Kids Are So Fass

Kids Are So Fass

 

At 5 years old, sex should be the LAST thing on children's minds. Unless a 5-year old's parents have schooled them on sex, most 5-year olds don't have enough concept about sex to engage in the act, which leads me to this question: Were these kids sexually abused? I'm thinking so because I've been reading this article, and doing research. Research says if a child has been sexually abused by a relative or other closed friend, they will act out sexually with another child. Why else do you see so many twerk videos on WorldStar, YouTube and the like? These children were shown how to be fass. Everyone's coming down on the teacher, and rightfully so. With kids, you can't turn your head for one second without them doing something they have no business doing.

One of a teacher's responsibilities is to keep watch over her students, and to me, this veteran teacher knew better. She's been teaching 15 years so she should already know how kids can get into stuff. Then again, no matter if she watched them closely or not, kids are still going to find a way to get into some mess. Stories like this show how far society has fallen. Everywhere you turn, a student or teacher is caught sexing a student and that's sad. Well, when you take God out of schools what do you expect? The only thing that comes to my mind is these children had to have been abused, because what 5-year olds do you know can partake in sexual activity? Watch how some immoral people say "What's wrong with children having sex?" The fact that they're 5 shows what's wrong.

What should happen to the teacher? According to the article, she's suspended and the school board is recommending dismissal. I can't say I disagree with their recommendation. Educators, school administrators have a big responsibility to watch over hundreds of students, and the slightest infraction should be met with repercussions. If she gets dismissed, one factor is her tenure: Being a veteran teacher, the school board will say she had no business letting those kids leave her eyesight.

Has The Bible Made Women Lazy?

Yesterday, I posted a controversial statement that read: The Bible has made women lazy when it comes to pulling their weight in relationships. I feel as though the Bible has made some women lazy when it comes to pulling their weight in a relationship. Why? Let me elaborate. Many women are quick to utter her husband's responsibilities (with supporting scripture), but those same women forget her role as her husband's helpmate. Proverbs 31 is the kind of woman a wife should be to her man (and what a man should seek in a wife):

A good woman is hard to find,
and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
and brings back exotic surprises.
She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast
for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
diligent in homemaking.
She’s quick to assist anyone in need,
reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows;
their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected
when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them,
brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
her husband joins in with words of praise:
“Many women have done wonderful things,
but you’ve outclassed them all!”
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised
is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
Festoon her life with praises!

 

The responsibilities of the woman to her husband are clearly outlined in Proverbs 31. In short, a woman is to bring out the best in him, not the stress in him. Much of the discord between men and women in relationships is because of men and women not playing their positions. You have some women who want to be the leader, and men co-sign that. It took two to create a relationship, so it'll take two to make it work. Roles have to be defined and carried out, on BOTH ends. If a man is doing his job, and the woman hers, their relationship will have great influence. On another note, this blog message is to let men know the importance of being schooled on the Bible because there are some women that will twist the Bible to their benefit. They will tell a man what he should do, but conveniently leave out her role.

Declaring God's Goodness

Declare God’s Goodness

I declare that I’m blessed with God’s supernatural wisdom, and have clear direction in my life.

I declare that I’m blessed with creativity, with courage, with ability, and with abundance....

I declare that I’m blessed with a strong will and with self-control and self-discipline.

I declare that I’m blessed with a great family, with good friends, with good health, and with faith, favor, and fulfillment.

I declare that I’m blessed with success, with divine protection.

I declare that I’m blessed with an obedient heart and with a positive outlook on life.

I declare that any curse that has ever been spoken over me, any negative evil word that has ever come against me, is broken right now.

I declare that I’m blessed in the city. I’m blessed in the country. I’m blessed when I go in and out.

I declare that everything I put my hands to do is going to prosper and succeed.

I declare that I’m blessed!!!! IN JESUS 'NAME AMEN!!

