Good Loving: Before Or After Marriage

 A couple has recently gotten engaged & decided to refrain from sex until after marriage. This couple was already having sex, so what brought on the change of heart? Let me explain why I think it's crazy: 1. The couple was already sexing prior to becoming engaged, so all of a sudden they're going to refrain from sexual activity? My guess is they want sex to mean something after marriage. If they wanted their sex to mean something, they should've refrained from the jump. No sense in switching up now. Considering they're already sexing, it won't make much difference if they decide to refrain. They're used to knocking boots before, so sex won't be anymore special after the wedding. Sex is sex. The same sex you had prior to marriage doesn't all of a sudden become special once you tie the knot; I don't know why people believe this. It's hypocritical if you're sexing your mate, then stop and expect them to agree to refrain from sexual activity until after the wedding.

You don't have to be married in order to understand that if you've been having sex before marriage, it doesn't become special once you get married. That's like a man getting loving from his woman all year around, then when her b'day, the anniversary, and Valentine's Day rolls around, he works hard to get the same nooky he's become accustomed to getting. What's really wrong with her expectations is she hasn't considered his feelings or just expects him to understand. If he agreed, he would've told you and it would be their business how they do things. In some ways, I see the romantic side of things and that's probably what she wants, problem is he doesn't and probably feels he wants to express his love by continuing what they've already been doing. I can't fault him because they've gotten used to sex to where there's nothing to look forward to, so there's really no benefit to either in waiting.

Sex is like an expensive car, once you get it, it loses it's value. However, the person giving it can dwindle or multiply it's value.

R.I.P. Maya Angelou

This quote is from the late Maya Angelou, who passed away on May 28, 2014. She was 86 at the time of her death. She was an author & civil rights activist. She published seven autobiographies, three books of essays, and several books of poetry, and is credited with a list of plays, movies, and television shows spanning more than 50 years. She received dozens of awards and over 30 honorary doctoral degrees. Angelou is best known for her series of seven autobiographies, which focus on her childhood and early adult experiences. The first, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings (1969), tells of her life up to the age of seventeen and brought her international recognition and acclaim. Marguerite Johnson was born in St. Louis, Missouri, on April 4, 1928, the second child of Bailey Johnson, a doorman and a navy dietitian, and Vivian (Baxter) Johnson, a nurse and card dealer.^{[3][note 1]} Angelou's older brother, Bailey Jr., nicknamed Marguerite "Maya", derived from "My" or "Mya Sister".^[4] When Angelou was three and her brother four, their parents' "calamitous marriage"^[5] ended, and their father sent them to Stamps, Arkansas, alone by train, to live with their paternal grandmother, Annie Henderson. In "an astonishing exception"^[6] to the harsh economics of African-Americans of the time, Angelou's grandmother prospered financially during the Great Depression and World War II because the general store she owned sold needed basic commodities and because "she made wise and honest investments."

Maya Angelou was a legend, and she will not be forgotten. I'm going to share a couple of my favorite poems from her:

Refusal by Maya Angelou

Beloved,
In what other lives or lands
Have I known your lips
Your Hands
Your Laughter brave
Irreverent.
Those sweet excesses that
I do adore.
What surety is there
That we will meet again,
On other worlds some
Future time undated.
I defy my body's haste.
Without the promise
Of one more sweet encounter
I will not deign to die.

This is the Million Man March Poem

The night has been long,
The wound has been deep,
The pit has been dark,
And the walls have been steep.

Under a dead blue sky on a distant beach,
I was dragged by my braids just beyond your reach.
Your hands were tied, your mouth was bound,
You couldn't even call out my name.
You were helpless and so was I,
But unfortunately throughout history
You've worn a badge of shame.

I say, the night has been long,
The wound has been deep,
The pit has been dark
And the walls have been steep.

But today, voices of old spirit sound
Speak to us in words profound,
Across the years, across the centuries,
Across the oceans, and across the seas.
They say, draw near to one another,
Save your race.
You have been paid for in a distant place,
The old ones remind us that slavery's chains
Have paid for our freedom again and again.

The night has been long,
The pit has been deep,
The night has been dark,
And the walls have been steep.

