Mixing Business With Pleasure

Mixing Business With Pleasure?

 

There's a common theme among workplace romances: Don't eat where you work. In layman's terms, don't get involved with someone from your job. You see your colleagues 40 hours out of the week (which is more time than most spend with their families), and you're going to develop feelings? That's bonkers. Too much can go wrong getting involved with a colleague, and the relationship goes downhill. Here's an example: You and a colleague are competing for a Director position because the present Executive Director was promoted to Vice President. The position is in Miami, and you two work at the Atlanta office. Once the opening is up for grabs, you and your colleague go to war. Both employees have been on point since they were hired and continue to shine. The supervisor knows she can come to her superstars for help with her assignments because they will help her produce top notch work.

The man and woman do overtime, seek out additional projects and they go all out like never before because both of them want that Executive Director position. Here's the catch, they've been attracted to each other for quite sometime, but they didn't act on their feelings because they want to keep business and pleasure separate. Both the man and woman agree to work on a big project. As they're working on this project, they exchange ideas and their relationship grows closer. Once they put the finishing touches on this major assignment, they agree to dinner & a movie. They enjoyed a weekend together and report for work on Monday morning, keeping their relationship professional. When a man & woman have a good working relationship, it carries over into their personal life. They're a little more flirty than usual, and they have lunch together. No harm right? Right. Remember, these two are doing a good job (so far) of separating business from pleasure.

When the Executive Director announces the promotion, the man gets the promotion because he's considered an expert at his position, so that garners him the respect amongst his colleagues. His co-worker friend acts like she's not jealous, but deep down she is. He's excited, and when he goes to share the good news with her, she side eyes him. You know how some co-workers act when they don't get the promotion they want: Envy is magnified x 100. I don't see myself getting involved with a woman I work with; that would be awkward. The moral of the story is: It's not worth it to mix business with pleasure, because when a promotion is on the line, people's worst side comes out.

 

Does Social Media Hurt Relationships?

Does social media hurt relationships? That depends. Some people say yes, others say no. Truthfully, it's a little of both. Some couples don't allow outsiders to meddle in their relationships (as they should), and others will let any & everyone interfere in their business. Go on social media right now, and you'll read various statuses about social media interference in relationships. My personal view is this: While I do believe that social media does hurt relationships, the success or failure of any relationship hinges on the couple. Relationships require work, and nobody has time to let outsiders mess up what they're trying to build. If a couple is going to be on social media, they should establish their relationship status so as not to create confusion.

Once the relationship is established, any suspect behavior should not happen. Commenting on other (wo)men's pictures saying (s)he's fine or I want to get with this and that person. There have been stories where people have broken up over social media. Those relationships weren't strong to begin with. There's more to the story than we know. It takes a level of trust to be in a committed relationship, and be on social media. Think about it: An engaged man is on Facebook or Twitter looking at pictures of curvy women. One woman catches his eye, and he inboxes her wanting to "get to know her". Conversation flows and he arranges to meet this woman. As they're getting to know each other, his fiancee doesn't cross his mind because he's wrapped in getting to know this other woman.

The conversation turns to sexting, and sexting turns into cheating. The woman starts to suspect something with her fiancee and starts interrogating him. At first he says he was working late, then he graduates to hanging with his boys. Some men won't openly admit their cheating because they don't want to hurt their mate. While there is validity in social media hurting relationships; for the most part I believe that if a relationship doesn't have a solid foundation, it will not last.

Multiple Dating

GSRT Member Question:

When you are single and dating, is there anything wrong with dating more than one person at a time? A guy I met a couple of weeks ago – we’ve been out twice – once for lunch, and we also went to the movies. He said it's a turn off for him when he meets a woman that is “dating around” and unless I am willing to date only him, he's not interested.

My thing is, part of being single and dating is getting to know people and if I just met a man, why on earth would he think I would drop everything and focus on him? Isn’t that the point of dating until you meet a person you want to commit to?

What is your opinion?

 

My View: If you're dating more than one person, something's wrong. To me, you can't make up your mind as to who you want, so you have to date multiple people. In this scenario, I agree with the man because he wants to get to know this one woman, and she's "dating around". I'd be turned off by a woman who's dating around too because to me, that shows she doesn't know what she wants. She has to date this & that person in order to find out what she's looking for. That's what turns most (wo)men off. When you have someone who's wanting to get to know you, you turn your attention to them. It's skankish to date multiple people; If that's what some people do, more power to them. That couldn't be me. If I'm interested in a woman, all my focus goes to her because I see something in her that I may not find in anyone else.