Strawberry Letter: Didn't Get Any Attention, So I Cheated

Letter: I'm a 30 year old young lady. I have been talking to this guy for about ten months now. We stay a couple of hours away from each other, so we don't get to see each other as often as we like. We used to call, text and video chat all the time but now we don't any more since I gave him the cookie. So now when I try to call or text I don't get any response except when he calls or texts. So now since I'm not getting that attention from him I try and find it elsewhere. I was intimate with someone close to him and three other guys he doesn't know. SMH. We talked about it; I told him how I feel and he told me I need to earn his trust, and that I have some making up to do. Please!!! Mr. Harvey and Mrs. Shirley, what should I do to make it up to him and earn his trust?

 

No No Nooooooo! She gave him the cooch, and now he got ghost. Why does this strawberry letter seem so familiar? Because it happens too often in relationships. A woman and man are getting to know each other, and she feels comfortable enough with him to give him some pie. After the man has eaten her pie, he's ghost. He has no reason to stay around because he got his, and that's that. Her first mistake was giving him the pie too early on. Then again, women know within minutes of meeting a man if they're going to sleep with him so maybe she was so attracted to him that she felt that connection. Since they live 2 hours away, they could've made time to see each other. You make time for what's important, and she wasn't important enough to him.

What makes it so bad, is she goes out and cheats on this man. Why do women do this mess, cheat because her man's not giving her attention. Two wrongs don't make a right. Just because he wasn't giving her attention shouldn't have gave her the green light to cheat. She made herself look bad by being a ho, and now she wants to make it up to him. This relationship is toxic all the way around because she's sexing other men, and he's not giving her the time of day. If he's not giving her the time of day, it can mean one thing: He's also cheating. Think about it, if a woman gave a man some, most men would be sprung and want to continue getting to know her.

I can appreciate her wanting to make things right, so the first thing she needs to do is fess up, and be ready for any repercussions. Yes, he will be upset but at least he'll respect her for telling him straight up. Then again, some women are better cheaters than men because they don't broadcast their exploits. Can she blame him for being upset? She shouldn't, because even though he was at fault for not being more attentive, she was wrong for going behind his back. She needs to do whatever it takes to make things right, and HE needs to give his woman the attention she needs. If a woman feels a lack of attention from her man, she will seek it elsewhere.

 

 



Weak Men DO NOT Run From Conflict

Weak Men DO NOT run from conflict

 

If you've been watching Atlanta Housewives then you know about the Kandi & Todd situation. In a nutshell, Kandi is letting Mama Joyce run her relationship. She talks crazy to Todd and Kandi doesn't defend her man. First off, if a parent is talking crazy to someone's (wo)man, it's the fiancee's duty to defend their mate. I commend Todd for staying around for as long as he has, because not too many men would tolerate disrespect. A man will not stay with a woman that allows her parents to disrespect him, and she doesn't check them. I'm not saying disrespect your parents, but put them in their place with love. Mama Joyce has issues, for real. Supposedly, Mama Joyce is worried about Kandi's money.

The reason Mama Joyce meddles in Kandi's relationship is because she feels Todd is trying to come up off Kandi. Kandi made it clear that she has no problem, because she has love for her man. If you love your (wo)man, you'll fight for them. You won't let ANYONE (parents included) talk crazy to your mate because you respect them that much. Todd has his own money, so why would he want Kandi's? That's crazy to me. If Todd was trying to live off Kandi, he wouldn't have nothing for himself. Todd would be spending Kandi's money (hint hint Peter and Greg). Todd said it himself that he's not impressed by Kandi's money.

How much can a man take? There comes a time where a man must make a decision whether to stay and endure the WORSE of an engagement relationship, or cut losses. If a woman refuses to check her parents, he's within his right to do so. Problem is, the (wo)man will get upset at him/her for talking loud to the parents. Maybe (s)he wouldn't have to check your parents if you would. According to some women, a man is weak if he runs from conflict. The same women who say a man is weak if he runs from this conflict, are the same ones that want him to deal with all of her mess. What these women DON'T tell you is that she won't tolerate HIS mess.