The hells we have lived through and live through still,
Have sharpened our senses and toughened our will.
The night has been long.
This morning I look through your anguish
Right down to your soul.
I know that with each other we can make ourselves whole.
I look through the posture and past your disguise,
And see your love for family in your big brown eyes.

I say, clap hands and let's come together in this meeting ground,
I say, clap hands and let's deal with each other with love,
I say, clap hands and let us get from the low road of indifference,
Clap hands, let us come together and reveal our hearts,
Let us come together and revise our spirits,
Let us come together and cleanse our souls,
Clap hands, let's leave the preening
And stop impostering our own history.
Clap hands, call the spirits back from the ledge,
Clap hands, let us invite joy into our conversation,
Courtesy into our bedrooms,
Gentleness into our kitchen,
Care into our nursery.

The ancestors remind us, despite the history of pain
We are a going-on people who will rise again.

And still we rise.





Strapped Up In My City

It's funny when some ghetto brothers flex like they're the only ones strapped up with a weapon in their city. When some of these guys talk like this, I laugh on the inside because anyone who's lived in the inner-city knows that every man is strapped with a weapon, what makes the next guy special? There's a saying that rings so true: The loudest one in the room, is the weakest one in the room. If you're talking this, this and that, you better be able to back it up, or you will look crazy. Honestly, I feel sorry for the next generation coming up because you have 11-13 year old kids carrying machine guns being quick to spray. Listening to hood rap, you'd swore these artists make it seem glamorous, but it's not. There's nothing rewarding about having to tote a Desert Eagle or an AK to protect yourself. When you're living foul, those are the precautions you have to take. You make a lot of enemies when you're living the thug life.

Many people who walk around talking about how strapped they are suffer from Big Balls Syndrome. Everybody's a tough guy when they're toting an AK or 9mm, but you take away their weapons and they're soft as tissue paper. These men are looking for a reason for someone to get wrong so they can smoke them. People walking around with guns shouldn't be allowed because many people have too much attitude, and one wrong move or perceived slight can be deadly. It's almost not worth it to engage physical contact with a person because if you win, they can come back and shoot you. It's easy to hide behind that assault rifle or 9, but without that weapon, we'll find out what your hands are made of. Back in the day, you didn't have this stuff to worry about, but now...times have changed. It's always the big-city ghetto folk who talk about being strapped in their city. It's a badge of honor for them, because they have nothing else going on in their lives.

Nojma Reflects » Blog Archive » Captain Save Em!

Ms. Nojma Reflects is a writer who has a very popular Facebook page. Her fans have requested she do podcasts, and this is her first one. I've written about Captain Save Em's before, but Nojma's podcast was fire. Click the link to listen:

 

Nojma Reflects » Blog Archive » Captain Save Em!

LeBron set back $30 million if he returns to Cleveland

 

LeBron set back $30 million if he goes back to Cleveland

 

LeBron James and Carmelo Anthony are two of the big stars that will be free agents this summer. Carmelo's reasoning behind wanting to depart the Knicks is he wants a ring, and what better way to get a ring than by clicking up with proven winners? There are talks of the Bulls courting Anthony, and if Anthony goes to Chicago, he'll be a great addition to Derrick Rose and Joakim Noah. On a side note, Boozer is set to be traded to the Lakers during free agency. The aforementioned article has me asking myself: Why would LeBron want to return to Cleveland? Think about it: Lebron CARRIED that team. He shouldered the scoring load every game and had no help. If Lebron had a big game, Cleveland didn't have any other players that could step up and relieve him, so it was all on Lebron James. LeBron going to Miami was clearly a good move for him because he went to a team that has proven winners, and Wade & Bosh could easily fill in for LeBron if his game was off. Miami has a strong bench in Battier, Allen, Chalmers, Norris Cole, Udonis Haslem, etc. In addition to the Big 3, Miami's bench has played a role in the Heat's last two championship victories.

