Trouble In Paradise

RHOA's Kandi Burruss wants marriage counselling with Todd Tucker http://t.co/nMil7jLhUH via @DailyMailCeleb

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) February 28, 2015

From the moment Todd & Kandi got married, they've been having trouble in marriage, and it boils down to Kandi. Why do I point the finger at Kandi? It's simple. She lets Mama Joyce meddle in their love life. All she has to do is tell Mama Joyce to but out of their love life, and everything will be fine between them. Just like a woman expects her fiancee to check his mom for disrespecting her, men expect the same in return. Todd is better than myself and a lot of men because most men wouldn't go for that. Either an ultimatum would be given to a woman to check her disrespectful parents, or he's gone. I truly believe much of the reason why some women can't find a quality man is because she lets her mother meddle in her love life. Mama Joyce is a member of the Disciples Of The Angry Black Sisterhood, and if she's not happy; she doesn't want her daughter Kandi happy either. Kandi isn't slick; we know what's good. Todd's not giving Kandi any action because he still feels slighted by how Kandi refuses to check Mama Joyce. Whenever Todd brings up Mama Joyce's disrespectful nature, Kandi shrugs it off like it doesn't matter. When that's done repeatedly, you have the nerve to ask your spouse for some action. Sorry, but the answer would be negative. I don't blame Todd for turning down loving because they have TOO many issues to fix. If any area in the relationship is fractured, chances are the love department is as well. Let some of these couples tell it, sex can solve all problems in a marriage because you forget what you were upset about. Todd could be using Kandi's desire for a baby to get back at Kandi for not standing up for him during Mama Joyce's tirade. That's Todd's way of controlling the situation. Todd's like: "I'm gonna fix her. She wants a baby, but I've got the sperm." Here's a few comments regarding Kandi/Todd's marriage issues from a Facebook friend's thread: 

Geoff Barlow-You need more than sexual attraction for a long lasting marriage. You can't live your whole life in the bedroom!

Thelma Chong-Kandi would have a better relationship with her husband if she wasn't so controlling. Right now, I feel that Todd was impressed by her ambition but he probably feels that she need to focus more on their relationship rather than her mother. Her mother put ideas in her head so now she wants counseling? I'm gonna tell you by her not standing up for him while she constantly belittling him left him with a bad feeling towards her. He knows she wants to have a baby so this is his way of getting back some control.

Richard Hudson (myself)-I feel for Todd, but at the same time, I don't because he should've bounced the first time Kandi didn't have his back when Mama Joyce went in on Todd. If I'm good to a woman, and her parent(s) still don't think I'm good enough for her, I'm gone. Women let their moms meddle in their love lives too much, but would expect a man to check his mom if she meddled. Yeah, single is continuing to look good for me. 

One more thing, counseling won't always fix things in a marriage.

Richard Hudson-The biggest mistake married couples make is thinking a baby can fix their problems. 

Paying Rent To Ex Husband

Strawberry Letter | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS

This strawberry letter is crazy for the simple fact that a 12-year old is on the streets selling drugs (he's got to be slinging drugs if his mother refers to his money as "street" money). The mother is setting her son up for two places: Jail or death. When you're selling drugs, you have to know what you're faced with. You have to contend with police and rival dealers trying to take over your spot. If your trap is really hot (meaning, it's generating major revenue), then expect fierce competition. The bigger question is why this boy's mother is allowing her son to stay out until 2:45 a.m. on a school night. 12-year olds aren't cognizant of the dangers of being on the streets after dark. If a man takes a single mother and her children into his home, they have to abide by his rules. If the husband wants to charge his ex-wife rent, he's within his right. I see why a lot of men don't take on single mothers because the minute a man tries to exercise authority, the mom has a problem with it. Sorry to say, but someone failed that boy along the way if he's getting street money. I don't see this ending well at all for that 12-year old, especially if he's getting street money. I would've divorced her too if she put her son's street money over my income that's keeping the household in tact. In my opinion, the husband wasn't wrong at all for asking his ex-wife to pay rent. When you're living under someone's roof, you're subject to their rules & regulations, no matter how unfair they may seem.

Christians Walk Out of Public Meeting Because of Atheist Invocation

This blog WILL upset some atheists, but I don't care. It's time that Christians speak out against this nonsense, so let's get into it. Atheists are funny for one reason: They claim to hate a God they don't believe in, yet this jerk opened the convocation with a sarcastic prayer that made reference to Satan being Allah. These attacks are getting bold by the minute, yet some Christians still remain sleep at the wheel. I guess I shouldn't be upset because the Bible speaks of this; the world hated Jesus, so his followers will be persecuted and mocked for their faith. I'm learning how to laugh because their time is running out. The enemy is looking to take as many people to hell with him as possible, so that's why he's got his goons on Earth doing his dirty work. America claims to be about freedom of religion, but really that's not the case. Every other religion is free to worship as they place, but all hell breaks loose if Christians proclaim the name of Jesus. I don't blame these Christians for walking out, I would've done the same thing. I don't stand for anything & anyone mocking my Lord. By the tone of this man's voice, he found it funny to mock Christianity, but it's cool though. People like him will have to account before God for every word they said & every deed committed. I just hope he makes it right with God before he leaves this earth. Attacks on Christianity used to be subtle, but now they're becoming bolder, and this video shows it.

Words Of Wisdom:Tweets, Facebook friends, etc.

