Rise Of The Lames: Debra Johnson

This message was posted in a couple of Facebook groups I'm part of. Excuse the profanity and usage of the N-word, but it makes sense.

 

Debra Johnson

Planet of the A.P.E.S- Rise of the Lames March 8, 2013 at 10:46pm

Dear Guerrilla Player,

If your lady is a scrub, it's because you're a scrub. If she's a lackluster chick, its because you're a lackluster dude. Now let's broaden this concept to a group of people...and really observe whose responsible for the conditions of todays Black/African American Woman.

It's easy to blame the female for the short comings in your relationship. But the reality is that headship belongs to YOU; not your lady. If a business has employees that are under performing, they don't fire all the workers; they replace the boss. A new boss can take those same employees and get them cracking and in line with the program. A good leader creates good followers.

The problem with most of these females out here is the dudes they've been messing with. They're used to dealing with a bunch of simps. Once again: poor leadership creates poor followers. Ever notice how the females in the hood tend to act like the dudes in that hood?

When you have a female who's around you a lot, she will eventually soak up your philosophies and outlook on life. Over time, your way of looking at the world will become her way of looking at the world too. You're impregnating her with your 'seed'; in this case, your mental seed. I've noticed when a woman has been around me for a while, she'll start reflecting my vision of the world through her speech and actions. Even if its my sisters. It's funny and amazing to watch.

If you're a rowdy nigga who loves to fight, your chick will start reflecting that behavior as well. If she hangs around you long enough she'll become a rowdy chick. But if you're cool and laid back, your woman will become that way also over time; granted you're giving her positive strong leadership. Leadership is an awesome responsibility. Great leadership creates great followers; poor leadership creates poor followers. So instead of blaming the quality of the women in our midst, blame the dudes who exposed them to some garbage ass guidance. But keep your standards high. As a leader, its mandatory. If she can't get with the program and soak up your good game, replace her with a cooperative female that will.APES- Angry Players and Enraged Simps

 

My View: She's got a point. If the man is supposed to be the head, he takes responsibility for those under him. The problem is that many men want to lead, but don't want responsibility for the ups & downs. I can see why many men defer leadership to the woman, because being a leader is tough. You have to deal with multiple personalities, and you have to be willing to make tough decisions that everyone may not agree with. In layman's terms, a leader must be willing to be disliked, and misunderstood. That's ok, because if God didn't give them your vision, don't expect them to understand it. A stand-up man will attract a stand-up woman. Because everyone has a Facebook account, almost everyone is in at least 2 Relationship groups. The common denominator is men going in on women, and vice versa. I ask myself: Where are you guys meeting these horrible (wo)men that have made you so jaded? Seriously, every (wo)man can't be that bad to where you spend all day ranting & raving about them. I will say that some women have spent the last 40+ years dogging men, and now that men are fighting back, many women can't stand it. Well, don't dish out what you can't take. Going further, if a man has his stuff together, and he selects a woman that's not about order, and will not soak up his good game, he needs to check & charge her; Put her in her place, and get rid of her. Where many stand-up men become jaded is they keep these rebellious women around; they try to change them into respectable women when it's not their job. If a woman is set on being a Jezebel, what makes you think she will change once a good man comes into her life? She's not, in most cases. Men need to stop trying to change wayward women; let them sink into their quicksand of ratchetness. This stood out to me: "The problem with most of these females out here is the dudes they've been messing with. They're used to dealing with a bunch of simps. Once again: poor leadership creates poor followers. Ever notice how the females in the hood tend to act like the dudes in that hood?" I can respect a woman who tells me straight up: You need to know I'm ratchet, so if you're expecting me to change into a respectable woman, forget it. Because she was direct, I have no reason to get involved with her. That's the mindset my fellas need to take: Stop trying to save these ratchet women, they don't want to be saved.



Success (Stay Encouraged)

This is for everyone who's determined to succeed at all costs, but keep hitting brick walls. Today's message is called Success.

 

 

If you think you are beaten, you are

If you think you dare not, you don't

If you'd like to win, but think you can't

It's almost a cinch you won't.

If you think you'll lose, you're lost;

For out in the world we find

Success begins with a fellow's will.

It's all in the state of mind.

 

Life's battles don't always go

To the stronger or faster man;

But soon or late, the man who wins

Is the man who thinks he can.

