My heart goes out to men & women who grew up without a father, which includes having a father around, but he's not involved in his childrens' lives. He's just there. He's quick to dole out discipline, but what about love & support? What about showing his children how the world works, what to/not to do? In the above clip, Steve has a panel of men who share their experiences about reconnecting with their fathers and growing up without fathers, and I did see this episode; it got real. It's not just boys that are affected by their father's absence, girls are too. I think girls are more affected because they don't have an example of how a man should treat them, which explains why many women pick sorry men, because their dad didn't give them a blueprint of what to look for in a man. It's no secret about boys; boys who grow up without fathers are more likely to join gangs and get in trouble with the authorities. I see it from both sides: The man who wants answers as to why his father wasn't around when he was little and the mother who feels slighted because her adult son wants to reach out to his dad for answers about his absence. She was the one who was there for him since Day 1. Like I said before, a mother can only do so much, but she CANNOT raise a boy into a man.
My pops was around from Day 1, but God forbid he decided to walk out, I'm not sure I would want answers as to why he wasn't there. It would be Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind with me. I would look at it this way: I grew into a man without you, so thank you for not being there. You have taught me what NOT to do if I choose fatherhood. That would be my way of forgiveness. Even if a man or woman meets their father for the first time, then what? That man or woman is already grown, those years are lost forever. What do they say, what do they do?
