The REAL Reason Why People Cheat

 

People cheat because there's someone willing to cheat with them. It has nothing to do with insecurities or the grass being greener on the other side. There it is, the TRUTH. People come up with all kinds of reasons for someone cheating: (S)he wasn't emotionally available, they're never home, she works too late, he spends more time with his friends, etc. Their excuses have excuses. Some reasons for cheating are valid, but others are baloney. If you're going to cheat, make sure the reason is valid. Don't shuck & jive like like (s)he isn't this, that, and the other. That annoys me to the core when people make excuses for why they cheat. For every person that cheats, there's someone willing to cheat with them. Think about it, could you cheat on your spouse with yourself? Negative. You need a willing participant (usually a complete stranger). You and another person go on a few dates, get to know each other. Both of you open up to each other about relationship woes and before you know it, clothes come off and you find yourself in bed with someone else. Just like in arguments, there has to be two participants. One person is not going to argue with themselves, because they will look crazy. Cheating works the same way, it requires two willing participants. Personally, cheating is a waste of time. Why go through all the trouble to cheat on your spouse? If you're not happy, LEAVE. There's nothing like leaving a relationship with your head held high, knowing you did everything possible to make the relationship work, but to no avail.



New Black Woman=Brazilian Women?

 

Yesterday, I discussed why Men Delay Marriage. I gave the top reasons why men delay marriage, and I went further by expanding on those reasons. I posted this blog on facebook and it was a hit, drew over 100 responses. As the discussion got deeper, I stated how some black women refuse to do an about face and it's that refusal that will cause black men to look elsewhere. There seems to be a major phenomenon of black men looking for companionship in Brazilian women. Whether it's true that Brazilian women come with less drama remains to be seen, but according to many black men, non-American black woman respect the man's role and has less attitude. I'm not getting into the black men vs. black women wrestling match, because God knows there's more than enough venom spewed on the net about how black men & women aren't worth spit, and so on. Some black women think their degree makes them marriage material, when that's not the case. As stated before, a degree means you have the knowledge & skills to do that job. Many parents and grandparents had longstanding relationships and they didn't have big bank accounts, degrees behind their name or a big house. For some women, their degree is their man and they spend close to a lifetime chasing multiple degrees as a full-time student, aka degree whoring. The most important reason why men delay marriage or not get married, is that there's no benefit for them. It seems like marriage is more for the woman, than the man.

 

I can't relate to what many men are going through regarding bad American Black women, because I don't check for them. If something is toxic, I stay away from it. I don't want toxicity in my life or around me, period. All this rah-rah about Brazilian women being better than American black women is simply a cover-up for some men. There's something within them that is attracted to these toxic women. Honestly, some men love bad women. They love toxic women just so they can have a reason to whine about how all black women aren't this, that and the other. All non-American black women aren't docile like many black men think. Carribean black women are some feisty creatures; a man tries to control them, she don't play that. Yes, some Carribean black women are very submissive, but that's because their men do right by them. As long as a man treats his woman like a queen, he will live like a king. Women, regardless of ethnicity, will not tolerate domineering men. Flipping the script, if some black women are crying about the lack of quality black men, and there's an exodus of successful, upstanding black men to non-American black women, the issue lies with HER, not him. I have to be honest, many black men are abandoning black women because they are sick of trying to school ABW on how to keep good black men. Some have the "take me as I am" mindset and refuse to make the proper adjustments. When the good men are gone, all some black women have are housecats and vibrators. Then what? So keep up the "If we're so bad, leave us alone and get a non-American black woman" attitude. Sadly, some black women will not care. Then they will sit back and wonder where the good black men are, or they'll pray and ask God to send them a good man.



Why Do Men Delay Marriage?

Why Do Men Delay Marriage?

Studies show men delay marriage because women provide domestic comforts without men having to make real commitments.

