I hear all this talk about brothers going outside of their race to find happiness. Black women aren't this, that and the third. How many times can you play the same song before it gets tired? If some black men feel like they'll be happy with a woman of another race/ethnicity, more power to them. Do what makes you happy. I'm tired of some black men and women complaining about each other. BOTH BLACK MEN & WOMEN need to cut this foolishness out, because both are in the same boat as far as the difficulty of finding a suitable mate. There's not much, if any, that I disagree with in Tommy's video. Many times, the same arguments are recycled: Black women are too mean, too needy, argumentative, ghetto. Black men are jailbirds, can't keep a job, too immature, mama's boys, etc. There are no original arguments for black men/women dating outside of their race. One difference I notice is when black women date outside the race, THEY DO IT with no public service announcement. Some black men make a spectacle of their decision to date outside the race. Let's use a sports analogy: When Lebron James was drafted to Miami Heat from Cleveland, he made a big media spectacle about it. This angered Cleveland fans because they felt like Lebron turned his back on the team. Lebron wouldn't have gotten the flak he did if he would have kept his decision on the low. I said that to say this: Too many people don't want to do soul-searching to figure out why THEY keep having failed relationships. Wherever you go, YOU are the common denominator.
May 1, 2013
Men & Women: TIGHTEN UP
The following is from the Grown Man Logic Facebook page. It puts MEN & WOMEN on blast for their promiscuity, and goes into detail how some women have themselves to blame if they choose not to see the writing on the wall.
I’m really sick of all the men saying women are hoes, sluts and/or tramps. Newsflash, someone has to be sexing them and guess what, it’s us men. Then after doing so and finding out your homeboy or crew already hit, all of a sudden she is a hoe or slut. She wasn't that when you were calling her whenever you wanted some. Oh yea men, when you're being selfish and simply about getting yours, more times than not you didn’t satisfy her, but yet you think you're the man in bed. I’m willing to bet the biggest hoe you know or think you know has slept with less people than you, so what does that make you exactly? You men are so tired of hoes, well, blame your fellow males for continuing the trend giving attention, buying things, boosting egos and sexing these so called hoes, so don’t look for change because it’s not happening! MEN: DO BETTER!
I'm really sick of all the women saying men are dogs, players and no good. Newsflash, for each and every female that allows poor treatment, disrespectful behavior, any type of abuse, taking him back when cheating, etc, it is you who continues this cycle because you all are the ones allowing this to happen staying with a man who should be kicked to the curb. Quit telling yourself ‘but I love him’ and using it as a excuse or justification for his ignorant ways, poor treatment and inconsistent behavior. Have more love for yourself and lose the loser. If you don’t get rid of him, then blame yourself and all the other women unable to do so for not reading the writing on the wall when the signs are always there, thinking he is going to change or somehow you’re the one who he will change for because it’s not happening! WOMEN: DO BETTER!
I'm really sick of all the women saying men are dogs, players and no good. Newsflash, for each and every female that allows poor treatment, disrespectful behavior, any type of abuse, taking him back when cheating, etc, it is you who continues this cycle because you all are the ones allowing this to happen staying with a man who should be kicked to the curb. Quit telling yourself ‘but I love him’ and using it as a excuse or justification for his ignorant ways, poor treatment and inconsistent behavior. Have more love for yourself and lose the loser. If you don’t get rid of him, then blame yourself and all the other women unable to do so for not reading the writing on the wall when the signs are always there, thinking he is going to change or somehow you’re the one who he will change for because it’s not happening! WOMEN: DO BETTER!
My $.02: Why someone would sleep with a person that others have ran up in & through is silly. Sloppy seconds, thirds, or fourths are not the move.
Apr 30, 2013
Simp Men: By Enigmatic Opinion
The following commentary is by Mr. Enigmatic Opinion. He goes into detail about the word Simp. Read On.
