Auditioning For Marriage

Repost: Crissy N Jones
2 hrs
A lot of men want a girlfriend to act like a wife to prove that she is worthy of being a wife. Yet, these same men don’t want to act like husbands to prove they are worthy of being a husband. They are quick to say that a girlfriend shouldn’t expect the same level of treatment as a wife. So why is it that women need to audition for the role of a wife but men don’t think they need to audition for the role of husband? Perhaps women aren't requiring that men prove that they are worthy of being a husband. You have women who have been auditioning for the role of wife for years and still never get the part.

I see where she's coming from because a lot of men are good for that, wanting their woman to prove she's wife material by doing wifely duties, but some of these same men don't want to prove he's husband material to her. At the same time, usually women are the ones wanting to be married & if women are the main ones wanting marriage, wouldn't it make sense to prove yourself as wife material? Even if a woman wants marriage, BOTH parties are auditioning for the husband & wife role. A woman is evaluating a man's ability to care for her as a husband, and vice versa (husband evaluating the wife). There's one key difference: Women state their intentions for marriage early on in a relationship, whereas men like to get a feel for their lady before marriage is discussed. This way, no time is wasted on being with someone that's not on the same trajectory. I think of it as pre-screening; get it done early and if the person's not a fit, move on.

No one has the right to expect that which they aren't willing to provide; some men and women need to stop that foolishness. Technically, many men are right in that a girlfriend shouldn't expect wife treatment. A girlfriend is preparing to be a wife, so there are things that should be reserved for a wife, and vice versa (woman for her man). What many people don't realize is that auditions go both ways: A woman has to prove herself wife material and a man has to prove himself husband material. It's stupid to expect something for which you're not going to provide. Both men & women need to prove they are dating material first, relationship material, second and then marriage will come. Too many men and women acting like husband & wife, and it's not working.

Woman: The reason I give my man wife benefits is because I'm afraid he's going to leave me.

Me: That's that 2015 new-age relationship mindset of most people in relationships, give marriage benefits while in courting. So a woman's giving her mate wife privileges while they're dating, then what? There's nothing to look forward to on wedding day because he's been getting wife privileges since they first started seeing each other. It's become routine to him. If a man is willing to leave a woman because she won't give him wife benefits unless he puts a ring on it, show him the door. That's not someone she needs to be with anyway. If you're giving someone husband &/or wife privileges in the courting phase, they tend not to appreciate it because they figure they didn't have to work for it. What you didn't work for, you won't value it as much.