A strong man knows when to hold, and when to fold. A weak man will ALWAYS...always tolerate disrespect from a woman that's supposed to honor him, because he "loves her". Ok, let me know how that works out for you. Thank God I have sense enough to duck out if I sense a potential issue.

 

You Make Me Happy Baby

 

Relationships are about reciprocity. The man does for his woman, she reciprocates. Today's women have it twisted. According to the modern woman, the man is supposed to do all the giving. If the man is doing all the giving, she's doing the taking. It's that one-sided approach women have that turn men off from relationships. I see why a lot of men expect the woman to prove herself first because he doesn't want to be used, as he shouldn't. Men who give their all to a woman without expectation of reciprocation are setting themselves up to be taken advantage of. Even in relationships, people don't REALLY show their true selves. They have fathers that treat them like princesses that she looks for someone just like her dad. Fathers who DO NOT teach their daughters how to cater to a man are doing them a disservice because she will meet a man that although he doesn't mind catering to her, he expects the same treatment.

The common denominator in relationship discussions is women. Women want to have all the standards, they want to dictate how the relationship will work, and if a man isn't doing what she wants, she's out the door. DUECES! If a woman leaves because a man won't let her use him, she did him a huge favor. Why would a man want that migraine in his life? That's silly. Some men need to stop buying into the propaganda of "happy wife, happy life. Any man with a brain would expect to be treated like a king, especially if he's treating his woman like a queen. That's how relationships are supposed to work. Ultimately, happiness is the individual's responsibility. No (wo)man is supposed to make you happy, that's your job. However, if you're with a person that's adding stress to your life, get rid of them with no explanation. Life is too short to be miserable in your own home. The person you're with should be a safe haven from the nonsense of society.

 In closing, I want to share a brief story to wrap all this up: A Facebooker by the name of Aries Immortal posted this story: I would probably have never approached my current girlfriend because she didn't match my "norm". But she approached me and showed me her heart and EARNED my trust without question. She knew at first sight she wanted to devote herself to me. She saw me as her husband and approached our relationship as such. She has set the standard I will JUDGE ALL WOMEN BY. Only fools pray for husbands, smart women actually do something about it.

 

 

 



Blame It On The Alcohol

Letter:

Dear Steve and Shirley, this letter is deep, because its true. My husband of 25 years came home at 5am on Christmas Eve, which was unusual for him to come home at that time. I was up waiting when he arrived and he stated he must talk to me because he is "No longer in love with me." I sat in shock and listened and said, "Okay." I left the room and he left the house. He came home on Christmas morning. I was up waiting and he said he'd cheated and we have had a 25 year run and again, he's no longer IN love, but after 25 years, he "loved" me. Again in shock, I said, "Okay". Upon finding out that he was no longer in love with me, I set out to make plans to leave him and our home, realizing this was over. I have moved out and I'm taking one day at a time to heal. Now 3 weeks later, he is calling my cell phone crying, saying he didn't mean what he said and he was depressed and had a break down. He said the cheating was due to him drinking alcohol and it happened 3 years ago. As you can tell from my demeanor, we have had disturbing conversations before - "blame it on the alcohol." Morning crew, can you blame me for moving on and ending this menage trio with my husband, alcohol and myself?

 

 

When I read today's Strawberry Letter, this song came to mind. Why is it that when someone cheats, they always blame it on the alcohol? If anyone has an answer for me, please let me and the rest of the world know. True, alcohol does play a factor in infidelity because it lowers your judgment, so that's  why someone should NOT indulge in alcohol. People are going to do what they want, so let them *shrug*. Reading situations like this just confirms that some people don't KNOW their partner like they think. It's easy to tell someone what they want to hear when getting to know them. Once a couple gets married, that's when true colors show.

