Foreigners owning businesses in black neighborhoods

Arabs and Asians opening business in black neighborhoods seems to be a recurring trend all across America. Going further, An Arab, Asian or an owner of another race/ethnicity can open a business in the black community and it does well. Why is that? Because many blacks will support other businesses instead of their own. I'm all for supporting black-owned business (I'm a frequent patron of one in Tallahassee; she makes good breakfasts. $2.68 after tax for grits, eggs, bacon & toast) because I believe if black-owned businesses thrive in black neighborhoods, the entire community benefits because a black-owned business can provide jobs to unemployed people. When someone from another race opens a business in a black hood, they have a suggested retail price because some blacks in the inner-city are on a fixed income. It makes good business sense to charge what your clientele can afford. I have to be real here: The reason why many black businesses (there are some that do very well) don't succeed in black communities is that the owner gives terrible customer service, doesn't invest profits back into the business and the crime issue. It's Business 101 that if you want your business to do well, treat your customer right. It's hard for a business to succeed with bad service. Word gets around that your business doesn't do right by its customers and that makes it difficult for a black-owned business to prosper. Of the black-owned businesses that do succeed, the profits aren't invested back into the business so it ends up looking shabby just like the neighborhood. Just because your business is located in a black neighborhood doesn't mean the business has to be unkempt like the area. I've patronized several black-owned businesses in black areas and unless it's a strip-mall location, most stand-alone black businesses in black hoods aren't appealing to the eye. The business could be well-run but the appearance will say otherwise. Honestly, I think most business owners don't want to open in black areas because they feel there's not as much money to be made, which may be true because when you're on a limited income, you can't spend willy nilly. You have to make your money stretch from one month to the next. The criminality is another red-flag which deters potential businesses from setting up shop in a black area. It's risky opening a business in a black neighborhood due to you having to worry about your business being robbed/looted. Some inner-city residents are very jealous when they see a fellow inner-city resident trying to do better so the criminal wants to take what someone has. It's pathetic but when you can't stand someone doing better than you, that's what happens.

Is Marriage Dead?

Is marriage dead? I want to say no but looking at long-term unmarried couples who in many cases stay together longer than most marrieds, I'm inclined to say yes. Cohabitation seems to be the new marriage nowadays because there's an upward trend of couples staying together for long periods of time without tying the knot. Whether it's right or wrong remains to be seen. From a Biblical standpoint, shacking up is wrong but from a cultural standpoint, it makes sense. One argument for cohabitation is that you can see the true essence of a person because you're around them 24-7. You see them at their best & worst. Another argument for co-habitation is when the going gets tough, both parties are free to leave without the legal/financial ramifications. I think most people want to keep the option of leaving open, which is why they opt for cohabitation rather than marriage. In marriage, when the going gets tough, you tend to try your hardest to make it work especially since you have years invested in the relationship. Shackers can easily say "Look, I'm sick of this, I'm out". Marriage is a beautiful thing when you find Mr. or Mrs. Right but the reality is, many people marry for the wrong reasons. They didn't take the time to thoroughly screen a person. Start off as friends and see where that goes. Most people look at the outside rather than the inside. Let's be real, nobody wants to deal with someone at their worst. People love their man/woman when they're acting right. When life hits, that love is tested. That so-called Mr(s) Right could turn into Mr(s) Wrong later down the line & you're looking crazy because you got married under false pretenses. The following link supports my argument: http://www.economist.com/blogs/blighty/2011/02/divorce_and_marriage. Don't get me wrong, marriage is beautiful because there's nothing like waking up every day to that special man or woman, having someone to confide in that will have your back through thick and thin. That feeling is priceless.