Today's blog message will be a collection of quotes from some of my Facebook friends, and some tweets from myself. Here goes:

God has every intention of bringing to pass every dream and every promise He has put in your heart.

— Brenda Edwards (@BEdwards1115) February 26, 2015

What makes you laugh, can make you cry.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) February 26, 2015

There may be areas in your life where you seem disadvantaged but know you're at the advantage because of the blood. #ThickerThanWater

— Jewel Tankard (@Jeweltankard) February 22, 2015

You can't please everyone.

— Life is Good! (@rulesolife) February 23, 2015

When you've seen stuff beyond your years, it shows in your demeanor and your thought process. You have a different mindset than most people.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) February 21, 2015

God uses the willing, man or woman. I have no problem with women in church leadership positions. #PreachersOfDetroit

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) February 21, 2015

Don't ask to play, if you're not ready to pay.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) February 18, 2015

Your character is more important than your talent.

— Joel Osteen (@JoelOsteen) January 27, 2015

These last 4 are from Devin Rispress, who I came through Rickards High with.

If you wait until you can do something for everybody, instead of something for somebody, you'll end up doing nothing for nobody!! ‪#‎HelpSomebodyInNeed‬-Devin Rispress

Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain!!-Devin Rispress

Positive anything is better than negative nothing!!-Devin Rispress

The higher we are placed.. The more humble we should walk!-Devin Rispress 

The worst kind of people are those who deliberately offend someone, and make no apologies for their offensive remarks. #GrowUp.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) February 27, 2015

Burning Bridges: By MiMi Joseph

One of my Facebook friends dropped a powerful message that I'd like to share with you. Read On:

MiMi Joseph

5 mins · Tangelo Park, FL · 

Hey you,

I want you to burn every bridge that has kept you from seeing just how amazing you are. Burn that bridge that brings you back to depression. Burn that bridge that brings you back to the SELF-HATE. Burn that bridge that brings that heaviness to your heart. Burn any bridge that prevents you from seeing just how beautiful your life is. Perhaps it’s that painful situation that happened in your past that’s still manipulating your life to make you feel unimportant today. BURN THAT BRIDGE. Maybe it’s that mistake you made that’s persuaded you to live life in regret instead of living your life in appreciation, BURN THAT BRIDGE. Maybe it’s those moments of abuse that's programmed you to think that you’re useless. BURN THAT BRIDGE. LISTEN TO ME, that bridge can not exist in your life anymore because as long as it's there it will keep injecting your life with low self-esteem, with sadness, with hopelessness. You've got to UNDERSTAND that SOME bridges are meant to be burned because there’s certain things in your life that you can’t afford to go back to. So if that bridge is not leading you to God, then stop crossing it. If that bridge is not leading you to smiles, then stop crossing it. If that bridge is not leading you to peace, then stop crossing it. If that bridge is not leading you to LOVE, then stop crossing it. When we keep bridges in our lives that need to be burned, we only cheat our hearts from the bridges that need to be built.

Love you love bugs, and GOOD MORNINGGGGGG.

Women In Church Leadership

God uses the willing, man or woman. I have no problem with women in church leadership positions. #PreachersOfDetroit

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) February 21, 2015

Let some people tell it, women shouldn't be in church leadership. For too long, some people hold onto ancient thinking that women shouldn't be in the pulpit. I've never subscribed to that theory because from my independent study of the Bible, women were instrumental in Jesus getting his message to the masses. True, many women didn't hold leadership roles back in Biblical times, but they played a role nonetheless. God uses the willing, man or woman. That's why I don't have problems with Joyce Meyer, Paula White, Dorinda Clark-Cole, or any other woman evangelist because many times, they're more receptive to God's leadership. I'm not saying men aren't led by the Holy Spirit, but some of them have their own agenda being in the pulpit. Sometimes, women make better leaders because while they make the final decision, they consider subordinates' ideas, and many times make the best decision for all. It's a new era, and God is no respector of persons. Whoever is willing to be used, that's who God uses; if it's a man, great. If it's a woman, that's fine too. I think many people are threatened by a woman in church leadership because they think she'll let her ego get in the way, which may be true because you never know someone's nature until you give them some authority. Not everyone can handle authority because they use it to undermine their subordinates or try to be Saddam Hussein. Whatever the case may be, I stand with ANYONE (man or woman) who is willing to be used by God in ministry. 

Be Careful Who You Trust

Be careful who you trust.

— Life is Good! (@rulesolife) February 26, 2015

I used to trust everyone, but not anymore. When you trust everyone, you open yourself up to trusting the wrong people. Not everyone is trustworthy so it behooves people to trust in doses. For me, I trust those who I deem as trustworthy, and I expect the same from them. No matter how much some people have been hurt, they're still trusting of everyone. In my mind, I'm side-eyeing them because I'm like "You've been done wrong, and you're still going to trust everyone that comes in your circle" They're better than me because the way I'm set up, you have one time to destroy my trust. Once trust is broken, it takes a while to rebuild or the trust was broken to the point of no return. I look at couples who've been through infidelity, and somehow they rebuild their trust. I can see the first time and rebuilding trust, but if there's repeated instances of infidelity, at some point someone needs to examine their self-worth and be willing to drop that zero. When I say not everyone is trustworthy, I mean it. When you're meeting someone for the first time, they're putting their best foot forward (and you're doing the same) because you two are trying to find common ground. No one's going to be honest enough to tell someone their faults if they're trying to get to know someone. Most people would tell you their good side, and let you find out their faults on your own. After you find out, the choice is yours as to whether you'll overlook their shortcomings and focus on the good. I'm trusting until you violate my trust. Once you violate, most likely I can never see you in the same light; just like if I violate someone's trust, I would expect them NOT to trust me. Trust is like a precious diamond, very valuable and rare.

