Why Do Men Delay Marriage?

Why Do Men Delay Marriage?

Studies show men delay marriage because women provide domestic comforts without men having to make real commitments.

1. They can get sex without marriage more easily than in times past.

2. They can enjoy the benefits of having a wife without the commitment of marriage.

3. They want to avoid divorce and its financial risks.

4. They want to wait until they are older to have children.

5. They fear that marriage will require too many changes and compromises.

6. They are waiting for the perfect soul mate and she hasn't appeared yet.

7. They face few social pressures to marry.

8. They are reluctant to marry a woman who already has children.

9. They want to own a house before they get a wife.

10. They want to enjoy single life for as long as possible.

The source is Wedded Bliss

 

MY VIEW: All of these are spot on as to why men delay marriage or don't marry at all. Let's be honest, there isn't much benefit to a man getting married that he cannot get outside the marriage. Some men used to get married for sexual reasons, but they can get that elsewhere or they could already be sexing their woman, so what's the point of marriage? 3 and 5 are on point because with the divorce rate being 50% for first marriages, why become a statistic if you don't have to? That's silly. 70% of divorces are filed by women, so that tells you women don't value marriage either. Going through a divorce, alimony and child support laws are slighted towards the woman, so 9 times out of 10, the courts rule in favor of the woman. She gets half of everything even though she came into the relationship with nothing. More and more men are detouring some women, meaning they get to know her, and red flags about her character cause him to pump his brakes to go elsewhere. Marriage DOES require compromise & change, something many men refuse to do. Some men want it to be all about them, but it's not, nor should it be. I will admit that some men do more than their fair share of compromise, because a woman's favorite phrase is "A happy wife, is a happy life" That seems to work every time a man puts his foot down. Over time, he begins to feel used and on a fateful day, he lets her have it because he's tired of doing all the work, he's tired of going above and beyond for someone who won't reciprocate. Having said all that, men are realizing that in the long run, marriage doesn't benefit them because the selection of quality women is poo. Many men think like this: If the bad outweighs the good, why get married when you will have more headaches than sunny days? A man's peace of mind is valuable to him (as it should be), and no woman is going to threaten that.



I Want To Be Married, But...

 

The Beauty of Black Relationships

19 hours ago

Admittingly, most black women do want to get married.
Just not like the 50's where men headed households and the woman bore children and tended to the home and was a COMPLIANT co partner.
Today black women want their "independence"
Independence is NOT a component of marriage. It is the KRYPTONITE of ALL MARRIAGES and that is why MOST marriages eventually FAIL. But this doesn't stop the black woman from her desperate and INSANE vigilance to MAKE that "independence" work in a marriage.
Black women want marriage but not the obligations marriage entails. To black women, this is imprisonment.... Black women want their freedom to come and go as they damn well please, party like they are 18 until they die, have as many male friends as possible, keep all of their single female friends, and BAIL at a moments notice when her husband DARES to try to get her under control and in compliance with what a marriage truly entails.
She FREQUENTLY refers to these type of men as CONTROLLING or ABUSIVE....
Essentially black women want the "idea marriage" in Image ONLY but REFUSE to succumb to the strenuousness that marriage and maturity entails in realtime.

 

My View: I don't doubt that most black women do want marriage. They want marriage on their terms. Many women want to be able to rip & run the streets with no accountability, and you can't do that if you're married. When you're married, you give up the I's for Us's. Like my parents used to tell me when I got beside myself, "It's Not All About You." That's what some black women don't understand: You can't desire marriage and expect to live like you're single, it doesn't work like that. There's nothing wrong with being independent in the sense that you can do for self. If you're an able-bodied adult, you should be able to do for yourself. A man's job as the head of his wife is to get her under control, and in compliance with what marriage entails. If a man senses his wife is getting out of order, he reels her back in. He's not controlling her in the sense that he won't let her go out with friends; her husband is trying to get her to comply with a wife's conduct. If a man doesn't let his woman do what she wants, she calls him controlling or abusive. So...a man is supposed to let his woman do whatever she wants with impunity? That doesn't work on strong, seasoned men. Only simps allow their woman to run amok. To some black women, accountability equals imprisonment because some black women aren't used to structure. They're used to having their way, and if a man won't let a woman have her way, she throws a tantrum. Eventually, the man gives in and she's able to roam free. You cannot desire marriage and freedom at the same time.