Black Stereotype

It comes as no surprise that blacks are stereotyped. Whether it's right or wrong remains to be seen. Stereotypes are never ok under any circumstances because usually you're dead wrong when you find out the person is nothing like you portrayed. When you live up to the stereotype, you're giving people a reason to say "I told you they don't have any sense". Everything is not a black and white issue! For example; If 20 of you fools are dressed in all black, in the mall disturbing others from having a nice shopping experience then guess what? THE COPS HAVE A RIGHT TO ARREST YOU FOR DISTURBING THE PEACE! It doesn't matter if you grew up in the hood! That doesn't give you the right to act a fool! Personally, I don't want to hear or see it! If you're doing drops and your flaunting your cash as quickly as you get it and you're bragging about it with your youtube videos..then guess what? YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO BE ARRESTED! Please stop thinking that the world owes you something! If you don't want to be stereotyped, then stop acting like the stereotype! I feel sorry for this generation! Stop being so ratchet and put something in your BRAIN!.STOP ALL THIS SENSELESS GUN VIOLENCE! Why fight every time you're in public? What are you proving? NOTHING! WHAT YOU'RE BASICALLY SAYING IS "I TOLD YOU THEY DON'T HAVE SENSE!". I'm so happy that my parents raised me not to be RATCHET! Read a book or get an education! But most importantly: STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW SOCIETY AND LAW ENFORCEMENT IS TREATING YOU IF YOU'RE ACTING LIKE THE STEREOTYPE! That's why I don't oblige to the stereotype. That's why I only hang around people (black especially) that want or have the desire to do better. It doesn't matter where you come from, its where you're going that matters. Everything is not a white and black issue, but some things are.

Unconditional Love, Pt.2

Just because a man or woman cheats...doesn't mean they don't love their spouse, right? You would think that to be the case but sadly some people feel otherwise. There are people that feel if their man or woman cheats, they still love them. I respect people's views but this doesn't make sense because love is about honoring and respecting your mate. If a man or woman loves their mate like they say, they wouldn't jeopardize the relationship. They consider how their mate would feel if they cheated. Trust is sacred in a relationship and once it's broken, it's hard to repair. The best thing to do is not put oneself in precarious situations. If you're in a tempting situation where you know you will cheat, GET OUT IMMEDIATELY. If one's home life isn't interrupted by a one-night stand, they're not leaving. I will never understand that logic but that's how some people think. Do people think that low of themselves where they will overlook cheating because they can't stand to be alone? Is that what true love is about? If so, I don't want that kind of love. I want the kind of love that is based on committment, TRUST and honesty. Without those components, your relationship is doomed. If you are willing to risk losing the one you love on a one-night stand, that love isn't strong like you say. Real love entails realizing what you have and staying true to that person. Yes, temptation will come but why settle for a burger and fries when you can have steak and potatoes? People take care of what they value. If you feel a cheating need, you care nothing for that person.

Exercise

I love exercise; it's a way of life. I look forward to going to the gym each week because I know it's going to be great. Exercise is my solitude; my ME time. We all need some me time and what better way than a good workout? I get up at 3:30am Monday-Thursday to get ready for my 5am workout. I spend 1 hr & 15 to 1 hr & 30 minutes doing legs & chest, arms, back and shoulders and arms. I spread the aforementioned workouts over 4 days. I go hard in the gym because I believe if you aren't sweating or exhausted, you haven't worked out hard enough. Exercise keeps me looking good in my clothes, bodyfat down, energy up and I have a reason to replace calories burned. Exercise not only has health benefits but it's great for well-being and confidence. When you look good, you feel good. Professional athletes get paid to work out because they have to stay in top shape for their sports. Some people make a career out of exercise as fitness trainers/consultants, bodybuilders, etc. If I could get paid to work out full-time, I'd do it with no hesitation.

