Fighting Temptation

Don't be in a relationship if you're not disciplined enough to fight off temptation ✊💯

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) December 24, 2014

What seems simple to most people is difficult for others for some reason. If you're in a relationship with someone, be exclusive to them. Having a mistress/side man is not a good look for you or the other person because you're leading them on. Side pieces and mistresses are exactly why many people are hesitant to enter committed relationships because having someone on the side signals greed. You're not satisfied with one good (wo)man because you think your side piece may give you what your spouse is lacking, so in your mind you get the best of both worlds by getting 2 for 1. The downside is having to juggle spending time with your main spouse and your extra. When it comes to relationships, men & women are greedy. It's not enough to be faithful to one (wo)man, folks got to be married and cheat on the side. If you know you're not faithful, don't waste your time and someone else's double dipping. That's how folks end up on Cheaters or First 48.
In today's world & with today's generation, with so many temptations & women who don't mind being mistresses & men with the "Wife & a GF on the side" mentality, who would want to be married to anyone these days? Marriage is a joke to some people because nobody takes it seriously; so I can't blame anyone when they say they'd rather not make that commitment. When someone decides to use wisdom NOT to get married, here come comments like "you're scared of committment, something is wrong with you, etc." If committment means having to question your partner's faithfulness, I want no part of that. The marriage community can have that For Better Or Worse mindset. Myself, and other likeminded folks can swerve on all that drama (swerve means to sidestep, avoid pitfalls, etc.). Life is too short to worry about someone stepping out on you. It's better to be single and have no worries, then get married to someone and you have to question their loyalty.

Men That Gossip

There was a time where a man would tell you to your face what he thought of you, now you have men gossiping like women.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) December 23, 2014

Once upon a time, men would tell you directly what's up. Good or bad, a man told you to your face what he thought of you and kept it moving. Those times are long gone because you have men gossiping like women about other men. That's not the code because men don't concern themselves with what other men are doing. Men keep it moving; they tend to their own affairs. A man that's on his grind doesn't have time to gossip about others because that sidetracks him from his purpose. I've had dudes gossip about me, but I could care less because I'm not what they speak about, and two, I'm not defined by what others think or feel about me even if they mean well. I appreciate well-meaning people, and those are the ones I rock with. These salt-shaking, gossiping like women dudes I have no respect for, and they have the nerve to call themselves men. If gossiping like a woman is what manhood is about, then society is in trouble. Men need to tighten up & stop gossiping like females because it doesn't look good on them. Don't let a man have the woman every guy wants, because you'll have back-ups getting in her ear about how he ain't nothing, he (the other man) can treat her better than him, etc. Depending on her loyalty, she may or may not be receptive to the gossip. I have little to no respect for men who gossip like women. If you have something to say about a man, bring it directly to him.

Looks Aren't Everything

Any relationship what was primarily built off of physical attractiveness is predestined to be short lived.

— Mind Of A Real Man (@RealMenTalk) December 19, 2014

I get it, looks matter to some people. I would be lying if I said looks weren't a factor in my desire of a woman. It's understood that women want security, and men want eye candy; we know this. The problem lies in people who place TOO high a value on looks that they overlook important traits like character, honesty, Godliness, common sense, etc. Unless you're genetically blessed, no one is born looking like Beyonce or Denzel. There's constructive surgery if you want to look like those stars, but they cost major money, and very few folks could afford the kind of reconstructive surgery needed to look attractive. If I met a woman who was a 4 in looks, but made up for it with a good heart/character, great cook, shapely and loved to please her man, that would make her more than beautiful in my eyes. The difference between me & other people is that I value cooperation over eye candy.

To me, her aesthetic appeal is icing on the cake, and we all know that icing is the best part of the cake. People who let bull come out of their mouth like "Those who say looks aren't everything are probably unattractive" are just showing how stupid they sound, and that comment just showed how unattractive they are. You can be fine like Beyonce, but if you esteem yourself above others because you're prettier than them, then YOU are the ugly one. I pity those who marry for looks because as we get older, we're not going to look like we did at 30 or 40 unless some folks have really good genetics, and that's only a small segment of the population who can look younger even though they may be up in age. You want honesty? Here It Is: Shallow people disgust me. You want someone to look like Beyonce or Idris Elba when you're not attractive in someone's eyes. I'm doing research to find out where they do that at.

Why do I pity people who marry for looks? Simple. Looks will fade over time, and what will people have to sustain them in marriage? Are you going to leave an otherwise good (wo)man because (s)he lost that 8-pack, gained weight or she has stretch marks from having children? Sadly, many people do. Those are folks that had no business getting married. Last I checked, the vows mention for better or worse, sickness & health, and so on. I look at a woman's inner beauty rather than her outer appearance. A woman may be considered average-looking by society's standards, but her character, heart, Godly nature, and positive disposition will make her far more beautiful to me.

 So while I understand that looks are a factor in someone's overall attractiveness, they shouldn't be the only factor. The best packages come how you least expect it.

