Dear Shirley and Steve, I have been with my husband for 10 years and married for 2 years. We have had some bumps in our relationship, just like any other normal relationship. I'm so confused and noticing little things about him. Just recently his grandmother passed, and I noticed his (first love) ex- girlfriend (whose name is still on tatted his chest) was there at the funeral. That wasn't the problem, I understand that she wanted to pay her respect to a woman that she knew, and show the family support during their time of needs. After the funeral, she went to his grandmother house along with his brother's ex. My husband wanted to go to his grandmother's home in the beginning, but quickly changed his mind. I received a call from my sister in law informing me that they were waiting on my husband. I notice weeks prior to his grandmother passing, he would wear a ring she gave him when they were dating. I would get mad and ask him why is he still wearing that ring, and he needs to get rid of it. Even during the funeral, he kept his left hand in his pocket (hiding his ring at least to me). I was angry at him for hiding the fact that he knew she was there, and that is the reason he changed his mind on going there so quickly. So many things are running through my head: Is he hiding his marriage from her? Does he still have feelings for her? Please help because I'm just lost for words, and it is bothering me. Thanks
My View: I think he still has feelings for his ex, because why would he continue wearing the ex's ring? That doesn't make sense. If you've broken it off with someone, you get rid of all mementos: Rings, tats, etc. Holding onto reminders of your ex signals there's still some feelings left. This ex is his first love, so that's enough to consider that maybe the ex wants to get back in his life. He needs to make up his mind as to who he wants; his wife or ex-girlfriend. The wife has answered her own questions because she confronted him, but he denied. If he has nothing to hide, he would be straight with his woman and say "I'm wearing the ring my ex gave me, but I don't have any feelings for her. You're the only woman for me." She may not believe him because he's wearing her ring, but if he's giving her no reason to doubt him, she should relax. To me, wearing the ring your ex gave you signals there is still some attraction, and it's a matter of time before the ex slithers into his marriage. She could be attending the funeral to be his comfort; I wouldn't put it past her. Funerals have a funny way of revealing the truth about family matters. I don't see anything good coming out of this situation. If another woman is creeping her way into a marriage, it's the husband's responsibility to shut it down. This is an example of why you can't trust anyone, even in marriage. If an outsider can slip & slide into a covenant, something's wrong. The reason he's hiding his marriage from her is because he still has feelings for her. The End.
