Friendship

As you get older, you find out you don't need a lot of friends. You really need a few friends at most, and if you're super-selective you're content with one or two close friends. Besides, it's not possible to have lots of friends. You can be friendly with everyone, but it's not possible to be friends with everybody because of the different personalities people share. It gets my goat when people say they have lots of friends because it instantly triggers my lying meter. It's better to have a few close friends than lots of associates. Everybody doesn't deserve a spot in your life, that's the reality. Only a privileged few make it to friend status and that's ok. You control who you allow into your life. If you want to attract good people in your life, be the person you want to attract. People I've thought were friends really weren't friends, they were acquaintances. How is it possible to keep up with the "many" friends one has? Social Media & Technology. People I thought were friends turned out to be acquaintances, or associates at best. Most people fit into two categories: Acquaintance Or Associate.

Relationship Entitlement Pt. 2

This is Part 2 on my previous discussion of Relationship Entitlement. A lot of men complain about spending $200 or so on a date with a woman only to find out the relationship is going nowhere. That's bonkers to me because common sense should signal if you're involved with someone, you don't mind spending money on them because they are your MAN or WOMAN. They have earned the right to be in your life. The idea of spending money to buy someone's affection is ludicrous. This is how I feel: If a man CHOOSES to drop $200 or more on a date with a woman and gets nothing in return, he has NO RIGHT to complain because he threw away money on a woman that wasn't feeling him. Going on a date is like trying on clothes in a dressing room at a department store; you see if (s)he is a good fit for you and if so, you go through with the purchase. That's a sucker move to spend money on a man or woman and the relationship goes nowhere. A woman IS NOT obligated to give up the coochie just because a man shells out $400+ on a date with her. Some women will do that, but they're few and far between. This problem can easily be solved if men would stop checking for these princessy, entitled women. If a man is meeting a woman for the first time and she's expecting to be wined & dined but feels as if she doesn't have to reciprocate, EXIT STAGE LEFT. A lot of men don't understand this principle because they're looking at being rewarded with sex. The problem is some women have an entitlement mentality which stems from their fathers pumping their heads up with this craziness; "Beware of men who say you have to bring something to the table. A man is supposed to take care of you this, that and the third" When some women run up on discerned men that see right through their princess mindset, they can't handle it because they're used to having their butts powdered. The only woman that's worthy of my money is a woman that has Mrs. and Hudson in her name. Otherwise, if I want to get to know a woman, great conversation we will have. It's free & doesn't cost anything. Just like women have an entitlement complex, men are catching up as well because most men measure their future woman by their mother; they want a woman that has the qualities of their mom. I can understand wanting someone with the qualities of your parents, but people need to realize the individuality that a potential significant other can bring.

Random Thought

Everybody talking about what they gonna do for 2013 and they already failed before the year got underway. Example: Mothers talking about leaving the club life behind but when New Year's celebrations are taking place at a local nightclub, they the first ones there. And don't get me started on these folks talking about New Year, New Me. That only applies if you're ACTUALLY putting it into action. More like new year, same foolishness & drama from last year. That Part.

Do You

I've never understood the rationale behind trying to impress others when 9 times out of 10, they aren't worried about you and/or aren't worth impressing. What happened to individuality? It seems like more people want to be sheep than ride solo and if that's what they want, that's on them. I've never been concerned with impressing people that mean nothing to me. Are they putting food on my table, clothes on my back, paying my bills and signing my check? Negative. I will never concern myself with the opinions of others unless they mean well and see a better way for me to go in order to reach my destination faster.

God Knows Best

Why do people think they know better than God? I've never understood that. True, he gives us free will but he also gave us a brain to use. You have to weigh the pros and cons of everything you do and if the cons outweigh the pros, DON'T DO IT. God will let us think we can do a better job than him. It's when we get jammed up that we realize that God knows best, after all. This is a continual lesson I'm learning everyday. What I may think is good for me may not be what God thinks is best for me.

On Your Level

Read the following letter posted by Nojma Reflects. It was too good NOT to share:

To all the women that say they can’t find a man on their level, what exactly is this “level” that you speak of? What if your “level” isn't appealing to some men, especially if you like to talk about your” haves” and his “have nots”, your independence and his dependency on you? I mean did you ever stop and think that “your” level might be BENEATH his? Sometimes I wonder what type of mirror we as women view ourselves in. Maybe it’s the kind that gives us an optical illusion, you know if you go a fair or a carnival and you go into the house of mirrors, and what is being reflected is not reality? Kind of like that.

Another misconception is that men are intimidated by “successful” women. First of all what is your definition of success? There is nothing wrong with being proud of your accomplishments, and what you acquire in life. However some women equate success with degrees, nice cars and houses and assume that having those things automatically make them a “good woman”. If that is the case, then why are women able to prosper professionally but suffer personally? Sometimes we as women don’t realize how arrogant some of us have become, and we interpret OUR arrogance as THEIR insecurities or intimidation. What man wouldn't want his woman to have the best in life and be able to GIVE that to her?

So maybe, just maybe.. it’s not so much that you can’t find a man on your level, you just might be suffering from “delusions of grandeur” placing yourself on a “level” that you don’t or haven’t qualified yourself to be on. Sometimes our levels are really superficial and why would a deep Man (mental giant) swim in shallow water?

My $.02 cents: I understand being proud of your accolades but what some women forget is that other women have her same or greater credentials; so what makes her so special that she has to rattle off having a Master's Degree, a nice car and home? Make it so bad, these women are quick to point out their haves and his have nots. Arrogant women will never be a good look in a man's eyes. Let's see how that degree and house/car will comfort you when you're going through rough times and need someone to talk to. It's not that some women can't find a man on their level, it's that many men don't like the product she's marketing so they choose not to invest. You almost never hear of a man boasting about his education or financial/social status, it's usually women because they feel like they have to compensate for some area that's lacking in their lives. If a man talks about his accomplishments, it's from a humble standpoint because he knows bragging is not the move; that's the fastest way to turn people off. Humility is respected over arrogance and until women learn this, they will be alone with nothing more than their housecats.

Simp Nation

It's comical how some black men claim to have standards but when T&A shows up to challenge them, they retreat as if they had no say-so AT ALL. These men are cowards because booty and breast have a hold on them to where they will sell their soul to get sex from a woman. These are the same men that are scared to engage women in debates because all a woman has to do is say "he hates women, he's gay, all women aren't like that; just the ones you hang around" and so on and he backs up. That works on weak men but for strong men that aren't afraid of belligerent women, she has to try a little harder. Black men will lose their morals over T&A, shakes head. These men will take any & everything from a woman just because she has curves and he doesn't want to lose that. Lucky for me and other likeminded men, T&A doesn't phase everybody. It's like you've seen one, you see them all *shrug* Deep down, most women laugh at these thirsty men because all she has to do is show some skin, and these men go buck wild, start salivating like dogs, etc.

She Wants That Thug Lovin'

It never ends with some women, does it? She wants a thug because he can "handle her" He'll handle her alright; in the form of two black eyes and a couple bruises. If she likes to be smacked around, who are we to judge? True, but the problem is thug loving women get hurt to the core so they come to their senses and realize they want a good man. Too late to ask for a good man after he went upside your head. Even if she was able to land a good man, he'd quickly get tired of her baggage; holding him responsible for the wrongs of her ex(es). So to all women who are in love with thugs: Since you want a thug so much, here's your icepack & crutches, plus gauze and some bandages and march right on over to Tyrone & Ray Ray. Don't think about coming back to the other side asking for a good man once he does you wrong. Too late, you should've gone for the stand-up guys who have their affairs in order.

Priorities

This is the same look I have on my face when people's priorities are out of order. These dudes will move heaven and earth for shoes but can't put that same energy into finding a job? Shakes Head, and they have the nerve to complain about being broke. What you value goes into how you handle business; remember that. For me, play comes after taking care of business. Even then, I may not want to have fun because I'm looking ahead to what I need to focus on next. Some people got life twisted. Besides, Jordan is re-releasing the SAME shoe! We need to do better. If not for ourselves, at least for the following generation because they are looking at US for guidance on how to handle business.

