19 hours ago
Admittingly, most black women do want to get married.
Just not like the 50's where men headed households and the woman bore children and tended to the home and was a COMPLIANT co partner.
Today black women want their "independence"
Independence is NOT a component of marriage. It is the KRYPTONITE of ALL MARRIAGES and that is why MOST marriages eventually FAIL. But this doesn't stop the black woman from her desperate and INSANE vigilance to MAKE that "independence" work in a marriage.
Black women want marriage but not the obligations marriage entails. To black women, this is imprisonment.... Black women want their freedom to come and go as they damn well please, party like they are 18 until they die, have as many male friends as possible, keep all of their single female friends, and BAIL at a moments notice when her husband DARES to try to get her under control and in compliance with what a marriage truly entails.
She FREQUENTLY refers to these type of men as CONTROLLING or ABUSIVE....
Essentially black women want the "idea marriage" in Image ONLY but REFUSE to succumb to the strenuousness that marriage and maturity entails in realtime.
Just not like the 50's where men headed households and the woman bore children and tended to the home and was a COMPLIANT co partner.
Today black women want their "independence"
Independence is NOT a component of marriage. It is the KRYPTONITE of ALL MARRIAGES and that is why MOST marriages eventually FAIL. But this doesn't stop the black woman from her desperate and INSANE vigilance to MAKE that "independence" work in a marriage.
Black women want marriage but not the obligations marriage entails. To black women, this is imprisonment.... Black women want their freedom to come and go as they damn well please, party like they are 18 until they die, have as many male friends as possible, keep all of their single female friends, and BAIL at a moments notice when her husband DARES to try to get her under control and in compliance with what a marriage truly entails.
She FREQUENTLY refers to these type of men as CONTROLLING or ABUSIVE....
Essentially black women want the "idea marriage" in Image ONLY but REFUSE to succumb to the strenuousness that marriage and maturity entails in realtime.
My View: I don't doubt that most black women do want marriage. They want marriage on their terms. Many women want to be able to rip & run the streets with no accountability, and you can't do that if you're married. When you're married, you give up the I's for Us's. Like my parents used to tell me when I got beside myself, "It's Not All About You." That's what some black women don't understand: You can't desire marriage and expect to live like you're single, it doesn't work like that. There's nothing wrong with being independent in the sense that you can do for self. If you're an able-bodied adult, you should be able to do for yourself. A man's job as the head of his wife is to get her under control, and in compliance with what marriage entails. If a man senses his wife is getting out of order, he reels her back in. He's not controlling her in the sense that he won't let her go out with friends; her husband is trying to get her to comply with a wife's conduct. If a man doesn't let his woman do what she wants, she calls him controlling or abusive. So...a man is supposed to let his woman do whatever she wants with impunity? That doesn't work on strong, seasoned men. Only simps allow their woman to run amok. To some black women, accountability equals imprisonment because some black women aren't used to structure. They're used to having their way, and if a man won't let a woman have her way, she throws a tantrum. Eventually, the man gives in and she's able to roam free. You cannot desire marriage and freedom at the same time.
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