Go Pastor!

One of the gripes many men have with women who attend church is church women don't know how to think for themselves. They're quick to utter what the pastor said instead of thinking for themselves. Here's an example: Yesterday's broadcast by Tony Evans (an evangelist) was admonishing men. He says: Today's men are feminized. They react to situations just like a woman, and that should not be. Mention men's issues, you get Amens & Hallelujah's; mention women's issues, you get deflection & combativeness. I've noticed a trend: When pastors admonish men for lack of responsibility, women shout him down; that pastor gets on the ladies, crickets chirping. Some women are all for pastors getting on wayward men, but when the script is flipped, there's a problem. Maybe that's why men want nothing to do with church, because men are hip to games. They know that pastors tailor their messages to gain women's approval. Because women make up the majority of the church's congregation, it makes sense to speak in favor of the majority. The issue is over time, you feel convicted for telling people what they want to hear, instead of what they need to hear. The minute a pastor REALLY starts telling the truth, that's when church membership declines. If pastors started getting on wayward women like they do the men, watch church membership drop by over half. That's not going to happen because some pastors are shook by women. Women will listen to preachers talk about what men aren't doing, but they won't listen to a woman televangelist who admonishes them. Ironic.

Take It Up With God

If someone has a problem with your blessing, take it up with the Lord. The Lord blesses everyone as he sees fit, so your blessing may not be the same as another's. That's my issue with people; they want to hate on another's blessing. Why be jealous of someone's blessing? Maybe if you would be faithful & obedient, you can be blessed. There's ample blessings for everyone. I find it hilarious that the moment someone gets their blessing, side comments erupt "(S)he thinks (s)he's all that, who does (s)he think (s)he is, etc." The side comments make the recipient feel as though they should be ashamed of their breakthrough; like they don't deserve God's blessings. I'm here to tell you: Don't be ashamed of your blessing if you've worked hard to get it. That's what you're supposed to do, work hard for yours. If others don't like it, that's their problem and not yours. I don't know about you, but God's got blessings coming my way because of my faithfulness & obedience, and I'm not dummying down my breakthrough for nobody. Knowing what I've sacrificed for my breakthrough, makes it that special. I'm not going to act too good for anybody, but I shouldn't be made to feel bad for being blessed. Being blessed doesn't have to include material posessions (although they are a by-product). Being blessed means your child(ren) is spared from all generational curses, your children's children are going to live off the foundation of blessing you've set for them, etc. Your own friends & family can be most envious of your blessing, because THEY didn't get it. One thing I've learned is that not everyone will celebrate your blessing, or they will celebrate your blessing while hating on the low. That's why it's important to keep your blessing to yourself. You don't have to tell everyone how or why you got blessed. If you do tell, only let the RIGHT people know about your breakthrough, and keep it moving. Remember, not everyone is happy in your prosperity.

What's Wrong With Submission: By Kip Brooks

I'm in a Facebook relationship group called Rebirth, and a member Kip Brooks posted the following question: Why do some women look at submission in such a negative light? What's wrong with submitting? Check out the responses.

 

Richard Hudson Some women submit to the wrong men, and when a stand-up guy comes along that is leading in a beneficial manner, she doesn't know what to do. Also, many women equate submission with being a doormat. When a woman submits to her man, she's far more likely to get what she wants from him.

　

April McLemore I think when submission is heard there are a number of things that can come to mind and not many are pleasant. It takes a STRONG person to submit and not all men want a submissive partner. I prefer to collaborate lol--let's share in the discussion on what's best for us/our family and allow me to feel heard and that my opinion is valued.... THEN we can make the best decision

　

Kip Brooks April McLemore So is your collaboration the same as or similar to submission

　

T Lavon Lawrence Two problems. A) Submission is not practically defined. B ) The one demanding submission hasn't justified himself as worthy. When you tell someone that their life and their destiny should be second to yourself you had better damned well be capable and able to do something profound with the gift that's given to you.

April McLemore Kip Brooks how do you define submission...Put it in your words for me

 

Twanna Gill I don't think many women have as many issues with the act of submission as they do with the word itself. The word can make some feel as their mate will look at them as "less than," that what they bring to the table isn't of importance. And that's where the problems begin...

Along with residual baggage from past relationships. To submit in many ways is the ultimate show off trust. Takes time to build that.