I remember Lebron caught hell for leaving Cleveland; fans went as far as burning his jersey. My thing is Lebron made the right move for him. If he wasn't winning in Cleveland, why should he stay? If I'm Lebron James, I would immediately rule out coming back to Cleveland. I would keep my talents in South Beach and continue leading my team to championships. Compared to his Cleveland days, LeBron James has come into his own in Miami. He's stepped up when Wade and Bosh were injured or having bad games. I just don't see Lebron returning to Cleveland, and according to the article, he'd be set back $30 million if he went back to Cleveland. From a financial standpoint, it makes good business sense to keep LeBron James in Miami since they can afford to pay him a little more money. Lebron is enjoying success that he would never have back in Cleveland. His wife has her own business in Miami, his children enjoy living in Miami, and LeBron has been prospering ever since he made that move to Miami. All things considered, LeBron will most likely opt out of his contract and then re-sign with Miami. That would be the smart thing to do.

 

 

 

Who's At Fault?

This question got mixed responses when someone posted in one of my Facebook groups. Some people said the man's at fault because he's married, others said the homewrecker & the man are wrong, and some said the wife. Generally, the married man would be at fault because he's married. When a man takes a woman as his wife, he chose HER. That means he's to leave these other skanks alone. I say this quite often: If you can't be faithful, don't get married; it's not fair to your spouse and deep down, you're cheating yourself out of a happy life. Women know a good man when they see one, so in some way I understand why some homewreckers ruin marriages. It doesn't excuse their actions, but I see why. It's shameful some men don't respect their marriages enough to reject another woman's advances. He wants to see if he still has it, or the other woman may have what his wife lacks. Worst case scenario, the married man fell out of love with his wife, and by messing around with another woman, that will fill that void in his life. The only woman a man should be sleeping with is his wife.

The reason I also feel that BOTH (the husband and homewrecker) are at fault is because it takes two to sleep together. A married man must have a willing participant; he can't sleep with another woman by himself. Think about it: If a man doesn't have another woman to sleep with, he has no alternative but to remain faithful to his wife. He keeps his marriage in tact and saves himself a pissed off wife. Nowadays, adultery can end in death because some (wo)men will react unfavorably to a cheating spouse. All these men out here, and a homewrecker has to go after someone else's husband. Did it occur to homewreckers NOT to take what doesn't belong to you? Then again, I don't expect homewreckers to have a conscience. The wife bears responsibility because she's not doing her job at home. I understand the husband and wife are busy with their professional lives, and that can damper their love life.

Situations like what's described in this picture happen in real life. Like a movie, you have various characters who all play a part. Because there are various characters, you can't hold one person accountable.

Guest Speaker: Angel In Disguise

Today's blog message comes from Angel In Disguise.

Women kill me with this, "A real man would do this or that bull crap. How do you know what a real man should do???? How about putting more emphasis on what a real woman should do and maybe you could INFLUENCE and ENCOURAGE change in YOUR man that you SO desire. Since women like coming up with a LONG laundry list of what men Should do, I put together this list of what WOMEN should do.

A real woman won't put her hands on a man.
A real woman won't violate a man's privacy witho...ut his permission.
A real woman would let her man lead her (after all she chose him).
A real woman wouldn't hop all up in a man's faces cursing and screaming like a fool.
A real woman would use wisdom to cooperate with her man.
A real woman don't make demands to her man.
A real woman knows that she can't control an Alpha male.
A real woman builds her home and not tear it down.
A real woman would not make a CONSCIOUS effort to destroy ANY relationship.
A real woman would simply realize that she isn't compatible with a man and agree to end the relationship.
A real woman won't tell a man what a real man is.
A real woman would ask a man if he wants to be a father beforehand instead of waiting until she gets pregnant and assuming that he will stay with her when SHE decides to keep it.
A real woman would conduct herself as lady at ALL times.
A real woman would never justify her rage just because she is angry.
A real woman does not believe that just because she's mad at her man she can act a darn fool.
A real woman knows how to shut up instead of wanting to get the last word every time.
A real woman doesn't have unrealistic expectations such as believing that her man should value EVERYTHING the same as her.
A real woman doesn't disrupts PEACE in her home.
A real woman creates a loving atmosphere.
A real woman is a pleasure to be around.
A real woman understands that men and women have different roles.
A real woman isn't OPPOSED to building up her man if he has low self-esteem.
A real woman understands that men have feelings too.