GSRT Member Question:
I'm getting married next month. Our Dad left our mom for a younger woman a little over a year ago. He also tried to do our Mom dirty in the divorce, and both he and his new woman treated her really badly. They've supposedly made peace with it and everyone has moved on.
This woman he's with now is very disrespectful to our mom when we're around her and my Dad. We have asked her to not talk badly about our Mom when we are around but she continues to make horrible comments now and then. We also told her our Mom has been nothing but civil and doesn't say anything about her or our Dad so she needs to be a woman and stop all this noise. Our Dad never says anything, or lets her know she's out of line.
I told my Dad when I got engaged that his new "woman" was not welcome at my wedding for many different reasons. Now he says if she can't come, he's not coming either. I said fine--don't come, but my fiance says I should try to talk to my Dad again and make amends.
WTF? Am I being unreasonable?
My View: Weddings are a time for celebration, not drama. If her father wants to act stupid, LET HIM. If he's scared of his woman to where he won't check her for being free with the mouth, there's not much the daughter can do. Maybe it's for the best her father & his woman don't show up, because that's less drama for her to deal with. The fact that her father won't check his woman shows his true colors. Think about it: He tried to do her mom dirty in the divorce, and both of them treated her like a dog. Big ups go out to her mother for not sinking to these degenerates' level. Just because they're acting stupid, doesn't mean her mother should sink to their level. Their treatment towards her mother is proving one thing: She (the mother) is on their minds, but the mother is keeping it moving. The fact that her father & his new woman won't come to the wedding is a blessing because they would've tried to sabotage her wedding day. Divorce brings out the ugly in people, and that's one of many reasons why I'm reluctant to get married. I see where the fiance is coming from, but you can't make amends with someone who's bent on not coming to your wedding, especially if you think they're going to sabotage. I wouldn't try to talk sense into her father, because men are bullheaded so it would be futile. If she decides to make amends, she can do this: Meet him away from his new woman and from your mother. She explains to him again why she doesn't want her there and make the reasons clear. If he is still adamant that he is not coming, then wish them well. Life is too short for this nonsense. This is her wedding day, she shouldn't be stressing over a couple of clowns. Building up to the wedding, she should be excited about the planning process: Picking out her wedding gown and the reception. It's foul for her father not to come to her wedding because his new woman can't come too. Weddings are for the bridge & groom's closest friends & family. She sounds like trouble, so I wouldn't want her at my wedding either. A daughter's greatest joy is walking his daughter down the aisle on her big day, and her father won't give her that honor. Deep down, she will never forgive her father if he doesn't walk her down the aisle.
I'm getting married next month. Our Dad left our mom for a younger woman a little over a year ago. He also tried to do our Mom dirty in the divorce, and both he and his new woman treated her really badly. They've supposedly made peace with it and everyone has moved on.
This woman he's with now is very disrespectful to our mom when we're around her and my Dad. We have asked her to not talk badly about our Mom when we are around but she continues to make horrible comments now and then. We also told her our Mom has been nothing but civil and doesn't say anything about her or our Dad so she needs to be a woman and stop all this noise. Our Dad never says anything, or lets her know she's out of line.
I told my Dad when I got engaged that his new "woman" was not welcome at my wedding for many different reasons. Now he says if she can't come, he's not coming either. I said fine--don't come, but my fiance says I should try to talk to my Dad again and make amends.
WTF? Am I being unreasonable?
My View: Weddings are a time for celebration, not drama. If her father wants to act stupid, LET HIM. If he's scared of his woman to where he won't check her for being free with the mouth, there's not much the daughter can do. Maybe it's for the best her father & his woman don't show up, because that's less drama for her to deal with. The fact that her father won't check his woman shows his true colors. Think about it: He tried to do her mom dirty in the divorce, and both of them treated her like a dog. Big ups go out to her mother for not sinking to these degenerates' level. Just because they're acting stupid, doesn't mean her mother should sink to their level. Their treatment towards her mother is proving one thing: She (the mother) is on their minds, but the mother is keeping it moving. The fact that her father & his new woman won't come to the wedding is a blessing because they would've tried to sabotage her wedding day. Divorce brings out the ugly in people, and that's one of many reasons why I'm reluctant to get married. I see where the fiance is coming from, but you can't make amends with someone who's bent on not coming to your wedding, especially if you think they're going to sabotage. I wouldn't try to talk sense into her father, because men are bullheaded so it would be futile. If she decides to make amends, she can do this: Meet him away from his new woman and from your mother. She explains to him again why she doesn't want her there and make the reasons clear. If he is still adamant that he is not coming, then wish them well. Life is too short for this nonsense. This is her wedding day, she shouldn't be stressing over a couple of clowns. Building up to the wedding, she should be excited about the planning process: Picking out her wedding gown and the reception. It's foul for her father not to come to her wedding because his new woman can't come too. Weddings are for the bridge & groom's closest friends & family. She sounds like trouble, so I wouldn't want her at my wedding either. A daughter's greatest joy is walking his daughter down the aisle on her big day, and her father won't give her that honor. Deep down, she will never forgive her father if he doesn't walk her down the aisle.
