Financial Stability

Nojma Reflects

22 hours ago

Healing the Black Family 104:

In this financial climate do we as women have UNREALISTIC financial expectations when it comes to men? I'm going to say that some of us do...yes. Now should a man have a job? Of course, you can't maintain a family without some type of income, but does that mean that he won't need our help contributing to the household? A wife is a HELPMEET, that means we HELP our husband. The reality is, it will take two incomes in order to maintain our households, and what we have to realize is that, our contributing to the upkeep of our household doesn't take anything away from HIM being a man, it's actually US as women keeping our duty and being a helpmeet to HIM. I would also like to point out, that if you as a woman make more money that your man....it by no means makes him LESS than a man, and it definitely doesn't make you MORE than a woman. It only becomes a problem when YOU think because you make more money YOU have the right to belittle him.

MY View: There's nothing wrong with wanting financial stability. In this economy, people should be trying to stack as much money as possible which will allow them to live comfortably. I want to live comfortable; who wants to struggle in life? You're worried about how this or that bill will be paid? Finances are one of the top reasons why many relationships fail. To not expect someone to be financially stable is unrealistic. The problem comes into play where some women make $$$ their sole qualification in choosing a mate. He has to make $100K a year, have a fat 401k & IRA, etc. Those things are good but they won't keep her warm at night or protect her when she's in a dangerous situation. I like the last sentence "It becomes a problem when YOU think because you make more money YOU have the right to belittle him." Some women do believe that if they're making more money than their man, they run the relationship. Weak men allow this to happen. That's the thing, there's an indirect understanding that the person who makes the most has more say-so in the relationship. That's true in some, but not all cases because you have relationships where the woman makes more than her man and she still reveres him; she knows he keeps the family together and doesn't undermine his godly authority in the home. It's not like it was back in the day, where the woman stayed home and took care of the kids while the husband worked to keep a roof over their heads. You need TWO incomes in order to sustain a family. Depending on where a couple resides, they each have to make $80K annually just to maintain because some cities have high costs of living. Most men don't mind if their woman makes more than them, as long as she doesn't throw it in his face every time an argument breaks out. Let's be honest, some women who are in an argument with their man; the first thing they throw out is their annual salary. "I make more than you such and such".

Women Don't Complete Men

I'm all for revering a good woman but this guy takes it to another level. He's dependent on a woman to complete him when that shouldn't be the case. A man should be complete within himself before he THINKS about a relationship. This is why the statement "You complete me" bothers me a little because it's like you can't be happy unless you have someone in your life. I feel that someone should COMPLIMENT, not COMPLETE you. Obviously he doesn't know the Bible so let me break it down: God made Adam a HELPMATE for him. Men complete women, not the other way around. The fetus starts off as a female, then grows all the missing parts before development, so when a baby is born a male it is complete. When the baby is born a female, it's considered incomplete. MEN complete WOMEN, men are already complete. She's supposed to be submissive, that's why God made Adam the head. Man was given dominion over all the earth and everything in it; everything is subject to man...the earth, animals and yes, even the woman. Even though she is the helpmeet, she's subject to her man. That's what people don't understand when they make statements like the ones in the text screenshot. That's what trips me out about some men, they put women on a pedestal that AREN'T interested in them. They do all this wining & dining and still don't get any in return. A man is already complete; the woman who comes into his life compliments what he already brings to the table. Flipping the script, MEN & WOMEN should be as whole as possible so that when they come together, each person is bringing 100% to the table. When two people bring 100% to the table, you have a power couple.