Can Men Love Unconditionally?

This is one of those questions that make me think. Can Men Love Unconditionally? Men are raised to be no-nonsense and have zero tolerance towards indiscretion. For a man to overlook offenses against him, some people will consider him weak. That being said, how much tolerance is a man supposed to have if his woman keeps hurting him over and over again? Keep in mind that some women are quick to get rid of a man if he violates. Every man is different which means each man has his own level of how much he will deal with. Generally, most men have a low threshold for BS, which is why some men are quick to dip out on their woman if she starts acting stupid. No one wants to be with an irritable mate. A man can see things through the rough times for so long until he gets to a point where he has to maintain his peace of mind. There's a time to fight and a time to cut your losses and move on. Not every relationship is worth saving, especially if you have pointed out your issue with your spouse to her and have given them a chance to correct the indiscretion. Sometimes, the problem isn't her, the problem may be HIM. Many men (and women) don't want to look at themselves because that's too much like swallowing pride and saying "I'm wrong." Rough times are inevitable in a relationship and depending on the level of love a man has for his woman, he may tolerate just enough from his woman to where he gives her an ultimatum. Sometimes, you have to give your spouse an ultimatum to act right or take flight. It seems like some women use the term unconditional love when they expect a man to constantly deal with her crap. No one has time for that! Peace of mind is far more important than dealing with someone at their worst. When women throw out unconditional love, I think she wants to test him in order to see how much she can get away with before he lays the smack down. There's a difference between not being able to love unconditionally and not being treated like a doormat. When you continue to love someone even though they aren't loving you back, you are allowing yourself to be a doormat. As much as a man may love a woman, he also has to love himself enough NOT to allow her to cause him further pain. I'm a forgiving person but that doesn't mean I have to take you back. If you overlook one offense, what else are you going to overlook? You have to nip issues in the bud before they fester into major problems. Forgiveness DOES NOT mean giving someone a pass to hurt you over and over again. That's the problem, people don't have enough love for themselves to enact limits on what they won't put up with. If the issue is on my end, I have no problem making adjustments because that's what you do if you care enough about someone to make the relationship work. I'm man enough to admit if the problem's with me because sometimes it's ME. All I expect of my future woman (whoever she is) is that she takes responsibility for her screw-ups because I'm willing to do the same. If she does that, I can work with her. BUT...after having given her fair warning and leeway to work on the issue; if she can't act right, she can take flight!

Thug Lovin Pt. 2

A sad realization I've come to is that some women love abusive men. He has no goals but he has swag so that's good enough for them. These are the same women who talk about how they've won. Ma'am, how have you won? You've won with a broken heart, bitterness towards good men that want to treat you well, ice-packs and the list goes on. If she calls that winning, then let her. Men should stop trying to save these women because it's obvious they don't want to be helped. Until a woman truly gets fed up, she will get out. Nothing anyone can say will make her see otherwise. It's a figure of speech (I'm too respectful to mistreat a woman) but let me go upside my woman's head and see if she loves me. Under no circumstance will I ever understand how a woman can stay with an abusive man. He doesn't have to be abusive, he can cheat on her and some women will stay. I feel like this: If you let one thing slide, you'll let major issues slide and at some point, you have to confront head on. You can't allow someone to bulldoze you and not say anything. Abusive/Controlling people have no respect for those who LET them run amok and this pic proves just that; some women have low self-esteem to where they will take any & everything a man gives them.

Open Marriage

Unless the concept of marriage has changed, I've never heard of an open marriage. Last time I checked, marriage was a bond between TWO people that made vows to cherish each other for better or worse. Just another example of how some people want their cake so they can eat it too. Marriage is for monogamy-oriented people, not swingers. That's all open marriage really is, glorified swinging. You're married to someone but you want to sleep with other people. If you can't be faithful to your spouse, maybe you shouldn't get married. It makes more sense than having an "open marriage" It's funny how people try to desecrate a sacred bond because they don't want the commitment. This is why people should take their time to get to know someone because there's no sense in marrying someone that's not on the same page. You're being faithful to your spouse but you don't know if they will return the favor. Stats like these are why people need to screen their partner very carefully.

Here are some statistics according to http://www.divorcestatistics.org: 

Marriage Divorce statistics (in percent)

First Marriage 45% to 50% marriages end in divorce

Second Marriage 60% to 67% marriages end in divorce

Third Marriage 70% to 73% marriages end in divorce

Do these sound like good odds to you? Not to me so that should tell people that the odds of your marriage being successful get slimmer with each marriage. You're lucky to stay married for 10 years or longer. Open marriages - majority of folks aint going for that. When you REALLY love someone, you are not trying to give them permission to be with someone else. Now the person you don't care about, totally different ballgame. You have egos and jealousy playing a huge part for men and women. "Here you go baby, you can see other (wo)men and still be married to me" Yes, see how that works out for you.

Don't Believe The Hype

Nojma Reflects

Don’t believe the hype that Black Men have a fear of commitment or don’t have the desire to marry. The right woman can turn “I will never be a one woman man” into “I want to be with her forever“. That is the power of a beautiful, knowledgeable, Godly woman, that knows her role, isn’t auditioning for yours, knows the beauty and power of submission, doesn’t flex on her man, laces her tone with compassion instead of contempt, walks with him in this journey called life, instead of running ahead so she can claim “first place“, revives you when your energy is low, shields his weaknesses from the world but promotes his strength, she is his diary, her mind is the pages, and the love is the ink with which he writes with, her heart is where the key remains secured, what he expresses with her, STAYS with her, she provides an atmosphere that allows him to speak his pain, fears, and frustrations without judgement , allows him to be vulnerable, because he knows that this woman understands him like no one else, he knows that this woman loves him like no one else, in her spirit he sees God, in her wombs he found the path that leads to his legacy, in her arms he finds solace, in his house he finds PEACE, in her food he finds healing, in their children he sees the perfect blend of both “he and she“…….and the type of man he “never” thought he would be…..is now the type of man he has PROUDLY BECOME.

