Strawberry Letter: Confused Brother

Confused Brother

He's not as confused as he thinks, so he should admit it: He can't get over her past. He says he's the last person to judge anyone, but his questioning says otherwise. He wanted to be her "first" and he can't handle it because he's a notch on her belt. He's in the list of men she's bonked and every time he brings it up to her, she gets upset (rightfully so). I'm sure she told him about her past from the start, so he should accept it or move on. He doesn't have much room to talk because he's slept with his fair share of women. Did I read about her throwing up his past in his face? No, because I'm sure she accepted it. As long as they're compatible, he shouldn't be so judgmental. Everybody has a past, but it doesn't mean they're not deserving of a loving mate. As long as they've grown from their past, then that shouldn't define their future. He can talk all he wants about his love for her, but it means nothing until he stops judging her because she slept with dozens of men. Sounds like her past is one of his dealbreakers since he always finds a reason to bring up her sleeping with dozens of men. Maybe he wants to find out her sexual skills, who knows? I would think someone who's slept with dozens of people would be well-versed in the sex arena.

Strawberry Letter: I have a good Man That I Can't Trust

I've been in a relationship with my fiancee for 7 years now, and I can't trust him. He’s never done anything for me not to trust him, but looking at all the men in my family and knowing that they cheated. I can’t trust him because I feel that there is no way he is faithful. I have the mindset that ALL men cheat. My grandfather, dad, and uncles all have cheated on their wives, and those idiots are still with them after they’ve been caught time and time again. I refuse to get hurt. I’ve never had a problem with females calling his phone or anything, but I can’t trust him. He does everything for me and the kids. Everyday he comes home from work or school I ask him if he’s talked to any girls and if he ever cheated on me? This is everyday. He says he’s never cheated and will put it on his mother, who is deceased, and his kids, that he’s never cheated. What am I to do? Am I about to run a good man away?

Response: What does she think? No doubt he's about to run him away. Some men have nothing to hide so they'll tell their lady he hasn't cheated, because he hasn't given her a reason to doubt otherwise, but over time, that begins to wear on a man because it's like she doesn't trust him. A man can only take so much false accusation until he cheats for real, or he leaves because he's fed up with her insecurity. This shows you that some women have it in their minds that he's gonna cheat, even if he's been faithful from Day 1. Listen, just because the men in her family are doggish doesn't mean her man is, so she needs to shove the insecurity before she finds herself alone. He's better than me because I would've left after the first cheating accusation. There's no way I would tolerate cheating accusations when I haven't cheated. I couldn't cheat if I tried, because it's not in me to cheat. If I'm not happy, I'll try and work it out or bounce. Knowing my tolerance level, I'm gone. Best thing for him to do is stay faithful and hope she gets rid of that insecurity because if not, he's gone.