Vacation

For as long as I can remember, vacations were a part of my life. Twice a year, I'd go out of town to see family or just to get away. Vacations are one of life's hidden gems because they allow you to unwind; you don't have to worry about what's going on at home. You explore new surroundings, cultures and overall, a new way of life. If I could get paid full-time to take vacations, that would be awesome. There's nothing like spending a week or so in a different city taking in the sights & sounds, partaking of that city's cuisine & attractions, etc. When you return home, you have a deeper appreciation for your hometown because you were able to see life from a different perspective. While vacations can be enjoyable, they make one well-rounded. I was no stranger to the road because my dad used to drive trucks and I traveled on the road with him just about every summer. Great bonding time and I learned about the road. I'm able to go on the road by myself if I so choose because I'll know how to get to my destination. I love vacations and plan on taking many more throughout my life. My ultimate vacation is a week-long cruise to a tropical island of my choice. I'll either go solo or with a few close friends, or me and the family will take a cruise together. Everybody needs to take a vacation at least once a year, twice at the most.

Entrepreneurship

Many entrepreneurs started off with a dream; a dream of a better product, idea, improvement on a current product or service and turned it into reality. Entrepreneurship is one of the most rewarding experiences one can have because you took the necessary steps to bring your vision to pass. I like to see successful entrepreneurs do their thing because they give hope to aspiring entrepreneurs that if I can do it, so can you. All you need is a creative idea that no one has thought of and once you have an idea, write it down and apply for a patent. The patent is what seals the deal; it says that nobody can profit off your idea but YOU. I've always thought about what entrepreneurship would be like and I've come up with several creative ideas that no one has thought of. Many of my ideas are improvements on current services and products and others are fresh off my head. Several ideas are on the horizon and I want to wait for the right time (which usually comes fast) to submit my idea(s) to the proper company and start profiting. Self-employment brings financial freedom like no other, which is another reason why I want to be an entrepreneur. When or if I have a family, I want them to be straight for life. 

Unconditional Love

Unconditional love is a term that means to love someone regardless of their actions or beliefs. It is a concept comparable to true love, a term which is more frequently used to describe love between lovers. By contrast, unconditional love is frequently used to describe love between family members, comrades in arms and between others in highly committed relationships. It has also been used in religious context to describe God's love for mankind. In an ideal world, we would love unconditionally but because humans are flawed, we exercise conditional love. As long as people act right and do what we ask, they're alright with us but the minute people don't do our bidding, we have no use for them. Unconditional love separates the individual from her or his behaviors. The individual is loved unconditionally as a "perfect" child of the Higher Power. However, the individual may exhibit behaviors that are unacceptable in a particular situation. To begin with a simple example: one acquires a puppy. The puppy is cute, playful, and the owner's heart swells with love for this new family member. Then the puppy urinates on the floor. The owner does not stop loving the puppy, but needs to modify the behavior through training and education. Some secular authors make a distinction between unconditional love and conditional love. In conditional love: love is 'earned' on the basis of conscious or unconscious conditions being met by the lover, whereas in unconditional love, love is 'given freely' to the loved one 'no matter what'. Loving first. Conditional love requires some kind of finite exchange, whereas unconditional love is seen as infinite and measureless. Unconditional love should not be mistaken with unconditional dedication: unconditional dedication refers to an act of the will irrespective of feelings (e.g. a person may consider they have a duty to stay with a person); unconditional love is an act of the feelings irrespective of will.

What Is A Man/Woman

What is a man/woman? If I asked everybody this question, I would get different answers because everyone has their own definition of what it means to be a man/woman. One person may say a man is the epitome of protection, provision and strength/guidance. Another person may say a woman signifies grace, support, submissiveness and nurturing. There is no concrete definition on what it means to be a man or woman because as with everything else in life, there are variables. From a relationship standpoint, most people want their mates to exhibit common traits of their gender. No man wants a woman who tries to be the man and vice versa. I prefer my women feminine at all times but she knows when to handle business. Most women prefer men who exude strength, protection and provision.