I Never Seen A Man Cry

Why is it easier for a man to open up to a woman? I've been thinking a lot about this subject and came up with an answer: Women have that nurturing nature that endears people to them so even the toughest of men will open up. Let a man show weakness in front of other men and it's like "What you crying for, man up, real men don't cry or show emotion, etc." I understand that men were raised to be tough & strong and I can respect that. A young man coming up, he's never seen his father shed tears or show any emotion so he grows up thinking being emotional is for the birds. It's understood that it's acceptable for a man to show emotion under the following circumstances: Loss Of A Loved One, walking his daughter down the aisle on her wedding day, seeing his baby born for the first time, etc. I feel like this, I'm one of the strongest men around so it would take A LOT for me to break down. A man holding it in is like a septic tank, keeping emotions/feelings bottled up creates a strong odor that can become unbearable.

Tit For Tat

After what number of dates should a woman offer to pay after she’s been out on a couple of dates with the same guy?

If he initiated the date, he should pay on the first two dates. Anything after that, they should go back & forth. If one person is doing all the giving and the other person is doing all the taking, that's NOT THE MOVE. That relationship is built on selfishness, like what you can do for me instead of what we can do for each other. That's the problem with relationships, one person wants to reap all the benefits without bringing nothing to the table. Relationships like that WILL NOT last because they are built on selfishness. Regardless of who initiated the date, to expect one person to put in all the work is ridiculous. The other person doing the receiving has nothing to bring to the table except their looks. For discerned men like myself, threatening not to give me sex isn't hurting me because unlike most men, I'm not thirsty. If a man is dropping $200 or more for dates on a woman he's probably not feeling, he's not very intelligent because who's to say if you spend $$$ on a woman, she'll be interested in you? You don't know. Ladies and Gentlemen, don't allow your mate to drive you broke.

Real Mother Daughter Porn Duo Interview / Jessica & Monica Sexxxton Perf...

When that fire & brimstone hits, Florida is FIRST IN LINE! Porn has been around since Biblical days. There are instances of incest mentioned in the Bible (Genesis 20:12, Exodus 6:20, 2 Samuel 13 to name a few). When I read this article on the internet, I couldn't do anything but shake my head. This country has sunk to a new low. Yes, the mother & daughter may not have close sexual contact (I doubt that) but the idea of a mom & daughter doing porn is sickening. You have some people who co-sign this behavior saying "What they do is their business, not yours" If you or anyone else co-signs this extreme ratchetness, you're just as guilty as they are. I guess these two bring a new perspective to "Like Mother, Like Daughter".

Wanting A Good Man

This was inspired by Greg Cross (a Facebook friend). It was so good I have to share:

Ladies! You pray that you want God to bless you with a God-Fearing Man but yet, you disrespect him by not allowing to lead the household & fight for control.

Ladies! You pray to God to give you a husband & someone you can have a future with, but still chasing after men who has no interest in you and/or you chasing after men who are players, thugs, cheaters, liars, dogs, & etc also along with them mistreating you, they mistreat you & you continue to see them as solid men.

Ladies! You pray for a good man, but still you put a good man on the backburner or in the friend zone because you are afraid of trying something that will benefit your future.

Ladies! You pray for a good man, but you walk around as if you do not need one telling yourself you do not need a man, & that you can do bad all by yourself. I got my own what do I NEED A MAN FOR?

Ladies! You pray for a good man but yet & still you do not believe in Black Fathers, nor will you allow yourself to let the Black Fathers be parents because you feel that you are the "Mother & Father".

Ladies! You pray for a good man but somehow you always have something negative to say about good men or men in general. Telling people that "Men ain't shit, It's some weak ass niggas out here, They can't handle a real strong woman like me(Black women say this alot) & etc.

Ladies! You pray for all these things & still have not gotten or have found a man to call your husband. Why is that? It's because due to you wanting to be the masculine one, trying to dominate everything, feeling that you are in control, telling men off when they try to help you, disrespecting the arrangement for marriage that God directed to be, chasing after men that are no good, blaming every man that you get with or left you because of your personal problems, having no respect for black fathers is the reason why you are out here still looking. UNTIL! you can get over the mental incapacity & the insecurities & disrespect that you have, & allowing what it was intended to be for women to be second in command & man first, & realizing that being submissive is not being controlled, but respecting the Godly arrangement, then you will have a husband.

My interpretation: To sum up what Greg stated, until ladies present themselves as relationship material, they have NO RIGHT to pray for a God-fearing man. A God-fearing man will never check for a woman that's not of sound moral character.

Prison=Badge Of Honor?

Since when did going to prison become a badge of honor? These dudes talking about I did 10 years in the pen for such & such crime, etc. These same guys cry about how they can't get a job, the white man is holding them down, etc. It never ends with these guys. Yes, we all have made/make mistakes but you learn from it the FIRST time. Even then, think about the repercussions before you go out and do something stupid. Is it worth it?

A Good Thing

To men who say it's hard to find a good woman:

I think it's mostly in two things: (1) Do you have a healthy perception of yourself because you will attract what you are and (2) Do you have a healthy perception of others because you will most often see what you expect to see.

There are millions of good single women out there. Literally. Focus on getting healthy through Christ first and good women will almost magically appear before your eyes.

While it's somewhat valid that a good woman is hard to find, women are having the same issue with finding a suitable man to call her soulmate. Men and women are in the same boat so both need to tighten up on this bickering.

Men: Shedding Tears For Women's Approval

Contrary to what many women say, they DO NOT respect or desire a man that shows emotion (cries). She may not say it, but deep down women want a thoroughbred man; one that knows how to be strong even when he's being hit with trial after trial in rapid succession. Being emotional is part of a woman's genetic makeup. Men are raised to be tough, hard, not let stuff get to them. Any man that cries in front of a woman is doing so to play up to her emotions. Women are suckers for emotional men.

CT School Massacre

In light of the CT school massacre, I'd like to send my condolences to all families affected by this horrible tragedy. May God comfort all hurting families in this time of bereavement (which he will). I may catch heat for what I'm about to say next but oh well, it needs to be said. When you take God out of schools, this is what happens. Until America gets back in line with God, we will continue having senseless tragedies like this. One Nation Under God? I can't tell. I'm almost ashamed to say this but it needs to be said: This is the devil's world and we're living in it. For instance, the Bible mentions the "wicked system of things" belonging to Satan the Devil.

The Most Insecure Women On The Planet!

Black women aren't only insecure, women in general are insecure. I will admit that Tommy makes valid points but it's mostly ranting & raving from his end. Tommy Sotomayor is an outspoken media personality who has pages on twitter, facebook and YouTube. I've never heard of him until now and this video caught my eye which is why I decided to share it. The rest of the video does the talking for me so I won't comment further.

Making A Way

Please learn this men & women. Putting the wrong person on your team is bound to create issues. You're trying to go somewhere and have something in life and the person your with wants to drag you down. It's a waste of time to have someone in your life that doesn't want better for you or themselves; might as well continue living single like you've been doing if that man/woman isn't going to improve your life. Nobody (myself included) has time for dead weight. What do you do when dead weight holds you down? You get rid of it. Some people are just that, dead weight. They are content with mediocrity and want to keep you at their level.

Make Up Your Mind/Bonus Material

Via Jeffrey Green (Facebook friend)-Women want a man to take care of them, yet they want to remain independent. That's like a man wanting a Wife that will understand he is still screwing other women. 

Honorable Mention: Give me one good non-selfish reason why a single man with NO children over 35 should want to marry a woman with children and raise them as his own? 

Bonus Material

It takes two to tango, but someone doesn't have to dance.

Nip It In The Bud

You're not supposed to have issues early on in marriage. If you're having problems before and during the engagement, they will likely get worse over the course of your marriage.

Ending A Relationship

At what point do you end a relationship? People who ask this question already know the answer. I have 3 giveaways of when it's time to exit stage left: 1. When you've done all you can to salvage it. In that case, let him/her go. No sense in looking crazy. 2. When you have to ask that question, it's that time. 3. The point of no return. For many people, the point of no return comes sooner rather than later.

Short & Sweet

Shout Out to all the parents who let their kid(s) rip & run in public, then catch feelings when other adults check their kid(s). Well, if you did your job as a parent, no one else would have to. That Part.

This Is The Mess I Don't Like

According to many black women, black men are deadbeats, down low, losers, thugs, lazy, uneducated, etc.What does that make her if she laying down with these men? We all make mistakes yes, but to make the same mistake over and over again; something's wrong.  These same women are having babies by these men and have the nerve to pass over stand-up brothers. When these women are done wrong, they want to look for a good man all of a sudden but by that time, that stand-up guy has moved on to a woman that will appreciate him for who he is, not what he has. 

5 Random Thoughts

1. Everybody has their cup out but didn't chip in. Simply put, you have your hand out but aren't willing to contribute to the outcome.

