Don't Believe The Hype

Nojma Reflects

Don’t believe the hype that Black Men have a fear of commitment or don’t have the desire to marry. The right woman can turn “I will never be a one woman man” into “I want to be with her forever“. That is the power of a beautiful, knowledgeable, Godly woman, that knows her role, isn’t auditioning for yours, knows the beauty and power of submission, doesn’t flex on her man, laces her tone with compassion instead of contempt, walks with him in this journey called life, instead of running ahead so she can claim “first place“, revives you when your energy is low, shields his weaknesses from the world but promotes his strength, she is his diary, her mind is the pages, and the love is the ink with which he writes with, her heart is where the key remains secured, what he expresses with her, STAYS with her, she provides an atmosphere that allows him to speak his pain, fears, and frustrations without judgement , allows him to be vulnerable, because he knows that this woman understands him like no one else, he knows that this woman loves him like no one else, in her spirit he sees God, in her wombs he found the path that leads to his legacy, in her arms he finds solace, in his house he finds PEACE, in her food he finds healing, in their children he sees the perfect blend of both “he and she“…….and the type of man he “never” thought he would be…..is now the type of man he has PROUDLY BECOME.

This was another beautiful read by Nojma Reflects (she has her own facebook page, do a Search and subscribe to her writing). The right woman will make ANY man want to settle down. Why wouldn't a good man want a good woman? She completes him and helps him be a better man in all areas of life. She rides for him through the good & bad, keeps him lifted up in prayer and in turn, a REAL man will not stray from the love of a good woman.

Pre-Marriage Cohabitation

http://madamenoire.com/253017/ask-a-very-smart-brotha-why-you-shouldnt-live-together-before-marriage/

This was an interesting read. Everything Damon said coincides with my view on shacking up. Biblically, shacking up is wrong because it can lead to temptation. On the other hand, cohabitation provides the couple an opportunity to test the waters. If you live with someone long enough, you find out a lot about them. It's not like a couple going out frequently and spending time together or chatting on FB, texting, IM, etc. Those may be convenient but there's nothing like spending time with someone in order to find out about them. The only way cohabitation could work is if the couple sets clear boundaries on what will & won't work, otherwise shacking could do more harm than good. From a financial standpoint, cohabitation would work because the couple can share expenses; this would especially work if the couple lives in an expensive city like New York, Miami, Boston or San Francisco. I can see why some people don't want to live together because over time you want your own space and you don't have any privacy when you're living with someone. Allow me to expand on pre-marriage cohabitation from a Biblical standpoint: If a couple is living together with intentions of fornication, then yes it's dead wrong. The following scriptures speak on this: (Acts 15:20; Romans 1:29; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13, 18; 7:2; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7). The Bible promotes complete abstinence outside of (and before) marriage. Even if a couple living together isn't sexing, the assumption is made because they're living together. In that manner, the Bible forbids pre-marriage cohabitation altogether.

Marriage related, relationships, men/women, polygyny (playlist)

The first 10 minutes of this video sums up why some men need to do their homework on the woman they're involved with. In a nutshell, he's telling men to protect themselves. Just like women need assurances, so do men.When it comes to contracts you're always supposed to read them, ESPECIALLY the fine print. If you sign off without knowing what you're getting into, you were slipping. If you were never shown any terms and had to find out the hard way in divorce court how screwed you are, you haven't done due diligence. This is why prenups are smart to protect one's assets and wealth from tomfoolery and women who scoff at them just need to hush or go find a fool and call it a day. Because men need assurances too, that everything we do for her won't be in vain. Otherwise what is the point? 

When Was Romantic Love Invented?

"We don't have any Gentlemen anymore they ones we do have its old as dirt. Teach your kids some manners"

We don't have anymore gentlemen because there are no more ladies, NEXT.

Or rather all the gentlemen went where the ladies are, and how convenient chivalry and gentlemen are brought up in moments that benefit women.

But ask a female to cook for you on the first date and they will act stuck on stupid. CHIVALRY IS DEAD. D...E....A.....D!!

Was it ever meant to be alive in the first place? chivalry started around the 12-1500's around the medieval era, right around the time romantic love came out. Romantic love is only about 800 years old. So 2013-800 is 1212. Coincidence? I think not.