And it's my belief that women submit to husbands & not boyfriends... can't allow someone to lead your life if he hasn't thought enough of you to make you his family

 

T Lavon Lawrence When you survey most dudes, that's not the definition of submission. An honest survey of most cats will find submission to be a woman utterly sacrificing her own being and will for the sake of a fellow who simply wants his selfish, sexual desires satisfied in whatever way or whim he's feeling at the moment; secondly, to live HIS life the way HE wants it irregardless of how it affects her or her future - an entirely selfish - not SELFLESS- way of being. I would no sooner recommend any woman submit to the typical modern man than for her to throw herself off a cliff and hope for a comfortable landing.

　

Lovely Day The right man makes all the difference!!!

 

Kim Ward One thing that I have seen in successful relationships is there is not this strict adherence to gender roles. My ex loved doing laundry. Who was I to argue? I have a few male friends that do most of the cooking in their relationships. It was not a matter of their wives not knowing how to cook. They were either better at it or simply enjoyed cooking. I think we have to be careful with labeling things as hard or easy. Those definitions are going to vary relationship to relationship and person to person.

 

April McLemore My man is a good at being a provider....meaning he provides a solid income--but so do I. We've been dating for several years but don't live together. I've purchased 2 homes while in this relationship. I bought my "dream home" last year because it's what I wanted. My man is from the Bronx and I don't think he has ever cut grass a day in his life! I have Mario and he maintains my yard and landscaping. I can fit a toilet faster than he every could--he often asks for my help with household things because he knows I either know how or am willing to try. We both HIRED painters to paint our homes lol... I'll always pay the household bills because I have a system...When we combine households we will be EQUAL partners and will pay bills based off of our income (percent wise) as Suze Orman recommends because it's FAIR. I'm far too independent to be a dependent to him and he doesn't want or respect that. He wants a woman that has her own and compliments him. He tells me often that he loves that about me...I'm a hustler and go get what I want.

 

T Lavon Lawrence Kip Brooks - A strong man (not fake strength, but real internal strength of mind and spirit, because that is the ONLY true strength a man can have) doesn't have to worry about any woman on earth being able to emasculate him, no matter how big a motor mouth a woman might have. Women who act that way appear weak (and they sense their weakness) in the presence of such a man, just as a weak man's lack of strength feels magnified inside himself when he's keeping the company of a woman who has a stronger Will than he. I've never known a man who possessed genuine strength who had to demand that a woman submit to him. I've never met a man who had to demand that women submit to him who had genuine strength. Too many cats want to be acknowledged as leaders without being leaders. If he has his act together and if his way of being, of doing, and of walking through this life is of a higher nature - if his Will is right - most women sense that kind of thing and will either avoid a relationship with him because they don't want the responsibility of trying to keep up or they'll prefer that kind of man because he's thorough in that regard. Now, a motormouth, stubborn woman will never, ever get along with that kind of a man because his light will always expose her weakness, so she will seek out a guy with a weaker will the relationship to whom allows her to continue being a miserable person with an illusion of control. While a man of weak will who wants to be given a free pass of dominance will never get along with a woman who has a will of her own because she'll always see right through his bullshit.

 

Kip Brooks Again great take T T Lavon Lawrence. I've never looked at relationships from that prospective. I've never seen a positive in being domineering, or unaccountable to my family. However I do know several strong intelligent women and have witnessed men whither in their presence lol! It's like watching a crime being committed. It's happened before you can lift a finger to stop it. Some of these women I've seen unintentionally run men off with their strength. Some rebel against true submission because they view it as a weakness. They are so concerned with not appearing weak to the point that they can loose some of their femininity. So where I do see and agree with your point, I've also seen women needlessly ruin good things.

　

Shemika Brown Just playing devils advocate here and i think that these women who try to emasculate men are sometimes stuck in their mode of having to do everything for themselves, be nurturing but masculine in rearing the kids either don't know how to switch it off or may be testing these men... I mean after all if I am keeping my ship afloat for 10 years and someone comes along that I am submit to I have to be certain that he will always have me and my kids interest at heart...even before his own.

　

T Lavon Lawrence Precisely, Shemika Brown - and sensitive dudes who may not ACTUALLY have what it takes get offended when you tell them that before you turn over the reins they need to show and prove themselves to be excellent drivers.

　

Jenita Brown Carter Being independent has NOTHING to do with submission. ITS THE MAN that you allow/ wish to submit to. I love to submit....I love going back to my roots and the way I was raised...I love feeling of that connection and having that MAN around that warrants my submission. The key is THE MAN. IS he your king....IS he your leader...can you and should you submit....IS he leading your family down the right path.....are you safe in keeping everything you have unto him?!?! This is the REAL question cause a lot of YOU think you are ready to lead a family but YOU haven't released those "childish ways" yet. YOU aren't ready to be FOLLOWED! If your GTA5 means more to you than quality time with your spouse....THEN YOU AREN'T READY!!! Are YOU ready to be submitted to is the REAL QUESTION!!! IJS

　

Shemika Brown and I second it Jenita Brown Carter, that single mother goes without a lot of hairdo's and nail appointments, and she want's to make sure when the new foams come out, you're gonna pay the light bill

　

Jenita Brown Carter Tell that Shemika!!! Girl I have had TOO many niggas wanting submission but wanna also talk about the new J's when their car needs a new transmission. SMGDH!!! Get your priorities together and THEN I MIGHT CONSIDER SUBMISSION

Lovely Day Some men have that way about them that make you feel like you would do anything they ask and run to do it.