MrEnigmatic Opinion
Simp men. I don't attack this word because I just woke up one day and decided that I don't like the word "simp" or the definition behind the word. Simps exist in all races, therefore it can hardly be considered a racial issue. Black men being so-called "simps" is not the sickness, it is however, a symptom of a greater "sickness" in black men. Attacking "simp" men is like giving someone aspirin for a headache, when he actually has a brain tumor. There is a larger reason why black American men reduce their value in order to hold onto an undeserving woman. For a man to cling to an unworthy woman, and deal with her belligerence, shows an extreme lack of confidence and self esteem. Self esteem in a man is not built the same way it is built in a woman.
For instance, a man typically does not have low self esteem because of his physical appearance. A man does not have to feel "beautiful" in order to be confident in his relationship with women. Black men are "simps" because of their lack of self fulfillment in their status/position in society. Because so many black American men have few personal accomplishments. This lack of self esteem is caused by the high school dropout rates amongst black American men, high unemployment, and lack of financial independence. Their lack of confidence cannot be eliminated by calling them "simps" over and over again. A confident and successful black man is less likely to exhibit a lack of confidence in his relations with women, and a mans confidence can only be built through his own personal fulfillment and his own successes. In other words, he does not look to have a woman (make him a valuable man). Black men must seek fulfillment in intellectual obtainment and personal goals, none of which has anything to do with women. So you see, being a "simp" is not the problem, it is a symptom of a much greater issue amongst black men. To believe being a "simp" is the biggest issue, is just reducing a much larger issue to something small and petty.
Simp men. I don't attack this word because I just woke up one day and decided that I don't like the word "simp" or the definition behind the word. Simps exist in all races, therefore it can hardly be considered a racial issue. Black men being so-called "simps" is not the sickness, it is however, a symptom of a greater "sickness" in black men. Attacking "simp" men is like giving someone aspirin for a headache, when he actually has a brain tumor. There is a larger reason why black American men reduce their value in order to hold onto an undeserving woman. For a man to cling to an unworthy woman, and deal with her belligerence, shows an extreme lack of confidence and self esteem. Self esteem in a man is not built the same way it is built in a woman.
For instance, a man typically does not have low self esteem because of his physical appearance. A man does not have to feel "beautiful" in order to be confident in his relationship with women. Black men are "simps" because of their lack of self fulfillment in their status/position in society. Because so many black American men have few personal accomplishments. This lack of self esteem is caused by the high school dropout rates amongst black American men, high unemployment, and lack of financial independence. Their lack of confidence cannot be eliminated by calling them "simps" over and over again. A confident and successful black man is less likely to exhibit a lack of confidence in his relations with women, and a mans confidence can only be built through his own personal fulfillment and his own successes. In other words, he does not look to have a woman (make him a valuable man). Black men must seek fulfillment in intellectual obtainment and personal goals, none of which has anything to do with women. So you see, being a "simp" is not the problem, it is a symptom of a much greater issue amongst black men. To believe being a "simp" is the biggest issue, is just reducing a much larger issue to something small and petty.
Apr 29, 2013
I Don't Know What To Do
This blog is straight from the heart. Whenever a loved one dies, the first thing someone says is "I Don't Know What I'm Going To Do". Grief is healthy & natural, we all experience grief when a loved one dies. To me, I Don't Know What I'm Going To Do signifies a crutch because it's like you're saying you can't make it without that person. It's somewhat true if they've had a positive impact on your life. I've said this many times when a loved one has passed, but I remember their wisdom and keep it moving. They wouldn't want me to dwell on their departure. Even better, most likely they gave their heart to Christ so I know they're going to Heaven (which is a much better place than THIS world we live in). I find it scary when some people utter "I don't know what to do" because it makes me wonder are they self-sufficient? Can they make it without their loved ones? It boils down to resolve. I've lost my grandma and a close family friend; these people were stand-up to the core. Whenever I was going through something, I could call them up and they knew the right words to say. Sometimes, I didn't have to tell them what's on my mind, they knew. From that day on, I try not to say "I don't know what to do" should a loved one die. I remember what they taught me, which allows me to cope with their loss. Besides, dwelling on the fact (s)he is gone IS NOT going to bring them back, so you might as well move on. It's easier said than done, but it must be done in order to begin the healing process.