If I'm interested in a woman, I'm interested in HER. I don't have time to be dating multiple women because to me, that's foul. What if the woman I'm dating has feelings for me and wants to marry me? I can't do that if I'm dating multiple women. If I'm trying to get into polygyny, then I'd get to know multiple women because the premise of polygamy is for building. One woman does this, the next woman does this and that, etc. Dating around is nothing more than an inability to decide who you want. You date one person on this day, the next person on that day, and so on. To me, dating around reflects poorly on (wo)men because it means the (wo)men involved are being led on.

Say a woman dates around, and she's vibing with several men at the same time. All these men are what she's looking for so she has difficulty choosing the perfect man. At some point, these men will find out about each other, and the woman will look crazy because she led each man to believe that he was the one. That's why I'm against dating around, because feelings will be hurt.



Public Service Announcement

Attention all men: Stop hooting & hollering because a woman gave you sex. What gives you the right to do a praise dance over something she's giving to every other man? That's silly to me. When a man gets sprung over nooky, that tells me he's not used to getting any from a woman, and he doesn't know how to act. It also means he's hard up for sex to where a woman finally sleeps with him, and he doesn't know what to do. He tries to make her pleasure palace exclusive: She can't sleep with other men, or do this & that, etc. It's her body, and she can do what she pleases with it. If she wants to share her cookies with every Tom, Dick & Harry, that's her perogative. Thank goodness I've never been thirsty for sex because I couldn't spend all my resources chasing after something she's giving to every other guy. You can tell when a man's not used to female attention, because when a woman offers the cooch, he starts acting crazy and salivating at the mouth. Some women do this, but not to the degree of men.

Expanding on yesterday's commentary about bad sex, loyalty is a lost art among some couples. Women leaving men over bad sex, men being within their right to leave because she let herself go; it's bonkers to me and gives me more ammunition to remain single. You don't truly know people like you think. People can and will tell you anything just to get in good standing. Once you let your guard down, they show you sides of them you didn't know about. You can prepare all you want, but all that preparation is put to the test once you get into a relationship with someone. If a woman is willing to leave her man over bad sex, she's doing him a favor. She wasn't into him for who he is, she was checking for him because she felt he could blow her back out. If a woman let herself go and her husband was no longer attracted to her, and he left her, all the women would call for his crucifixion. Here come the "that dog, he's not a real man, he's trifling, etc" shots. I see why most people choose to remain single, because they see the lack of loyalty among some couples, and would rather not deal.

 





Bad Sex=I'm Gone

 

Today's message is titled Bad Sex=I'm Gone. The above picture was posted in one of my Facebook groups. The responses are varied thus far, and confirmed my view that loyalty is a lost art. If you have someone who's good to you but the sex is bad, why would you leave? That's stupid to leave an otherwise good relationship over sex. The fact that men and women would leave over sex just shows how far we've fallen in society. Last time I checked, there's other ways to connect besides sex. Deep conversations, doing things together you both enjoy, etc. I can't be too upset because everyone's different, so being different involves different outlooks based on personal experiences. For me, I couldn't imagine leaving a good woman over bad sex. If we're compatible in other areas, then I can overlook bad sex; I'm dead serious about that. As a couple gets older, their sex life diminishes.

Many responses signaling departure are coming from women, go figure. Women place more value on sex than men do, and why wouldn't they? For women, sex is about emotional connection. You're connecting in a way that can only be explained through sexual activity. Some men don't value sex as much because some men will sex this & that woman, lay the bill on the table and leave a tip. I can understand why women value sex the way they do, but not to the point where if her man isn't laying it down right, she's gone. Thank God I'm not hard to please like most people. Basically, if a woman does right by me (and I return the favor), it doesn't matter if she's bad at sex; we'll improvise. Besides, as we get older our sex life will probably diminish due to lack of desire. There's more than one way to connect with your spouse, sex doesn't have to be the only option.

I'm going to post a few responses from T Lavon Lawrence:

"There is no RIGHT man - everything within a relationship changes - like the wind and the tide, emotions evolve, attachments rise and fall, perspectives and desires move from one aspect to another. What stokes your flame now will inevitably die out and your furnace will need a different type of fuel. Oh the hypocrisy you're going to demonstrate when things stop working in your female body when the changes hit you - and you turn to your man and he's not feeling you because your 'drives' aren't what they used to be."