2. Are women trading their cooch on the New York Stock Exchange? You would think so with how they value it. "I have that good good to make a man never stray"

3. Chris Bosh scored a major victory in his custody battle with his baby mama. This cat claims Texas as an official residence instead of Florida because if he claimed Florida, he would have to fork out $30K a month for the next 15 years for his kid's child support.

4.I'm tired of men and women thinking they are entitled to this, that and the third. Get up, get out and make your own way in this world. You can legitimately need help but no one will give you a helping hand. At least when you make it, you can say you did it on your own.

5. Look out for #1 because no one else will (except God).

The Friend Zone

A woman puts a man in the friend zone, gets with Mr.Wrong and he dogs her out all kinds of crazy, comes to her senses and tries to look up Mr.Friend Zone only to realize he's moved on with someone else. This woman doesn't realize she's prepared him for the next woman. She's looking crazy because she missed out on what could be a beautiful relationship. The issue I see with women who put men in the friend zone is some women want to keep him as a back-up. When their current relationship isn't so hot, she comes to him for advice on their relationship. Her male friend knows the ins & outs of their relationship and this could be his chance to move in for the kill (there are some men who sit on the sidelines waiting for a chance to get in the game). Putting a man in the friend zone could be good or bad, depending on how you look at it. If a man gets in the friend zone, it's because she wasn't attracted to him in the first place, and if the other guy dogs her out, she just wants the other guy to comfort her and rebuild her ego. They also get put in the friend zone as a safety net or emergency jump off, typically the dude in the friend zone is the one they depend on, can call up and cry on their shoulder, will get out the bed and drive across town to see about you; he knows all your issues and gives you good advice, and comes through for you; hes reliable. Now if that doesn't sound like a good man for her, I don't know what does. She doesn't have to be attracted to him, but he displays the other attributes that make him a great catch. These attributes are the same ones women seek in a potential mate. Mr. Friend Zone could be the best thing for her but she would never know because she put him in just that, the FRIEND ZONE.

Ne-Yo - Let Me Love You (Until You Learn To Love Yourself)

Is he being realistic? Is Ne-Yo misleading people to think this will happen? I didn't watch the video. I have been hearing the song on the radio and the gag reflex got started up. Drivel I tell ya!!! This is 2012 and I really don't think anyone is going to attempt to heal someone who is broken no matter how in love they are with them or what they see as potential in a mate. Let's be honest, no one is patient enough to fix a damaged person. If someone's damaged, no amount of love can bring him/her back unless they get the help they need to become whole again. It takes a special person to work with a damaged person, to the point of wanting to build a relationship with them. Honestly I couldn't do it BUT...if I feel she was worth it, I possibly could. She would have to show serious growth because I don't have time to go back & forth. We're all broken to a degree; question is who's healing themselves enough that you want to help? Unfortunately, not many people are into healing themselves because they're on some "this is how I was when you met me so stop trying to fix me" craziness. For the people who depend on others to fix them: It's not their job to fix you. You should fix yourself. Why depend on someone to do for you what you CAN & SHOULD do for yourself? There's more pride in getting where you want to be on your own than depending on someone because in a way, you can say you did that. I feel like this, a man can love a woman all he wants but if she doesn't love herself, it's useless.

Secretive Adoption

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2242567/Terry-Achane-Married-fathers-horror-wife-places-baby-adopted-Frei-family-telling-him.html

Shakes Head. This article has me fuming because how could a woman be so foul as to place her child up for adoption without discussing it with her husband? Yes, he was deployed but that gave her no excuse. Stories like this are why custody laws need to be revisited & revised because it seems like a woman can be the most  unfit parent and the courts will always rule in her favor. I guess it pays to be a woman huh? To know you've got the legal system in your back pocket, all she needs is a few well-placed stories and boom, the legal system is stupid enough to fall for her stories. In the story, one couple was having marital problems because Ms. Bland suggested having an abortion and he wouldn't stand for it. Their marriage could not have been that bad to where she wants an abortion; there has to be more to the story. If her husband was opposed to the abortion, that should've been the end of it. Carry the child to term and figure out where to go from there. I guess women feel like they have all say so in what to do with a baby since they're the ones carrying. Last I checked, she couldn't get pregnant by herself (she had help) so she should've discussed this with her husband. The husband's a drill instructor who took a job out of town. Unbeknownst to him, his lady went behind his back and put the child up for adoption. The couple that adopted the child say the adopted baby is theirs and they won't give it up without a fight. Make it so bad, she gave the courts fake contact information so the husband couldn't track her down to inquire about his child's welfare; basically she gave him and the courts the run-around. Stories like this are why men need to be CAREFUL who they lay down with because you don't know. You don't know what that woman's moral character is like because as evidenced in this story, some women are very spiteful and will pull stunts like this. I can only imagine how irate the husband is going to be when he comes back only to find out his child isn't there. If my wife (soon to be ex-wife, after she pulled this) pulled this crap, best believe I would be hot. Little does she know that I would already have a tracking system in place so that I would know where my child is at all times. You can't trust nobody (even your man or wife). I'm glad the father won his case but the longer this drags out, the less time he has with his child. You can't get back time lost with your child. At least he's fighting hard to see his child because in situations like this, most men would feel if the mother wants to be spiteful and keep him from his child(ren), that's her problem and not his. The problem with that logic is this: That child will grow up one day and by the time he comes around, it will be too late because that child will be living their own life. They will get used to not having their dad around to the point of indifference. If he's there, good. If not, oh well. Life Goes On.

Facebook hiatus/Miami vacation

I first joined Facebook on March 21, 2008. Since that time I've been on FB nonstop for 4 years straight. No breaks, nada. I've met wonderful people on Facebook and continue to do so. I've even come across people I used to go to school with. I guess it's true what people say: You come up on familiar faces all the time on Facebook. Last week I decided to take a FB hiatus because as with everything, Facebook can beome very addicting. I'm in Miami, Florida as we speak enjoying this beautiful weather and taking in the city. Facebook is the last thing on my mind if I'm in Miami. Think about it, when you break away from your favorite leisure activities, you have more time to focus on what's important. You can use that time to work on a few of your goals, improve yourself, etc. Makes me wonder why I didn't do this hiatus sooner. Since my time in Miami, I've been all over the city (yes, even the hood side of Miami. The hood has some historical spots and some of the most awesome soul food around). From South Beach to Overtown on up to Opa-Locka/Miami Gardens, I've been all over Miami. I'm digging Miami so much I'm not sure I want to come back to Tallahassee, lol. All good things must come to an end so in a roundabout way, I'm looking forward to coming back to Tallahassee so I can pick up where I left off. Best believe I'm returning to Miami because there's no city like it. The international flavor & cuisine, attractive women, palm trees & blue skies, shopping, nightlife, etc. No wonder people from other cities drive for miles just to come get a taste of MIA. I never knew how rewarding a hiatus can be which makes me wonder why I didn't do it sooner. Everyone needs a break at some point, myself included. What better way to break away from Facebook than a Miami vacation?

A Happy Wife Is A Happy Life?

A Happy Wife Is A Happy Life, True Or False? It depends on the person he's with. It's true if a man's woman is appreciative of him but false if she's not. If a woman is appreciative of how hard her man tries to keep her satisfied, then he will have no problem moving heaven & earth to please her. If a woman nitpicks over everything, then her spouse will not put forth as much effort to keep his woman happy because he knows she won't appreciate it. This phrase is one of those quips women use to get their husbands to do whatever she wants, even when he has good reason to refuse. With most men lacking spine, she gets her way. Honestly, I don't buy that "A Happy Wife Is A Happy Life" statement because a man can do everything in his power to please his wife and it's not enough. She will always have something to say about how this, that and the third could've been done better, she wouldn't have done it this way, etc. If it's that important to you, do it yourself. This is why many men are reluctant to get married, unappreciative women. Can you blame them? Why would any man want to marry someone that won't appreciate him? That's silly. When a woman says A Happy Wife Is A Happy Life, red flags go up for me because that says she wants him to do any and everything to please her without reciprocity. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for moving heaven & earth to keep a woman happy but in doing so, I want to know she will appreciate it. In being appreciative of me going the extra mile for her, I have no problem doing what a good man should, and that's pleasing his lady. What one man won't do, another man will (that goes double for women). A Happy Wife Is A Happy Life is valid if a woman's appreciative of her man keeping her happy, not in the big things but the small things. The phrase is false if no matter what a man does, it's not good enough for her. She finds fault in any & everything and wonders why her man checks out. A man will always go where he's appreciated.