Apr 23, 2013
A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words
This is a beautiful picture that I just HAD to share. The following was quoted by Facebook friend Miloe Jackson off his Grown Man Logic page: Every WOMAN deserves a GROWN MAN who calls her "Baby", KISSES like He means it.. HOLDS her like He never wants to let go.. Doesn't make Her JEALOUS of other Women, and instead makes other Women, jealous of Her.. Isn't scared to let His friends know how He really feels about feels about Her, and let's Her know how much, He really LOVES HER.
Apr 22, 2013
Monday's Proverbs
*Miami won Game 1 of the NBA Playoffs yesterday evening, putting the smackdown on Milwaukee with a 110-87 win. 1-0, let's sweep those Bucks out of Miami.
*You cannot be predator and victim at the same time. Case in point, a man goes about his business when some belligerent woman tries him. He continues minding his business, and she still won't leave him alone. A man can only take so much until he hauls off and slaps fire from her. Moral of story: Don't start what you can't finish.
*People are funny. They mistreat you, then take no responsibility for their offense. On top of that, they have the nerve to say "The Bible says forgive". Yes, the Bible says forgive, but...the Bible also says do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Or, an eye for an eye and a tooth for tooth. Watch how fast they shut up.
*Jealousy is a disease, and so many people suffer from it.
*Say that Gary!
*Miami-Dade high school football is brutal. Settle for nothing, take everything. For many kids growing up in inner-city Miami, football is their exit route out of the ghetto, so I understand why football is of utmost importance in Miami.
*You can't be the predator & victim at the same time.
*I firmly believe that every woman isn't meant for motherhood, and every man isn't meant for fatherhood. All you have to do is google stories of children being abused by their so-called parents.
Denzel will always be my favorite actor, based on his principles
Tell the truth Pastor Creflo! (Excuse the vernacular)
Apr 19, 2013
Real Talk Friday
1. Marriage is under attack. With the divorce rate topping 50% for first marriages. polygamy spreading like wildfire, and cohabitation, it won't be long before marriage dies permanently.
Quoted By Dick Johnson-The young people of today are all about themselves and are constantly wanting their spouse to wait on them hand and foot and give very little in return. Plus, they want to bail when things get a little rough and don't want to put in the WORK to have a healthy relationship. When you get two people with that same mentality in a relationship it's bound to fail. The problem is, the majority of today's generation is like that. If that mentality doesn't die, then marriage will die.
2. "Until Lions have their own historians,
tales of the hunt will always glorify the hunter."
African Proverb
tales of the hunt will always glorify the hunter."
African Proverb
3. Ball Now, Cry Later:
4. Priorities Out Of Order:
5. I hate when someone always have their hands out, get your own!
6. This Is Not Attractive By Any Means:
7. If She can do both, she's winning.
8. I salute the women who have mastered this list:
1. Respectfully communicate with him.
1a. sex. sex, sex.. sex for men is different. it is his way of physically, emotionally bonding with you. do not use sex as a tool of manipulation !
2. Let him know he’s important to you.
3. Purposefully... try to understand his feelings—even when you disagree with him.
4. Show interest in his friends giving him some time with them if they’re trust-worthy.
5. Let go of the small stuff. We all have annoying habits and preferences that are different from our spouse’s. (Dave Ramsey)
6. Tell him you both love him AND like him.
7. Either show interest in his hobbies or allow him space to participate freely. (D Ramsey)
8. Protect his dignity on a daily basis.
9. When confronting him, realize he has feelings also.
10. Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh together.
11. Try not to make sudden major changes without discussion, giving him time to adjust.
12. When you go out on a date together don’t bring up problems—have fun instead.
13. Focus on what he’s doing right, instead of focusing so often on the negatives.
14. Show interest in what he feels is important in life.
15. Give him special time with you apart from the children.
16. The first minutes after a spouse comes home often sets the stage for how the rest of the evening will go. Try to make that time a positive experience. (Ease into the negative.)