Scenario

Scenario: A man & woman have been going together for quite sometime, and during the course of their relationship, the topic of children come up. At first, both are in agreement to have children, but discover although no medical conditions run on both sides of the family, they're content spending the rest of their lives together childless. Both don't want the responsibility of parenthood. Is this wrong?

 

My View: Not at all. Not everyone is cut out for parenthood, and that's ok. Parenthood involves maturity & sacrifice, something many people lack. If you're not ready to put your dreams on hold for your child(ren), you shouldn't create children. I look at some children today and my heart hurts for them; their parents don't care who they're with or what they're doing, parents are too busy trying to be their child's friend instead of giving them guidance. How can a parent leave their child(ren) with grandma while (s)he goes out for a good time? That's silly. Yes, parents need a night out every now & then, but when a child's on the scene, fun goes out the window. The bulk of your time is spent nurturing that child so that one day, they leave the nest and make their mark in the world. Some couples look forward to coming home to each other daily, and many times kids get in the way of that. It takes a special couple to want children, and some people aren't cut out for parenthood. Deadbeat parents are proof that some people don't deserve children. People bring children into this world, and don't know anything about the child(ren); that's crazy to me. Some parents aren't involved in their child's life, but are quick to discipline when the kid gets out of line. There's a time for discipline, and time for guidance. Let's be honest, children are expensive. There's health care, education, extracurricular activities, etc. You're taking care of a child for the 18-year minimum (barring special needs). It used to be surefire your child(ren) would come out healthy, but with so many children being born with genetic disorders, I can understand many parents being reluctant to birth children. Do I have the patience to care for a child with a disability? Will I be able to advocate for a special needs child? Those are thoughts that run through every parent's mind. Just because genetic disorders aren't prevalent in many families, that doesn't always mean a child will be born healthy. There have been cases where perfectly healthy parents gave birth to a child with a disability. You never know what neurological conditions a child may be born with. Parenthood is a challenge that many people don't want, and that's ok. At least some couples are straight up with not wanting children, and if you're with someone who doesn't want children (but you do), either break up or try and come to some agreement. Life is too short to waste time with someone you're not on the same page with.

Strawberry Letter

This is a recent strawberry letter from the Steve Harvey Morning Show

 

STRAWBERRY LETTER
Subject: My Husband Loves His Female Friends

Letter: My husband and I have been married for 19 years, and we have 2 children. We have built a pretty decent life for ourselves. My issue is my husband and his female friends. I know he was raised by a single mom, grandmother and aunts, and there wasn't a significant male in his life. I get that. He's used to talking to mostly women. What I don't get is why they have to go on lunch outings when I'm at work, or go grocery shopping together, or talk for hours about how she thinks her husband is messing around (just some examples). He works at night, so his days are free. His excuses are usually things like, "well she paid for it, or she put some gas in my car". I really don't care that she paid, I am just uncomfortable with the whole situation. He tries to convince me that it's my insecurities that makes me feel this way. When I try to flip it and say, "What if a man was taking me to lunch and giving me money" (yes giving him money!!!), he says that if I'm not giving him a reason to think something is going on, then he wouldn't have a problem with it. I'm not stupid, I know he is just trying to rationalize his situation. I guess I just need to know if I'm being unreasonable. This is not the first time. The first one was a mutual friend and while I was at work, they would go take drives in the country or go play pool. Her husband spoke to me (I guess feeling me out to see how I felt), then when we confronted them (my husband and her), he acted like it wasn't a problem for him and I was the only one with the problem. I stood my ground and they distanced themselves, but not before trying to make me feel like I was some kind of monster ("we spend most of the time talking about you, you took my friend away"). I feel like it's dangerous to put yourself in a situation where you are discussing your innermost thoughts about your spouse with anyone other than your spouse or therapist. I guess I need to know if I do have the self-esteem issues that he claims I have. I just don't know other women who would put up with this. Is it me? Am I crazy? Help me out please!

Signed,

Love my man, but not his woman

 

My $.02: One thing a man doesn't like is a jealous woman. She questions why he has female friends, even if he's not poking any of them. He's known them long before she (the woman) came into his life, so what's the problem? Sounds like this woman has trust issues. Without trust, you have no relationship. I agree with the husband here; if he's not giving her a reason to mistrust him, she should fall back. Then again, there is a slight possibility he could be plotting to sleep with some of them, so I understand her concern. To protect himself, he needs to tone that down. He should know how some women are about their man having nothing but female friends. Many women, unless they're secure about their relationship, are not co-signing their man having multiple women friends. No woman would, or should be cool with her man spending time out and going to lunch with another woman, let alone many women. Something's not right there. Even if he's friends, somewhere down the line feelings are going to be caught. There's too many red flags with this. If another man was trying to push up on her, he'd be ready to fight.