Shemika Brown ^^^^^^^^^EXACTLY!!^^^^^^^^

　

Elusive Sapphire Submission is not something that everyone is entitled to.

The ones that complain the most about it being absent are normally the ones that don't deserve it.
Once you are trusted as head of household, things are no longer about what YOU want or what is YOUR destiny.
You and your spouse are a unit. You are to love her as you love yourself. Her concerns are your concerns. Her dreams in your dreams. Her safety and well being is the your priorities. Her happiness is your happiness.
You no longer live your life to please yourself. You have a family to consider at every decision making opportunity. When you have a choice to make is not about you. It's about what's going to be best for everyone involved in that decision.
Submission will come naturally because she know did you have to answer to every aspect and you're not only looking for what's best for you but what' s also best for her and her family.
It's not about sandwiches and agreeing to every brass decision that's made.

　

Jenita Brown Carter I will run this house until someone shows me that they can do it RIGHT!!! Until then..................BOY BYE!!! I need a MAN!!!! #Albert LOL!

　

Lovely Day And you definitely don't get it just because of gender!

　

Kip Brooks I'm starting to understand. It would appear to me that submission is looked at so negatively because the choice of mate may be a poor one! Most family men I now don't get excited about the release of a new Jordan shoe. Most men I know get excited about transmissions and cylinders, Ferragamo's or Stacey Adams. I'm noticing a trend where women give several reasons not to submit but they pick men to fit the narrative, or the cost benefit coefficient is out of whack. It's one thing to call a man weak. It's another to just plain be an ungrateful handful that runs even the best of men away.

　

T Lavon Lawrence Kip Brooks - there's a whole lotta that running on around here where I live. Women callin' out guys but when the right guy shows up they can't shut down their own drama long enough to let that guy be what he can be for her, and off he goes down the road shaking his head wondering why he ever wasted his time trying so hard to walk the right path while other dudes couldn't give a damn and just go the Mack and Playa route. Good Dudes around here are perplexed with that confusion they get from the opposite sex.

My View: The consensus of this post is that a woman shouldn't submit to a man if he hasn't proven himself worthy. Many women have held it down solo for so long that they aren't ready to give up the reigns to a man unless they know he has his stuff together.



I Don't Need The Church

You want to hear some funny mess? More Christians are leaving the church, and deciding to be more "independent" in their walk with God. The first thought that comes to my mind is some Christians don't want accountability. It's easier to leave the church so you won't have to be accountable to other believers. Each believer is responsible for their own walk with God, but the Bible forbids forsaking assembly with his children. Corporate prayer is powerful just like individual prayer because all believers are on one accord. When two or three gather together in My (God's) name, there I am in the midst. Relationships in the body of Christ are about community. God loves to see his children fellowshiping together; that's how he designed it. An individual can worship God on his own, and that it's not necessary to meet with other believers to worship. However, regularly getting together with other Christians for the purpose of worship is the Biblical norm. There are a number of Scriptures that directly state or imply that believers are to gather together. The word “church” occurs over 100 times in the New Testament. It was the head of the church himself, Jesus Christ, who first applied the word to a Christian society. “I will build my church” (Matthew 16:18). The 'body of Christ', has implied in its meaning, a whole made up of many parts. The teaching concerning spiritual gifts in 1 Corinthians 12 concerns the Holy Spirit apportioning gifts to individual members of the ‘body of Christ’ to be used in service for the whole body. Clearly, it is Paul’s teaching that the church functioned as a body made up of individual believers. And it is implicate in this teaching that the individual believer benefits greatly from the ministry of other members of the body – in fact, one would conclude that depriving oneself of this mutual ministry would be to cut oneself off from God’s intended purposes derived from being a part of a local assembly of believers. Some Christians need to stop faking the funk. Just come out and say it: I don't need the church because I don't want accountability. I don't want people all in my business, so I would rather take my relationship with Christ into my own hands. When you get in a bind, DON'T come to the church asking for help because remember, YOU don't need the church.