Look it up at http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/Q&A-800.html

The above is an excerpt from a post I read in a group on Facebook. The aforementioned dialogue is a good indication of the state of Romantic Love. "We don't have anymore gentlemen because there are no more ladies, NEXT." That statement is spot on because some women have forgotten what being a lady is about. They have it twisted that a man is supposed to powder her butt (LOL, I love that term) while she reaps the benefits. This comes from some of their fathers raising their daughters with an entitlement complex, that a man is supposed to do this, that and the third for her. That's why some men are reluctant to get married because from a Biblical standpoint, it seems like he has to do all the work and the woman doesn't have to do nothing. No man wants to feel like he's doing all the giving without getting anything in return. Relationships go both ways. A man is supposed to ask a woman what she's bringing to the table even if he does pursue. Now, if a man asks a woman what she's bringing to the table, she gets mad. Really? A woman getting upset because a man wants reciprocation? That's the mess I don't like. This is why MEN & WOMEN need to do their due diligence before getting involved with someone. Forget about dinner & a movie, a prospective couple should sit down and have a series of conversations in order to find out what each other's views on relationships are. A person will almost always show you their stance on relationships by their conduct. Pay close attention to clues (s)he gives. Do they have an entitlement complex? Do they feel as though they should be pampered while they don't have to reciprocate? If someone shows early on that they have an entitlement complex, it's always a bad sign of things to come. I don't think there is an issue with the concept of romantic love. The issue comes from lack of reciprocity and unrealistic and hypocritical expectations. If a man's supposed to do x,y,z for her out of love, what is she supposed to be doing for you out of love? A lot of women today just give the blank stare to that question and act as if merely showing up to be catered to/provided for/protected/given benefits/let you make them happy/etc. is sufficient. But she's supposed to be willing to put in an equitable share of effort into the relationship as well. If you are dealing with someone who doesn't feel the same way about you, that's always a bad sign of BS to come. Mismatches.

Truth Be Told 2013

When peanut brain women continue to lay in the bed and spread their legs for these peanut shell minded dudes, all they'll ever end up having is a Nut!

Who's The Real Enemy?

Military men don't have to worry about the Taliban trying to take them out overseas, for some military men it's their woman they have to be cautious of because while he's fighting for his country, she's home with the kids for months on end. Depending on how loyal a miltary wife is, she may be faced with cheating temptations because her man isn't there to give her the affection she needs/wants. My thing is, it's very noble for a man to fight for his country and military men and women have my utmost respect & admiration. For a man's wife to cheat while he's overseas defending our nation's freedom is reprehensible. If she's that hard up for attention, maybe she shouldn't have gotten involved with him. When a woman is with a military man, she has to be strong enough to accept him being away for months or years at a time and be able to hold the house down in his absence. Military wives are some of the strongest women around because while their husband is serving our country, she's home running the house and making sure the kids are taken care of. Over time, some military wives get used to their husbands being away so they use his absence as "me" time. In the back of his mind, he is concerned with his wife scheming to run off with his money and children. There are many stories were men have come back from deployment to find out their wives are pregnant by another  man. He's looking crazy the entire time and probably at a loss for words. Now, he has to pay child support for a child that's not his. What kind of foolishness is that? He's fighting for his country and she decides to be a ho and spread eagle for another man.

I Don't Have Time For That Nonsense

"Nojma Reflects

Listen to the blatant hatred we exude towards Black Men. Black Men ain’t s***; Black men are dogs". With this mindset you will definitely chase black men away. Sometimes, as women, we are so harsh in how we discuss our feelings and misgivings about Black men, we forget how much they are beaten up in every other aspect of life.

We have to stop allowing our insecurity about finding a good man manifest into negative attitudes toward all black men. We ask where are all the good black men, but brothers can rightfully ask where are all the good black WOMEN?"

Some women don't want the script flipped on them. They want to be the ones asking "where are the good black men?" Good black men are all around, but they pay close attention to the belligerent antics of some black women that they refuse to deal with any drama. A real man doesn't want a drama queen because she's going to make his life miserable at every turn. I loved this message from Nojma Reflects because it was spot on. Just like good black women deserve a good man, the reverse is true for black men; they deserve a good woman that will respect & cherish them.