and women need each other. I'm aware that there are women who are doing it by themselves because of the father's lack of involvement (I salute all single mothers who through NO FAULT OF HER OWN are raising children solo). The body can't operate without a heart because the heart supplies the body with blood and oxygen so you can stay alive. Let the body tell the heart, "I don't need you" and see how that works out. Just like the body is stronger as a whole, men and women raising children together are stronger because if one is weak, the other is strong. The stronger one can be the extra set of eyes just in case something tries to sneak up on him.