Pre-Nuptial Agreements

In a perfect world, there would be no need for pre-nups. Men & Women would be together forever. Because we live in a fallen world, you have to prepare for the worst. Divorce is almost guaranteed for any married couple. Why do I say guaranteed? Because you can get married with the best intentions, and life happens. Infidelity, abuse, financial issues are all top reasons for marriages to end in divorce. Pre-nups serve to protect a couple. In layman's terms, you leave with what you came. Should I get married, best believe I'm getting a pre-nup. I'm no fool; I have to look out for myself because there's no guarantee my woman will have my best interest (she should do the same). Some people get upset when their spouse wants a prenuptial agreement. Let me get this straight: Someone doesn't want their spouse to get half of what they've worked for prior to marriage, and because they want to protect themselves, you're upset. Their reaction should show you made the right decision. Regardless of whether my spouse gets upset or not, a prenuptial agreement is in order. Such agreement protects both men & women in the event of divorce. Yes, you should have faith in your marriage to weather the storms, but that's not the case. Marriages today aren't like they were back in the day. The older generation understood marriage a lot better than today's generation. Back in our parents & grandparents day, if something was broke, it was fixed. Today's couples have no perseverance. People want the sunshine without the rain. The first sign of trouble, I want a divorce. I'm thinking to myself "Why get married if you're going to duck out at the first sign of trouble? You're wasting your time as well as your spouse's" Back in the day, pre-nups were unheard of because women didn't have the options they have now. Back in the 50's and 60's, couples were determined to make it work. When I read about couples being married 60+ years, I'm amazed because in today's world, you're lucky to be married 10 years. A Facebook friend posted about pre-nups on her page and I commented with "Marriage should be approached like war. In war, there are casualties." Divorce, abuse, infidelity are casualties that can lead to the destruction of a marriage.

Coast Guard Offloads $16 Million In Cocaine, Marijuana « CBS Miami

         Coast Guard Offloads $16 Million In Cocaine, Marijuana « CBS Miami

 

Drugs are still a major issue in Miami & South Florida. The Port Of Miami is still the major cocaine distribution center in the U.S. Drugs come in the US at the Port Of Miami, and are shipped nationwide from there.

Preachers of L.A.

Preachers of L.A. false-representing Jesus?

 

Preachers of L.A. just debuted a short time ago. It chronicles several Los Angeles area preachers with notable ministries. A few of them I'm familiar with such as Bishop Noel Jones, Dietrick Haddon, etc. Scandal is getting flak for its negative portrayal of black women as being mistresses, and now churchgoers have beef with Preachers of L.A. Is it me or are some churchpeople worse than the world? I don't see an issue with preachers living lavish lifestyles. God doesn't want his children broke & busted, he wants his children to have the best in life. Otherwise, he wouldn't bless his children like he does. Many of the most influential preachers started from nothing and have blossomed into influential ministers of the Gospel. Some churchgoers need to quit, because jealousy is not a good look. It seems like Christians have the biggest issue with other Christians being blessed. If you're not the one getting blessed, maybe you need to check your obedience & faithfulness because faithfulness & obedience always yield staggering blessing. Besides, those ministers on Preachers of L.A. probably are entrepreneurs on the side, so that's why they live like they do. If we're going by ministry support, most of those preachers would be middle-class/upper-middle class at best. Tithing is down in many churches nationwide because people can't afford to tithe like they want. If you can't tithe, you have to be very careful where your money goes. I'm happy for any mega-preacher who's living good, because that means his ministry is able to continue touching lives. It takes money to spread the gospel of Jesus. A lot of the frustration people have is around the question of what's most important, and what should be focused on. No doubt, these clergy have meaningful ministries that help people. For me, that's more important than trying to show their humanity, which none would argue they are human and have issues like the rest of us, or showing how well they live and how much stuff they have. People know how to get stuff and if they don't there are plenty of places to go find out. What people rarely know how to do without God is to live whole, healthy lives that are about more than helping themselves. People don't have a problem with someone out in the world being blessed, but the minute God's people start shining, major shade is thrown their way.

Stranded

Genesis 39:21-The Lord was with Joseph and showed him mercy.

 

Traveling from Memphis to St.Louis by bus typically takes about 6 hours, unless the bus driver leaves you stranded at a gas station. This happened to 45 passengers aboard a bus who waited 8 hours overnight for a replacement driver after the original driver abandoned them. They must have felt frustrated by the delay, anxious about the outcome, and impatient for rescue. Joseph probably shared those feelings when he landed in prison for a crime he didn't commit. Abandoned & forgotten by any human who might help him, he was stranded. Still, the "Lord was with Joseph, and showed him mercy, and He gave him favor" Eventually, the prison warden promoted Joseph to oversee fellow inmates, and whatever Joseph did, the Lord made it prosper. But despite God's presence and blessing, Joseph remained incarcerated for years. You may be stranded in a hospital room, jail cell, a country far from home, or your own inner prison. No matter where you are, or how long you've been there, God's mercy and kindness can reach you. Because he is God almighty and present everywhere (Jeremiah 23:23-24), He can protect, promote, and provide for you when it seems no one can help.