Anthony

This is a short documentary about a disabled teenager named Anthony who was bullied by black teenagers. He got so tired of the bullying that he tried to kill himself, until something powerful happened: A young lady stopped him from exterminating himself by offering him a helping hand. Anthony has a disability, which made him a bigger target. It's one thing to be a bully, but to bully someone with a disability, well...I don't respect that at all. This is why I advocate mandatory self-defense courses in junior and high school because I believe there would be less bullying if students were taught how to stand up for themselves. Bullies never target those who can give them the blues, they always prey on the weak. Watch the video.

The OTHER Woman

Strawberry Letter: Tired Of Living A Lie

The solution is straightforward, but having this woman cut ties with all these men would be too much like right. Anytime a woman is the side chick, she has to accept that she will NEVER be the main woman. She knew that going into these relationships, so she needs to figure something out. The third man has a woman, and she knows about her (this woman who wrote the letter). Now, either the third man's wife is totally secure in being the main woman, or he's got some polygyny going on. Regardless, I will never understand how some women settle for being an extra when they can find a man that wants to be her ONLY. The guy she's been with for 7 years: You either love someone or you don't, it's just that simple. She loved something about him if they had a 7-year relationship. There's no way a couple can last unless they are compatible on all fronts. Sure, they may have differences, but what they share should outweigh what's different about them. If the differences outweigh similarities, the relationship won't last. Why do some people think many relationships fail? Because there's no common ground. The 2nd guy (known 3 years)-She might as well give that up because there's no way he's leaving his girlfriend for her. Settle for being a sidepiece or she can work on herself before getting into a monogamous relationship with a one-woman man. Mr. MoneyMan-If he's giving her $$$, one can only wonder what she's giving him in return. I don't care what anyone says, but NO MAN is just gonna give a woman money without expecting something in return; that's called tricking. Women like this usually have low self-worth, and feel they can't find their own man, so they settle for another woman's. For the woman who knows about her (the letter writer), kudos to her for supposedly being ok with it, because not too many women would go for that, as they shouldn't.

Strawberry Letter: Husband Requests Wife To Be Unfaithful

Strawberry Letter: Husband Requests Wife Be Unfaithful

First off, I want to say that this husband is a fool. No husband in his right man would co-sign his woman sexing other man. I bet if the wife followed through with his request, all hell would break loose so that's why I have a hard time taking this Strawberry Letter. Going further, many of these letters are for shock value because as I've stated before, nobody has issues of this magnitude, at least not enough to ask Steve for advice. The wife should look at her husband crazy & tell him to fall back with this nonsense. She's doing the right thing by remaining faithful even if her husband encourages her to do otherwise. He says it's to spice up their love life, which may (not) be true, it depends on the couples. You can't put nothing past anyone today, so I wouldn't be surprised if this were valid. His request says a lot about the respect he has for his wife, and I don't blame her for refusing because when you cheat on your spouse, you have to face judgment for your crime. Not only do you have to worry about getting caught, but you have to consider the effect that infidelity would have on one's family. He may like the idea of his wife sexing other man, but again...no REAL man would allow his woman to freak other guys. You know what I think? He's setting his wife up for the okie doke. If she cheats, he has a reason to suspect she was creeping all along. Believe it or not, people get set up for downfalls all the time. It's crazy, but that's the world we live in. He has no respect for himself or his wife, so she has a decision to make. Is she going to throw away 34 years of marriage because of his asinine request? She would be justified in doing so. If his sex life was suffering, maybe both of them could try to rekindle that spark. No reason to want your (wo)man to sleep with other (wo)men. My advice to the husband is to have an arena of seats, and the wife needs to continue being faithful to him, or leave. There's no sense in staying with someone who wants you to disrespect your wedding vows.

Shark Tank

You've probably heard of ABC's hit show Shark Tank. Shark Tank is an entrepreneur-based show where entrepreneurs pitch their companies to investors in hopes of landing an investment. If the sharks like the idea, they agree to invest their own money for a certain percentage of the owner's company. One shark may invest, or multiple sharks may partner with each other in ownership. Friday's Shark Tank got real because Christopher Gray, owner of a scholarship app that helps students secure funding for college and graduate school agreed to a deal with Daymond John and Lori Greiner.  The catch was that he had to take Lori's offer immediately or she was out. Christopher almost missed out on a deal because he hesitated. He was like "I'd like to hear the other offers first." That's fine, but when opportunity presents itself, not all the time can you think about it. Sometimes, you have to take the deal and then find out the terms.

Mark Cuban, Robert Herjavec, & Kevin O'Leary were in their feelings because Daymond and Lori offered Christopher a deal without asking questions about the company. I understand where they're coming from, but I also see where Lori and Daymond's side. Cuban, O'Leary and Herjavec didn't get to where they are by investing all willy nilly. They got where they are by being disciplined investors. They asked tough questions to entrepreneurs because they want to know if they invest, when will they get their money back, and how. Also, they ask questions to gauge how much of a contribution they can be to that person's business. It makes good business sense to ask before you invest. From Lori & Daymond's standpoint, sometimes you have to give people a break. Very few people became successful on their own; most people had doors opened for them to get where they are. We all need a handout from time to time, especially if the successful person knows what it's like to struggle, and (s)he sees that we're trying to make it. It's not always about money, but it's about giving people the break they need.