It's important to KNOW your (wo)man. Even in knowing your partner, you can't be with them 24 hours a day. You don't know what your spouse is doing when they're not with you. All you can do is trust them to do right by you. It's amazing that intoxication reveals a person's true colors. If she has one iota of sense, she will NOT entertain the thought of taking him back. He cheated! That's all the proof she needs to keep moving forward. Everyone screws up, I understand that. You can forgive a person and not keep them around, because in taking them back, the next opportunity to cheat that arises, they're going to jump on that.

He calls her on the phone crying and begging for her to take him back. Textbook move: A man that's cheated on his woman pulls that emotional card every time. Why wouldn't his woman take him back? Some women are suckers for emotional men, and men play on that. There's one issue: Many men manipulate women with those same tears just to get back on her good side. Once he's on her good side, the next opportunity that arises for him to cheat, he takes it. I want to congratulate her on moving on from this guy. He already cheated on her once, and she's not about to give him the green light to do it again.

 



Real Talk in 140 Characters or less

1. Why are some women quick to use the Bible to tell what a man should be doing? "The Bible says..." or "My Pastor says...." Your Pastor is not your man, although many women like to think so.

2. The Bible does outline a man's responsibilities, but it also says what the woman should do as well. They (women) won't talk about that.

3. Attention Ladies: Idris Elba IS NOT your man, so stop sharing or posting photos of him on social media.

4. Listening to Al Green's Lay It Down song with Anthony Hamilton tells me one thing: Music is not the same as when my parents were coming up. Al Green, Curtis Mayfield, Four Tops, Detroit Spinners, etc. *Sigh*

5. Some women can twerk, but they don't know how to make a simple meal. Jesus Doesn't Love Them.

6. Some posts I read about relationships on Facebook tell me one thing: Some people aren't cut out for a committed relationship. Relationships involve give & take, and most people can't handle that.

7. Women with no goals expect to land a successful man. That's bananas. A successful man is looking for a woman to HELP him continue to build, not hold him back.

8. There can only be one woman in a relationship, fellas that cannot be you.

9. There can only be one man in a relationship, ladies that should not be you.

10. I thank God for an avalanche of breakthrough. My prayer is that I stay ready.

11. Adam was the biggest fool for letting Eve trick him into eating that fruit!

12. Unless Carmelo Anthony is willing to leave the Knicks, I don't see him winning a championship in New York. He needs to do what Lebron and Bosh did, and go where he has a greater chance of winning an NBA title. He's got the talent.

13. The Bulls should be slapping themselves for paying Derrick Rose all that money, only for him to go down twice with a knee injury. I'm not mad at D.Rose because he's sitting on money. He doesn't have to do any work on the court.

14. When you have two strong-minded people in a relationship, there will be conflict because each person will want their own way.

15. Let a man be a man? You can't LET someone be what they already are.



Making The Investment: By Violet Essence

A Facebook friend of mine who is also an avid blogger wrote on this subject. Click the link to view:

 

Making The Investment: By Violet Essence

Hard Lessons Learned

Throughout my 33 years of life, I've seen a lot so I'm qualified to share some tough lessons I've learned over the years:

 

1. "If you want a friend, be a friend". I used to think this was true, but not anymore. You can go out of your way to be friends with a person, but some people refuse to like you. Keep it moving.

2. You can become successful through hard work-Again, false. In the business world, you advance by sucking up to management or being cutthroat.

3. Fathers & sons will naturally be close-100% False. Some fathers know nothing about their children. A father's job is to speak life into his children, not criticize them.

4. People Stay Married-Wrong.com. With no-fault divorce, people are quick to divorce over petty reasons. It's a surprise when I read about a couple that's been married for 50+ years.

5. We are told that everyone deserves trust, but not everyone can be trusted.

6. You're born alone, you'll live alone, and you'll die alone.

7. I'm my own best company. I spend so much time solo, it's become second nature. Those who don't accept it, that's their problem.

