Question From A Friend: What Would You Do?

I was on a Facebook friend's page, and she posted the following letter. Warning: It's long, so don't bother reading if you have a short attention span.

Question from a Friend - What would YOU do?

Dear Nikki,

My husband has lost his mind. When we met I was a management consultant at a reputable firm. When we got married I stopped taking travel assignments and I resigned to stay home with our kids. It's been 7 years & last year I started taking a few small work from home gigs with the firm. My colleague is now a partner and the firm just won a HUGE bid that I was instrumental in preparing & my colleague wants to bring me back in as a Lead Account Manager. It would require I spend the 1st 3-4 months in Denmark & Singapore though. But it's a setup for me to be promoted to a Sr. Partner.

The salary is more than triple what my husband makes. We have 3 kids and we are provided for, but this would be another level.

I have an MBA in Finance & Administration - I am one of the BEST and my husband doesn't want me to work. I literally KILLED my career and I believe that GOD is resurrected it. My husband who is now a minister believes this is out of order.

Our pastor & spiritual father says that I need to wait another year. I told him we been trusting God for increase and it's knocking on the door. They said I am in rebellion & under attack and I say they have no idea what they are talking about. Now he is telling me I don't believe the prophet and I feel like the whole conversation is stupid. We have no college funds, we are not debt free, & my signing bonus ALONE would solve several issues - let alone the bonus.

My husband says I should like being a stay at home mom. I am BORED and unstimulated and I feel like I am wasting the investment in my education not to mention disrespecting the financial blessing this is to us and our kids and even family members.

All of this headship and submission and wait until he approves but in the meanwhile we have no college funds. I am seriously thinking of taking the job - I have 10 days and I can't see myself turning it down. I get physically sick to the stomach at the thought of saying no to this. My friend says I would be uncovered, but I don't feel covered I feel controlled.

Everyone around me knows the Word but they have no clue about business on this level. The firm is passing up people who have been on position to get me off the bench. This could change our lives for the better & they talking about the Devil. I think no vacation and no college fund is of the Devil. I need some insights. I have 10 days to accept & I wouldn't leave until July.

My Response: Anyway you look at this, she's in a bind. If she takes the job, she's going against her husband's wishes. If she rejects the offer, she resents her husband later on down the line. When God presents opportunity, you BETTER take it because there's no guarantee the same opportunity will come around. She accepts this job, and it's a huge step to Partner. If I'm the wife, I'd discuss the pros and cons with my husband, and if the pros outweigh the cons, I'd take the position even if he may not agree. She has a good education, so she better use it. Her taking this job could benefit the entire family: Kids will have a college fund, debt freedom, etc. Let me explain something: The husband's job is to support his wife, even if it means she may make more money than him. If a wife is presented with a golden opportunity that could benefit the entire family, the husband should stand with his wife, just like he would want her to stand with him. To be honest, it comes down to insecurity because let's be real: How many men would be ok with their wives making more? *Crickets* I'll Wait. Some women are blessed to have supportive husbands, but I can't co-sign the minister on this. He says she's out of order, I say he's shook because his income isn't where he wants it to be, and he's looking at it like "If she takes the job, she's gonna make triple my salary, so I need to shut this down quickly". This is a time where the husband needs to get behind his wife and encourage her to take the job. She's supported his ministry, so why can't he support her offer? Should she reject, she's going to kick herself for letting her husband talk her out of a golden opportunity to put the family in a good place. I know how women think, and she's going to resent her husband for not being supportive of her accepting this job. I'm leaning towards this being a control issue because he knows that should their marriage fall apart, she'll be straight on her own, so that's why he doesn't want her to take the job: He's scared that if she ever decides to leave, she won't be dependent on him for her survival.
I think she should take the job, and the husband is going to have to get over it. Besides, wouldn't he want her support if the same offer was extended to him? You better believe it. Also, some women aren't cut out to be housewives, and that's ok. She did say she feels as though her education is going to waste, and I have to agree with her. What good is an education if you aren't going to use it?