17. Give him time to unwind after he gets home from work. Your evenings will be much more enjoyable. (Dave Ramsey)
18. Don’t allow family members to treat him disrespectfully. Defend him to anyone that dishonors his place as your husband.
19. Compliment him often.
20. Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in actions.
21. Talk with him about having specific family goals for each year to achieve together to feel closer as a marital team.
22. Don’t over commit yourself. Leave time for him.
23. Extend God’s grace to him and be forgiving when he offends you.
24. Find ways to show him you need him.
25. Give him time to be alone. (This energizes him to reconnect at other times.)
26. Admit your mistakes; don’t be afraid to be humble. Peel away your pride.
27. Defend him to those who disrespectfully talk about him. Love protects (1 Cor. 13:7).
28. Respect his desire to do well—not his performance.
29. Rub his feet or neck, or scratch his back after a hard day.
30. Take time for the two of you to sit and talk calmly (schedule it when necessary).
31. Initiate going out on romantic outings (when he’s not tired).
32. Email him when he’s at work, telling him how much you love him.
33. Surprise him with a fun gift of some kind that he’d really enjoy.
34. Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the family.
35. Tell him how proud you are of him for who he is (giving him specific reasons).
36. Give advice in a loving way — not in a nagging or belittling way.
37. Help your husband to be the Spiritual head at home (without “lording” it over him).
38. Reserve some energy for him so you’re not so tired when he wants you sexually.
39. Don’t expect him to do projects beyond his natural capabilities.
40. Pray for him to enjoy God’s best in life.
41. Take special notice for what he has done for you and the family.
42. Brag about him to other people both in front of him and even when he’s not there.
43. Keep conversations brief when he’s tired—so he isn’t “flooded” by too many words.
44. Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him.
45. Honor him in front of the children (differ respectfully in private when necessary).
46. ”Look straight into the eyes of your husband when he talks to you or if you’re speaking to him. This will make him feel that you are interested in what he wants to say.” (J. Clain)
47. Get up with him, even when he gets up earlier than you want to and pray with him (you can go back to bed afterward, if possible —it’s a sacrifice worth making.)
48. Be his “help-mate” in whatever ways you sense he needs it.
49. Participate in shoulder-to-shoulder activities with him (like watching a movie and such) without talking. Sometimes men just like to BE with you and not talk.
50. Be a student of his ways so you show your love in ways he best comprehends it.
51. When your husband is in a bad mood give him time to recover. Don’t crowd him.
52. Help him to finish his goals, hobbies, or education when your see he needs it.
53. Treat him as if God has stamped on his forehead: “Handle With Care.”
54. Work to get rid of habits that annoy him.
55. Be kind and thoughtful to his relatives. Don’t make him choose between you.
56. Don’t compare his relatives with yours in a negative way.
57. Thank him for things he’s done around the house. (It means a lot to men).
58. Don’t expect credit for all you do for him. Do it as “unto the Lord.”
59. Make sure he agrees with everything important that you’re planning to do.
60. Do little things for him—let him sleep in, bring him coffee, etc.
61. Don’t belittle his intelligence or be cynical in your words with him.
62. Initiate sex periodically. And respond more often.
63. Sometimes let him enjoy his day off work without having to “work” at home.
64. Get to the point in your discussions. Spare him details unless he wants them.
65. Discover his sexual needs.
66. Surprise him with a 15 second kiss when he gets home from work.
67. Wink at him from across the room when you’re out at a group function.
68. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he mis-speaks.
