I'm in a Facebook relationship group called Rebirth, and a member Kip Brooks posted the following question: Why do some women look at submission in such a negative light? What's wrong with submitting? Check out the responses.
Richard Hudson Some women submit to the wrong men, and when a stand-up guy comes along that is leading in a beneficial manner, she doesn't know what to do. Also, many women equate submission with being a doormat. When a woman submits to her man, she's far more likely to get what she wants from him.
April McLemore I think when submission is heard there are a number of things that can come to mind and not many are pleasant. It takes a STRONG person to submit and not all men want a submissive partner. I prefer to collaborate lol--let's share in the discussion on what's best for us/our family and allow me to feel heard and that my opinion is valued.... THEN we can make the best decision
T Lavon Lawrence Two problems. A) Submission is not practically defined. B ) The one demanding submission hasn't justified himself as worthy. When you tell someone that their life and their destiny should be second to yourself you had better damned well be capable and able to do something profound with the gift that's given to you.
April McLemore Kip Brooks how do you define submission...Put it in your words for me
Twanna Gill I don't think many women have as many issues with the act of submission as they do with the word itself. The word can make some feel as their mate will look at them as "less than," that what they bring to the table isn't of importance. And that's where the problems begin...
Along with residual baggage from past relationships. To submit in many ways is the ultimate show off trust. Takes time to build that.
And it's my belief that women submit to husbands & not boyfriends... can't allow someone to lead your life if he hasn't thought enough of you to make you his family
Along with residual baggage from past relationships. To submit in many ways is the ultimate show off trust. Takes time to build that.
And it's my belief that women submit to husbands & not boyfriends... can't allow someone to lead your life if he hasn't thought enough of you to make you his family
T Lavon Lawrence When you survey most dudes, that's not the definition of submission. An honest survey of most cats will find submission to be a woman utterly sacrificing her own being and will for the sake of a fellow who simply wants his selfish, sexual desires satisfied in whatever way or whim he's feeling at the moment; secondly, to live HIS life the way HE wants it irregardless of how it affects her or her future - an entirely selfish - not SELFLESS- way of being. I would no sooner recommend any woman submit to the typical modern man than for her to throw herself off a cliff and hope for a comfortable landing.
Lovely Day The right man makes all the difference!!!
Kim Ward One thing that I have seen in successful relationships is there is not this strict adherence to gender roles. My ex loved doing laundry. Who was I to argue? I have a few male friends that do most of the cooking in their relationships. It was not a matter of their wives not knowing how to cook. They were either better at it or simply enjoyed cooking. I think we have to be careful with labeling things as hard or easy. Those definitions are going to vary relationship to relationship and person to person.
April McLemore My man is a good at being a provider....meaning he provides a solid income--but so do I. We've been dating for several years but don't live together. I've purchased 2 homes while in this relationship. I bought my "dream home" last year because it's what I wanted. My man is from the Bronx and I don't think he has ever cut grass a day in his life! I have Mario and he maintains my yard and landscaping. I can fit a toilet faster than he every could--he often asks for my help with household things because he knows I either know how or am willing to try. We both HIRED painters to paint our homes lol... I'll always pay the household bills because I have a system...When we combine households we will be EQUAL partners and will pay bills based off of our income (percent wise) as Suze Orman recommends because it's FAIR. I'm far too independent to be a dependent to him and he doesn't want or respect that. He wants a woman that has her own and compliments him. He tells me often that he loves that about me...I'm a hustler and go get what I want.
T Lavon Lawrence Kip Brooks - A strong man (not fake strength, but real internal strength of mind and spirit, because that is the ONLY true strength a man can have) doesn't have to worry about any woman on earth being able to emasculate him, no matter how big a motor mouth a woman might have. Women who act that way appear weak (and they sense their weakness) in the presence of such a man, just as a weak man's lack of strength feels magnified inside himself when he's keeping the company of a woman who has a stronger Will than he. I've never known a man who possessed genuine strength who had to demand that a woman submit to him. I've never met a man who had to demand that women submit to him who had genuine strength. Too many cats want to be acknowledged as leaders without being leaders. If he has his act together and if his way of being, of doing, and of walking through this life is of a higher nature - if his Will is right - most women sense that kind of thing and will either avoid a relationship with him because they don't want the responsibility of trying to keep up or they'll prefer that kind of man because he's thorough in that regard. Now, a motormouth, stubborn woman will never, ever get along with that kind of a man because his light will always expose her weakness, so she will seek out a guy with a weaker will the relationship to whom allows her to continue being a miserable person with an illusion of control. While a man of weak will who wants to be given a free pass of dominance will never get along with a woman who has a will of her own because she'll always see right through his bullshit.
Kip Brooks Again great take T T Lavon Lawrence. I've never looked at relationships from that prospective. I've never seen a positive in being domineering, or unaccountable to my family. However I do know several strong intelligent women and have witnessed men whither in their presence lol! It's like watching a crime being committed. It's happened before you can lift a finger to stop it. Some of these women I've seen unintentionally run men off with their strength. Some rebel against true submission because they view it as a weakness. They are so concerned with not appearing weak to the point that they can loose some of their femininity. So where I do see and agree with your point, I've also seen women needlessly ruin good things.