Respecting Your Elders

I prefer hanging around elders because of the wisdom they have. Face it, young people don't know how to be serious. They think life is about having fun when that's not the case. Usually, older people are established and have stopped playing games. They don't see a need to relive their youth because in their eyes, they had all the fun they can stand so they usually settle down. Young people just don't have the life experience of older folks so that's why I gravitate towards them. Elderly people will always tell you that back in their generation, life was more simple. People actually had respect for each other. Elderly people lived through the Civil Rights Era/racial injustice, great depression, riots, etc. These young bucks couldn't last a day in old folks' generation. Don't get me wrong, there are young people that have their stuff together but that's because they were taught well. What young person you know has their stuff together that wasn't schooled well by the elders in their family? *Crickets* That's why even though I'm 32, I'm old-fashioned in my thinking and I'm not sorry for it. You can learn a lot about life from elderly people, which is why I respect them to the fullest. Ask an elderly person anything, and 9 times out of 10, they know what to say because they've been down that road I'm traveling. Many times, they know what does and doesn't work so I take their direction into consideration.

The End Of Hostess

http://www.thebarrieexaminer.com/2012/11/21/twinkies-bakers-say-theyd-rather-lose-jobs-than-take-pay-cuts

Normally I don't do twice a day blog commentaries but this one caught my eye. As you guys know, Hostess, the company that makes Twinkies has gone bankrupt so they were forced to shut down. As I read the article further, many bakers were fed up with management forcing them to take pay cuts while management gives themselves enormous raises. That's how the business world usually works, the little guy suffers while the execs pockets are unaffected. That's not right so in a way I can understand the rationale behind the workers stance. Some people haven't had raises in 3 years or more and probably have had their pay cut once and to ask them to take ANOTHER pay cut is ridiculous. This is the type of economy graduates have to look forward to and it breaks my heart. At the same time, it's not smart to quit a job without having another job lined up. I remember a company in bad times telling their workers, you will have to suffer with me, and when our company is doing better, we all benefit from it. The workers worked hard for less pay, no one was laid off and when times got better, workers were given more money for their dedication to the company. Now the attitudes are different, companies don't give a crap about their workers, and workers don't give a crap about the company. No one works together. This is how companies fail. Bring back management working with labor, bring back the good ole work ethic and bring back loyalty between companies and employees, We need to work together or we will all surely fail.

Once Upon A Time

Once Upon A Time, women preferred strong men. Strong Men were seen as ideal because they could provide and protect their family. Nowadays, the tide has turned and now women seek out emotional men; men who cry just as much as, if not more than them. These women don't want strong men because a strong man will not put up with his woman's foolishness. A strong man will lay the law down when necessary and if he won't allow his woman to get her way, she starts pouting like a spoiled 2-year old. Women prefer emotional men so they can henpeck him. If a man is henpecked, he will cater to his woman 24-7 even if it means he bites his tongue when he has reason to speak up. A strong man is quick to tax his woman if she gets out of pocket. Why wouldn't some women want emotional men? He uses well placed tears and boom, he's got her right where he wants her. Men know how to play up to women in order to gain their favor. A man doesn't have to be emotional but if a woman likes an emotional guy, that's what he gives her and she falls for it. Discernment IS NOT women's strong point so that's why men are able to easily get over on women. Men are constantly adapting their strategy to suit women's desires, kind of like how a chameleon changes to suit his environment. If a woman told her weak man to eat dog food, he'd do it because he doesn't want her to go off. SO? Let her flip out! It seems like men have gotten soft over time. By the same token, strong women are rarely, if ever attracted to weak men. I'm not saying a man can't be emotional because if he feels the need to show emotion, go ahead but to be emotional 24-7 is too much. I can't stand to see men jump through hoops for women that aren't checking for them.

Thanksgiving Day

Thanksgiving Day Is Upon Us. A time for celebrating friends & family and of course, grubbing on turkey, dressing, macaroni & cheese, cranberry sauce, etc. Every year I watch the parades on TV (Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York, plus other assorted festivals in various cities) and enjoy the fellowship with family and friends. For some people, Thanksgiving isn't so wonderful due to family warfare and personal losses. My  heart goes out to everyone that through no fault of their own, won't be able to enjoy Thanksgiving with their family. I especially want to send a shout out to all our military servicemen & women who are holding it down for our country overseas, those folks deserve the ultimate thanks because if it weren't for them, we wouldn't have the freedoms we do. Aside from that, I want to wish all my FB people a Happy Thanksgiving and eat good, because I plan on doing so, then going extra hard in the gym to burn it all off. Just recently I started helping prepare Thanksgiving dinner because that's part of my self-sufficiency, being able to act the fool in the kitchen like my parents. If I do have a family, they're going to know their dad is a kitchen beast. Because of my intense workout regimen, I have an excuse to eat good for Thanksgiving Day because I know I'll put on solid muscle which allows me to push more weight in the gym. I can't get mad  at the leftovers. I have enough leftovers to last me a couple weeks to a month, which is good because sometimes you don't feel like cooking every day and it's easier if you have leftovers because all you do is reheat and eat.

Balancing Work & Family

At times, it's impossible to balance family and work due to conflicting demands. Either your family will demand more of your time or your job will; you cannot have it both ways. One is bound to suffer. If you put your family first, your job will suffer and vice versa. The key is finding a supportive spouse that understands your rationale for putting in extra hours on the job so you can make sure they're straight. A man's job is to provide for his family and part of provision means you have to take advantage of overtime opportunities or extra income opportunities. After all, he's doing it for the family. Women need to stop running guilt trips on their man because if the money wasn't coming in, she would be upset about that but when the money coming in, she doesn't say anything (by right she shouldn't). At least he has a job because most men don't work. If a man works too much, his woman gets pissed and wants him home more; If he's not making enough, she wants him to step his finance game up. Damned if you do and don't with some women. Did it ever occur to some women that the reason why their man may spend more time at work than with her is because she NAGS too much? *Crickets* No man wants to come home to a motormouth. I said all that to say this: You can't always balance work & family because one is bound to suffer. I got the idea from Sweetie Pie's (a show that comes on at 9pm Saturdays on OWN). Tim and Jenae are supposed to get married, but that's on hiatus due to Tim's busy schedule. Jenae gets pissed because she feels Tim doesn't have his priorities straight.

Arguments Are Counterproductive

 Arguments are counterproductive to a relationship. The reason being is that both sides are trying to prove their case instead of coming to a mutual agreement or at best, agreeing to disagreeing. When you have a man and woman who stands their ground, you're bound to have conflict because neither side wants to admit being wrong because in their eyes, it's weakness. The best remedy is to get someone who is borderline agreeable but has their own mind. They don't have to co-sign everything you say and do but they should understand that you two can have tough conversations without screaming & cussing. When a woman doesn't get her way in a relationship, she gets to acting like a spoiled brat: Throwing verbal tantrums (including but not limited to screaming & cussing, low blows, deflection, belligerence, etc.) and silent treatment. Most men aren't phased by their woman giving them the silent treatment because to him, he doesn't have to hear her mouth and the less he has to hear her whine, the better. Where are the women who DON'T like to argue? There must be a woman that's mature enough to discuss issues in a rational manner. If you have to "argue" in order to have a healthy relationship, that's sad and those women will not receive consideration from me. These women want to be right and refuse to bend, but expect the man to do all the giving & taking. Ladies, a man's word is FINAL. Everything isn't always up for debate. Women are used to dealing in emotions, men are not. Most men will avoid confrontation at all costs; many men will confront when necessary.

Looking Deeper

A woman's heart should be so deep in God, a man seeks HIM to find her. That would be true if she was worth the pursuit but in today's climate, most women aren't wifeable so there's no incentive for men to give chase. Even if she was worthy, many men don't have the patience because some women make men move heaven & earth to prove himself worthy to her. Here's the problem as I see it: Women who use the aforementioned statement are trying to portray themselves as a great catch when they know deep down, they aren't. Everyone wants to portray themselves in the best possible light so people can look favorably upon us. That may work for a while but eventually the truth will come out and when it does, you're looking crazy and those so-called "fans" you had will start disintegrating. If you're going to quote, at least be able to back up what you quote. If a woman says her heart is so deep in God, a man must seek him to find her, then she better portray herself as a Godly woman.

