My Top Tweets

If women feel justified in leaving a relationship over a petty argument, then we can leave them when they act like brats for no damn reason

— SelfMadeBluntz (@iDespiseJobz) August 23, 2015

📝 to ladies: You cannot get mad at a man for calling you a brat when in that moment you're actually ACTING like a fucking brat 💯💁

— SelfMadeBluntz (@iDespiseJobz) August 23, 2015

Salute to Flex for making Imani honor her word. Your word is everything. #FlexandShanice

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) August 23, 2015

Flex is tripping about his daughter working. Nothing wrong with your kid wanting to earn their own money. #FlexandShanice

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) August 23, 2015

Just because someone's in your boat, doesn't mean they're rowing with you. Most people are in your boat to poke holes or enjoy the ride.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) August 21, 2015

Turn down for what? Your dad came home. Party over Elijah.😂😂 #FlexandShanice

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) August 23, 2015

You kno people talk about how they wanna do this and gonna do that SMH. #procrastination makes a broke situation #Moneytrainfood4thought

— Project Pat (@ProjectPatHcp) August 18, 2015

If marriage was a buffet, people would pick & choose what they want in a person. They would take the good & leave the bad.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) August 19, 2015

#Confession I care about things that are important to me, people included. Once I stopped caring about minor things, life has been great.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) August 17, 2015

Question

If God showed you your future husband or wife, but they cheated a few years after y'all married, would you still marry him or her? My response is: No, because God wouldn't ordain a marriage where your spouse would cheat on you; that's foolish. Choosing to marry a person that will cheat on you a few years into the marriage is like walking into a lion's den with a steak tied around your neck; why would you want to? You're just gonna entrust your heart to this person thinking they're gonna take care of it, and boom...they tell you they've been cheating since Day 1 of the marriage. After the hurt wears off, it turns to anger. You can't look at him/her the same way again. King David was ordained as KING at a young age, had an affair & God still used him. 

King David was one of many influential Biblical men who had vile character issues & God worked through them to fulfill HIS purpose. God does not deal in mess, but because we live in a sinful world, people mess up. That doesn't mean we have to take back a cheating spouse. I take marriage very seriously, so seriously that she has one time to mess up & it's a wrap. I will forgive her, but I cannot run the risk of taking her back and she violating our sacred bond again. Here's the catch..she has to be just as serious about our vows. People give their spouse too many green lights to mistreat them, and folks scared to leave because they don't want to be alone. They would rather be mistreated by their spouse than happy single. It's crazy to me, but I don't have to deal with that headache so it's not my concern.

Michael Baisden QOTD: Are People Genuinely Happy When You Meet The Right Person?

A lot of people are only happy for you when they are happy. If they don't have anyone special or if their relationship isn't working, they have a hard time being genuinely happy for you. Be careful who you share your happiness with. A lot of people will smile in your face, but can't wait until you are having a problem. Some will try to secretly cause problems between you and your significant other. It can depend on how it will affect their relationship with you, and if they are in a happy relationship. If you start spending lots of time with your new love, they may feel left out. Don't neglect friends and family for a new love. You should be able to give some time to friends. If they are unhappy in or out of a relationship, it may make them feel depressed or sad because they want happiness as well. 

Sometimes, I believe that some people are genuine when they say they are happy when you find that special someone. Most times, you can tell on their faces when they aren't. You can tell who really cares/doesn't care about your happiness when you meet that special person. Your circle will become smaller. The people who really care for you will stay the same towards you, regardless of what you can and can no longer do with, or for them. The ones who don't will change on you when it's no longer about them. It's not up to anyone to be happy for me if I find a special person, it's up to ME to be happy. I don't want on approval stamps from anyone. When it comes down to it, your true friends will be happy for you finding true love. Haters? Not so much, but they can eat shards of glass.

Marriage Buffet

If marriage was a buffet, people would pick & choose what they want in a person. They would take the good & leave the bad.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) August 19, 2015

If marriage was a buffet, people would pick & choose what they want in a person. They would take the good & leave the bad. Think about it, when someone's looking for a mate, they have a laundry list of what attributes they desire in a (wo)man. (S)he must have this, that and the third. In short, (s)he must be perfect, but expect their mate to overlook their imperfections. Crazy isn't it? If marriage was a buffet, most people would take the good and forget the bad. They would take someone who's loving, driven, attractive, God-fearing, etc. and would leave the flaws at the buffet line because to them, the flaws would make the meal taste bad. There's nothing wrong with wanting the perfect person UNLESS you're perfect yourself. The way I'm set up, my patience is 0 for foolishness. 

If I think an issue is going to be a problem, I let it be known. The other person has a small window to fix the problem or she takes flight. In a perfect world, marriage would be a buffet: You get the person's good instead of their bad. Couples NEVER have arguments, they're always on the same page and because there would be no dissension in marriage, divorce attorneys would be unemployed because they would have no clientele. Because this world is fallen, unfortunately people have to take the bad with the good. Some people can love the good & bad of their spouse, some people can't. For those who won't love the bad parts of their spouse, that's their right. Everyone has the right to have the marriage they desire, provided they're the person they desire.