All In One

1 Corinthians 12:11, 12

God’s various gifts are handed out everywhere; but they all originate in God’s Spirit. God’s various ministries are carried out everywhere; but they all originate in God’s Spirit. God’s various expressions of power are in action everywhere; but God himself is behind it all. Each person is given something to do that shows who God is: Everyone gets in on it, everyone benefits. All kinds of things are handed out by the Spirit, and to all kinds of people! The variety is wonderful:

wise counsel

clear understanding

simple trust

healing the sick

miraculous acts

proclamation

distinguishing between spirits

tongues

interpretation of tongues.

All these gifts have a common origin, but are handed out one by one, by the one Spirit of God. He decides who gets what, and when.

 

In 1990, a brand new "all-in-one" soap was released on the market called Lever 2000. The slogan simply said, "For all your 2000 body parts." As humans, God created our bodies with a great degree of complexity. Eyes, ears, fingers, liver, spleen, ribs, nose, uvula, tonsils, larynx, elbows, fingers and toes; one body, but many parts. And every part is important to the body's health. What would it be like to live without a finger, kidney, brain, or heart? Could you do it? Yes, depending on the body part. Assuming it wasn't a vital organ, your body would adapt, but would you want to live this way? No, you'd be incomplete. Often in the church, we fail to acknowledge what our culture considers the "less important" parts of the body. We celebrate teaching, for instance, and many look down upon the hospitality that creates a warm and loving environment for visitors. We highlight the missionary without praising the faithful giving that allows him to be sent. The Bible reminds us that each part is uniquely assigned by the Holy Spirit and equally significant to the health of the body.

What Does It Mean To Be Blessed?

Being blessed is having enough to meet your needs, and help someone else in need
Being blessed is remembering where you come from, and not trying to go back
Being blessed is staying humble, and not feeling a need to floss your wealth
Being blessed is setting your family up for a nice life after you're dead & gone
Being blessed is thanking God everyday you came from nothing
Being blessed is helping someone else get their blessing
When you're blessed, you're not envious of someone else's breakthrough
When you're blessed, you're content
Being blessed is a beautiful thing, you have less worries about the necessities
Being blessed is remembering who bestowed those blessings upon you
Being blessed results from obedience (I'm a continual work in progress with this)
When you're blessed, it shows in your overall demeanor
When you're blessed, everyone wants to be your friend
When those blessings dry up, so do your so-called "friends"
Being blessed makes life so much more worthwhile
Being blessed means different things to different people
When you're blessed, you better keep your circle small
You never know who's with you for your shine
All blessings come from God
When you're blessed, you get all kinds of special treatment
Many people may not understand your glow
God didn't give them your vision
Don't expect everyone to understand your breakthrough
If you want to be blessed
You have to go get your blessing


More In The Showcase, Less In The Warehouse

1 Corinthians 3:10-11

"According to the grace of God which was given to me, as a wise master builder I have laid the foundation, and another builds on it. But let each one take heed how he builds on it. For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ."

 

When Paul arrived in Corinth, he found it to be like a modern day Las Vegas or "sin city." He was determined that the only thing that could penetrate the spiritual darkness of the city was the gospel message in its purest form--Jesus Christ and Him crucified. That singular message became the focus of his preaching. Each generation must learn to contextualize its evangelistic methods to its time and culture. The message, however, is timeless and must not change. The world can outbuild, out-advertise, outspend, and at times out-think us. What we have as Christians that is unique is our message of Good News. That message of Jesus death and resurrection is the foundation of the church. Jesus is the foundation of the church and of an individual's life as well. Foundation work is hidden work. No one looks at the architecture of a beautiful building and becomes enamored with the foundation. If we are not careful, we will invest our whole life in the outward and visible. We can become consumed with maintaining our reputation, but neglect our character, which is hidden and foundational. A guest speaker at my church said "Some folks have more in the showcase than in the warehouse". The private, foundational aspect of life is not visible and cannot easily be measured, but it is where real worship takes place and is the wellspring of both joy & contentment.