Giving The Benefits=No Commitment

We've all heard the phrase "Why Buy The Cow When You Can Get The Milk For Free?" It means if you're giving it up to someone with no commitment, you can't expect marriage from them. Sad to say, but it's the truth. If someone's giving you husband/wife benefits, why would you want to marry them? If you're like some people, there's no incentive because they're already giving you the benefit without a commitment. Some women don't know their worth so they feel in order to keep a man, they have to give it up. That may work on some men but not stand-up guys like myself and other likeminded men. I like to earn the benefits, not have them handed to me because there's no honor in that. Knowing I earned something makes me appreciate it more because of the work it took for me to achieve it. If a woman is willing to give it up to me without requiring a commitment, I have to pass on her because that tells me she doesn't value herself and is probably willing to give it up for free to other men. Men are just as guilty of this because you have some men who are so thirsty that they'll bonk any woman with a hole. You have women who apply the same logic to men; if he's giving it up to her for free and she doesn't want to commit, why should/would she? She's benefiting without a commitment. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? If you want the milk, you have to buy the cow. You can't have one without the other.

Shortage Of Good Black Women: A Brother's Perspective

Black women complain about a shortage of good black men? Well, after reading this letter there's more of a shortage of quality black women as evidenced in this letter. Here's the letter I cut & pasted from a mutual Facebook friend's wall: 

Shortage. Remember that word guys, shortage? As in inadequate, sorry, gay, criminal and unworthy. Black women have been whining about a shortage for almost 20 years now. They have pretty much complained about some of us, and insulted the rest of us, and they have done it with little to no remorse what-so-ever. I'm going to take this time to express the shortage that I and men like myself have to experience when considering black women as mates. I'm not talking to Thugs, those worthless pieces of filth are lucky anyone is dumb enough to give them the time of day. No, I'm talking about serious, strong, responsible hard working black men, who expect the best in women they choose to date. I'm going to take this post to express the "shortage" in marriageable black women that us black men experience.

Children. It is a fact that well over 70% of single black women have children out of wedlock, on average 2 children by 2 different men. In other words, starting your own family from scratch with a black woman, is about as hard as finding a needle in a hay stack. Believe it or not ladies, not all black men are cool with raising other mens' children, especially 2 or more.

Prison. Black women are the fastest growing prison demographic. Not black men, black women. It is a stat that white male dominated media chooses to keep their own little secret. Men like myself don't want convicts and criminal women for mates anymore than you do ladies.

Education. For every educated black woman there's a ton of illiterate hood rats. Should I pursue these tired hood rat women who no doubt exhibit every quality that makes it a shortage of black women in the first place? Should I convince myself that I have some chemistry with them, chemistry that I know I don't have with hood rats? I don't think so, it's a colossal waste of time for me and other black men with standards.

Weight. Yeah, I know this is a sore subject for black women, but it is a real issue. The fact that 80% of black women are either overweight or obese is alarming if you are considering them for dating and marriage. True, weight is a problem for many people, but black women are the only group with 80% of its population being overweight and obese. No matter what these black magazines that are geared toward black women's mentality may tell you, men are visual creatures, and most of us would not choose an overweight female over a woman that takes care of her body, no more than most black women would choose a broke black guy over one with money. Real talk ladies, 80% is just ridiculous, and to believe men (black, white, red, or yellow) who work hard enough to be able to pick and chose women would ignore healthy in shape women and pursue "big girls" instead, is just unrealistic and lazy.

There it is, if your a black woman, and this pisses you off, SO WHAT! Black men have had our collective faults publicly put on blast by black women for decades now.

Using Your Assets

Women complain that men objectify them; well when you have your T&A out for the world to see, what you expect? Men respect women who respect themselves, period. If a woman portrays herself as a floozy, men will treat her as such. So, if a woman wants to be regarded in high esteem, she needs to conduct herself as such. The reason why women use their booty to catch men is because MEN fall for it. Some men act like they've never seen booty before so that's why they go hog wild over a chick with an ample posterior. I'm not excusing the ladies because they should have enough self-worth to know they don't have to show their butt in order to get a man. Until men learn how to look deeper in getting to know a woman and ladies tighten up on their self-worth, this mess will always be an issue. Men and Women are at fault here because women wouldn't feel a need to dress provocatively if men didn't howl and whistle like horndogs. If you're a man and you ooga booga, catcall or do whatever childish thing men do when they see an attractive woman, you've never seen attractive women before so you react in a juvenile manner. I expect catcalling from 16-year old boys not GROWN MEN. Same applies to the ladies; see a tall, buff man and they lose their minds. There are better ways to find what you're looking for and dressing like a hoochie isn't one of them. If by chance, a loose woman does attract a good man, he's probably going to play up to her to get sex, then leave her. That's the oldest trick in the book; men have been using that strategy for ages and it has yet to fail. Tell her what she wants to hear so she can give up the poontang pie and bam, he's probably long gone. I said all that to say this: Showing up with the booty....DOESNT MAKE U WIFABLE...LADIES...PLEASE LEARN THIS!!!!

**GOT CHARACTER???**

Why Have A President?

Do most people realize that the approval rating for Congress generally ranges from only 10-20%??

I want to make a formal apology to George W. Bush. NOT because I support him -- never that! But I truly realize now that he couldn't screw up the country without the help of the Congress. NO PRESIDENT - INCLUDING BUSH - has enough power to fix, screw up, or approve much in this country BY THEMSELVES. It's not a One-Man Show folks!! Bush was being used as a puppet by folks like Karl Rove and Dick Cheney. Although probably a good man (which I hadn't always believed), Bush was just one man who surrendered his backbone to special interests. And America's prosperity was sacrificed in the end because of that. He didn't mess up alone, is my point. So ALL of the blame cannot go on him. ALL of the blame cannot NOW go onto President Obama either. The republicans in Congress vowed to make this man a "one-term President" before he even spent ONE DAY in office and vowed to say "Hell No" to pretty much EVERYTHING he wanted to do no matter how good it might be for our Nation. Putting your Politics before your People is the biggest reason why this country is going backwards, is broke, and is bitterly divided. Congress is absolutely horrible. Useless. No matter the party! And again, I sincerely hope that BOTH SIDES are going to work to actually FIX things this time. Or we are doomed. What's the point of electing a president if the PRESIDENT doesn't really have any power? I mean, Congress is calling the shots telling him what & what not to do so when you think about it, there's no need for a President of the US.

Stereotypes In Politics

This was inspired by Jeannine Carswell, an intelligent Facebook friend of mine: (courtesy of Jeannine Carswell): I don't agree with everything the Democrats do. They can stand to make some improvements of their own. But I've got to tell you...

My Biggest Issue with the Republican Party is this false (and long-held) belief many of them have that most Black People are on welfare or stay getting Food Stamps. They aren't saying that a PORTION of us are doing this, they think that MOST of us are doing that! A disgusting LIE that Fox News and the like keep spewing to their gullible followers. I mean this UPSETS me. 

Just to give an example: Let's just say that 2 in 10 Blacks are on Welfare. The other 8 people work and do NOT receive Assistance. WHY would you stereotype and mistreat the other 8 in 10 Black People and lump them in with the "welfare queens"? How are the 8 being lazy leaches if they are working??? If a young black female works at McDonald's full-time she is NO MORE of a bum than the white lady who works full-time as a WAITRESS at the Waffle House. But the white lady at the Waffle House has convinced herself that she should vote Republican because BLACK & LATINO PEOPLE ARE HER BIGGEST ENEMY and THEY are why she isn't better off in life. That is an insane mindset!! If anything, you have a lot more IN COMMON with that black lady you are hating on! Rich white republicans don't care about the poor white republicans who support them in elections. That's why it's quite laughable to see you two joining forces. If you are a beer-drinking, jean-wearing, no-healthcare-having, working-class white dude....YOU have NOTHING in common with Mitt Romney but your white skin!!! This is why Blacks & Latinos sit back in utter confusion looking at this! 

There are more white people on Welfare than ANY other group. Get your facts right! And MANY people of all backgrounds have had no choice but to get Food Stamps in the past decade -- not because of their RACE but because of the RECESSION. Not every Black Person that has received Food Stamps in their life is an "abuser" of the system! Until you can stop allowing yourself to be a Hateful Puppet for a party that doesn't care about either YOU OR ME....you will ALWAYS be misled and you will always be labeled racist for those views that you are holding because they are based on LIES. 

Do a lot of black dudes rob banks? Well...that depends on if you're willing to admit that many white dudes are pedophiles. Guess we all can stereotype huh?

This is what I think: A few people can & will mess it up for everyone. Is it right? No, because there are people that truly need the help and will use public assistance to get back on their feet, which is what public assistance was intended for. Yes, you have leeches that make it a lifestyle but to make it hard on everyone is foul.

