Yesterday, I had a conversation with a FB friend about relationships, and it was getting serious. As the convo was going back & forth, I explain to this woman that by nature, men don't like conflict, but we will shut it down if necessary. I tell her how any woman who gets with me, better not bring any confusion into my life or she's done for. I value peace of mind over conflict, and most sensible men do too. This broad has the nerve to say: "You know that's not realistic, right?" and a bunch of foolishness that was getting on my nerves to be honest. To be honest, the women who say "You can't have growth without challenges" are the same ones guilty of most conflict in relationships. It's ridiculous that some women think that conflict is "healthy", so I told her this: What you said confirms my decision to remain single, because I will NOT sacrifice my peace of mind for growth in challenges. It seems like some women are used to fighting with their man, so they expect men to subscribe to the foolish idea that "fighting is healthy." Conflict is not healthy in relationships because both sides are too focused on being right; no one wants to budge.
Some folks have the nerve to ask me why am I still single. It's the stupid logic that some women possess that turns me off from relationships as a whole. I'm going to post a few responses to my thread:
Jeff Green That "love hurts" "relationships take work " BS is played.
If i have to battle with you,,im out!
I would rather date palmella or pay a pro for services than to be bothered with a nagging combative chic.
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Jeff Green Good sh** Richard!!!!!
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NasSun Greene Y'Akoakam Idc what anybody says, when arguments 'miscommunication and challenges' become the steady diet of a relationship, it's better to be alone. Ain't nobody got time for that.
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Leslie C. Bolton-Browne Also, when conflict occurs you can't just call it quits Richard Hudson. This is when being mature enough for a relationship and choosing a mature partner to be in a relationship with comes into play. You work through arguments that will most definitely happen at some point.
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Leslie C. Bolton-Browne NasSun Greene Y'Akoakam that's just it, it shouldn't be a steady diet. You BOTH have to accept that there may be a few disagreements in life and learn how to get through them. Its inevitable! No two people are the same or have the same mind.
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Mary Stieff Antonio, I understand. The miscommunication was on his part for not speaking up about an issue but letting it fester then blowing up. I always ask for proper communication, I don't read minds. No slamming doors were needed, he went to work, I visited with family and we hashed it out after that.
I agree on talking things out, open and honestly, but there are some men who make that very hard (liars, cheaters) and get mad at their woman for calling them on that.
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NasSun Greene Y'Akoakam Isn't separating oneself from a confrontational and argument prone individual part of the "mature" process of looking for a "mature" partner? Lol
Jerome Bolden No Mary Stieff men are at the place now where we have an even lower threshold for unnecessary conflict
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Mary Stieff I don't argue about silly shit. We argued two weeks ago about a misunderstanding due to miscommunication. We gave each other some space, he apologized and I apologized, we talked some things out. That was that. Got a better understanding of some things on both parts.
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Antonio Negrodomus Chambers Okay, now with that being said, miscommunication is silly in others eyes. I want to discuss matters without the slamming of doors, sleeping in separate rooms, etc.. So, Mary, we are only saying as men, is can we just talk it.out instead of the bickering.
NasSun Greene Y'Akoakam All that maturity and working things out speech is cute . But , we can all tell early enough in a relationship, when solving issues and live peacefully isn't gonna be possible. Maturity will ask that you flee the situation ASAP . I believe this is what Richard's post is about. I'm not about to wait to see how dysfunctional a relationship might make me before I decide to leave alone all tigether...hell no.
Mary Stieff To me, people give up too easily in relationships nowadays. There will be a lot of lonely old folks in the next 30 years.
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Jeff Green Relationships take love,,not work.
If i have to work at being with you then our togetherness has become a JOB.
I WORK everyday,,i dont want to come home and have to work at being with you.
My home is my peaceful rest spot,;not my second job.
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Leslie C. Bolton-Browne I've been married 18 years in July and we're happy and still going strong. We've had difficult discussions from what art schools to put our daughter in, what kind of vehicle to get, how much life insurance to get, what Doctor should care for our ill son to simpler things like where to vacation and what restaurant to eat at this weekend.....we get through it all and move on.
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NasSun Greene Y'Akoakam Rather be alone than fighting and arguing all the time. Don't mind being alone anyways. I'm actually comfortable with it.
What I got from posting this thread is that everyone has varying tolerance levels. Some can overlook a lot, others have a very low threshold. For me, my patience is very thin on arguments, so any woman I get involved with is going to have to understand that. If she can, great. If not, exit left.
