Dr. Phil: Homeschool vs. Public School

I watched Dr. Phil and the topic of discussion is Homeschool vs. Public School. The wives are for homeschool and the husbands are pro-public school. Pro-public school advocates are like: Kids need the socialization, and pro homeschool advocates are like: Public schools have too many issues. Let me say this: People talk about socialization, socialization like it's the be all, end all of school. That's the problem, a lot of kids socialize too much instead of focusing on their schoolwork, and usually their grades prove me right. The older someone gets, the less socialization they should need. For me, I socialize when I need to and that's that. There are times where I mingle, and times when I fall back. For parents who choose to homeschool, kids can get the social skills needed by being around likeminded students: book & academic clubs, neighborhood events, recreation leagues, etc. Public school isn't the only place kids can learn social skills. Or if parents want to send their child to traditional school, they can do charter schools or private schools where they'll be around likeminded kids who love to learn. Public schools have too much of a balance, where kids don't want to be there and cause trouble for other students, and studious kids. In short, I see why some parents homeschool.

Here's a couple responses that reinforce both sides of this debate:

Destiny: Charter schools and private schools don't automatically mean that the kids that attend are there because they want to learn. The majority of them are there because their parents force them to be there. I agree that public school isn't the only way for kids to learn social skills. If you are going to home school the parents need to ensure that the kids are involved in social activities. Social skills are important whether you believe it or not and how will you learn those skills if you spend all your time at home with your parents. Keeping them away from everything cripples them. My mom home schooled my sister for years and my little brother for some years and my little sister and I for a little bit but she had enough sense to make sure we weren't shut out from the world.

Me: A good majority of private school and charter school students are serious about their education, more so in the private school setting. Otherwise, why go to a private school and throw away a good education? That's silly. Everything you stated is what I've reinforced about homeschool: Kids do need to be involved in social activities so they can get those social skills they need. Your mom had the balance down of homeschool and socialization. I do agree that some parents take it overboard.

Destiny: It's important because it teaches you how to interact with different people. That's quite difficult when most of your life is spent interacting with your parents and siblings only. This right here is why my mother set up activities for us to teach us how to deal with different people. I know a woman that home schools her kids(they are 14 and 16 and have never seen a public school) but they are very involved with other kids and because of that they are well rounded kids.

You Are Sentenced to A Life Of Being Alone

I have one question: Why do some people feel a single person is missing out on a relationship? You know what I'm talking about. Some people throw shade at single folks by pressuring them into relationships by saying "You're going to grow old & alone". Looking at the state of relationships,  most singles enjoy their solitude. Think about it, you don't have to deal with someone's annoying personality & vice versa, no compromise, no accountability, etc. A lot of folks do not want to give up their peace for learning to love another person, and especially if the giver doesn't feel the love back. That's my issue with relationships; sometimes, one person feels like they're doing all the giving while the other person isn't returning the love back. Even if someone meets the "right" person, there's no guarantees of an easy relationship. 
You'll still go through bad times, and you have to be patient enough to love your spouse even if you may not feel the love back. Nobody should want to deal with that. I will say this: Salute to everyone who can love their spouse even if they're not feeling the love back, you're better than me because I was raised on reciprocation: Someone does for me, I return the favor, or vice versa. I see why some people say relationships are a full-time job, don't apply if you can't handle the responsibility. It's true, relationships are work because they require maturity, selflessness and compromise. You have to be willing to work through the rough times with your spouse. Everyone isn't cut out for that, and that's ok. I respect some people's honesty enough to state that they don't want to love someone at their worst. At least they're honest with themselves, which is more than I can say for most.

There Is No I In Team

Today's blog message is There Is No I In Team. Where did this topic come from? I posted an article on my Facebook page that dealt with an entire football team being suspended in Utah for cyber bullying, and disrespecting teachers. Some parents were not happy at all because they felt the entire team shouldn't have been punished because a few teammates chose to do wrong. I've said this time and time again, and I continue to be proven right: One person can mess it up for everyone. It may not be fair, but life isn't. This Utah high school football coach is teaching these young men about accountability. If you see some of your fellow teammates do wrong, hold them accountable or you're just as guilty as they are. I salute this coach for caring more about the boys' character than winning football games. It's about time coaches take a stand for what's right rather than co-signing their team's foolishness because they care more about winning.

I do see why some parents are upset at the suspension of the entire football team because a majority of those students weren't a part of the misbehavior, so why should they have to pay for the foolishness of their teammates? That's not fair to them. It goes back to what I said before: One person's misbehavior can affect the entire team because many times, the coach is going to come down on the entire team instead of the perpetrators. In short, I salute what this coach is doing and there's a need for more coaches like him that value character over wins.