Division

I'm starting to believe that division is a part of life. Think about it, you have Rich vs. Poor, Christian vs. Atheist, Healthy vs. Sick, Black vs. White and the list goes on and on. Read what a good friend posted on her Facebook page: (courtesy of Jeannine Carswell): All this talk going on about the President & the Congress "finally coming together". I pray that they actually do join forces to get more done. The People come First, NOT your politics!! 

Not only are we divided into Red & Blue -- we are divided young VS. old...Black VS. White VS. Latino VS. Other....Women VS. Men...Compassionate Christian VS. Greedy Christian VS. Atheist. 

Well is this nonsense going to stop or what?! If not, I seriously fear a SECOND Civil War to come for the good old USA pretty soon.

My $.02: Now is the time for everyone to come together and stop all this foolishness. Obama won twice, get over it. Join up with the Commander In Chief so we can make this the best nation in the world.

Vegas Employer: Obama Won–So I Fired 22 Employees « CBS Las Vegas

Vegas Employer: Obama Won–So I Fired 22 Employees « CBS Las Vegas

It's important to have a Plan B because life throws detours your way. Some detours will help you reach your goal faster and others may temporary delay you onto your desired path. I read an article that said a business owner fired 22 employees due to Obama's re-election and I was pissed because that's a form of extortion. The owner's rationale was that he spent years looking out for his employees and with Obama being re-elected, he was going to raise taxes causing him to take drastic measures to keep his business afloat. Whether these employees were slackers or top performers remains to be seen but the bottom line is that employees are the lifeblood of ANY business. Employees make the company succeed and especially if you have top-tier talent, why would you lay off your best employees? That's dumb. Always, ALWAYS have a Plan B even if you think you don't or won't need it. Better to have Plan B and not need it then not have it and need it. Nowadays, job security is non-existent. You can't guarantee your job as your sole income source. Even more ridiculous that some states are right to work, meaning you can be fired for any or no reason. If an employer doesn't like you, BOOM..you're fired. Shakes Head. It's sad that the business world has degenerated into dog-eat-dog. The sad thing is like my dude Norm said, so many people walk around thinking they're going to keep the same job 20, 30+years and when they get that pink slip, it hits them like a ton of bricks. To these people I say: Where Was Your Plan B? Did you have other income streams lined up just in case that job went under?

To Be Continued...

Where Do We Go From Here?

The Election Is Over, FINALLY. This election season has been ugly based on the craziness and hateful rhetoric spewed by the Rethuglicans. From Romney catering to the rich to Richard Murdock's comment about abortion, I shook my head at the lengths some people will go to gain presidency. Where Do We Go From Here? Now that Obama has a 2nd term, he's able to enact his strategy for America. Every elected president has spent his first 4 years cleaning up the previous administration's mess. When Obama first got in office, his first 4 years were spent trying to clean up Bush's mess and with a 2nd term, Obama can focus on doing what HE wants. I hope the Democrats and Republicans can come together and stop the bickering. It's time for both parties to come together for the good of America. I do believe Clinton played a major role in Obama's re-election because he was schooling Obama on what to say/not say, do/not do, etc. Clinton endorsing Obama was one of the factors that put him over with citizens. I have to be real, Romney slit his throat too many times. First, the 47% comment. Second, he was talking about cutting Obamacare, the Pell Grant, Social Security, Medicare, etc. Third, Romney put his foot in his mouth too many times and Fourth, his policies were designed for the 1% to benefit. As a candidate, you have to reach out to ALL PEOPLE, not just the 1%. Obama is not only the first black US president, but the first black US president to be elected TWICE. Obama and Romney need to work together from this day forward because after all, they are passionate about the United States. Obama let people know where he stood from Day 1, he never changed his stance on important issues. Romney flip-flopped too much and if you're trying to become President, you cannot waiver in your stance.

Act Like A Ho, Go To Church On Sunday

Every pastor has touched on this topic in some form. No matter what church you go to, sometimes the pastor will call out wayward believers about their conduct outside the church. Pastors' favorite issue is Christians in the club. Biblically, Christians are forbidden from nightclubs because that environment arouses sinful desires (Ephesians 4:17-24, 1 Thessalonians 5:22,"Abstain from all appearance of evil."). So why do some women feel that going to church makes them a good catch? They figure since they're getting close to God, it gives them a pass to say and do whatever. I 100% agree that no one's perfect (myself included), but just because women outnumber men in church doesn't give them a pass to act loose the other 5 days. I went to a number of churches that featured women who acted & dressed like floozies but are the first ones to correct someone else about their shortcomings. If you're going to call someone out, make sure you have no skeletons in your closet. I feel that church women should be held to a higher standard than worldly women, especially if they are seeking a man who also loves God. If God sends the right man in a woman's life and he notices she's more worldly than secular women, he's turned off from her and go the other way; rightfully so. You never know who's watching so it's important for Christian women to conduct themselves accordingly. I said all that to say this: Ladies, just because you outnumber men in church doesn't make you a great catch. Hoes go to church too, especially since they need forgiveness for doing God knows what in the club Friday and Saturday Night.

I Want You All To Myself

It never ceases to amaze me that when people get married, they're automatically supposed to stop hanging with their friends. Newsflash, your friends were there before that man or woman so to give them up for your man or woman is sorry. Where was your so-called man/woman when you needed someone to talk to? NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. If a man is spending more time with his friends than his woman, the problem is HER because a woman is supposed to give her man a reason to rush home after a long day at work. A man's castle is supposed to be his place of peace. Men face enough outside the home but to come home and deal with more craziness from his so-called "helpmate" is foul. Flipping the script, if a woman dreads going home to her man, he failed as a mate. If your mate expects you to cut off your friend base and devote every hour to him or her, that's a red flag. I wouldn't expect my lady to spend every minute with me (unless that's her choice and even then, I'd need some ME time) nor should she expect me to spend all my time with her. The two just aren't possible in today's world. Having outlets is healthy.

Richard's Gospel

Sermon 1: You can't expect someone to give you the world when you don't have a passport.

Sermon 2: I'm sick & tired of women saying all men are dogs. If she lays down with him & has his children, what does that make her? That's like saying you don't like ice cream but you eating it.

Sermon 3: Marriage is going to be extinct due to cohabitation. Very few people get married nowadays and why should they? About half of marriages end in divorce and of that percentage, the Christian divorce rate is about the same or higher than the secular world. You have couples shacking up and enjoying the benefits of husband & wife without the committment. Shacking Up is the new marriage.

Sermon 4: Ladies, if you're going to pose in the bathroom, PLEASE make sure it's clean. Nothing worse than looking at a lady posing in front of the mirror in the bathroom and the place is filthy. SMH!

Sermon 5: Shout Out to all the so-called independent women who don't need a man but they get public assistance or try to put their deadbeat dad up for child support. You independent, make it happen for yourself.

Sermon 6: Men need to stop being Superman to damaged women. It's not his responsibility to heal a woman's hurts. She should've taken time out for herself before getting into another relationship. I can't stand to see brothers play superhero to damaged women. The thing is, these women are playing these guys by having him do this, that and the third for her so he can gain her approval. Being a superhero to a damaged woman is the ultimate form of simping.

Sermon 7: Truth & Facts don't cater to us, we cater to truth & facts. However the truth comes, it's on us to accept it or we will look crazy.

Sermon 8: Beware of women who say "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" These women want the green light to talk crazy to a man and he not check her. A real man isn't going to let his woman talk crazy to him, not unless he's weak.

Sermon 9: Most men don't care about a woman's education. All many men care about is whether she's wife material, can cook, hold intelligent conversation and have good moral character.

Sermon 10: Mention Men's Issues, you get Amens and Hallelujahs. Mention women's issues, you get deflection, combativeness and the classic "he hates his mother, he's gay, etc." That's soooo tired. Please Cut This Out.

Sermon 11: Only God Can Judge Me. When we continue in our ratchet ways, that's what he's doing/will do.

Sermon 12: Asking about finances on the first date is a no-no. Get to know the person and not their pockets (or lack thereof).

Sermon 13: There Is No Such Thing as Unconditional Love Because Too Many People Are Out For Self.

Sermon 14: A man should be ashamed of himself for allowing another man to raise HIS children. The child(ren) will hold their stepfather in higher regard than their own father, and that's sad. That's what happens when men decide to be deadbeats.