 



Hold On

When God places a promise in your heart, you have to come to the place where you believe it’s going to happen so strongly that nothing can talk you out of it. It may seem impossible. All the circumstances may tell you that it’s not going to happen, but deep down you have to have this confidence, this knowing, that God is still on the throne. He is bigger than any obstacle. He already has a way, and at the exact time, what He promised will come to pass. You have this unshakeable confidence. You know that God is fighting your battles, arranging things in your favor, making a way even when you don’t see a way.
Instead of being discouraged, you get up in the morning thanking God that the answer is on the way. Instead of talking about how big the problem is, you go through the day talking about how big your God is. Your mind is set in one direction: victory, favor, healing, restoration. It may be taking a long time, but God didn’t bring you this far to leave you. You’ve seen Him do it in the past, and you know He will do it again in the future. You are fully persuaded because when you know your God, you have unshakeable confidence!



Rise Of The Lames: Debra Johnson

This message was posted in a couple of Facebook groups I'm part of. Excuse the profanity and usage of the N-word, but it makes sense.

 

Debra Johnson

Planet of the A.P.E.S- Rise of the Lames March 8, 2013 at 10:46pm

Dear Guerrilla Player,

If your lady is a scrub, it's because you're a scrub. If she's a lackluster chick, its because you're a lackluster dude. Now let's broaden this concept to a group of people...and really observe whose responsible for the conditions of todays Black/African American Woman.

It's easy to blame the female for the short comings in your relationship. But the reality is that headship belongs to YOU; not your lady. If a business has employees that are under performing, they don't fire all the workers; they replace the boss. A new boss can take those same employees and get them cracking and in line with the program. A good leader creates good followers.

The problem with most of these females out here is the dudes they've been messing with. They're used to dealing with a bunch of simps. Once again: poor leadership creates poor followers. Ever notice how the females in the hood tend to act like the dudes in that hood?

When you have a female who's around you a lot, she will eventually soak up your philosophies and outlook on life. Over time, your way of looking at the world will become her way of looking at the world too. You're impregnating her with your 'seed'; in this case, your mental seed. I've noticed when a woman has been around me for a while, she'll start reflecting my vision of the world through her speech and actions. Even if its my sisters. It's funny and amazing to watch.

If you're a rowdy nigga who loves to fight, your chick will start reflecting that behavior as well. If she hangs around you long enough she'll become a rowdy chick. But if you're cool and laid back, your woman will become that way also over time; granted you're giving her positive strong leadership. Leadership is an awesome responsibility. Great leadership creates great followers; poor leadership creates poor followers. So instead of blaming the quality of the women in our midst, blame the dudes who exposed them to some garbage ass guidance. But keep your standards high. As a leader, its mandatory. If she can't get with the program and soak up your good game, replace her with a cooperative female that will.APES- Angry Players and Enraged Simps

 

My View: She's got a point. If the man is supposed to be the head, he takes responsibility for those under him. The problem is that many men want to lead, but don't want responsibility for the ups & downs. I can see why many men defer leadership to the woman, because being a leader is tough. You have to deal with multiple personalities, and you have to be willing to make tough decisions that everyone may not agree with. In layman's terms, a leader must be willing to be disliked, and misunderstood. That's ok, because if God didn't give them your vision, don't expect them to understand it. A stand-up man will attract a stand-up woman. Because everyone has a Facebook account, almost everyone is in at least 2 Relationship groups. The common denominator is men going in on women, and vice versa. I ask myself: Where are you guys meeting these horrible (wo)men that have made you so jaded? Seriously, every (wo)man can't be that bad to where you spend all day ranting & raving about them. I will say that some women have spent the last 40+ years dogging men, and now that men are fighting back, many women can't stand it. Well, don't dish out what you can't take. Going further, if a man has his stuff together, and he selects a woman that's not about order, and will not soak up his good game, he needs to check & charge her; Put her in her place, and get rid of her. Where many stand-up men become jaded is they keep these rebellious women around; they try to change them into respectable women when it's not their job. If a woman is set on being a Jezebel, what makes you think she will change once a good man comes into her life? She's not, in most cases. Men need to stop trying to change wayward women; let them sink into their quicksand of ratchetness. This stood out to me: "The problem with most of these females out here is the dudes they've been messing with. They're used to dealing with a bunch of simps. Once again: poor leadership creates poor followers. Ever notice how the females in the hood tend to act like the dudes in that hood?" I can respect a woman who tells me straight up: You need to know I'm ratchet, so if you're expecting me to change into a respectable woman, forget it. Because she was direct, I have no reason to get involved with her. That's the mindset my fellas need to take: Stop trying to save these ratchet women, they don't want to be saved.