69. Don’t quarrel over words.
70. Be kind and courteous with him. (Don’t be kinder to strangers than to him.)
71. When things go wrong, instead of assessing blame, focus on how to do better.
72. As a kindness, don’t say, “I told you so.”
73. Try not to argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures instead.
74. Take him out on dates—pre-planning all of the details ahead of time.
75. Hold his hand and snuggle up close to him at times both at home and in public.
76. Praise his good decisions; minimize the bad ones.
77. Tell him you love him more often.
78. Put love notes in his pockets and brief case.
79. Sit with him while he’s watching TV—even if the program doesn’t interest you.
80. Don’t expect him to read your mind (despite your thinking he should— extend grace).
81. Periodically, give him time with his family alone.
82. Check with him before you throw away his papers and stuff, when possible.
83. Put effort in to keep yourself in good shape so he’s especially proud to be with you.
84. Let him express himself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical.
85. Carefully choose your words. Remember to “speak the truth in LOVE.”
86. Don’t criticize him in front of others—keeping his dignity in tact.
87. Visit his childhood home with him.
88. When you’re angry, express it in respectful ways. Don’t give the silent treatment.
89. Pray for him.
90. Make him homemade soup when he’s sick.
91. Look your best—dress to honor him and make him proud to be seen with you when you’re out together.
92. Support him when someone tries to put him down. Be his best cheer leader.
93. Don’t disagree with him in front of the children.
94. Take him for a weekend get-away without the children.
95. Cheer his successes whether in business or in other areas of everyday living.
96. Graciously teach him how to demonstrate his love for you.
97. Give him coupons to redeem—maybe for a back scratch or a shoulder rub.
98. Buy him a gift certificate to his favorite lunch spot and put it in his wallet.
99. Hide notes for him around the house where only he will find them.
100. Thank him for just being himself.
1a. sex. sex, sex.. sex for men is different. it is his way of physically, emotionally bonding with you. do not use sex as a tool of manipulation !
2. Let him know he’s important to you.
3. Purposefully... try to understand his feelings—even when you disagree with him.
4. Show interest in his friends giving him some time with them if they’re trust-worthy.
5. Let go of the small stuff. We all have annoying habits and preferences that are different from our spouse’s. (Dave Ramsey)
6. Tell him you both love him AND like him.
7. Either show interest in his hobbies or allow him space to participate freely. (D Ramsey)
8. Protect his dignity on a daily basis.
9. When confronting him, realize he has feelings also.
10. Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh together.
11. Try not to make sudden major changes without discussion, giving him time to adjust.
12. When you go out on a date together don’t bring up problems—have fun instead.
13. Focus on what he’s doing right, instead of focusing so often on the negatives.
14. Show interest in what he feels is important in life.
15. Give him special time with you apart from the children.
16. The first minutes after a spouse comes home often sets the stage for how the rest of the evening will go. Try to make that time a positive experience. (Ease into the negative.)
17. Give him time to unwind after he gets home from work. Your evenings will be much more enjoyable. (Dave Ramsey)
18. Don’t allow family members to treat him disrespectfully. Defend him to anyone that dishonors his place as your husband.
19. Compliment him often.
20. Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in actions.
21. Talk with him about having specific family goals for each year to achieve together to feel closer as a marital team.
22. Don’t over commit yourself. Leave time for him.
23. Extend God’s grace to him and be forgiving when he offends you.
24. Find ways to show him you need him.
25. Give him time to be alone. (This energizes him to reconnect at other times.)
26. Admit your mistakes; don’t be afraid to be humble. Peel away your pride.
27. Defend him to those who disrespectfully talk about him. Love protects (1 Cor. 13:7).
28. Respect his desire to do well—not his performance.
29. Rub his feet or neck, or scratch his back after a hard day.
30. Take time for the two of you to sit and talk calmly (schedule it when necessary).
31. Initiate going out on romantic outings (when he’s not tired).
32. Email him when he’s at work, telling him how much you love him.
33. Surprise him with a fun gift of some kind that he’d really enjoy.
34. Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the family.