Shemika Brown Just playing devils advocate here and i think that these women who try to emasculate men are sometimes stuck in their mode of having to do everything for themselves, be nurturing but masculine in rearing the kids either don't know how to switch it off or may be testing these men... I mean after all if I am keeping my ship afloat for 10 years and someone comes along that I am submit to I have to be certain that he will always have me and my kids interest at heart...even before his own.
T Lavon Lawrence Precisely, Shemika Brown - and sensitive dudes who may not ACTUALLY have what it takes get offended when you tell them that before you turn over the reins they need to show and prove themselves to be excellent drivers.
Jenita Brown Carter Being independent has NOTHING to do with submission. ITS THE MAN that you allow/ wish to submit to. I love to submit....I love going back to my roots and the way I was raised...I love feeling of that connection and having that MAN around that warrants my submission. The key is THE MAN. IS he your king....IS he your leader...can you and should you submit....IS he leading your family down the right path.....are you safe in keeping everything you have unto him?!?! This is the REAL question cause a lot of YOU think you are ready to lead a family but YOU haven't released those "childish ways" yet. YOU aren't ready to be FOLLOWED! If your GTA5 means more to you than quality time with your spouse....THEN YOU AREN'T READY!!! Are YOU ready to be submitted to is the REAL QUESTION!!! IJS
Shemika Brown and I second it Jenita Brown Carter, that single mother goes without a lot of hairdo's and nail appointments, and she want's to make sure when the new foams come out, you're gonna pay the light bill
Jenita Brown Carter Tell that Shemika!!! Girl I have had TOO many niggas wanting submission but wanna also talk about the new J's when their car needs a new transmission. SMGDH!!! Get your priorities together and THEN I MIGHT CONSIDER SUBMISSION
Lovely Day Some men have that way about them that make you feel like you would do anything they ask and run to do it.
Shemika Brown ^^^^^^^^^EXACTLY!!^^^^^^^^
Elusive Sapphire Submission is not something that everyone is entitled to.
The ones that complain the most about it being absent are normally the ones that don't deserve it.
Once you are trusted as head of household, things are no longer about what YOU want or what is YOUR destiny.
You and your spouse are a unit. You are to love her as you love yourself. Her concerns are your concerns. Her dreams in your dreams. Her safety and well being is the your priorities. Her happiness is your happiness.
You no longer live your life to please yourself. You have a family to consider at every decision making opportunity. When you have a choice to make is not about you. It's about what's going to be best for everyone involved in that decision.
Submission will come naturally because she know did you have to answer to every aspect and you're not only looking for what's best for you but what' s also best for her and her family.
It's not about sandwiches and agreeing to every brass decision that's made.
The ones that complain the most about it being absent are normally the ones that don't deserve it.
Once you are trusted as head of household, things are no longer about what YOU want or what is YOUR destiny.
You and your spouse are a unit. You are to love her as you love yourself. Her concerns are your concerns. Her dreams in your dreams. Her safety and well being is the your priorities. Her happiness is your happiness.
You no longer live your life to please yourself. You have a family to consider at every decision making opportunity. When you have a choice to make is not about you. It's about what's going to be best for everyone involved in that decision.
Submission will come naturally because she know did you have to answer to every aspect and you're not only looking for what's best for you but what' s also best for her and her family.
It's not about sandwiches and agreeing to every brass decision that's made.
Jenita Brown Carter I will run this house until someone shows me that they can do it RIGHT!!! Until then..................BOY BYE!!! I need a MAN!!!! #Albert LOL!
Lovely Day And you definitely don't get it just because of gender!
Kip Brooks I'm starting to understand. It would appear to me that submission is looked at so negatively because the choice of mate may be a poor one! Most family men I now don't get excited about the release of a new Jordan shoe. Most men I know get excited about transmissions and cylinders, Ferragamo's or Stacey Adams. I'm noticing a trend where women give several reasons not to submit but they pick men to fit the narrative, or the cost benefit coefficient is out of whack. It's one thing to call a man weak. It's another to just plain be an ungrateful handful that runs even the best of men away.
T Lavon Lawrence Kip Brooks - there's a whole lotta that running on around here where I live. Women callin' out guys but when the right guy shows up they can't shut down their own drama long enough to let that guy be what he can be for her, and off he goes down the road shaking his head wondering why he ever wasted his time trying so hard to walk the right path while other dudes couldn't give a damn and just go the Mack and Playa route. Good Dudes around here are perplexed with that confusion they get from the opposite sex.
My View: The consensus of this post is that a woman shouldn't submit to a man if he hasn't proven himself worthy. Many women have held it down solo for so long that they aren't ready to give up the reigns to a man unless they know he has his stuff together.