Forgive & Forget

No matter who you are, we've all had to deal with forgiveness. It's inevitable that we will be hurt, are hurting and know someone who has been hurt. It's said that forgiveness is moreso for yourself than the other person, which is true. Forgiveness is to keep you free from bondage because holding grudges isn't a good look. Studies show that holding grudges causes all kinds of health ailments so from a health standpoint, forgiveness is beneficial. Forgiveness is one of, if not the hardest things to do because in a way, you have to release someone of the debt (wrongdoing) owed you. I see forgiveness as a green light for someone to keep fouling up intentionally with no remorse. At some point, people need to be chin-checked. Otherwise, forgetting someone's transgression defeats the purpose of having gone through that negative experience. There are times to forgive and forget, and there are times to forgive and confront. The wisdom lies in knowing which is necessary. Realistically, humans don't forget. I can forgive and remember what they did but forget wanting revenge. I will not be a fool and let someone repeat the past with me. Forgiving doesn't mean absolving them of the consequences of their actions, it means you won't allow them to live rent-free in your life. They're keeping it moving and you're holding a grudge. I do realize that some hurts are deep and those take time to get over.

Chasing After You

I'm not a fan of chasing after anyone to get them to be with you. If somebody doesn't want to be with you by choice, let them go. I don't understand how a person can chase after somebody, going through hoops just to get their affection. That's crazy to me, but it happens. We're grown (some of us at least) so the adult thing to do is move on. Find someone that wants to be with you for YOU. If I'm with a woman and she wants to walk out on me, that's her perogative. You won't catch me running her down and begging her to stay with me. I have too much pride for that. I think people need to be secure within themselves that they can live without a man or woman in their lives. This comes from loving yourself deeply and knowing what you want. It's usually a blessing if someone walks out on you because they show you who they really are; they could have character flaws that are one of your dealbreakers and if you stay with them, could you overlook their faults? When someone walks out of your life, it doesn't necessarily mean they're bad people, it means that their part in your story is done. Some people are meant to be in your life for a season, others are forever. Chasing after someone that's seasonal signals that you're holding onto something that's just not meant for you. That's how people miss out on their blessing because they don't know how to let go and accept the sometimes, inevitable losses of life.

Women Raising Boys

Can women raise boys into strong, responsible men? That's an interesting question that has varying answers. Some say no, others say yes. A woman can teach boys certain aspects about manhood such as respect/honor, responsibility, accountability but as far as imparting manly principles, she can't do it. How can a woman teach a boy about manhood and she's not a man? Just like a man can't teach a girl about being a woman. Too many young men raised by single mothers are exhibiting effeminate characteristics because they don't have a father in the home to show him the way. Even if a single mom is raising a boy, that child should have respectable male figures to show him the way. Strong women are rarely, if ever attracted to weak men and it makes sense because eventually she'll get tired of feeling like she's carrying the relationship so she'll want him to step up. This is why many women are frustrated because the thoroughbreds are the last of a dying breed; there's not many real men (one person's definition of a real man is different from the next) left. They are finding out quickly why men are important in the home. Women don't understand man principles, ways, things, perspectives. Therefore they can't impart manly wisdom to a boy. This isn't a knock on single moms because some mothers have raised strong, successful men but as far as manhood as a whole, women can't do the job.

Stop Being A People Pleaser

It's said that if you're born to stand out, stop trying to fit in. I live by this mantra because if everyone were the same, this world would be lame. An individual marches to the beat of their own drum; they start trends, not copy others' trends. It baffles me how people go to great lengths to fit in so they won't be seen as "different". Well, I would rather be different than a cookie-cutter version of the next person. True, we gravitate toward those we're compatible with but at the same time, people need to learn how to stay true to themselves. If someone doesn't like you for you, they aren't the right people you want in your life. I've never been and never will be a people-pleaser. It's not in my genetic makeup because inevitably people pleasers compromise their moral values just to fit in with the wrong crowd. Little do they realize that those who they're trying to fit in with don't really like them and yet people still want acceptance from the wrong crowd. I don't get that. If anything, one should seek acceptance from the right people who will enrich your life. Peer Pressure is a perfect example because during the pre-teen and adolescent years, youth want acceptance; they want to be in the in-crowd. Young people will go to extremes to fit in at the expense of individuality. If you don't do this, that and the third, we don't want/like you. That's called being phony because you're changing yourself in order to fit others' expectations of you. It's better to be hated for who you are, than loved for who you're not.