35. Tell him how proud you are of him for who he is (giving him specific reasons).
36. Give advice in a loving way — not in a nagging or belittling way.
37. Help your husband to be the Spiritual head at home (without “lording” it over him).
38. Reserve some energy for him so you’re not so tired when he wants you sexually.
39. Don’t expect him to do projects beyond his natural capabilities.
40. Pray for him to enjoy God’s best in life.
41. Take special notice for what he has done for you and the family.
42. Brag about him to other people both in front of him and even when he’s not there.
43. Keep conversations brief when he’s tired—so he isn’t “flooded” by too many words.
44. Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him.
45. Honor him in front of the children (differ respectfully in private when necessary).
46. ”Look straight into the eyes of your husband when he talks to you or if you’re speaking to him. This will make him feel that you are interested in what he wants to say.” (J. Clain)
47. Get up with him, even when he gets up earlier than you want to and pray with him (you can go back to bed afterward, if possible —it’s a sacrifice worth making.)
48. Be his “help-mate” in whatever ways you sense he needs it.
49. Participate in shoulder-to-shoulder activities with him (like watching a movie and such) without talking. Sometimes men just like to BE with you and not talk.
50. Be a student of his ways so you show your love in ways he best comprehends it.
51. When your husband is in a bad mood give him time to recover. Don’t crowd him.
52. Help him to finish his goals, hobbies, or education when your see he needs it.
53. Treat him as if God has stamped on his forehead: “Handle With Care.”
54. Work to get rid of habits that annoy him.
55. Be kind and thoughtful to his relatives. Don’t make him choose between you.
56. Don’t compare his relatives with yours in a negative way.
57. Thank him for things he’s done around the house. (It means a lot to men).
58. Don’t expect credit for all you do for him. Do it as “unto the Lord.”
59. Make sure he agrees with everything important that you’re planning to do.
60. Do little things for him—let him sleep in, bring him coffee, etc.
61. Don’t belittle his intelligence or be cynical in your words with him.
62. Initiate sex periodically. And respond more often.
63. Sometimes let him enjoy his day off work without having to “work” at home.
64. Get to the point in your discussions. Spare him details unless he wants them.
65. Discover his sexual needs.
66. Surprise him with a 15 second kiss when he gets home from work.
67. Wink at him from across the room when you’re out at a group function.
68. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he mis-speaks.
69. Don’t quarrel over words.
70. Be kind and courteous with him. (Don’t be kinder to strangers than to him.)
71. When things go wrong, instead of assessing blame, focus on how to do better.
72. As a kindness, don’t say, “I told you so.”
73. Try not to argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures instead.
74. Take him out on dates—pre-planning all of the details ahead of time.
75. Hold his hand and snuggle up close to him at times both at home and in public.
76. Praise his good decisions; minimize the bad ones.
77. Tell him you love him more often.
78. Put love notes in his pockets and brief case.
79. Sit with him while he’s watching TV—even if the program doesn’t interest you.
80. Don’t expect him to read your mind (despite your thinking he should— extend grace).
81. Periodically, give him time with his family alone.
82. Check with him before you throw away his papers and stuff, when possible.
83. Put effort in to keep yourself in good shape so he’s especially proud to be with you.
84. Let him express himself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical.
85. Carefully choose your words. Remember to “speak the truth in LOVE.”
86. Don’t criticize him in front of others—keeping his dignity in tact.
87. Visit his childhood home with him.
88. When you’re angry, express it in respectful ways. Don’t give the silent treatment.
89. Pray for him.
90. Make him homemade soup when he’s sick.
91. Look your best—dress to honor him and make him proud to be seen with you when you’re out together.
92. Support him when someone tries to put him down. Be his best cheer leader.
93. Don’t disagree with him in front of the children.
94. Take him for a weekend get-away without the children.
95. Cheer his successes whether in business or in other areas of everyday living.
96. Graciously teach him how to demonstrate his love for you.
97. Give him coupons to redeem—maybe for a back scratch or a shoulder rub.
98. Buy him a gift certificate to his favorite lunch spot and put it in his wallet.
99. Hide notes for him around the house where only he will find them.
100. Thank him for just being himself.
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