Run For It, Run For It, Run!

Run For It, Run For It, Run!

The fact that her fiancé lied about his marital status from the jump should’ve told her about his lack of character. Her father was SMART to have him checked out – something that more WOMEN need to start doing to save themselves from walking into unhealthy situations with dishonorable men. There’s a reason her instincts are telling her not to marry this man. Her parents are wise not to mettle. They’re not telling her not to marry him, but aren't encouraging you to do so either. That decision is HERS. Women have intuition for a reason, the problem is they don’t ACT on it – especially when it comes to a man. They’re too pressed and desperate to have one, or hold on to one even if he’s not worth holding onto. She discovered other lies he’s told although these circumstances were in his past and before her; yet more lies. The relationship started out based on a lie (his marital status), then she found out more lies. Guess what, there were probably FUTURE lies as well.

His “baby mamma” drama is going nowhere. Unfortunately, that comes with the territory when dating men with children, particularly young children. She has much to consider. If the positives outweigh the negatives, then she should continue seeing him, and see where it goes. No need to rush into marriage with someone who you have doubts about. That would be foolish.

Wise Beyond Your Years

When you've seen stuff beyond your years, it shows in your demeanor and your thought process. You have a different mindset than most people.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) February 21, 2015

What does it mean to be wise beyond your years? Depending on who you ask, you could get different answers. I know for me, being wise beyond your years entails having a grown-up, mature mindset even though you're a young age. I used to think something was wrong if a young person was more mature than someone older, but now I embrace it. When I recognize a young person that's wise beyond their years, I think they were raised right from early on. Society will have you believe that you're supposed to do stupid stuff in your youth, but it's refreshing to see more young people being wise beyond their years. Because many people had to take on adult responsibilities as children, they were forced to grow up fast. When you're forced into adult roles as a child, you develop an adult mindset. It shows in your speech and how you carry yourself. What should be sad is seeing adults clowning like children: Gossiping, name-calling, doing childish things. Now THAT'S shameful. When you've seen stuff beyond your years, it shows in your demeanor & your thought process. You have a different mindset than most people. You surround yourself with likeminded folks because you realize that you are the company you keep. Many times, someone becomes wise beyond their years through upbringing; taking on adult responsibilities during childhood. For other people, they had elders pouring into their lives about how life works, and that's also how someone can become wise beyond their years. When it comes down to it, being wise beyond your years is a blessing because you can see things in a way most people can't, which puts you on another level.

My Thought For Today

A lot of people like to say "You don't know what you're not willing to put up with until you're involved with someone" It's like this: When I speak into the atmosphere what I won't tolerate from a woman, I mean what I say. Any woman is welcome to test me, and she'll find out how much I mean business when I serve her her walking papers. She won't get a chance to make the correction because in my mind, she should've thought about the repercussions of trying me. Too many men are scared to put the fear of God in their lady because they don't want to come off as controlling. If demanding peace of mind from your significant other comes off as controlling, tough nuggets. Both couples should be willing to put the fear of God in each other because that forces the couple to be on point at all times. It's something about the threat of losing a good mate that causes one to do whatever it takes to keep their spouse, within reason. In other words, check your (wo)man on small matters so they won't become big issues.

I Love Her

Strawberry Letter | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS

My respect for men who try to heal broken women is dwindling by the second. This man is involved with a hateful single mother who says all kinds of mean things if she doesn't get her way; to top it off, he still loves her and thinks she's a great person. If someone says vicious things if they don't get their way, they're not a great person to be around. If someone's a great person to be around, it shows in their demeanor and disposition. They may be going through rough times in their lives, but they don't take it out on their loved ones. The Bible says that what's in your heart will come out of your mouth, so if you say something hurtful, it was in your heart all along just waiting to come out. The only reason I can come up with as to why he's still with her is because he's trying to see the good in her. By trying to see the good in her, he can work through her pain and have a beautiful relationship. He's better than me because the first hurtful thing she said to me, I'm gone. I don't have the patience to heal a broken woman, nor should I have to. Why should I pay for what her previous ex did? I'm not.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them. She's showing him her nature, so what's the problem? He's trying to change her, but you can't change someone who isn't receptive to change. Only God can change a person's heart, so he should leave it up to the Lord to work on her because from the sound of this letter, he's fed up with her bad attitude. When the man told her daughter he could handle her, the mother puts him to the test. She's pushing him away just to see if he's going to stay. If he leaves, that's confirmation for her that he's a "weak man" who can't handle a supposed "strong black woman" Newsflash: Animals need handling, not humans. Sounds like he doesn't know his worth as a man because if he did, he would've left at the first instance of emotional abuse. When someone emotionally abuses you, it's a matter of time before they physically abuse you.

American Black Women: MrEnigmatic Opinion

This commentary from MrEnigmatic Opinion caught my attention, so I'm gonna share. The commentary is long, but worth the read.

Black American Women.