Success (Stay Encouraged)

This is for everyone who's determined to succeed at all costs, but keep hitting brick walls. Today's message is called Success.

 

 

If you think you are beaten, you are

If you think you dare not, you don't

If you'd like to win, but think you can't

It's almost a cinch you won't.

If you think you'll lose, you're lost;

For out in the world we find

Success begins with a fellow's will.

It's all in the state of mind.

 

Life's battles don't always go

To the stronger or faster man;

But soon or late, the man who wins

Is the man who thinks he can.

Scenario

Scenario: A man & woman have been going together for quite sometime, and during the course of their relationship, the topic of children come up. At first, both are in agreement to have children, but discover although no medical conditions run on both sides of the family, they're content spending the rest of their lives together childless. Both don't want the responsibility of parenthood. Is this wrong?

 

My View: Not at all. Not everyone is cut out for parenthood, and that's ok. Parenthood involves maturity & sacrifice, something many people lack. If you're not ready to put your dreams on hold for your child(ren), you shouldn't create children. I look at some children today and my heart hurts for them; their parents don't care who they're with or what they're doing, parents are too busy trying to be their child's friend instead of giving them guidance. How can a parent leave their child(ren) with grandma while (s)he goes out for a good time? That's silly. Yes, parents need a night out every now & then, but when a child's on the scene, fun goes out the window. The bulk of your time is spent nurturing that child so that one day, they leave the nest and make their mark in the world. Some couples look forward to coming home to each other daily, and many times kids get in the way of that. It takes a special couple to want children, and some people aren't cut out for parenthood. Deadbeat parents are proof that some people don't deserve children. People bring children into this world, and don't know anything about the child(ren); that's crazy to me. Some parents aren't involved in their child's life, but are quick to discipline when the kid gets out of line. There's a time for discipline, and time for guidance. Let's be honest, children are expensive. There's health care, education, extracurricular activities, etc. You're taking care of a child for the 18-year minimum (barring special needs). It used to be surefire your child(ren) would come out healthy, but with so many children being born with genetic disorders, I can understand many parents being reluctant to birth children. Do I have the patience to care for a child with a disability? Will I be able to advocate for a special needs child? Those are thoughts that run through every parent's mind. Just because genetic disorders aren't prevalent in many families, that doesn't always mean a child will be born healthy. There have been cases where perfectly healthy parents gave birth to a child with a disability. You never know what neurological conditions a child may be born with. Parenthood is a challenge that many people don't want, and that's ok. At least some couples are straight up with not wanting children, and if you're with someone who doesn't want children (but you do), either break up or try and come to some agreement. Life is too short to waste time with someone you're not on the same page with.

Strawberry Letter

This is a recent strawberry letter from the Steve Harvey Morning Show

 

STRAWBERRY LETTER
Subject: My Husband Loves His Female Friends

Letter: My husband and I have been married for 19 years, and we have 2 children. We have built a pretty decent life for ourselves. My issue is my husband and his female friends. I know he was raised by a single mom, grandmother and aunts, and there wasn't a significant male in his life. I get that. He's used to talking to mostly women. What I don't get is why they have to go on lunch outings when I'm at work, or go grocery shopping together, or talk for hours about how she thinks her husband is messing around (just some examples). He works at night, so his days are free. His excuses are usually things like, "well she paid for it, or she put some gas in my car". I really don't care that she paid, I am just uncomfortable with the whole situation. He tries to convince me that it's my insecurities that makes me feel this way. When I try to flip it and say, "What if a man was taking me to lunch and giving me money" (yes giving him money!!!), he says that if I'm not giving him a reason to think something is going on, then he wouldn't have a problem with it. I'm not stupid, I know he is just trying to rationalize his situation. I guess I just need to know if I'm being unreasonable. This is not the first time. The first one was a mutual friend and while I was at work, they would go take drives in the country or go play pool. Her husband spoke to me (I guess feeling me out to see how I felt), then when we confronted them (my husband and her), he acted like it wasn't a problem for him and I was the only one with the problem. I stood my ground and they distanced themselves, but not before trying to make me feel like I was some kind of monster ("we spend most of the time talking about you, you took my friend away"). I feel like it's dangerous to put yourself in a situation where you are discussing your innermost thoughts about your spouse with anyone other than your spouse or therapist. I guess I need to know if I do have the self-esteem issues that he claims I have. I just don't know other women who would put up with this. Is it me? Am I crazy? Help me out please!