Bruce...I mean, Caitlyn Jenner

I thought Jaden Smith looked stupid rocking a dress, now Bruce has changed his name to Caitlyn Jenner. I get that he came out because he wanted to be at peace with himself, but the name change knowing the media will be all over it, is a bit much. He could've kept that to himself because now, he's opening himself to more ridicule. It's bad enough his family is struggling to cope with his sex   change, but to pose in women's lingerie is doing too much. If you're going to get a sex change, keep it to yourself because there are people that will not accept the decision. I just think Bruce is doing this for attention, honestly. When he did his interview about his operation, hundreds of millions tuned in to show support. I didn't watch it; no need to because it was all over social media. One thing about social media is that you will always know what's going on, sometimes more than you want to know. Fast forward to today; Bruce posed in women's lingerie and it's trending all over social media. Hopefully this will die down fast, but it probably won't. If Bruce likes it, I love it (sarcasm). I think Bruce needs to fall back. He needs to live low-key. I feel for the Kardashian clan because all these years, Bruce was living a lie. Kris emasculated Bruce a lot; he had no say-so in what's going on, so ai guess that's what drove him to get the operation. I couldn't imagine being married to a woman under false pretenses. I'm supposedly married to a woman, but she feels comfortable as a man. All this time, our marriage was a sham.

Keep Calm, Tallahassee

Tallahassee's violence will NEVER be on the level of Miami, Jacksonville or other parts of Florida, so keep calm Tallahassee residents.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) June 1, 2015

Tallahassee residents are aware of the recent violence spike. 4 murders so far this month, and it's just getting started. It's going to be a hot summer with Tallahassee becoming a shooting gallery. All cities go through periods of crime increases followed by a decline, and Tallahassee is no exception. Some people in Tallahassee are shook by the amount of violence, which I can understand because we're not used to this much violence in Tallahassee. I'm from Miami, and Miami's violence is FAR worse than Tallahassee's. Miami was America's murder capital throughout the 80's because of drug wars in full swing; then gang violence ravaged Miami's inner-city in the 90's, then after the big-time gangs and street legends were put away, Miami's crime has fallen dramatically. 

Tallahassee should be grateful that our law enforcement officials will not let Tallahassee get out of control. Tallahassee Police, Leon County Sheriff's, FDLE, and other law enforcement agencies all work together to keep the crime under control here, so I know they wouldn't tolerate that. That, and Tallahassee citizens will call the Sheriff or police if you look like you're up to no good. I'm praying for Tallahassee because it's a great place to raise a family with good schools, but the violence is starting to tarnish that family-friendly image. It's understood that cities with strong local economies have less crime issues because the opportunity is there for EVERYONE to better themselves. There's not much economic opportunity in Tallahassee, so people resort to criminal activity. I DO NOT condone crime for any reason, but I understand why some people turn to crime as a way to feed themselves and their families. 

I understand the concern some Tallahassee residents have about the increasing violence, but we have it good compared to Central & South Florida. Violence in Central and South Florida is on a whole different level.

Bickering vs. Disagreement

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a FB friend about relationships, and it was getting serious. As the convo was going back & forth, I explain to this woman that by nature, men don't like conflict, but we will shut it down if necessary. I tell her how any woman who gets with me, better not bring any confusion into my life or she's done for. I value peace of mind over conflict, and most sensible men do too. This broad has the nerve to say: "You know that's not realistic, right?" and a bunch of foolishness that was getting on my nerves to be honest. To be honest, the women who say "You can't have growth without challenges" are the same ones guilty of most conflict in relationships. It's ridiculous that some women think that conflict is "healthy", so I told her this: What you said confirms my decision to remain single, because I will NOT sacrifice my peace of mind for growth in challenges. It seems like some women are used to fighting with their man, so they expect men to subscribe to the foolish idea that "fighting is healthy." Conflict is not healthy in relationships because both sides are too focused on being right; no one wants to budge.