A man once told me that if you get involved with a black woman, you should keep one bag packed and your running shoes ready. He said that you should make sure that you do not allow her to have anything to hold over your head, specifically children, because it will force you to make her a permanent part of your existence. Children are their only source of power over a black man and they are willing to use that power to its fullest he told me. I pondered his theory for awhile and I suppose I understand where he was coming from. I pondered our recent history with black women. If you look at our recent history with black women, loyalty to us, and our culture has not been anywhere near a priority to modern black American women. Yet many will argue that "they are not all like that" or ask if a black woman has broken your heart solely as a means of shutting down any way for us black men to question their overall collective mentality. Merely saying that they and other black women they know do not fit into the overall disloyalty, is supposed to be enough evidence that we black men are simply paranoid and insecure. Let's examine.

Since the 1980's, black men have been bombarded with imagery and suggestions of black women choosing and encouraging black women to be the wives and lovers of men of other races, white men in particular. Although this is not something women of other races do, black women would argue that this is in some way "normal" that they are simply "exploring their options". Completely ignoring that based on our history with white American men, to choose open forums such as television and magazines is an insult to us black men. Yet they continue to do it without regard to that history.

They have openly called us "gay" which is a favorite insult of theirs, although statistics show that black men are no more gay than white men, yet calling white men a bunch of gay or bisexual men isn't exactly on their radar. They've aggressively called us "down low" in order to put that image out there to anyone willing to listen, particularly if it's women of other races. Now you can even at times see white men mimicking black women and their "black men are gay" chants. Mostly because the image of a gay black man helps destroy our image of masculinity, which white men have been trying to do since the day our ancestors first stepped foot onto Charleston, South Carolina soil.

They have aggressively pushed the bisexual black man image in order to explain their current HIV epidemic, because they believed this preserves some image of wholesomeness they believe they have in the eyes of the public, mainly so that men of other races would not see them as dirty women. They only want black men to appear dirty. The truth is that black women are leading all in HIV contractions for the same reason they lead all in unwed pregnancies; and the black women who contract it the most, are far from wholesome. They are predominately IV drug users, prostitutes and black women who have more condom-less sexual partners than their children have birthdays. condoms. For them to say that black men being DL is the reason for it is like blaming winter coats for cold weather.

They have routinely called us "broke ass niggas" although reliable data shows that black men earn more money than they do. They have never been afraid of their own contradictions in this area. On one hand they expect black men to show his money, to wear it on his back or to ride in it, while spending money simply to spend time with them. If he doesn't, he gets no where with them. He is considered a broke loser and unworthy of their time. Yet they will criticize black men for not being fiscally responsible, and praise white men for not doing the same frivolous things with his money they expect us to do with ours in trying to impress them.

They expect us to be surrogate fathers to their bastard children, or to accept that they prolifically abort the ones they cannot use. They expect praise when their sons become lawyers, but want us to join them in blaming the fathers when he becomes an abominate Thug Nigga. Black men are dead beats when the children are failures, but are not necessary when they are successful.

So what do we do black men? What do we do with this? What can we do with so much disdain and disloyalty? Because I want to keep my reproductive odds high, I have to take the advice of the gentleman I mentioned at the beginning of this post, and make sure I'm always free to leave. I will never give up on black women completely, but I won't give them the power to use their vagina's or their ovaries to gain control over me. I control me. I keep my bags packed when dealing with them, but if some of you progressive brothers choose not to even enter their space...I suppose I understand.

EO.

Mixed Up In Mess

Strawberry Letter | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS

Sometimes I wonder if these Strawberry Letters are for shock value because I think to myself "No one can be this screwed up". Then I realize these are regular people with real problems. At the same time, many of these problems have common sense solutions, such as leaving a cheating (wo)man. Do you really need Steve's insight as to whether you should leave a cheating (wo)man? I mean really, the answers are in many of these Strawberry Letters. This letter here is a special mess. The husband slept with his stepbrother, and she slept with her husband's stepfather and had his baby. I guess they give new meaning to "All In The Family." It's like this: She has no reason to be in her feelings because her stepfather in law wants nothing to do with her. At least he feels guilty even though he can't erase what he did. When you feel guilty about wrongdoing, the best course of action is severing all ties & that's what the father in law did. I don't expect the wife to feel guilty because she has no discretion about herself sexually or morally. If she slept with her husband's stepfather, there's no telling what other men in the family she's willing to sleep with because she felt "lonely." To be honest, I can't come down on the husband and wife because both have done each other wrong. One slept with his stepbrother, and the other slept with her husband's father in law and had his baby. It's all one big mess to me, and I'd like an update on this story. I will say this: If they're entertaining counseling, they might as well forget it because mess of this magnitude probably can't be fixed. To me, there are some offenses that are abominations, and sleeping with someone in your family is one of them.

Top 5 Reasons Why some Christian Guys are still Single (@trackstarz) #tr...

This was posted on my wall by a Facebook friend. It was so good I had to give my $.02. A while ago, I listened to a similar broadcast stating the Top 5 reasons why some Christian women are single. While I agree with many of the points listed, I'd like to chime in on a couple reasons. One reason listed was that some Christian men are "boring". Personally, I don't see anything wrong with being boring because at times, being boring can keep you out of trouble. Think about it, nobody in their right mind wants a spouse that's always going out. There isn't that much in the world that warrants being out all the time. If a woman can't handle my homebody lifestyle, she's not the one for me and I'm ok with that. If a woman has to be sociable 24-7, to me she's seeking validation from people who could care less about her. There are times to be outgoing, and times to be home. In the same light, many of these women claim to want a Godly man. Last time I checked, if a man is dedicated to living for Christ & it shows in his walk with God, then being outgoing is the least of his concerns. The old saying rings true: There's someone for everyone, which is why people need to seek likeminded folks. Outgoing people seek outgoing people, homebodies seek homebodies, etc. When I hear someone say they want someone outgoing, that usually means they want someone who's constantly going out 24-7. The problem is that there will be times where your spouse wants you home with them, and you'd rather be the life of the party.