1. They can get sex without marriage more easily than in times past.

2. They can enjoy the benefits of having a wife without the commitment of marriage.

3. They want to avoid divorce and its financial risks.

4. They want to wait until they are older to have children.

5. They fear that marriage will require too many changes and compromises.

6. They are waiting for the perfect soul mate and she hasn't appeared yet.

7. They face few social pressures to marry.

8. They are reluctant to marry a woman who already has children.

9. They want to own a house before they get a wife.

10. They want to enjoy single life for as long as possible.

The source is Wedded Bliss

 

MY VIEW: All of these are spot on as to why men delay marriage or don't marry at all. Let's be honest, there isn't much benefit to a man getting married that he cannot get outside the marriage. Some men used to get married for sexual reasons, but they can get that elsewhere or they could already be sexing their woman, so what's the point of marriage? 3 and 5 are on point because with the divorce rate being 50% for first marriages, why become a statistic if you don't have to? That's silly. 70% of divorces are filed by women, so that tells you women don't value marriage either. Going through a divorce, alimony and child support laws are slighted towards the woman, so 9 times out of 10, the courts rule in favor of the woman. She gets half of everything even though she came into the relationship with nothing. More and more men are detouring some women, meaning they get to know her, and red flags about her character cause him to pump his brakes to go elsewhere. Marriage DOES require compromise & change, something many men refuse to do. Some men want it to be all about them, but it's not, nor should it be. I will admit that some men do more than their fair share of compromise, because a woman's favorite phrase is "A happy wife, is a happy life" That seems to work every time a man puts his foot down. Over time, he begins to feel used and on a fateful day, he lets her have it because he's tired of doing all the work, he's tired of going above and beyond for someone who won't reciprocate. Having said all that, men are realizing that in the long run, marriage doesn't benefit them because the selection of quality women is poo. Many men think like this: If the bad outweighs the good, why get married when you will have more headaches than sunny days? A man's peace of mind is valuable to him (as it should be), and no woman is going to threaten that.



I Want To Be Married, But...

 

The Beauty of Black Relationships

19 hours ago

Admittingly, most black women do want to get married.
Just not like the 50's where men headed households and the woman bore children and tended to the home and was a COMPLIANT co partner.
Today black women want their "independence"
Independence is NOT a component of marriage. It is the KRYPTONITE of ALL MARRIAGES and that is why MOST marriages eventually FAIL. But this doesn't stop the black woman from her desperate and INSANE vigilance to MAKE that "independence" work in a marriage.
Black women want marriage but not the obligations marriage entails. To black women, this is imprisonment.... Black women want their freedom to come and go as they damn well please, party like they are 18 until they die, have as many male friends as possible, keep all of their single female friends, and BAIL at a moments notice when her husband DARES to try to get her under control and in compliance with what a marriage truly entails.
She FREQUENTLY refers to these type of men as CONTROLLING or ABUSIVE....
Essentially black women want the "idea marriage" in Image ONLY but REFUSE to succumb to the strenuousness that marriage and maturity entails in realtime.

 

My View: I don't doubt that most black women do want marriage. They want marriage on their terms. Many women want to be able to rip & run the streets with no accountability, and you can't do that if you're married. When you're married, you give up the I's for Us's. Like my parents used to tell me when I got beside myself, "It's Not All About You." That's what some black women don't understand: You can't desire marriage and expect to live like you're single, it doesn't work like that. There's nothing wrong with being independent in the sense that you can do for self. If you're an able-bodied adult, you should be able to do for yourself. A man's job as the head of his wife is to get her under control, and in compliance with what marriage entails. If a man senses his wife is getting out of order, he reels her back in. He's not controlling her in the sense that he won't let her go out with friends; her husband is trying to get her to comply with a wife's conduct. If a man doesn't let his woman do what she wants, she calls him controlling or abusive. So...a man is supposed to let his woman do whatever she wants with impunity? That doesn't work on strong, seasoned men. Only simps allow their woman to run amok. To some black women, accountability equals imprisonment because some black women aren't used to structure. They're used to having their way, and if a man won't let a woman have her way, she throws a tantrum. Eventually, the man gives in and she's able to roam free. You cannot desire marriage and freedom at the same time.

Black Men Stop Being Slaves To Your D***!