8. God is the only friend I'll ever need. Unlike people, God will not lie on you, or mistreat you.

9. A husband and wife are wearing I love My (Wo)man shirts, but the woman is performing fellatio on another man. It's a dirty world.

10. More than ever before, children are a lot more mean. There was a time when bullying didn't exist.

11. The Bible has made some women lazy. A woman will always use the Bible to justify why she doesn't have to do any work in a relationship.

12. I'm about peace in my life, which explains why I have extremely low tolerance for drama.

13. I can cut a person loose and not think twice.

14. It takes a lot for me to open up to people. Until I feel comfortable in opening up to someone  new, they'll get small talk.

15. I don't force anyone to like me. If you like me, good. If not, exit stage left.

The Popularity Of The AK-47

 

This is a picture of an AK-47, also known as a "chopper" among the inner-city black community. AK-47s are relied on by gangs and hood stars to cause carnage in black communities. Research murder cases in inner-city ghettos across America and what do they have in common? The AK-47 assault rifle was used in the carnage. I can see why AK's are so popular because of their 100-round capabilities (some versions you can shoot up to 600 rounds a minute). Someone shooting an AK can do serious damage in a short amount of time. New Orleans in particular, is known as Chopper City because of the abundance of assault rifles that flow through New Orleans daily. Going further, Chopper City has been adopted by New Orleans' Uptown ghetto, where it's necessary to own an assault rifle for survival. AK's were first used by military servicemen, and somehow they got into the wrong hands.

I remember the North Hollywood shootout where 2 gunmen sprayed police with AK-47 gunfire. Over 130 rounds were fired and you swore it was the Wild West. The two gunmen died in the same gunfire they sprayed because one of the LA officers fired rounds of his own into him. In January 2009, 9 people were shot and 3 died in Miami's Liberty City. A group of people were shooting dice at a duplex on NW 70th St & 15th Ave (down the street from Northwestern High) when a gunman opened fire with an AK-47. Some of the shooting victims had their faces completely torn off from the bullets. A similar incident happened in Overtown a couple months later, except that there were 3 gunmen, one of which had an AK. That incident, 12 people were shot and 4 died. These are a couple instances in which the AK-47 was used as the murder weapon. There are too many assault rifles floating around major cities, which contributes to the escalation of the murder rates.

You can listen to ghetto rap and there will be a few mentions of spraying enemies with AK-47 fire, or you can go on YouTube and view live footage of ghetto residents showing off their AK's, shotguns or Tec-9's. The AK seems to be the weapon of choice to use in street wars. They've given hood guys a sort of swagger like they can't be touched, because their "chopper" will do damage to clowns.



Why Go Back?

When God brings you out of a mess, why go back? That makes no sense to me. Remembering the frustration is enough for me and other likeminded folks NOT to go back. I'm about moving forward in life, and I can't move forward if I'm busy going back in the same mess I got out of. Here's an example: You made that last payment which means you're debt free. Anyone who's been out of debt will tell you the work it took to get out of debt: Reducing expenses, having to work 2 jobs to generate extra income, etc. They enjoy debt-free status because they have no financial worries. If they want to take a vacation, they can do so free & clear. While I hate to see people wrapped in mess, I also believe that if they've gotten out of a situation, they SHOULD NOT want to be in the same spot. I've been in mess before, and once God delivered me, I didn't return.

Then again, some people want to return to the same mess they've gotten out of. Why? Your answer is good as mine. When you're trapped in a bad situation, you're taking steps to get out. At first, your motivation is high because you're hustling everyday to see that light at the end of the tunnel. Once a certain amount of time passes, you become desensitized to your situation that once you make it out, you're like "Ok...and?" It's like some people don't know how to handle brighter days, because they're used to trouble. They miss the struggle, so they sabotage their success by making foolish moves. Some people play games with God by praying for a way out, and when he gives them a way, they sabotage their exit by being content in their struggle.

Don't ask God to deliver you, if you're going to sabotage your exit strategy. By sabotage, I mean throwing yourself a pity party. That may work temporarily, but it will fail long term because people will get tired of you coming to them and you don't take heed.