Know Your Role: By Ms. Trina BabyTee Rogers

Trina BabyTee Rogers

13 hrs · Edited

I had a rather eye-opening conversation with a young lady whom I met through a good male friend. He asked me to talk to her about her attitude towards men. (For those who know me, I gladly obliged.) She initiated the conversation with the typical anthem of "independent woman", "I don't need a man who can't understand how important I am and value my royal essence by doing what I tell him to do!" (Sigh) I asked her if she is in a relationship now. No? Has she been in a relationship recently? Yes, bad as usual. What was the cause of the breakup? Him. In what way? He couldn't give me what I needed, Which was: Support my needs. Support how? Pay for it. She then proceeded to tell me how she can finance her own lifestyle but a man is SUPPOSED to do it. I asked her what she had accomplished so far, bachelor's degree in accounting, own home, no kids, nice car. I asked her how hard she had to work for those things. She recalled her struggle to work to pay for school, being discriminated against before finally being approved for her home and no one in her family there for her. Listened intently hoping something would click for her but it didn't, so I had to do it for her. I told her I applaud her for her tenacity and determination to achieve those accolades but why would you not give the same effort to a deserving man to have a good relationship? (Silence) Anything worth having is worth working for. You gave so much of yourself to achieve those other things why wouldn't you give that much for man? He isn't the only one who needs to put forth an effort to make it work. What you have accomplished doesn't make you caring, loving, respectful, honest, trustworthy or beautiful inside or out. A college education can't teach you how to love a man. A house doesn't mean you know how to make it a home for a man. A nice car doesn't mean you know how to make a man feel like a man. What you think about yourself is important to you, but it doesn't mean everyone else feel the same way. I would believe you don't need a man if that wasn't the first thing out of your mouth. The attitude and demeanor you display makes you unattractive to men and if you don't change it, you will be alone and end up old and bitter later in life. At this point she became thoroughly upset with me and said I don't know her or nothing about her life. I told her I didn't need to and what I said is completely based off of the information she initially gave me. I concluded with I don't believe you would be this mad if the stuff I said wasn't true. The truth hurts and it's not too late to fix it. You can say you don't need a man, but from your frustration with what I said, you damn sure want one. Just remember, the next one can't be treated like the last one. You had a part in the break up too. Men want women who know their role and can play it well!

‪#‎LIGHTNINGRODSTRIKES‬ 

‪#‎LAIDITALLOUT‬

‪#‎WON'THOLDBACK‬

‪#‎EACHONETEACHONE‬

Quick Marriage

If you think someone's marriage material in 6-12 months, you're crazy. Please stop making yourself look crazy with that statement.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) December 16, 2014

 When I hear people say they know if someone's marriage material in 6-12 months, my "Liar" meter goes off immediately because for one thing, you cannot know that fast someone's marriage material. People sound crazy when they make that statement because 6-12 months is the introductory period, that's the time where couples are getting to know each other. You're learning their likes/dislikes, their personality, and their outlook on life. You mean to tell me that you can learn ALL of that information in such a short time? I didn't fall off the turnip truck, I know better. It takes a minimum of 2 years to get to know a person, then shortly after comes engagement, then marriage. After being together for 2 years, then you speed up engagement and marriage because those 2 years of being together, you've established a foundation. A solid foundation ensures future success in relationships. A Facebook friend left an interesting comment that read (I'm going to paraphrase): It's a spiritual thing. If you have a solid prayer life, God can give you confirmation of someone being right for you. That's a real statement because when God gives confirmation of something, you know it's right for you and you won't have to 2nd guess. No sorrow will be added, no strings attached, just straight up confirmation from the Lord. Once you have confirmation, you can move forward with no worries, because you know someone's right for you because you took time to pray, and use discernment. Then & only then, can you speed up the process of marriage.

Taking Your (Wo)man For Granted

A man will not go hard for a woman who takes him for granted, just like a woman won't go hard for a man who takes her for granted.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) December 16, 2014

A man will not go hard for a woman who takes him for granted, just like a woman won't go hard for a man who takes her for granted. Why should spouses continue showing love to unappreciative mates? Sounds stupid if you ask me because here you are doing this & that to please your spouse, and they take you for granted. It's like they EXPECT you to bless them regularly. People do nice things because they want to, not out of obligation. Some (wo)men don't have to go out of their way for their spouse, but because of their love for him/her, they go as hard for them. I hate to see mates take each other for granted. It's the selfishness that turns me off from relationships as a whole. Honestly, I see why some people become selfish because they're tired of giving to unappreciative people. After being unappreciated for so long, two things happen: 1. You become selfish or 2. You limit your giving. If couples choose to continue doing for each other even if one is being selfish, that's their issue, but it won't be mine because I'm quick to say no, even if the request is reasonable. I don't mind doing for my lady, but she better appreciate it. Just as fast as I bless her, I can easily stop all that. Spouses need to learn how to appreciate each other, because at some point people get tired of being taken advantage of. Once someone reaches their breaking point, nothing you can say will change their mind.

A Private Life Is A Great Life

A private life is a great life.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) December 2, 2014

 I don't know about anyone else, but I value my privacy. I've been a private person for as long as I can remember, and I intend on keeping that way. I don't like many people in my business, even if they mean well. Some things I prefer to deal with on my own (with the proper exception of Jesus), and move forward. I believe if you're too open with your affairs, you can have your information used against you. There are some people who are genuinely concerned about your well-being, and there are some who pretend to be concerned just so they can have something to gossip about. How do you tell the difference? It's simple. In general, you can confide in your true friends and know their mouths won't shoot off like a rocket. The gossipers slither in like snakes and fake concern just to get your guard down. Once your guard is down, you start confiding in this person. Next thing you know, your business is all over the city. The person who confided is at fault because (s)he didn't "read" this person like they should have. (S)he should've asked themselves: Is this person going to tell my business? Any doubt of a person's confidentiality should be met with a swift no. That's how you keep yourself from being hurt, by staying low key. I've mentioned this in previous blogs, and I'll say it once more: There is such a thing as being TOO open. When you're too open, you run the risk of being hurt due to sheep in wolves clothing. Not everyone has your best interests at heart.