GSRT Member Question:
Me and my fiance are getting married in June, but one thing we can't agree on is birth control. He says we should accept as many kids as God chooses to bless us with.
I would like to wait a year or two (we are both 29). We still have school loans and we just put a down payment on a house and will have a mortgage now. I feel we should enjoy our marriage and also be sure we remain stable with the new mortgage before having children. I also know kids are expensive and I think birth control is on order.
We have gone back and forth about it and he finally said "do what you want", but he's resentful and keeps bringing it up. We have to agree on something before the wedding. We have talked to our pastor and he supported my husband's point of view and said we need to have faith that God would provide financially for any kids we have, but I'm still not feeling it.
Thoughts?
Me and my fiance are getting married in June, but one thing we can't agree on is birth control. He says we should accept as many kids as God chooses to bless us with.
I would like to wait a year or two (we are both 29). We still have school loans and we just put a down payment on a house and will have a mortgage now. I feel we should enjoy our marriage and also be sure we remain stable with the new mortgage before having children. I also know kids are expensive and I think birth control is on order.
We have gone back and forth about it and he finally said "do what you want", but he's resentful and keeps bringing it up. We have to agree on something before the wedding. We have talked to our pastor and he supported my husband's point of view and said we need to have faith that God would provide financially for any kids we have, but I'm still not feeling it.
Thoughts?
God gives us common sense. She's doing the right thing by holding off until you are ready in the many varied ways it takes to raise a family. 1) Financially, it costs about $500,000 to raise a child from birth to 21. 2) It is a known fact that marriages without children are much more stable and happy than ones with children because of the added stress of responsibility. I suggest she lets him know that for the moment you are going to use BC after all, it IS her body that will carry the load of pregnancy and your mind that will need to deal with the bulk of the raising because she's the mother. Her thoughts of waiting until they are financially able, marriage solid and stable are spot on. She's thinking smart. She should stand firm and trust her God given instincts and intelligence. She must not be pushed into a situation where at the end of the day SHE'LL be stuck with the burden, and not him. He should understand that it is not a 'control' issue, but simply one of expediency. She seems wise, thoughtful, and faithful. He'll appreciate it later, trust. Many times men really don't know what's best, but that's what wives are for, to advise, educate, and influence for the BETTER.
Student loans and a mortgage? He sounds crazy talking about having children given loans and mortgage? Depending on the size of the loans, they should pay off the loan first and then revisit the idea of having children. It's best to have little or no debt before having children so one can provide for the child(ren). If this couple is debt free, they will have no worries about their child(ren)'s needs. Birth control is a responsible decision. She should have the number of children that she can financially & emotionally support. Too many people are bringing children into this world and their money isn't right. It's good to trust God for provision, but God also gave us brains to use in the decision making process. She must do what's best for her, even if he won't like it.