 

Why do some black men think with the OTHER head instead of the one attached to their shoulders? It's silly. A while ago, I read a story about a father who molested his young daughter (she was 12 at the time). The son came out in bad shape because the genetics were too close. Anyone in the medical field knows that incest is frowned upon, because of genetic problems. The father has no remorse. In a way, I understand why black women grow up scarred and mean: The black men in their lives have sexed them from an early age. These nasty-a$$ men are that sick in the head, they are so thirsty to where they are raping their own seeds to satisfy some sick craving for sex! Most people think it's white people that rape & molest their own children, but that's not true. Blacks do it as well, it's just not talked about as much. This is a sick world we live in, and as an uncle of two adorable nieces, THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I WILL PUT MY NIECES IN HARM'S WAY! I don't play that. This is my issue with black men as a whole: THEY ARE TOO THIRSTY! They are willing to throw away everything they've got going for themselves over vagina. Businesses have been lost, because he's trying to sex his administrative assistant who happens to be an attractive, 30-something, shapely woman. Back in Biblical times, Samson allowed his other "head" to get the best of him. He tells Delilah the secret to his strength, she chops off his hair, he's thrown in prison, and the rest is history. Samson is a good example of a thirsty man that let his d*** get the best of him. Tiger Woods is another example. He had a good woman by his side, and threw it away over some vagina. I tell myself this all the time, I thank God I'm not thirsty for sex like a lot of these men, or I would be down bad. If a group of men get together for a guys night out, what's the first thing they ask? Where's the women. 9 times out of 10, some of them are going to be trying to sleep with her. Some black men make me sick. These men are quick to say "My baby mama isn't nothing", but they slept with her. If a man sleeps with a woman, and she has a baby by him, he dogs her out because she put him up for child support, WHAT DOES THAT MAKE HIM? Obviously, he liked what's between her legs if he decided to hit that.



My Education Makes Me Better Than You

Jerome Iownamerica Bolden

Ladies...we dont care nothing about your academic/professional accolades/title that yall think we are "supposedly" intimidated by; ask the many of the rest of your 'types' that still DOESNT & CAN'T BAG A MAN :) — with

Greg Brutality Cross Jr.

 

 

My View: This is an issue many men have with women. Women love to tout how they have this & that education (which is good), but conduct-wise, they have nothing to show for it. When a man is strong enough to check a woman, she throws out belligerence: You hate your mother, your gay, you hate women, etc. It's nauseous. If she was so educated, why is she carrying on like a project woman? *Crickets & tumbleweeds* I'm proud of everyone that furthers their education because it shows they have the drive to better themselves. Your degree makes you no better than the blue-collar worker at the auto plant, or the Administrative Assistant at the doctor's office. Some women need to get off their high horse thinking that because they're so educated, no one can tell them anything. Some black women think their degrees give them self worth. The only thing a degree shows is that you can finish what you started. It gives you the tools & skills to do the job you're going for, THAT'S IT! Just because some black women have a degree behind their name, they are no better than anyone else, so they need to cut it out. Going further, degrees used to carry weight, but not in this economy. People with Master's Degrees competing for jobs at McDonald's and Wal-Mart, because they can't find a job in their field. What about that degree now? My problem isn't with black women who have degrees, my issue is with some black women who feel as though that Master's or Doctorate puts them in the untouchable group. Like the quote says, many of them still can't bag a man.

Garbage Can Cooch

 

Tommy Sotomayor delivers a hard-hitting message to women to stop using their vagina as a trash can. That's exactly what some black women are doing when they give it up to every Tom, Dick & Harry. When she goes on Maury to find out who the baby's father is, the woman gets sympathy while the man is villified. Over 70% of black children are born to single mothers, and of that percentage, those births are by several different men. Some women have children by so many different men, SHE doesn't know who the father is. What does she do? Go on Maury. Hell, no wonder Maury has one of the longest running talk shows; because these garbage can women give him his material. Some black women need to understand that THEY have the power. It's their body, so they decide who they let in and out of it. If a woman is going to lay down with a man, she should at least make him strap up. If he gets upset and leaves, it's a blessing because she dodged a bullet. I have a saying as it relates to this topic: Some women are hot & ready like Little Ceasar's Pizza, $5.38 after tax. Ready to give it up at a moment's notice, and there's no guarantee the food will be that good. The baby is the one who's caught in the middle because (s)he has no idea who their true father is, and the mother won't keep it real with their child to say "I don't know who the father is because I decided to be a loose heffer and part heaven for every man who told me I was beautiful". That's too much like right.