Mercy Rule

In a nutshell, the Mercy Rule is when a sporting event is called off early due to one team's monstrous lead. For example, if there's a football game and one team is up 77-0 or 82-3, then there's the chance the game will be called off. Let's be honest, there's no way any team can come from behind to win with THAT huge of a deficit. I'm torn between the Mercy Rule because one, it's the opponent's responsibility to be ready for battle. Teams shouldn't have to take it easy on their opponent; there's wins at stake. The more wins you have, the greater your chances of playing for the championship. Two, when you have a massive lead over your opponent, you want to continue running up the score. To spare further humiliation, the game is called off. I think it's a sportmanship thing with the Mercy Rule. Just like you have to learn how to lose gracefully, you also have to learn how to win gracefully. Take Miami vs. Savannah State University. Miami Hurricanes destroyed Savannah State 77-7, and the 4th Quarter was shortened so Miami wouldn't run up the score further. Had the 4th Quarter been allowed to continue, I believe the score would've been in the 90's or 100's. I think the Mercy Rule should be done away with because it stifles competition. One team shouldn't be penalized for smashing on their opponent; that's what they're supposed to do. In sports, you're supposed to gain any advantage within reason. If that means getting off to a hot start and not letting up on your opponent, so be it. College football seems to be rife with blowouts: 62-7, 77-7, etc. Why doesn't the NFL have blowouts? Because in the pros, athletes understand what's at stake. They're working towards winning the Super Bowl, so each week NFL teams go to war. There's no Mercy Rule in the NFL, so there shouldn't be one in youth athletics.

300 Sandwiches=Engagement

Catching A Man With 300 Sandwiches

 

This story has gone viral all over the internet. Stephanie Smith has been challenged by her boyfriend to make 300 sandwiches or he won't marry her. So far, she's made 176 so I'd say she's doing pretty good on the challenge. I just love to see people get bent out of shape about this story without digging deeper. This is why the word "feminist" has such a negative connotation for many people. If a man buys his wife or girlfriend a Rolls Royce, a trip to Spain, or a mansion in Beverly Hills, no one thinks twice; it's almost expected of him. But if a woman decides to do something nice for her boyfriend, something that smells remotely of June Cleaver, the feminazis get out their knives. It's not about the 300 sandwiches, it's about meeting a challenge. When she says "He gave me a challenge—a dare, to some degree", it really is a testament of how a healthy relationship isn't about settling, but constantly pushing and challenging your partner to be better. For some that is stop swearing, quit smoking, loose weight, or make 300 sandwiches. Many women burnt their buns when they read this story; "She shouldn't have to make 300 sandwiches to prove her love for him". Those women remain unmarried because they aren't willing to go the extra mile to get & keep a man. Women who object to Ms. Stephanie making 300 sandwiches remain unmarried, because they're the main ones crying over why no man wants them, but they don't want to do what it takes to keep a man. It's not like she's telling women to follow her path; she's doing what she feels is necessary to get Eric to marry her, and if it's through sandwiches, oh well. The 300 sandwiches thing wasn't a literal challenge from her boyfriend. Instead, she has discovered how taking a genuine interest and putting forth actual effort into something HE loves has made their relationship stronger regardless of a ring. She has enjoyed learning to cook and experimenting in the kitchen. And the boyfriend appreciates her efforts (since he is a gourmet chef and all). When 2 people are willing to take an interest in something that defines their partner, then gratification makes the love that much sweeter. If more women had her humble spirit, men would come out of the woodwork to get at them. I think it's funny how some women are crucifying her, saying all kinds of craziness like: She has low self-esteem, he should love her regardless of her making 300 sandwiches, he's not going to marry her after the 300th sandwich, etc. As stated before, the same women criticizing her for using food to hook her man (Eric is already a gourmet chef, so he knows how to cook.) are the same women who don't have a man. Let them tell it..."My man should love me even if I don't know how to cook" Sorry ma'am, but many men will not entertain a woman who can't cook, let alone do simple things to show her love for him like making sandwiches.

 

TD Jakes I CAN DO IT AND I KNOW IT I've Got What I Takes

This is an encouraging word for anyone who feels insecure about their calling. No one is 100% confident, everyone has their moments of insecurity and if they say they don't, they're lying.