Sermon 15: A woman of poor moral character is not deserving of a good man and a man of poor character isn't deserving of a good woman. Be the person you want to attract.

Sermon 16: People should look out for #1 because the way companies are laying off folks left and right, better do like I and many others did and jump on the self employment train. You can't get laid off from a good internet income program.

Sermon 17 (Last Sermon Of The Day): A MAN does whatever it takes to provide for his family.

Some Things I Will Never Understand Pt. 2

Life is tough enough but to have a debilitating condition makes life 10x harder because you didn't ask for a disability. Most disabilities are genetic/hereditary so they come through no fault of your own. Couples NEED to do their homework on their family's health history to find out if there are disabilities or health conditions that run in the family and if so, they need to reconsider having a child. No child should have the odds stacked against them, EVERY child should be born healthy so I think it's foul that some children are born healthy and others are born with birth defects/disabilities. (some children are multi-disabled having more than one disability). This is what happens when you live in a fallen world. You can pray that God gives you a healthy child with no disabilities (and he will) but some things happen that are out of our control. Yes, I'm inspired by people who don't let their disability stop them from doing big things but deep down, they want to be whole and if they don't, they're lying. Break The Cycle! If disabilities run in your family, why would you have a child knowing he/she would inherit that condition? Genetics can be a blessing & curse. Conversely, people don't realize how blessed they are because there's someone that would love to be in their shoes.

Relationship Investment

Any smart investor looking to invest in a corporation does their due diligence. They ask the hard questions like "What's my return on investment? Why should I invest in your company as opposed to the others? How does your company stack up against its competitors?" Investors ask these tough questions because they want a return on their investment, which is $$$. If I'm pouring millions into a company then I have a right to ask tough questions because I don't want my money to go to waste. Relationships work the same way. When getting to know a person, you start off with basic conversation like name, where you're from, what are your hobbies, etc. Those are filler questions to get the ball rolling but as you dig deeper, you find out who a person is by how they think. Relationships should be looked at according to business. What is my Return On Investment? Nobody wants to invest in someone that's not going to generate residual income. Men, think of women as potential investments: What value can she add to your life that doesn't already exist? Why should you choose her over the others? Ladies, same thing. If you're investing time into him and you're not getting the right return, get rid of him and find someone that will give you the right return for your investment (which would be time). In a relationship sense, residual income refers to seeing the person blossom into what they're going for. If he wants to be successful, you encourage him to go hard for his and when he makes it, he remembers those who helped him along the way and want them to shine with him.

Why Keep Up With The Jones If They're Broke?

Keeping Up With The Jones is a term used to describe people who try to get the latest clothes & gadgets. The people you try to keep up with probably make more money than you and are debt free so that's why they can splurge like they do. If your income is limited, you can't spend money like water. You can but you'll pay for it later in worrying about how you're going to pay this bill & that bill. I want to splurge from time to time but if my money won't allow it and I have bills due, I do the responsible thing and take care of bills first, then if there's anything left over, I either splurge on that or save because you never know when emergencies are going to come up. I keep $10-$20 for emergencies. Keeping Up With The Jones is almost like imitation because you see someone with a new car, you go out and get a newer ride; someone upgrades their home, you do the same and so on. It never ends. Be content with what you have. If you have a car and home that's paid off, keep those items for the simple fact they are PAID FOR. Why go back into debt if you don't have to? Doesn't make sense to me. Material posessions don't define me because the way I see it: As long as I can get nice clothes at a discount and have a nice car that's paid for while making good money, that's enough for me. I don't need to drive luxury vehicles or live in grand mansions. All I want to do is live comfortable and I'm fine with that. Keeping Up With The Jones has never been my thing. They can have the country club dues, the $10,000+ mortgage per month. With what most wealthy people pay in club dues and other expenses, I could take that money and invest in high-risk/high return stocks, mutual funds or invest in real estate. Here's a couple scenarios to illustrate how people try to Keep Up With The Jones:

Scenario 1: The Jones have a 5 br 3 ba home with a 3 car garage a boat an RV, 2 Seadoos and 3 ATV, They have a Benz, and Audi, and a Beamer. You think they are doing well? Mrs. Jones has $3 in her coach wallet in her coach purse while Mr. Jones has nothing in his Kenneth Cole Wallet.

The 3 American Express cards, the 2 Visas, the Mastercard, and the Discover are maxed out

The only way the Discover card gets paid is from the cash back check they get every month.

Scenario 2: Mrs Jones must shop, get her hair and nails done. Mr. Jones must golf and pay country club dues.

At first glance, it may look good to keep up with the Jones', but if your money isn't right, you'll pay for it later  in the form of worrying about how you'll meet your monthly bills. Too many people try to ball out of control which results in misplaced priorities.

The Two Faces Of Miami

Why are the worst areas of cities considered "real"? This documentary is symbolic of every major city in the US. The good side of major cities are promoted heavily while the hellholes are hidden, causing inner-city residents to make documentaries showing people that their city isn't posh like the media portrays. I see both sides of the fence because while you want to sell your city to attract visitors, you also want to let potential residents and tourists know what areas to stay away from. The above documentary isn't exclusive to Miami, every major city has a similar documentary about their city being misrepresented in the media. If people are relocating to a city, they need to know the good & bad so they can make an informed decision.

Not Checking In=Cheating?

Why do women think that because a man doesn't check in with her he's cheating? He's your man, not your Parole Officer. That's childish. As long as he hasn't given her a reason to cheat, she should trust him enough to continue coming home to her. If not, she's not doing her job. If a man isn't itching to come home after a long day's work and would rather kick it with his boys, something's wrong. It's not him, it's HER. Please Learn This. No one wants to feel as though they have no outlet. It's usually women that are guilty of this because many men would have no problem with their lady having a night out with the girls or doing something solo. By right he shouldn't because if she hasn't given him a reason to mistrust her (and vice versa), he should stop the insecurity (that goes double for her). Some men know they have something great at home, but yet want to stay in the streets and play. It's not always that the lady is doing something wrong or not doing something at all; some men are just dogs, it's in their nature! I must flip the script with this question: If women know a man is a dog, she lays down with him and has his child(ren), what does that make her? Yes, some men are just foul so that should cause women to be extra cautious about who they give themselves to. I will say this, a real man that knows what he has at home would be itching to come home to be with his lady. Even then, both couples need time independent of each other. A woman can give a man her all and for some boys its still not enough. In that case, she should go the other direction. No sense in staying with someone who isn't giving as much as you are to the relationship. Relationships take TWO willing participants. We all have played to be something we are not to obtain something we desire at one time or another. Some dogs can imitate man qualities, this is a fact. This is what you call a wolf in sheep's clothing. Extra caution is necessary to guard yourself against these wolves in sheep's clothing because they look for a weak moment and once your guard is down, they show their true colors and you're looking crazy because you were fooled by their act. That's the problem right there, he's a BOY and not a MAN. A man has nothing to hide; he understands his woman wanting him to check in with her not because she's trying to be controlling, but because she's concerned for his safety. A boy would catch feelings if his woman wanted to know his whereabouts. This is where timing comes in hand, if you rush into something without getting to know who the individual is, then whether you are male or female, you set yourself up to be deceived!

Also if the signs are there from the beginning, do not dismiss them because they are future warning signs that something might not be right. I'm too real a man to deceive a woman like that, my morality wouldn't allow it. I would keep it real with a potential mate from the start and if she walked away, I consider it a blessing because she couldn't handle a real man. Some dogs can imitate man qualities so it's extra important a woman has good discernment. If you get an uneasy feeling about the person you meet, it's for a reason. Don't ignore that feeling because it could spell heartbreak. Too many women don't pay attention to a man's character and instead are focused on how tall/buff he is, how his money is looking, what kind of car he drives, etc. Those things will lose value over time. It's his inner core that will stick out to you. How he thinks, feels, his drive, spirituality, etc. TAKE YOUR TIME in getting to know someone (this goes double for men). Start off as friends and see where the relationship goes. This is what I see: Most males today are BOYS. Men know how to prioritize. Boys want their cake and eat it too. Let a man come home at 1am, 2am in the morning and his woman is waiting to verbally pounce on him. "Where have you been? I know you haven't been working all day." The woman can indeed be a GREAT catch and he'll still spend more time with his FRIENDS than he does with HER. What are you in a relationship for if you don't want to dedicate time to your partner?! It makes NO SENSE. And if SHE doesn't interest you anymore then you need to LEAVE and stop blaming her when you don't have to stay and play games along with her! I do believe in SPACE though and a life OUTSIDE of the relationship -- so yes, you BOTH should spend some time with your friends. But your mate should always be #1 no exceptions!!!