This was another beautiful read by Nojma Reflects (she has her own facebook page, do a Search and subscribe to her writing). The right woman will make ANY man want to settle down. Why wouldn't a good man want a good woman? She completes him and helps him be a better man in all areas of life. She rides for him through the good & bad, keeps him lifted up in prayer and in turn, a REAL man will not stray from the love of a good woman.

Pre-Marriage Cohabitation

http://madamenoire.com/253017/ask-a-very-smart-brotha-why-you-shouldnt-live-together-before-marriage/

This was an interesting read. Everything Damon said coincides with my view on shacking up. Biblically, shacking up is wrong because it can lead to temptation. On the other hand, cohabitation provides the couple an opportunity to test the waters. If you live with someone long enough, you find out a lot about them. It's not like a couple going out frequently and spending time together or chatting on FB, texting, IM, etc. Those may be convenient but there's nothing like spending time with someone in order to find out about them. The only way cohabitation could work is if the couple sets clear boundaries on what will & won't work, otherwise shacking could do more harm than good. From a financial standpoint, cohabitation would work because the couple can share expenses; this would especially work if the couple lives in an expensive city like New York, Miami, Boston or San Francisco. I can see why some people don't want to live together because over time you want your own space and you don't have any privacy when you're living with someone. Allow me to expand on pre-marriage cohabitation from a Biblical standpoint: If a couple is living together with intentions of fornication, then yes it's dead wrong. The following scriptures speak on this: (Acts 15:20; Romans 1:29; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13, 18; 7:2; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7). The Bible promotes complete abstinence outside of (and before) marriage. Even if a couple living together isn't sexing, the assumption is made because they're living together. In that manner, the Bible forbids pre-marriage cohabitation altogether.

Marriage related, relationships, men/women, polygyny (playlist)

The first 10 minutes of this video sums up why some men need to do their homework on the woman they're involved with. In a nutshell, he's telling men to protect themselves. Just like women need assurances, so do men.When it comes to contracts you're always supposed to read them, ESPECIALLY the fine print. If you sign off without knowing what you're getting into, you were slipping. If you were never shown any terms and had to find out the hard way in divorce court how screwed you are, you haven't done due diligence. This is why prenups are smart to protect one's assets and wealth from tomfoolery and women who scoff at them just need to hush or go find a fool and call it a day. Because men need assurances too, that everything we do for her won't be in vain. Otherwise what is the point? 

When Was Romantic Love Invented?

"We don't have any Gentlemen anymore they ones we do have its old as dirt. Teach your kids some manners"

We don't have anymore gentlemen because there are no more ladies, NEXT.

Or rather all the gentlemen went where the ladies are, and how convenient chivalry and gentlemen are brought up in moments that benefit women.

But ask a female to cook for you on the first date and they will act stuck on stupid. CHIVALRY IS DEAD. D...E....A.....D!!

Was it ever meant to be alive in the first place? chivalry started around the 12-1500's around the medieval era, right around the time romantic love came out. Romantic love is only about 800 years old. So 2013-800 is 1212. Coincidence? I think not.

Look it up at http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/Q&A-800.html

The above is an excerpt from a post I read in a group on Facebook. The aforementioned dialogue is a good indication of the state of Romantic Love. "We don't have anymore gentlemen because there are no more ladies, NEXT." That statement is spot on because some women have forgotten what being a lady is about. They have it twisted that a man is supposed to powder her butt (LOL, I love that term) while she reaps the benefits. This comes from some of their fathers raising their daughters with an entitlement complex, that a man is supposed to do this, that and the third for her. That's why some men are reluctant to get married because from a Biblical standpoint, it seems like he has to do all the work and the woman doesn't have to do nothing. No man wants to feel like he's doing all the giving without getting anything in return. Relationships go both ways. A man is supposed to ask a woman what she's bringing to the table even if he does pursue. Now, if a man asks a woman what she's bringing to the table, she gets mad. Really? A woman getting upset because a man wants reciprocation? That's the mess I don't like. This is why MEN & WOMEN need to do their due diligence before getting involved with someone. Forget about dinner & a movie, a prospective couple should sit down and have a series of conversations in order to find out what each other's views on relationships are. A person will almost always show you their stance on relationships by their conduct. Pay close attention to clues (s)he gives. Do they have an entitlement complex? Do they feel as though they should be pampered while they don't have to reciprocate? If someone shows early on that they have an entitlement complex, it's always a bad sign of things to come. I don't think there is an issue with the concept of romantic love. The issue comes from lack of reciprocity and unrealistic and hypocritical expectations. If a man's supposed to do x,y,z for her out of love, what is she supposed to be doing for you out of love? A lot of women today just give the blank stare to that question and act as if merely showing up to be catered to/provided for/protected/given benefits/let you make them happy/etc. is sufficient. But she's supposed to be willing to put in an equitable share of effort into the relationship as well. If you are dealing with someone who doesn't feel the same way about you, that's always a bad sign of BS to come. Mismatches.