Multiple Dating

GSRT Member Question:

When you are single and dating, is there anything wrong with dating more than one person at a time? A guy I met a couple of weeks ago – we’ve been out twice – once for lunch, and we also went to the movies. He said it's a turn off for him when he meets a woman that is “dating around” and unless I am willing to date only him, he's not interested.

My thing is, part of being single and dating is getting to know people and if I just met a man, why on earth would he think I would drop everything and focus on him? Isn’t that the point of dating until you meet a person you want to commit to?

What is your opinion?

 

My View: If you're dating more than one person, something's wrong. To me, you can't make up your mind as to who you want, so you have to date multiple people. In this scenario, I agree with the man because he wants to get to know this one woman, and she's "dating around". I'd be turned off by a woman who's dating around too because to me, that shows she doesn't know what she wants. She has to date this & that person in order to find out what she's looking for. That's what turns most (wo)men off. When you have someone who's wanting to get to know you, you turn your attention to them. It's skankish to date multiple people; If that's what some people do, more power to them. That couldn't be me. If I'm interested in a woman, all my focus goes to her because I see something in her that I may not find in anyone else.

If I'm interested in a woman, I'm interested in HER. I don't have time to be dating multiple women because to me, that's foul. What if the woman I'm dating has feelings for me and wants to marry me? I can't do that if I'm dating multiple women. If I'm trying to get into polygyny, then I'd get to know multiple women because the premise of polygamy is for building. One woman does this, the next woman does this and that, etc. Dating around is nothing more than an inability to decide who you want. You date one person on this day, the next person on that day, and so on. To me, dating around reflects poorly on (wo)men because it means the (wo)men involved are being led on.

Say a woman dates around, and she's vibing with several men at the same time. All these men are what she's looking for so she has difficulty choosing the perfect man. At some point, these men will find out about each other, and the woman will look crazy because she led each man to believe that he was the one. That's why I'm against dating around, because feelings will be hurt.