Love Reassurance

Everyone wants to hear how much their mate loves them, right? Of course they do. Otherwise, if your mate doesn't tell you how much he/she loves you, you start to doubt the relationship. For some reason, women need constant reassurance their man loves them. Depending on the man, he may not have an issue reinforcing his love for his woman but if he's like most guys, he prefers to show better than tell. A woman that's secure in her relationship understands her man loves her regardless of whether he tells her 50 times a day or once a day. Men are about action rather than speech. Ladies, you shouldn't need constant reassurance your man loves you. As long as he does right by you, that's all you need. Just because a man doesn't tell his woman 50 times a day he loves her doesn't mean he doesn't care about her, it's just that she should know by how he treats her. If the woman is someone that needs to hear "I love you" because that's her love language, then I understand wanting to hear it regularly. Should my woman be one of those ladies, I will school her on how men show affection and from that point, the rest is on her on how she receives my knowledge. As long as your mate showers you with affection on the regular, that should suffice. I think people who need constant reassurance of their mate's love for them are a little insecure. To me, their day isn't complete unless they hear "I love you" a certain number of times. You can tell someone you love them until the cows come home but actions always..ALWAYS speak louder than words. Telling someone you love them and not backing up your words with action doesn't add up. Your love for your spouse will always be credible if you tell and show him/her you love them.

Richard Mourdock - Pregnancy from Rape is Something God Intended to Happen

Everyone has said things they wish they could take back, but no one (to my knowledge) has said something so vile like this. To suggest that God intended for a child to be born via rape is dead wrong. Comments like this confirm atheists belief that if God is so loving and merciful, why does he allow bad things to happen to decent human beings? From that viewpoint, I can understand why atheists think like they do. This guy came out of his mouth to say some crap like this. True, God does take what the enemy means for evil and creates good but God doesn't allow someone to be raped; that's mega FLAW. That's like God allowing some children to be born healthy and others with one or more debilitating disabilities and I won't believe that for one minute.Or how about some people having a good start in life and others having the odds stacked against them from early on? More bull. Really? God intended the rape to happen? Well, there you have it folks.

Deflection

Mention men's issues and people shout the house down. Mention women's issues and you get deflection and combativeness. Seen it many times over on FB and real life; it never fails. The deflection many women display when you try to correct them just proves the very case. Wonder why men don't play the deflection/combative game? Men are usually better at receiving correction because we're used to getting our behinds handed to us, therefore we make the proper adjustments. Men may deflect, but never to the degree of women. Men were usually raised to take responsibility for what they say/do and that sticks with them throughout life. Women are used to being coddled that sometimes people overlook their transgressions. In a woman's eyes, she's never wrong. She always thinks she's right and nobody can tell her otherwise. Deflection is not a good look on ANYONE, man or woman. Deflection shows your inability to take ownership and no one wants to be around someone like that; unless of course deflectors seek out those who tell them what they want to hear instead of what they NEED to hear. You have some men that throw their brick and hide their hand and to me, they're little boys, not men. A man stands behind what he says even in the face of opposition; he's not afraid to catch heat for how he feels and thinks. I read a lot of Facebook threads and when someone makes valid points, there's always someone who says "y'all do it too, what about you guys" That may be true but to deflect the truth of a situation is crazy. This is a good example of the craziness I read on Facebook on a regular basis: If a woman checks a man, women call her courageous and a hero. If a man checks a woman, women say he hates women and his mother. Both sides have issues they need to work on but at the same time, when the focus is on a particular person, place or thing, DO NOT deflect in any way, shape or form.

Cleopatra Treatment vs. Jezebel Personality

You can't expect Cleopatra treatment if you're acting like Jezebel. Cleopatra was one of the most powerful female rulers of her time. She had a beauty like no other and used her charm to influence male rulers. Cleopatra didn't have to throw her weight around to let people know she was in charge, it showed in her grace and most of all, her influence. She never (to my knowledge) acted out of character. In most depictions, Cleopatra is portrayed as a great beauty, and her successive conquests of the world's most powerful men are taken as proof of her aesthetic and sexual appeal. She knew how to make herself agreeable to everyone. Jezebel was a Biblical figure, she was the wife of King Ahab. Jezebel is a term used to describe a spiteful woman. What baffles me is Jezebel women who feel they deserve Cleopatra treatment. How can a woman of poor moral character demand she be treated like Cleopatra? SHE CAN'T. A real man is not going to give the wrong woman queen treatment. Real men will always gravitate towards Cleopatra-type women because they know she will do right by him. She won't have an attitude because her man will go above and beyond to keep a smile on her face. With a Jezebel woman, that's not the case. No matter what a man does, it's never good enough. She nitpicks about everything and her intent is to drive him away (which she usually succeeds). Most Jezebel women don't care if they drive people away but you have a few who do. By the time Jezebels begin to work on themselves, they've done enough damage to where NOBODY wants to be around them. A Cleopatra woman is powerful, yet humble & respectful. She's no pushover but knows her role. A Jezebel woman is an overly opinionated woman that has to have the last word. She always thinks she's right and no one can tell her different. She has very few, if any friends. Of the friends she may have, they are fellow bitter Jezebel women who don't have the balls to tell her the truth. A Jezebel woman will never be endearing to anyone due to her negative disposition. On the contrary, Cleopatras are highly sought after women due to their pleasant disposition.

Tell It Like It Is Friday: Episode 2

Tell It Like It Is Friday, episode 2: Action.

-Lame is an unemployed man who leaves the house at 7am and returns at 5pm acting like he put in a full day on the job.

-Lame is a man that finds it acceptable to lay on the couch while his woman brings home the bacon. No woman wants a lazy man.

-Lame is a woman who wants to be the man

-Lame is a man who wants to be the woman

-Lame is Mitt Romney's disrespect towards our country's CEO

-Lame is Romney's son saying the stupid mess he said about tagging President Obama. 

-Lame is men with no testicular fortitude.

-Lame is men who co-sign women on everything to gain coochie points.

-Lame is the music industry. "Gold all in my chain, gold all in my ring, ice in my mouth, diamonds on my grill; nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga"

-Lame is a woman who holds her education over her man's head.

-Lame is women who think belligerence and combativeness is strength. No, it makes you look stupid.

-Lame is this team dark-skin/light-skin bullish.

-Lame is when you spend more time outside than inside the home.

-Lame is when a woman thinks her man is cheating because he's working late.

-Lame is when a man tells a woman she's full of crap, she attacks his manhood: You're gay, you hate women, you hate your mother bla bla bla bla.

-Lame is people who expect to drop weight by taking some magic pill that lets you eat whatever you want. Malarky.

-Lame is when people don't mind their business

-Lame is blacks that want more out of life are ridiculed for being "white"

-Lame is making fun of someone for a stuttering problem.

-Lame is doing the same thing over & over and expecting different results.

-Lame is a woman who calls a man "gay" for turning down her sexual advances. Newsflash: There are real men who aren't phased by T&A.

-Lame is men who overlook women as the perpetrators in domestic violence cases.

-Lame is a woman who curses. Cursing is NOT ladylike. Please Learn This.

-Lame is when you're married and think you can live like your single. Once you get married, FREEDOM GOES OUT THE DOOR.

-Lame is 1 in 88 children being diagnosed with autism. Back in the day, autism, like other disorders/disabilities were seldom.

-Lame is preachers who are afraid to tell it like it is because they don't want to lose 1/3 of their congregation.

-Lame is thinking that love pays the bills. Love doesn't, hasn't and will NEVER pay the bills.

Top 10 Blog Hits

 I've done 159 blog commentaries since debuting The Chill Zone and I've written some bangers. Here are my Top 10 blogs I've written:

1.Embracing The Struggle-90 views, 2 comments

2.Light Skin vs. Dark Skin and What Is A Man/Woman-54 views

3.Only God Can Judge Me-33 views, 6 comments

4.Black Men & Women's Plight-29 views

5.Foreigners owning businesses in black neighborhoods, 28 views

6.State Of Society Address, Men & Women As Friends, Stop Being A People Pleaser 24 views

7.Black Relationships, I Trust You God, No I Don't-23 views

8.Giving Your Best To The Wrong Person, Relationship Expectations, Where The Real Men At, Welcome To The Chill Zone-22 views

9.Women Raising Boys-21 views

10.Lazy Men, Men Retreating From Their Lady-20 views.

Plenty More Where Those Came From.