"Every woman in here is going to change on her man - nature has made that a guarantee - and when it happens, your body is going to go insane, and your man is going to have to suffer for it. According to this mindset I'm seeing, he's justified in leaving you for another woman whose equipment is still in high-performance working order - no matter how good you treat him."

 

T Lavon's response show how loyalty is a lost art among some women. According to these two statements, a man would be justified in leaving or cheating on his woman if her equipment malfunctioned. That wouldn't go over well because the minute a similar picture was posted, women would be calling him a dog, sorry, etc. for not staying with his woman through her down time.

 

 



I Think (S)he lying

 

This post caught my attention in one of my Facebook groups. It deals with the issue of sexual partners. Whenever a (wo)man is meeting a potential mate, this topic usually comes up. Why does it come up? Because you want to know about their sexual health. With too many diseases running amok, it's important not to take a chance on your health. It seems that more men are demanding to know a woman's sexual status. If she's honest about the number of partners, he'll think she's lying or a ho. You can't win with some men, so I see why women opt not to answer, or give a false number. Then again, men are known to lie when a woman flips the script. If you don't want to know the answer, don't ask the question.

If you find someone that hasn't slept around and is a good fit, keep them around. You won't find too many quality mates in today's world. I understand quality is different for everyone. My personal viewpoint is this: If I want to know a woman's sexual past, I'm going to ask. If I don't/won't like the answer, it's best I not ask. I will be 100 and say I want a wholesome woman. I want to be her first & only. At the same time, every woman has a past so it's up to me to decide what I can handle. However, I know that someone's past doesn't define them unless they let it. If I meet a woman who's a great fit for me, but she slept with someone prior to me, I probably wouldn't trip over it too much AS LONG as ties were cut with her ex. I don't have time to be #2. It's either me or him.

No (wo)man wants a loose person. If so, that's sad and it goes to show you that some people are desperate to park in anyone's garage. How can some people be comfortable about sexing this & that person? That's crazy to me because they're playing Russian Roulette with their life. There have been news articles of men & women catching deadly diseases for sleeping around. That will not be me because I have goals to accomplish, and I can't do what needs to be done if I'm spending more time humping & jumping around. I consider a person loose if they've had more than 5 sexual partners. Some (wo)men like loose partners; to each their own. Couldn't be me. The only person I want to be loose with is my wife.

 

 

 





Getting Into A Relationship: Proceed With Caution

 

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you read this Caution sign? To me, the sign is obvious; proceed with caution. In life, it's important to use caution before undertaking a major event. If not, you could get caught up in something you have no business being in. Relationships are no different. In fact, you should exercise caution before you enter a relationship with someone. It baffles me people would accept the first person who walks into their life. Did (s)he do a background check on them? No, they saw a good looking (wo)man and their thirst meter went on overload. This is straight from my heart: I take relationships VERY seriously because I want my first long-term relationship to last, and in order to do that, I have to be very careful who I open up to. Not everyone has my best interest at heart, so why would I open up to the wrong woman? That's silly. I'm in several Facebook groups and we frequently discuss relationships. I read many people's relationship situations, and I shake my head because the posters come off so jaded. Women write off men as dogs, men call women ratchet, etc. When it comes to failed relationships, I learn a lot from other people's failed relationships, and I determine NOT to make the same mistakes they did.

Can someone be TOO cautious? That depends. If you're trying to protect yourself from hurt, no. As stated before, not everyone you meet is going to have your best interest at heart. If you can avoid pain, do so. No sense in putting yourself through unnecessary drama. This is why many people with failed relationships are bitter, because they were too trusting with their heart. They took the first good looking (wo)man walking and lost their senses; telling everything on the first date, spending hundreds trying to impress them so they can stay, etc. The relationship game has changed, and not for the better. You have men bordering on simp territory selling out for women's approval, and women eating that up while she says to herself  "I've got this man wrapped around my finger. I'm not checking for him, but if he's wining & dining me, why not?" After the courting phase, comes marriage. Marriage is a whole different ballgame because what's done in the dark, comes to light. You find out things about a person you never knew. For everyone that's too trusting with their heart, be careful. Trust the wrong person and they'll have you looking crazy