What Happened?

What happened between, "You're so awesome", "Princess you're everything I've prayed for", "Honey you're everything I've always wanted and more", "Sweetheart, I think about you all day", "I pray for you everyday", "When I get up in the morning, you're the first person that's on my mind", "I love you more than you' ll ever know", "Baby, you mean the world to me" that lead to you and that person not speaking anymore or to, "I hate you", "I wish we never met", "You make me sick", "I never want to see you again", "Don't call me again". I mean, how does a person come from being everything you've always wanted to being everything that you never wanted?

 

My Answer: Life happened. The person put their best foot forward and it backfired. While you should present the best version of yourself, keep it real. Let someone know pisses you off, because they won't be caught off guard when you're at your worst. If someone can't handle you at your worst, keep it moving. You have nothing to be ashamed of by showing the bad side of who you are. We all have our not-so-good areas about ourselves. It's funny how representatives are the first one to show up. What is a representative? In this instance, a representative shows up in place of the person to put in a good light. After the representative has shown up, the real person is left in all their flaws. It's important to not be fooled by the representative. Allow the person to get to know the real you and vice versa.

I'm all for putting your best foot forward, but many people value honesty in their mate. They want their (wo)man to keep it real as much as possible. Let them know your good and bad side, and the right person will respect that. Some people want to see no wrong in their spouse, so they want a cookie-cutter, perfect version of their mate. There are people who respond to that, and that's fine; to each their own. The interesting part about this story is that it's exactly how relationships start: Baby you're the greatest turns into I want a divorce. People rush into relationships and become blinded by the person's true colors. Once (s)he shows their true colors, you're stuck trying to figure out how to respond. This wouldn't have happened if both parties were honest from the start. Honesty is always the best policy when it comes to relationships.

Allow people to show you who they are, don't get caught up in the representative. When people allow themselves to fall in love with the representative, they may not like what they eventually discover.

 



I Sexed My Boss

 

This story involves a high-ranking executive and his female subordinate. Read on: This very handsome broker has been flirting with me ever since I started working at this major commercial real estate company downtown. he would always make a point to stop by my desk, ask me out to lunch, with the entire group, and make excuses to give me the best work assignments. Last week we were both working late in the office, I was at the copy machine, I wore a short skirt that day, he came up behind me, and pushed me over the copy machine and made hard, passionate love to me. I did not stop him. Over the weekend I thought about it. Can I sue and get a few million? I don't want to ruin his career but I need the money. Will the company give me a large settlement out of court?

 

Her boss tore her behind up, literally; now she wants to sue? This is the mess I don't like. The interesting thing is that she could come up off this, because it's her word against his. She didn't say no, so she must have liked it. He's showing her all this attention, so what did she expect? She had to have known he was coming to collect, and did he ever. The clues are there: She wore a short skirt, and he pushed her over the copy machine and started making love. By her dress alone, she wanted something to go down. This is why people SHOULD NOT get involved with their co-workers because too much can go wrong. Yet & still, somebody will disregard sound wisdom and get caught up in some mess. I have no sympathy for people who willingly jam themselves up. What happened to learning from others' mistakes?

If they were going to mess around, they should've kept it professional while at work. Common sense tells you not to eat where you work. Simply put, don't get involved with someone you work with. Not many work romances are successful because of the cutthroat nature of the business world. Everybody wants to be CEO, so they're going to step on people to get there. You're eyeing that hot executive and so far things go smooth, until you two are competing for a C-Suite position (she's Executive Director and he's VP of Operations). He gets the COO position over her and she's jealous, so she starts to frame him for sexual harassment. He's found guilty and is placed on leave with pay until the matter is settled. Still, you're going to check for someone at work? Use the brain God gave you. Like the classic B.B. King song says: The Thrill Is Gone, the thrill is gone away.

