Is marriage dead? I want to say no but looking at long-term unmarried couples who in many cases stay together longer than most marrieds, I'm inclined to say yes. Cohabitation seems to be the new marriage nowadays because there's an upward trend of couples staying together for long periods of time without tying the knot. Whether it's right or wrong remains to be seen. From a Biblical standpoint, shacking up is wrong but from a cultural standpoint, it makes sense. One argument for cohabitation is that you can see the true essence of a person because you're around them 24-7. You see them at their best & worst. Another argument for co-habitation is when the going gets tough, both parties are free to leave without the legal/financial ramifications. I think most people want to keep the option of leaving open, which is why they opt for cohabitation rather than marriage. In marriage, when the going gets tough, you tend to try your hardest to make it work especially since you have years invested in the relationship. Shackers can easily say "Look, I'm sick of this, I'm out". Marriage is a beautiful thing when you find Mr. or Mrs. Right but the reality is, many people marry for the wrong reasons. They didn't take the time to thoroughly screen a person. Start off as friends and see where that goes. Most people look at the outside rather than the inside. Let's be real, nobody wants to deal with someone at their worst. People love their man/woman when they're acting right. When life hits, that love is tested. That so-called Mr(s) Right could turn into Mr(s) Wrong later down the line & you're looking crazy because you got married under false pretenses. The following link supports my argument: http://www.economist.com/blogs/blighty/2011/02/divorce_and_marriage. Don't get me wrong, marriage is beautiful because there's nothing like waking up every day to that special man or woman, having someone to confide in that will have your back through thick and thin. That feeling is priceless.
Marriage is an institution,not something that is physically alive. People are the problem with marriages. Yes, they marry for the wrong reasons or when things go wrong, they allow it to continue to go wrong to the point where its un salvageable. I wonder more if real love exists. Real love would contribute to more marriages lasting. Love encompasses everything- sickness/health, rich/poor, ugly/pretty, etc. When you truly love someone, you are selfless. Its not about you, its about them. In cases of real love, there is no cheating because you love that person so much that you wouldn't hurt their trust, stability, or emotions.
ReplyDeleteShacking does come with its troubles. He wants money back after he has broken up with you, she wants half of the rent after you left, you have a car together so who gets the car, who gets the furniture, who continues to live in the apartment. Sharing finances without being married isn't smart because that's where the problem comes in most of the time. I doubt that I would ever do it again.
You make an interesting point Sharen. When the relationship goes sour, the "I did this, bought that, I want this and that back" comments fly. When you give so much of yourself to someone that it comes across as thievery, they are a thief.
Delete