Dear Steve and Shirley, I have been married for six years, and my husband is a part of a Greek letter organization. My husband and his fraternity brothers love getting together to "fraternize," as he calls it. During these moments, they either attend strip clubs or have parties where strippers are present, go on out of town trips to Miami or Vegas, or on a regular weekend, hang out at the local clubs. I am a part of a Greek organization myself, so I understand the importance of bonding activities, but I think their activities go too far, to the point where I feel very disrespected as his wife. I have expressed my feelings to him and he does not get it, and says I should understand since I am Greek myself. Our relationship is perfect until the moment he tells me about one of his events and it totally compromises our relationship, and I get extremely upset. Is this a natural feeling to have? Am I being disrespected? What are your thoughts on his actions?
My View: I don't see a reason for her to be upset. She said it herself that she's Greek, so she should know what goes on. As long as her husband and frat brothers aren't doing anything shady, she needs to lighten up. A man should never want to stay under his woman 24-7 unless he's a homebody like her. Just like women need bonding time with their girlfriends, so do men. There's something about a brotherhood between men that just doesn't exist between a group of women. I can understand her anger because of the strippers. Anytime you have a group of men and strippers are involved, that raises concerns. Sadly, some men can't control themselves around strippers. That goes double for a married man because he has a wife at home, and going to a party with strippers will give her the impression that he's going to cheat. The husband could've kept the events from his wife, but he respects her to let her know what's going on; many men wouldn't bother telling their wives. Flipping the script, how would he feel if his wife and a group of her friends were engaged in similar activities? Depending on the husband, I'm sure he would be livid. "What you doing going to a male strip club? You better not be creeping with another man." I understand her frustration, but she needs to trust her husband. If he's not being shady, he should be able to engage in whatever activities he wants. If you don't have trust, you don't have anything. Then again, there's too much temptation that could arise from him going to the strip club or parties (with strippers) with his friends. Many men aren't strong enough to withstand temptation. Think about it, you and a few of your boys are in the strip club, and a stripper and some of her friends invite you'all to her house for a get-together, what do you think is going to happen? He might want to slow down just a little bit.