In closing, I hope people learn that it's not worth it to get involved with a colleague because you don't know someone's true colors until you get accolades they felt deserving of. What makes things complicated is you sleeping your way to the top.



Knowing What You Want

You're not supposed to go through broken relationships to know what you want. You should know what you want from the start. This status generated an interesting discussion on my page, so let me post a few comments from me and Latasha Primus' back & forth session:

 

Latasha Primus Now I must disagree (for a change lol) ... I didn't know what I wanted until I was in a relationship. Doesn't matter if it was broken or not, but I learned about myself and what I could and couldn't deal with.

Richard Hudson Observation works wonders. This very mindset is how families get destroyed. People are so used to failed relationships that they look at someone crazy that's able to pinpoint what they want from Day 1, and refuse to settle. It's actually a shock to some people when a person is able to pick the right person on the first try. Discernment is a blessing.

Latasha Primus I agree with that. You just don't want to discourage anyone when saying that people should know from the beginning without ever having been through a relationship or even dating. I get what you're saying, but how do you know what you like and what you don't unless you have experienced it? I am not talking about the majors like respect and honesty, but something as simple as personality types. Discernment is a blessing that comes through learning and practice.

Richard Hudson Again, I pay attention. I observe others' relationships to get an idea of what I do and don't like in a woman. Reading some of these rants from men and women in these Relationship groups teaches me what NOT to do...lol. Discernment can come through learning & practice, but...it's something we're born with. If you're meeting someone for the first time and as you get to know them, something about them isn't right; that's discernment kicking in trying to let you know that to proceed with caution.

Latasha Primus Just to be clear I don't think people should enter in relationships without having basic rules and boundaries. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries....

 

People can save themselves a lot of heartache if they would establish early on what will & won't work for them. Discernment is key. Like my FB friend Tasha stated, basic rules & boundaries should be established from the start. You don't want to leave someone guessing about their stance with you.

 

 



Hood 2 Hood

Hood 2 Hood is a DVD series that takes you through some of the nation's most dangerous neighborhoods on the East & West Coasts, Midwest & The South. In this DVD series, you have interviews with real drug dealers, gangsters and hustlers who talk about what goes on in their neighborhood, a little about their life, etc. Some of these guys are bold enough to show automatic weapons on camera WITH police in close range. The thing is, these guys have no fear of the law because with their profits from hustling, they can afford a top notch defense. This one group of drug dealers were riding in a nice Chrysler 600 and when the producer was chatting with them, the hustler showed him $75,000 in 2 cases. One briefcase had $50K, the other had $25K. The producer chimes in with statements like "In the hood, some people carry with the intent to kill," etc.

In every Hood 2 Hood DVD I've seen, there's one common denominator: A group of guys talking about how real it is where they live, anybody can get it, they tote iron, all their friends squeeze (shoot), etc. When you're living the thug life, you have to be tough because you're marked for death. You're fighting with dudes in your own hood, rival hoods, etc. so you never know when someone will shoot you down. That's why I couldn't be into the streets full-force, it's too risky. When you don't have hope, you'll look for it in the streets. Even some of the OG's (Original Gangsters) will tell these young cats that you may love the streets, but the streets don't love you. What they mean is that a young brother gives their life for the streets expecting something in return. The streets will give you nothing but jail or death, because at some point your criminal exploits will catch up with you.

Many of the characters in the Hood 2 Hood DVD series were murdered. I remember a story of a 17-year old gangster who showed $100,000 on camera and was bragging about getting money from hustling. Not even a day passed when some guys kicked in his door and put an AK to him demanding where the money is. Soon as they got the money, one of the gunmen shot him. Do I think Hood 2 Hood DVDs glorify carnage in black communities? Yes and No. Yes, because from the statements made, it sounds like the participants are glorifying death & destruction. No, because anyone who's lived in an inner-city neighborhood can tell you about daily life in the hood. Some inner-city residents are sick of the violence, but they can't afford to move anywhere else.