Strawberry Letter: R.I.P. To My Sex Life

Today's Strawberry Letter is about a married couple's dead sex life. The reason I call their sex life dead is because this woman's husband hasn't touched her sexually or sexed her in years. The woman is successful by all accounts: Own home, car, good job, and I assume the husband has the same credentials since they're married. From what I read, this woman's sex drive is high and the husband's sex drive is dead. Check this: The husband admits to cheating on his wife during a bachelor's party years ago. The husband must feel bad about his infidelity because he doesn't want to sex his lady. He doesn't know if she's forgiven him or not, and I respect him for being open about his infidelity towards his wife. Most men would take that to their grave.
When he admitted to cheating on his wife, even if she forgave him & took him back, it's hard for him to be intimate with his wife. He doesn't know if she will be responsive like she was before. She may not admit it, but I think she's harboring resentment towards him for his infidelity. I mean, he admitted he cheated on his woman; how else is she supposed to feel? Going further, he's sown his sexual oats prior to marriage, and he has nothing left for his wife; that's where the disconnect comes from. When someone's done this, that & the third with other people, they're going to get tired of sex, even if their spouse initiates. I think this can be fixed; but both sides have to be willing to meet in the middle.

Grown Soul & Real Talk: Give It Up, Or I Cheat

A married man actually put a sex clause in his prenuptial agreement that states: I have the right to get sex elsewhere if my wife doesn't sex me on demand. When I think of prenups, I think of financial arrangements that state both parties enter & leave with what they came. Sex on demand is new to me in prenups because I've never heard of a couple putting this clause in a prenup. This has to be a fake question. If they've already signed it and are already married, why is he asking opinions? He wants co-signers. She shouldn't have signed no crap like that. Of course, everyone has a right to say what they will (not) put up with, but is there anything in the pre-nup that benefits her?! What about cases of illness, etc? What's he going do when she starts menopause and her sex drive drops? He sounds foolish. Why not worry about the reason she's not interested in sexing him, and correct that? That's too much like right because usually when a woman refuses to sex her man, it's for multiple reasons that are within or out of her control.

That's the dumbest thing I've read, and if she signed something so demeaning, she should take a few bucks and buy some self esteem, and a self help book.Why did he get married if his goal is to cheat? What happened to a union and understanding? I'm hoping he wrote this for shock value. What if he becomes severely disabled or impotent, can she go elsewhere to have her needs fulfilled? If the answer is no, then he's selfish. If yes, then again I ask why would he get married? I have two thoughts: He's worried about the wrong thing; perhaps he should study the definition of marriage because he has no clue. Marriage is about much more than "sex." It's about BOTH parties bringing out the best in each other. Second, he's foolish if he thinks this is going to stand.

GSRT Member Question: Divorce Or Not Divorce?

GSRT Member Question:

I know the divorce rate is high. I know I took marriage vows that said until death do we part. However, my husband of 5 years has had 3 affairs since we've been married.

We went to counseling with our pastor; marriage counseling with a professional too. Now here we are and I just found out he had a one night stand when he was out of town at a conference last month. He always says he doesn't know why he cheats - that he loves me, our sex life is good, etc. He says he doesn't go looking for it, but if an opportunity comes his way he "makes bad decisions". Then he tries to say well, men are gonna be men sometimes. Whatever.

I'm done. I'm ready to end this marriage. My husband, our pastor and even our parents (they know what has gone on) are pressuring me to keep the faith and not throw my marriage away. I can't save this marriage alone and my husband continually does that same thing over and over.

Marriage vows or not, why am I wrong for wanted to call it at this point? How many times do you forgive and try to work on your marriage before you say that's it?

Answer: He's full of crap, and he knows it. He wants an excuse to continue cheating and expects her to take him back each time he blows it. "Sometimes, men are going to be men." If that's the excuse he's going with, then nothing he can say will make her love him like she used to. Only she knows what she can tolerate.

Her parents and pastor are not subjecting themselves to the possibility of STDs, while they are offering their 'opinion'. God knows her heart, and she shouldn't torture herself to maintain 'appearances'. A person can take so much disrespect until they reach the point of no return, and when they do; no amount of apologizing will change that. (S)he will forgive, but (s)he won't have the same love for you as before, and rightfully so. as before, and rightfully so. She must do what's best for her. 

People who want her to stay in a situatuion in which she's repeatedly hurt and disrespected obviously don't care about her feelings, so why should she care how they feel? Her husband is not going to change, why would he if she's going to let other people talk her into staying even though he cheats on her? Why does he ever need to stop cheating if she's not going anywhere? Over the last 5 years she's shown him she'll take whatever he dishes out so she's fooling herself thinking he will change. The pastor is an idiot for even suggesting she puts up with his blatant disregard for her feelings. Going further, the first time he cheated..she should have been out the door. He figures he can cheat on her because he knows she'll be right there. She should leave, and never look back.