I'm NOT judging Christian women who aren't virgins because none of us are perfect, but perfection is what we strive for daily. That being said. My only gripe about a Godly woman who's not a virgin is that she's already experienced sexually, and what if she meets a Christian man who's a virgin? Will she be able to deal with his inexperience or is she going to try and pressure him into hitting it because she may be feeling the spirit one day? I don't know too many Christian women who aren't virgins that are willing to respect a man's virginity. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: You can't tell the difference between Christian women and secular women because many Christian women have worldly mindsets.

Shirley Strawberry

Much of my blog messages have come from Steve Harvey's Strawberry Letters. With this letter, Shirley Strawberry herself gives advice. Listen to the audio

Strawberry Letter

Steve Harvey Strawberry Letter: Pregnant Sister In Law

Pregnant Sister In Law

People are so messy until it's not funny anymore. This guy has the nerve to ask Steve if he should keep this secret (sexing her sister-in-law) when his wife is dying of cancer? This is why I can't fool with people because it seems like everywhere you turn, someone is doing something foul. This wife is dying of cancer, and for him to contemplate telling her while she's on her deathbed is low, even for him. He's man enough to lay down with her, he should be man enough to tell her what it is, but he probably won't tell her because that would be too much like right. He's using being distraught as an excuse to sleep with his wife's sister. Let me guess: She was fine and had curves for days, so he couldn't help himself. That's usually how it works, doesn't it? They console each other during a rough time, and clothes magically disappear. They aren't fooling anyone with this nonsense, they knew what they were doing.

Both the husband and sister-in law are as rotten as they come. What kind of man is he? What kind of woman is she? The wife is already dying of cancer; I wouldn’t add to her grief by telling her, but his wife isn't stupid; women have ways of finding out. Both of them ought to be ashamed of themselves. He says he loves his wife, but obviously he doesn't because if he did, he wouldn’t have messed around with her sister. The sister-in-law doesn’t love her sister because if she did, she would not have messed around with him. Love is action, and their actions showed otherwise. I just feel very bad for the wife, not only for what she's going through, but for the sorry jokers that are in her life. Best case scenario, she recovers from cancer and lights both of them up verbally and physically. Worst-case scenario, she dies of cancer, but at least she's at peace.

If You Think You're Lonely Now

Today's blog message is titled If You Think You're Lonely Now. My blog is going to be a spin on the Bobby Womack classic, later remade by K-Ci and JoJo. Saturday was Valentine's Day, the day were couples go all out to show love for each other. Call me crazy, but why would you wait one year for a  day to show your (wo)man how much you love them? You should be showing them love year round, and Valentine's Day is the culmination of the rest of the year. My heart goes out to all singles who spent V-Day alone. Some (wo)men felt some kind of way because they had no one to call their Valentine. In my opinion, Valentine's Day is overrated because you spend hundreds of dollars to show love for your spouse, only to fuss with them the next day. Where do they do that at?😂😭You and your spouse are lovey-dovey on Valentine's Day, and tomorrow y'all are at each other's throats. If that's what love is, I want no part of it.

I can't stand when (wo)men are so desperate for a Valentine that they'll go on a date and break up with someone the next day. I believe the term for that is "user". Someone spends money on you for V-Day, they think you could be the one, but you're using them because your butt doesn't want to be alone for V-Day, so you date them for a month leading up to V-Day, then break up with them. Richard doesn't respect that. Make it so bad, the (wo)men who pull this mess don't feel bad about it. In their mind, they felt special for one day & afterwards, they have no use for that person. This is where my discernment kicks in to avoid these types of women because she tried it. No woman will get my goodness without me. In other words, she takes me along with the benefits of being with me. I wonder how many (wo)men got together for a month leading up to Valentine's Day, only to break up the day after. This happens much more than I want to admit, but I'm glad it does because it shows me who people really are.

In conclusion, if you're a (wo)man that feels some kind of way about being alone for Valentine's Day, and you pull this mess of getting together only for one day to break up afterwards, you make me sick. Karma has a way of checking you.

Why Women Aren't Being Pursued

A woman is only worthy of pursuit, if the man sees her potential value to him.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) February 14, 2015

So many women complain about interested suitors not pursuing them, which leads some women to believe that something's wrong with them. It's like this: A man will pursue a woman he sees value in. If a man doesn't recognize a woman's value, there's nothing wrong with her per se, it's just that she's not valuable to him. The simple solution for her is to remain single until the right man recognizes her value. No sense in crying over why this & that man isn't checking for you. People need to stop depending on others to see your worth; not everyone will see your worth and that's fine. Maybe it's not for some men to realize a woman's worth because many men are looking to come up at a woman's expense, and that's not a good look. It's happened many times over; a woman works with a man to help him come up, then once he's made it, he leaves her. She's stuck looking crazy because she invested all this time into a man, and another woman reaps the benefit of her work. She had good intentions, but the wrong man sensed her worth and took advantage of it. I'm all for pursuing a woman, but I have to recognize her value to me. How can we make each other better? By getting with a woman I can't see the value in, I'm doing her a disservice (hopefully she would feel the same about me), and I don't do people like that. If a man pursues a woman, it's because he sees the value she could bring to his life. When a man sees a woman's value, he will move heaven & earth to lock her down because he knows other cats are sitting in the cut ready to take his spot.