Men & Women Can('t) Be Friends

How many men are comfortable with their woman having plenty of male friends? Very few, if any. The reason I say that is because men are hunters. We're looking for that weak moment in a woman's life, and once we find it, it's over for her. Think about it, a woman is engaged to be married and she has several close male friends who she's known for years (a few of them she grew up with, and are like brothers to her). She confides in them when she can't talk to her man about what's going on. These men check on her twice a week, comment on her Facebook/Instagram pictures, etc. They've asked her from time to time if she was single, does she see herself with them long-term, and she says yes. Each man adds something of value to her life, which makes it tough for her to choose which friend she would see herself with long-term. The main reason I feel men and women can't be friends is that secretly, men want to sleep with their lady friend(s).

In some circles, if a man is friends with attractive women, he secretly wants to sex them. He'll throw little hints here & there in the form of suggestive comments, flirtatious behavior, doing something extra special for her birthday, etc. That type of behavior is reserved for an exclusive couple. Here's a simple test that men and women can use to test this theory: Let a woman offer her closest male friend sex, and watch how he reacts. If he accepts the offer, the theory is proven that men and women CAN'T be friends. If he refuses, she trusts him not to make a move on her even though she put him in a compromising situation. I'm not saying all men and women can't be friends without sleeping together, but a good portion of them can't. If a man and woman have been friends forever, feelings will develop because of their history together. They've seen each other at their worst and best, know things about each other that they haven't shared with family or other friends, etc.



Timeshare: How To Be A Woman

Today's topic comes from How To Be A Woman's Lotus (she's also a friend of mine). She admonishes ladies to stop treating their palace like a timeshare. Read on:

 

How to Be a Woman

Ladies, Are you treating your vagina like a "timeshare?" Allow me to break down exactly what I mean. A timeshare is a program in which a group of people shares use of a property by dividing among themselves the rights to use a property for specific time periods. If you're having sex with multiple men and allowing them to enter your body, this is in essence what you're doing. You may be swapping bodily fluids with this one this week or month and with that one the next week or month. Some females like to label it as sexual freedom. But, in reality, it's sexual promiscuity, sexual irresponsibility and it's nasty. Call it like it is. Having multiple sexual partners isn't the conduct of a quality woman, but the behavior of a trifling female. It's downright disgusting. Quality men aren't interested in timeshares. They want a home they can call their own. And if you're a quality woman, you should too.ℓσтυѕ

I've Got My (Wo)man, The work stops

What you do to get someone, won't be what you do to keep them. You're getting to know someone, and you're vibing with them. She's digging him, he's feeling her. They decide to become exclusive. As time passes, the couple becomes complacent because they've done the work to get each other, so they feel nothing more needs to be done. As the saying goes, what you did to get him/her, do the same to keep them. I can't argue with this because it's easy to get your dream (wo)man, it's hard to keep them. Couples must be willing to keep their relationship fresh by any means necessary. Do date nights, rekindle the first time you two met, etc. Real couples know the work begins after a couple becomes exclusive, not this play-play nonsense most people are into.

Why does the work begin AFTER a couple becomes exclusive? It's easy, life happens. Loss of a parent/loved one, unemployment, life-threatening illness, etc. Those scenarios will rock the most solid couples. A relationship is tested when life's storms hit you back to back. Can you two stand firm in your union, or will you fold at the first sign of adversity? Many couples are quick to end their union over the first sign of adversity. That's a sign that some people aren't cut out for marriage. Even though the Bible says it's not good for man to be alone, and God will create a helpmate suitable for him; the divorce rate would say otherwise. How a spouse reacts to adversity is an indicator of how suitable a mate they would be.

The work doesn't stop once you get your (wo)man, it's just beginning. As the work begins, the couple must always be on the same page. You never know what curve balls life will throw your way. In choosing a partner, tough questions must be asked. If they respond well, you have a keeper. If not, find someone who's willing to fight hard for you as you are for them.