This was too good NOT to share. Read On:
I'm sorry ladies, but I have to spill the beans again. This is not an attack on any one person, but just my observations. If this isn't you, just move on. If this is you, I hope to invoke deep thought.
After reading through some responses from my last post, something spoke to me and said to provide a logical reason why SOME black women feel that we are the most loyal women.
Here's the scoop.
Usually if the man is the bread winner, you will hear words like "Leader", "Head of Household" or "Submission.
Conversely, it is more likely for a woman to ENFORCE a sense of role equality, if she is the bread winner.
When I say equal. I mean equal in roles. This is not the same as equal in value. I think that it's fair to say that men who value being the leader also view their women equal in value.
Black men who are the bread winners in their homes, generally, will never go for equal roles. This doesn't mean that they don't respect their wives or that her opinion doesn't matter. In fact, healthy relationships often thrives when each partner strengths are put to work.
Because of what I noted above, some women who have good jobs work better with men who aren't as accomplished as them. This isn't necassarily a bad thing. I would never judge the merits of this type of relationship because what works in these homes, works for them.
I do take issue, however, with the women (just as well as men) who PURPOSELY seek out less established men for the wrong reasons.
Why? Because those relationships often ends in a disaster and perpetuates this vicious cycle of children being born OOW (Out Of Wedlock) or single mother homes.
The ugly truth is, some women who have good jobs only seek men who aren't as accomplished as them, and more often than not, those relationships fail because these women have bad intentions. When I say that they seek these men, I don't necessarily mean that they flat out tell themselves that they only want less established men. It is done more subtly by avoiding or by not going for the well established men. These women are intimidated by well established men, because he seems cocky or they view themselves as being out of his league.
Their bad intentions are often realized later on though, and their men will not place themselves beneath their woman regardless if she makes more than him or not, unless he feels like he drastically needs her. If he is able to get himself more established, he will move on.
Heck even if he doesn't get more established, he will move on to a woman that will let him be the leader.
Then, instead of realizing this, when the man moves on, these women will only blame the men.
That's why (logically) SOME black women feel that they are the most loyal, because unlike many white women, black women don't mind getting a man who isn't as established as her because in her mind she can call ALL of the shots.
After reading through some responses from my last post, something spoke to me and said to provide a logical reason why SOME black women feel that we are the most loyal women.
Here's the scoop.
Usually if the man is the bread winner, you will hear words like "Leader", "Head of Household" or "Submission.
Conversely, it is more likely for a woman to ENFORCE a sense of role equality, if she is the bread winner.
When I say equal. I mean equal in roles. This is not the same as equal in value. I think that it's fair to say that men who value being the leader also view their women equal in value.
Black men who are the bread winners in their homes, generally, will never go for equal roles. This doesn't mean that they don't respect their wives or that her opinion doesn't matter. In fact, healthy relationships often thrives when each partner strengths are put to work.
Because of what I noted above, some women who have good jobs work better with men who aren't as accomplished as them. This isn't necassarily a bad thing. I would never judge the merits of this type of relationship because what works in these homes, works for them.
I do take issue, however, with the women (just as well as men) who PURPOSELY seek out less established men for the wrong reasons.
Why? Because those relationships often ends in a disaster and perpetuates this vicious cycle of children being born OOW (Out Of Wedlock) or single mother homes.
The ugly truth is, some women who have good jobs only seek men who aren't as accomplished as them, and more often than not, those relationships fail because these women have bad intentions. When I say that they seek these men, I don't necessarily mean that they flat out tell themselves that they only want less established men. It is done more subtly by avoiding or by not going for the well established men. These women are intimidated by well established men, because he seems cocky or they view themselves as being out of his league.
Their bad intentions are often realized later on though, and their men will not place themselves beneath their woman regardless if she makes more than him or not, unless he feels like he drastically needs her. If he is able to get himself more established, he will move on.
Heck even if he doesn't get more established, he will move on to a woman that will let him be the leader.
Then, instead of realizing this, when the man moves on, these women will only blame the men.
That's why (logically) SOME black women feel that they are the most loyal, because unlike many white women, black women don't mind getting a man who isn't as established as her because in her mind she can call ALL of the shots.
My View: Many men don't mind if their woman makes more, he wants to know that she won't lord that over his head. Men are looking for a woman to help him build. What Angel wrote ties into a previous blog. What are the intentions of a woman who gets a less-established man? Some women want to help their man make it, others want to help him come up, but as soon as the relationship turns sour, she can say "I made you, you wouldn't be nothing without me."