Some folks have the nerve to ask me why am I still single. It's the stupid logic that some women possess that turns me off from relationships as a whole. I'm going to post a few responses to my thread:

Jeff Green That "love hurts" "relationships take work " BS is played.

If i have to battle with you,,im out!

I would rather date palmella or pay a pro for services than to be bothered with a nagging combative chic.

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Jeff Green Good sh** Richard!!!!!

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NasSun Greene Y'Akoakam Idc what anybody says, when arguments 'miscommunication and challenges' become the steady diet of a relationship, it's better to be alone. Ain't nobody got time for that.

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Leslie C. Bolton-Browne Also, when conflict occurs you can't just call it quits Richard Hudson. This is when being mature enough for a relationship and choosing a mature partner to be in a relationship with comes into play. You work through arguments that will most definitely happen at some point.

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Leslie C. Bolton-Browne NasSun Greene Y'Akoakam that's just it, it shouldn't be a steady diet. You BOTH have to accept that there may be a few disagreements in life and learn how to get through them. Its inevitable! No two people are the same or have the same mind.

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Mary Stieff Antonio, I understand. The miscommunication was on his part for not speaking up about an issue but letting it fester then blowing up. I always ask for proper communication, I don't read minds. No slamming doors were needed, he went to work, I visited with family and we hashed it out after that. 

I agree on talking things out, open and honestly, but there are some men who make that very hard (liars, cheaters) and get mad at their woman for calling them on that.

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NasSun Greene Y'Akoakam Isn't separating oneself from a confrontational and argument prone individual part of the "mature" process of looking for a "mature" partner? Lol

Jerome Bolden No Mary Stieff men are at the place now where we have an even lower threshold for unnecessary conflict

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Mary Stieff I don't argue about silly shit. We argued two weeks ago about a misunderstanding due to miscommunication. We gave each other some space, he apologized and I apologized, we talked some things out. That was that. Got a better understanding of some things on both parts.

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Antonio Negrodomus Chambers Okay, now with that being said, miscommunication is silly in others eyes. I want to discuss matters without the slamming of doors, sleeping in separate rooms, etc.. So, Mary, we are only saying as men, is can we just talk it.out instead of the bickering.

NasSun Greene Y'Akoakam All that maturity and working things out speech is cute . But , we can all tell early enough in a relationship, when solving issues and live peacefully isn't gonna be possible. Maturity will ask that you flee the situation ASAP . I believe this is what Richard's post is about. I'm not about to wait to see how dysfunctional a relationship might make me before I decide to leave alone all tigether...hell no.

Mary Stieff To me, people give up too easily in relationships nowadays. There will be a lot of lonely old folks in the next 30 years.

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Jeff Green Relationships take love,,not work.

If i have to work at being with you then our togetherness has become a JOB.

I WORK everyday,,i dont want to come home and have to work at being with you.

My home is my peaceful rest spot,;not my second job.

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Leslie C. Bolton-Browne I've been married 18 years in July and we're happy and still going strong. We've had difficult discussions from what art schools to put our daughter in, what kind of vehicle to get, how much life insurance to get, what Doctor should care for our ill son to simpler things like where to vacation and what restaurant to eat at this weekend.....we get through it all and move on.

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NasSun Greene Y'Akoakam Rather be alone than fighting and arguing all the time. Don't mind being alone anyways. I'm actually comfortable with it.

What I got from posting this thread is that everyone has varying tolerance levels. Some can overlook a lot, others have a very low threshold. For me, my patience is very thin on arguments, so any woman I get involved with is going to have to understand that. If she can, great. If not, exit left.

Current Political Climate: By Rick Nappier

This was too good NOT to share. A good FB friend Rick Nappier gave a spot-on analysis of the political climate.

Rick Nappier

Here's my opinion about politics in the current state of the State.

God will handle His business how He sees fit. Everyone needs to stick what they believe and call it a day. In the end, if you're right, Congrats! If you're wrong, then you will be the only person who will know about it.