Signed,

Love my man, but not his woman

 

My $.02: One thing a man doesn't like is a jealous woman. She questions why he has female friends, even if he's not poking any of them. He's known them long before she (the woman) came into his life, so what's the problem? Sounds like this woman has trust issues. Without trust, you have no relationship. I agree with the husband here; if he's not giving her a reason to mistrust him, she should fall back. Then again, there is a slight possibility he could be plotting to sleep with some of them, so I understand her concern. To protect himself, he needs to tone that down. He should know how some women are about their man having nothing but female friends. Many women, unless they're secure about their relationship, are not co-signing their man having multiple women friends. No woman would, or should be cool with her man spending time out and going to lunch with another woman, let alone many women. Something's not right there. Even if he's friends, somewhere down the line feelings are going to be caught. There's too many red flags with this. If another man was trying to push up on her, he'd be ready to fight.



Mercy Rule

In a nutshell, the Mercy Rule is when a sporting event is called off early due to one team's monstrous lead. For example, if there's a football game and one team is up 77-0 or 82-3, then there's the chance the game will be called off. Let's be honest, there's no way any team can come from behind to win with THAT huge of a deficit. I'm torn between the Mercy Rule because one, it's the opponent's responsibility to be ready for battle. Teams shouldn't have to take it easy on their opponent; there's wins at stake. The more wins you have, the greater your chances of playing for the championship. Two, when you have a massive lead over your opponent, you want to continue running up the score. To spare further humiliation, the game is called off. I think it's a sportmanship thing with the Mercy Rule. Just like you have to learn how to lose gracefully, you also have to learn how to win gracefully. Take Miami vs. Savannah State University. Miami Hurricanes destroyed Savannah State 77-7, and the 4th Quarter was shortened so Miami wouldn't run up the score further. Had the 4th Quarter been allowed to continue, I believe the score would've been in the 90's or 100's. I think the Mercy Rule should be done away with because it stifles competition. One team shouldn't be penalized for smashing on their opponent; that's what they're supposed to do. In sports, you're supposed to gain any advantage within reason. If that means getting off to a hot start and not letting up on your opponent, so be it. College football seems to be rife with blowouts: 62-7, 77-7, etc. Why doesn't the NFL have blowouts? Because in the pros, athletes understand what's at stake. They're working towards winning the Super Bowl, so each week NFL teams go to war. There's no Mercy Rule in the NFL, so there shouldn't be one in youth athletics.

300 Sandwiches=Engagement

Catching A Man With 300 Sandwiches

 

This story has gone viral all over the internet. Stephanie Smith has been challenged by her boyfriend to make 300 sandwiches or he won't marry her. So far, she's made 176 so I'd say she's doing pretty good on the challenge. I just love to see people get bent out of shape about this story without digging deeper. This is why the word "feminist" has such a negative connotation for many people. If a man buys his wife or girlfriend a Rolls Royce, a trip to Spain, or a mansion in Beverly Hills, no one thinks twice; it's almost expected of him. But if a woman decides to do something nice for her boyfriend, something that smells remotely of June Cleaver, the feminazis get out their knives. It's not about the 300 sandwiches, it's about meeting a challenge. When she says "He gave me a challenge—a dare, to some degree", it really is a testament of how a healthy relationship isn't about settling, but constantly pushing and challenging your partner to be better. For some that is stop swearing, quit smoking, loose weight, or make 300 sandwiches. Many women burnt their buns when they read this story; "She shouldn't have to make 300 sandwiches to prove her love for him". Those women remain unmarried because they aren't willing to go the extra mile to get & keep a man. Women who object to Ms. Stephanie making 300 sandwiches remain unmarried, because they're the main ones crying over why no man wants them, but they don't want to do what it takes to keep a man. It's not like she's telling women to follow her path; she's doing what she feels is necessary to get Eric to marry her, and if it's through sandwiches, oh well. The 300 sandwiches thing wasn't a literal challenge from her boyfriend. Instead, she has discovered how taking a genuine interest and putting forth actual effort into something HE loves has made their relationship stronger regardless of a ring. She has enjoyed learning to cook and experimenting in the kitchen. And the boyfriend appreciates her efforts (since he is a gourmet chef and all). When 2 people are willing to take an interest in something that defines their partner, then gratification makes the love that much sweeter. If more women had her humble spirit, men would come out of the woodwork to get at them. I think it's funny how some women are crucifying her, saying all kinds of craziness like: She has low self-esteem, he should love her regardless of her making 300 sandwiches, he's not going to marry her after the 300th sandwich, etc. As stated before, the same women criticizing her for using food to hook her man (Eric is already a gourmet chef, so he knows how to cook.) are the same women who don't have a man. Let them tell it..."My man should love me even if I don't know how to cook" Sorry ma'am, but many men will not entertain a woman who can't cook, let alone do simple things to show her love for him like making sandwiches.