Don't Check My Child(ren)

I don't care who's slighted, but I have to get this off my chest. Parents have a problem with other adults checking their child for disrespect. Well, if you did your job then other adults wouldn't have to.    I'm tired of some parents getting in their feelings because a concerned adult has the guts to try and point your child in the right direction. Let me give an example: Your child is a known bully who has been reprimanded for picking on other students for whatever reason. It's brought to your attention, and the parent shrugs it off like "Oh it's nothing, boys will be boys." Bullying is a serious issue due to its damaging effects on students. Kids are a reflection of their parents. If a child is misbehaving, people look at the parents. The child doesn't know any better, for the most part. It's until the child gets old enough to know right from wrong that everything falls on that child. People need to cut the crap, and stop making excuses for kids misbehavior because it's annoying. If your child is a bully, check them or someone else will. People are losing patience with these wayward youth and taking matters into their own hands. When another adult handles your child, you want to get in your feelings because someone did what you wouldn't do. Some parents are too busy trying to be their child's friend that they let their child run this & that. If a child is disrespectful to me & no parent is around, I will check that child. If the parent has issue with it, they can see me and I'll tell them the same thing. When I was coming up, my parents were well known so I couldn't do wrong without them finding out.

Marriage Is Business, Not Romance

 Salute to my FB friend Hondo Solomon for this topic, because the Bro. is on point. Before anyone reads today's blog message, take a few seconds to read the topic title and re-read it again. The reason I want folks to reread this topic at least 3 times is because a lot of folks are confused about what marriage is really about. See, some people think marriage is lovey-dovey where you come home to that (wo)man and sex them on demand. No, marriage is business & not romance. Why is marriage business and not romance? It's simple: There's legal, financial, and health benefits to being married such as lower tax rates for married couples, spouses recover faster from illness, and from a professional standpoint: Married couples are seen as stable, therefore they're more likely to advance faster at their company, etc. 

Those are some of the reasons why I say marriage is business. Being that marriage is business, you have to do your homework on your potential husband/wife. Find out all you can about them from family & friends, professional colleagues, exes, professors, etc. Getting intel from the aforementioned sources is a great way to find out if someone's worth marrying because you get to learn their work ethic, what makes them happy or mad, their dreams, etc. Once you find out your desired intel, observe how they handle disappointments. How someone handles setbacks is a testament to how they'll be as a husband or wife. If they're quick to give up just because of an issue, then you can bet that they have no hesitation on backing out of marriage. You wouldn't accept the first deal that's presented to you because you could be missing out on something better.

It's ok to say no to marriage proposals because this is life we're talking about. A person may be a great catch, but they're not necessarily a good catch for you.

Exposing People

What is people's fascination with exposing people? Everywhere I turn, someone's talking about exposing this & that person. My first thought: While you're busy trying to expose someone else, someone is trying to expose you. In other words, make sure you have no dirt before you go trying to expose another person. Better yet, who are you to expose anyone? That's God's job. Unlike people, God keeps careful tally so we get what we deserve, good or bad. I think some people get off on exposing folks because it gives them power. If you put someone on blast, and get others against them,  you feel powerful. Little do you realize, you have your own dirt that has yet to be exposed, if at all. My stance is this: You don't have to expose anyone because the truth has a way of coming to light. In due time, either folks will slip up and expose themselves or people will find out on their own. I believe in giving folks enough rope to hang themselves. Too many people try to do the Lord's job without all the facts. Many times, we expose people out of spite. This person did me dirty so I'm gonna put them on blast. You're not the only one who was mistreated, and you won't be the last. In due time, people will find out someone's true colors and when they do, it's over. All I'm saying is no one is important enough to expose anyone, because we all have flaws. One flawed person exposing another flawed person is the same as the blind leading the blind. If you're going to front someone out, you better be Mr(s). Perfect.

He Said He Had Cancer So I Married Him | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS

He Said He Had Cancer So I Married Him | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS

The worst thing anyone can do is LIE about having a terminal disease. He knew what he was doing when he made up the fake cancer story; it was to get this woman to marry him and she fell for it. If he lied about this, there's no telling what else he's lying about. If she has any sense about herself, she will reconsider being with him. Here's a major clue that stood out to me that said he was lying: He told her he's been given 3 months to live and he's dying. Now, anyone with a terminal disease who's been given months to live should not be thinking about marriage. They should be trying to prepare their family for the worst because although some people beat cancer, some people it's their time. He wished to be married prior to his death. Why couldn't he propose to her BEFORE this fake death scare? I'll tell you why: He knew in his heart he was lying. He wanted this woman by any means necessary, and like some men, he made up a fake cancer story to tug at this woman's heart; she fell for it. Since he came clean about the fake cancer story, I wonder if she still has the same love for him. They did get married and have a baby together, so it's not like if they divorce, both are free. Even if they don't work out, they are forever bound by the baby. Let's be honest: She knows how to feel. He lied to marry her by making up a fake cancer story. He should've been honest with her and said he wanted to get to know her better with the intention of marriage. Now, she may not believe a word he says because he's shown her he can't be trusted. If she chooses to stay with him and they have an argument, she will have ammunition to use against him. Some women may forgive, but they don't forget.