Preachers should do what they are called to do based on their beliefs and politicians should be running the country business like a business.

Through the flock and preachers, people will make decisions based on what the "Word" speaks to them. So preach the Word.

I just feel that politicians have taken their eyes off what matters where people need the greatest support. The Bible says "do not give a babe meat when they can only digest milk". (1 Corin 3:2) Today's politicians, doing double duty as preachers, are trying to force Christians' years of faith (MEAT) when unlearned people can only stand small nuggets (MILK). No wonder a segment of the population does not get it.

Start with love...which is universally accepted in most cultures. Then, give a man/woman a job. 2 Thess 3:10 says: "For even when we were with you, we used to give you this order: if anyone is not willing to work, then he is not to eat, either."

So modern day politicians are doing two things wrong:

1) people are being fed MEAT when they can only stand MILK.

2) since the people cannot digest MEAT, they do not see it in their best interest to vote for jobs.

These are my own words as I see it.

Strawberry Letter | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS: Help Me, Help Me Please

Help Me, Help Me Please

I'm with the husband on this one because marriage is a partnership where BOTH people pull their weight. How can people expect a successful marriage if the man is doing all the work. Yes, he's the head and the head is responsible for providing & protecting, but as his helpmate, she's supposed to bring that balance. If his business is struggling, he's right to ask his wife to contribute. I think the wife misunderstands the true meaning of marriage. Marriage is a partnership where BOTH have to make it work by any means necessary. This means the man plays his position, and the wife hers. Is it any wonder why many women want to be married? So their husbands can take care of them like daddy took care of the family. In most households, the man makes the money while the wife stays home and does nothing (You have very few wives that can be trusted enough to stay home and take care of the house). The problem is because the wife's mother didn't work, she feels she doesn't need to do the same. Strawberry Letters like these are the reason why I have a sour outlook on marriage, because who's to say if God sends a mate into my life, she'll play her role as my HELPMATE? I don't know, and I'm not trying to find out, so I swerve! Anyway, I'm praying for this brother hoping his wife comes to her senses and starts helping because at this rate, I don't see them staying together for long. He's at the point of no return because as he states, her selfishness has caused intolerable tension. This is why men need to be VERY careful about wanting to be the head, because they will meet some women who expect him to fulfill that role. By fulfilling that role, she doesn't work, but he has to make enough for her to stay home and do nothing. That may have worked in the 40's and 50's, but this is 2015, where it takes two incomes to run a household. Then again, he could be one of those men who believes in tradition, which states the man should be the sole provider so his wife can stay home. If that's the case, some of the blame goes to him for allowing his wife to run reckless with her selfishness.

More Teenage Foolishness

Just when I thought these stupid challenges died down, here comes another challenge: Teens trying to summon the occult. First off, the occult is demonic, and it's nothing to play with. Second, these students have too much time on their hands to try and drum up bad spirits. These are school-age children so you would think they're busy enough with school, but that can't be true if they have time to drum up evil spirits. You can't tell them nothing, in their mind "I'm Doing Me." Ok then, go ahead and "Do You." It's that mindset which is why society is in the shape it's in. I'm going to be real: Some kids know about the occult, others don't. The kids who don't know should not be trying to contact the occult because they're gonna get in touch with something they can't get rid of. I remember a story years ago that dealt with this very matter: Kids were playing with Quija boards, and late at night those spirits tried to take over their body. Their baby sister gets out of her crib on her own and goes outside on the porch to stare into the sky for hours. Parents wonder how she was able to do that on her own, but that's not my business. These kids think this occult is a game, but it's not. This is why I say if kids saturate themselves in extracurricular activities, they won't have time for this foolishness. They'll be too busy bettering themselves than getting in touch with the occult. The more I read stories like this, the more I feel sorry for my nieces because they are coming up in a crazy world. When you take God out of the equation, the door is opened to nonsense like this.