Husband Sleeping With Sister

Strawberry Letter | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS

After reviewing this strawberry letter, it's safe to say that this man has express flighted himself to hell. It's one thing to for a man to sleep with another woman, but when that woman is your wife's sister, that's messy all across the board. He better be glad she didn't go off on him, because we might be watching him on CSI or First 48. In any event, this man was dead wrong for sleeping with his wife's sister. You have a good woman who gave you a precious daughter, and he's going to pull this mess. I'm not coming down on the wife for taking her daughter and filing for divorce, because the wife has to look out for herself and child. Maybe the sister was a knockout so he had to get a taste; or, he could be frustrated with his woman and he wanted a stress reliever, and there she (the wife's sister) was. All she can do is forgive her sister, and keep her out of her life as much as possible. Yes, she can't divorce family but she can refuse to allow bitterness and anger to cloud her body. The sister and husband will pay for their misdeed on Judgment Day, so she shouldn't worry about it. She's already left him, so that's the first step; next step is focusing on her child. The sister is going to live with that for the rest of her life. When they were caught sexing, the wife's sister couldn't look at her because the sister knew she was foul. Knowing this, sometimes family can hurt you the worst because they know everything about you. The wife has every right to be upset with her sister for violating. If she wants to cut her sister out of her life for good, that's her decision. Sometimes, toxic people (family or not) need instant removal.

Unfaithful Wife, I Told Him To Invite Her Over

Strawberry Letter | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS

The more I read these Strawberry Letters, the more I'm convinced that almost no one is capable of honoring their wedding vows. It's like everywhere you turn, infidelity is going on. Why get involved with someone if you're going to cheat on them? That's stupid. It's like this, you can get involved with someone and you still don't KNOW them like you think. You're not around that person 24-7, so there's no telling what they're thinking. I don't care what anyone says, no one's completely open with their spouse. People will tell you what they want you to know because if they decide to scheme on you, they don't want to be found out. It seems like military servicemen & women are prone to infidelity because both spouses are apart for several months, sometimes up to a year and in that time frame, one or both could be sleeping with another person. This is why people don't need to be airing their business because they don't know who's watching, and in this instance it was the children who knew about the infidelity.

When it comes to cheating, actions tell the whole story. Being secretive, denial, getting in feelings when confronted about infidelity, and then catching your mate in the act should give him all the clues he needs of a cheating wife. Maybe the wife didn't understand what she was getting into with a military man. She liked the idea of being with a military man, but she doesn't agree with the required separation period. Anyone who's in the military will vouch for the following statement: When someone signs up for the military, their family signs up with them. The reason is while the (wo)man is fighting overseas, the family is taking care of the homefront in his/her absence. This man has all the clues he needs to recognize a cheating spouse, the question remains: What is he going to do? Personally, she would be gone at the first offense. I'm a believer that people do what you allow. If your spouse continually cheats on you, it's because you allow them to. You're scared to be alone so you'll put up with infidelity just to say you have someone.

Strawberry Letter: Jan. 19, 2015

Normally when I do Strawberry Letters, I always post the link to the letter and give my $.02, but I want viewers to listen to the audio version of Steve's Strawberry Letter. This situation is bonkers.

Zing! Pt. 2

It's hard to find people that are worthy of love. No wonder why most people remain single because you have to go through so much crap, much of which is out of your control.

2. Some (wo)men say they hate their spouses, but they love how (s)he puts it down in the bedroom. 

3. Most women have Master's Degrees in Taxation, but somehow they consistently pick doggish men.

4. I'm starting to enjoy Scandal. It's got a strong plot, which is ironic because I was the same one ranting & raving against the show. Moral of the story: Give something a chance before you write it off.

5. President Obama has had everyone at his head from Day 1, but he shut everyone down with his famous statement: "I don't have anymore campaigns to run, because I've won both of them."

6. It's sad that majority-black cities have very high violent crime rates, poverty, and failing schools.

7. Memphis is a city I wouldn't mind living in long-term. Lots of black history, and interesting culture. Reasonable cost of living and the job market is pretty good.

8. NCIS Los Angeles has had some serious firefighting. Good guys and bad guys exchanging gunfire.

9. Since I've been following Billy Graham's Bible reading plan, I've gotten so much out of God's word.

10. This is someone's response from a Facebook group I'm in: You know if you asked a lady the difference between thyme and oregano, she'd think you were being disrespectful, but if you asked if she did anal, she's going to give a coy smile.

Confession: What I Dislike

Until today, I've never done a confession. I'm going to start doing a series of confessions as to what I dislike about humanity. There's a time for positivity, and a time to be real in your writing, so that's what I'm about to do. Today's Confession is titled What I Dislike. Here we go:

1. I dislike people who can't get along with others. It's not all about you, so get used to having to co-exist with various personality types. That doesn't mean you have to be friends with them, in fact I'm a proponent of assembling with likeminded folks. Opposites do not attract, as society has you believe.

2. I dislike men who put women on a pedestal that they get in their feelings if a woman rejects them. She rejected you, so what. One may say no, another will say yes. I've never had to deal with rejection from women because I don't value them enough to want romantic involvement.

3. I dislike people that talk too much. You have the right to remain silent because anything you say, can & will be used against you.

4. I dislike those who try to shame me into feeling bad for being single. While you're fussing with your spouse, I'm good on this end. No arguing, having to compromise to please her, etc. You folks can have that "For Better Or Worse" nonsense. My happiness and peace of mind is far more important than loving someone at their worst.

5. I dislike women who say "I can't stand women that can't get along with other women". If getting along with other women means catty behavior, no wonder most women refuse to associate with their own gender. I don't blame them.

6. Everybody has a gift of "discernment". Right, they think I was born yesterday. Discernment is a silent gift, meaning you don't have to brag about having it.

Church Meets World, World Meets Church

The world has become churchy, and the church has become worldly.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) February 8, 2015

You can't tell the difference between the church & the world (and vice versa) nowadays. The church has become worldly, and the world has adopted a church mentality. Keep in mind that I have NO problem with secular society adopting a church mindset because there are unsaved folks that are more Christlike than Christians themselves, which is crazy but it's the truth. Some unsaved folks know more about Christianity and God's word than Christians, but that's another topic. If more of the secular world adopted the church mindset, there would be a major shift in society. Many of society's ills would be wiped off the map. 

My issue is with church folks adopting a worldly mindset. You have some Christians who are scared to speak against immorality for fear of being disliked. I like Joel Osteen's preaching style, but I have to be real: When Houston mayor Annise Parker (Houston's first openly lesbian mayor) went on a rampage against various Houston ministers, Joel should've spoke out on their behalf. It's by God's grace Annise didn't go after Joel, but if a fellow brother or sister in Christ is being attacked, Christians are supposed to stick up for them. By Joel not speaking out against homosexuality, to me he condones the lifestyle.

When I say some Christians have adopted a worldly mindset, I was serious. Many Christians are so concerned with building a comfortable life for themselves that sometimes they forget about hurting people. Christians should want to live comfortable; that's evidence of God's blessing upon them. The Bible warns against the dangers of selfish ambition because some Christians get caught up in their ambition that they make it their God. There should be no surprise as to why many unsaved folks don't come to Christ, because some Christians are just as secular as they are, so you can't tell the difference.

Two Married Men and A Preacher

Two Married Men And A Preacher

Let's have a moment of silence for this woman. *30 Second moment of silence* Now that that's done, I'm gonna get right into today's message. She has no shame in her game to sleep with not one, not two, but THREE men (one of which is a preacher). I don't see how some people carry on a relationship with multiple partners at the same time, but that's none of my business. Having a relationship with various people requires a tremendous amount of skill, luck & planning because you have to find a way to balance time with each spouse. I don't know what her schedule's like, but I imagine she's a busy woman from what she says. Knowing this, why would she risk getting jammed up with 3 men? That's the part I don't get. The crazy part is that she's feeding these men the same bull: "I don't love him, I love you. You're who I want to be with." Even worse is that these men are all blind to each other. When a man is exclusive with his woman, he chose her for a reason. He sees something in her that doesn't exist in other women. It takes a lot for a good man to settle down with a good woman, but when he does find Ms. Right, he's all in (or we hope). Men are territorial by nature, we don't like other men infringing on our woman. A man will knock a dude smooth out if he feels threatened by another man pushing up on his lady. What's interesting about this story is that none of the men know about each other, which I suspect why she's managed to last this long. She needs to figure out who she wants, and stop with these silly games or she runs the risk of being exposed. Eventually, the best of us slip. Her time could be sooner rather than later.

God Forgives, I Don't

Just because God forgives you, doesn't mean others will. Some people will always hold your past against you.
— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) February 5, 2015

It should be easy to forgive, right? Depending on who you ask, you'll get various answers. Some people forgive quickly, others take time to forgive someone especially if the hurt was intentional and deep. There was a time where I would take a long time to forgive, but now I brush that off. My reason is that I refuse to give any clown that much power over me. They're keeping it moving while I'm sitting back looking crazy holding a grudge. One thing I've learned is NOT to expect an apology from anyone when they hurt me intentionally. This is for 2 reasons: 1. Their apology isn't sincere-Let's be honest, most people are only sorry for being caught, not for their mistake. 2. To shut you up-Some people will only apologize to you in order to get you out of their face. If someone keeps comes to me asking for an apology, then I'll PROBABLY apologize just to get them out of my face. I'm not that callous of a person because I respect people's feelings enough to understand that that's all they have. In other words, I'm man enough to apologize when I'm wrong because I want to sleep good at night.
A good example of this is Mark Wahlberg. Mark Wahlberg ran the streets as a youth and ended up in jail on attempted murder and assault charges. Some of his crimes involve harassing black children in Boston and blinding a Vietnamese man. He's paid for his mistakes and works with troubled youth, successful actor and restauranteur. By all accounts, he's changed his life. This black woman who was a victim of Mark's harassment spoke out against Mark Wahlberg saying "He was racist back then, so he's most likely racist now. He's not fooling anyone with his so-called redemption." Another woman spoke in favor of Mark's redemption saying "Everyone has done stupid things in their youth, stuff that they're not proud of. I believe in forgiveness." It's like this: You can do a 360 and some people will always hold your past against you. It doesn't matter what you did, not everyone believes in forgiveness. To quote one of Rick Ross' albums: God Forgives, I Don't. Just because God forgives, doesn't mean other people will; especially if you've slighted them in a major way.