Strawberry Letter: I Can't Help Myself

I Can't Help Myself

This is easy. Her vibe is so good, guys are drawn to that. She puts young men at ease and because they feel good around her, they tell her those magic words and she lays down with him. It sounds like she ties her self-worth to how many men she can get to sleep with her. If men are sleeping with her, she feels attractive, but the problem is that none of these men are giving her a second glance outside of sex. Yes, she's attractive and has a lot going for herself, but those men don't see that, all they see is someone to sleep with. These men say the right words, and she opens up heaven's gate. I think she needs to realize her worth and let men be attracted to her mind & ambition, because she seems to have a good head on her shoulders. She tends to trust men too soon before getting to know them. She needs to realize how a man thinks: When a man is getting to know a woman, he will say anything to get some. Not all men, but a lot of them think with their other head instead of the one attached to their shoulders. A man will put a woman at ease long enough to get what he wants, and he's gone. She's left looking crazy because in her mind, he said all the right things. That's the problem, some men talk a good game, but very few back it up. Maybe she should consider celibacy. It's gonna be hard for her because she will have those urges but in the long run, she'll have a clear understanding of who she is and what she's looking for, so I think celibacy will be a good look for her. Celibacy will allow her to focus on herself & school, and who knows? She may meet the right man who's on the same path as her.

3 Things That Will Destroy A Man

Money, women and vice are three things that will destroy a man. It's important for men to be disciplined in whatever they do.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) May 22, 2015 

What do Bill Clinton, King Jehoshophat, King David, Jimmy Swaggart, Eddie Long and others have in common? They were all destroyed by Money, Women, and Vice. Some of those men have made a comeback, and others have fallen off for good. Former president Clinton seemed to have recovered from his infamous scandal because we haven't heard much about him in the news. Bishop Eddie Long is trying to recover from his infamous sex scandal, and so far his church has forgiven him and all seems to be well. When you're in a position of power, every kind of temptation is thrown your way. Some people want to see you fall, so they'll do everything possible to trip you up, so that's why I say it's important for men to exercise discipline. Matter of fact, a man has MORE reason to keep his circle small because he doesn't know who's coming for his #1 spot. It's a known fact that women are attracted to powerful men, so a lot of women use their sex appeal to bring a man down, and sadly a lot of men fall for it. I've read about several powerful men that had everything going for them, and they got hooked up with some skeezer who brought them to their knees. All I could do is shake my head at how stupid some men can be to let a woman screw up their whole image.

You can tell a man that's not used to money, because the first thing he does when he gets a large sum of money is go to the strip club. You guys know what I'm talking about: Spend $8,000 on booty, like they've never seen beautiful women before. Or he'll take his crew of friends to the mall for a shopping spree, just to be noticed. Women are like: Look at him, I know he's got some money, ummmhmmm...balling with his partners. From time to time, I'll look at the richest men in the world and how they got their wealth. Some of them inherited their money, and others capitalized on their gifts and got rich that way. Football superstar Terrell Owens comes to mind. This was one of the most talented receivers in NFL history, made millions doing what he loved until he let too many people get in his ear: Leeching family & friends, women, crooked financial professionals. All of them destroyed Terrell's financial picture because now he's struggling to get back into football. Last I heard about him, he's doing tryouts for arena football, and they make $300 per game, which isn't much for a former multi-million athlete. If T.O. had the right people in his corner, he would still be doing very well for himself right now

I'm not scared to say it: Some men are moved by money, women, and other vices. Money and Women are the two major things some men will let destroy them. It's sad to see successful men ruined because of money & women, but maybe if some men weren't so thirsty, they would still be on top. The most successful men have nothing to prove; they know who they are. If no women are checking for them, big deal. I'm sure a lot of them are glad because as stated before, some women are attracted to powerful men and the wrong woman can bring down a man's empire. Powerful men need to be more disciplined than the average man for one reason: They have more to lose.

Come Up Off That

Some of these dudes are too sorry to get it on their own, so they take what others have worked hard to achieve. #Losers.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) May 21, 2015

I shared a very disturbing video on my Facebook page. It showed a man coming home from work late and as he pulled into his garage to park, he was about to go inside. 3 jackers proceed to run up on him and try to rob him, but he sent them running with some hot lead. The moral of that story is be careful who you try to rob, because not everyone is going to let you take what they've worked hard for. Some of these dudes are too sorry to achieve on their own, so they would rather rob someone else for theirs. When they do that, they're confirming what most of society already thinks: When in doubt, take what belongs to someone else. I feel bad for the victims because some of them have sacrificed to get what they need, and for someone to jack them is ridiculous. Nothing good comes out of jacking someone, and the reason is: You have to worry about retribution from their loved ones. When someone is a crime victim & the family hears about it, the first thing the family does is rally together to get at the criminals. If the criminal(s) are smart, they'll lay low knowing the victim's family is coming for them. These dudes allow hood music to influence their minds to rob someone, not realizing that they forget about the Second Amendment: The Right To Bare Arms (layman's terms: License To Carry). Some people will protect theirs by any means necessary. I would feel sorry for the jacker who got shot, but I can't. They got what was coming to them, and I bet they won't pull that mess anymore. Here's the video of the attempted carjacking: 

When Jacking Goes Wrong 

Cheating In The Next Room

Strawberry Letter | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS

The title of this Strawberry Letter is perfect because this lady is cheating on her husband with another man, then has the nerve to say she doesn't want to mess up her family. Never mind that he cheated first, but she's no better for trying to pay him back. I've said the same thing in previous letters of this nature: If couples are sneaking around on each other, they have no business being together. You can tell she hasn't forgiven him because the moment she had an opportunity to exact revenge, she took it. She already destroyed two families: Hers & the other man's (if he's married). This is what people don't realize about cheating: Not only does cheating hurt the victim, but it hurts the offender and the other party. Once the other woman finds out, this person is going to be in a world of trouble. She's not in love with the other guy, she's in love with the sex. For her, it's a rush to see how long she can keep up the creeping around before she has to make a decision. Just like women hate being led on, so do men. She's going to have to choose which guy she wants: The man she's been with for 6 years or this new guy she's falling for. Just like she's playing two men, the other guy could be playing her just the same. The other guy probably isn't feeling her like she's feeling him; she's just a piece of meat to him. As for the husband, I don't condone what he did, but he should've learned the #1 rule about women: A woman will forgive her man for cheating, but she won't forget. If a woman gets an opportunity to exact revenge for her husband's infidelity by sleeping with another man, there's a good chance she will take it.

The Blessing In Being Unwanted

"That's why no one wants you." That's supposed to be a bad thing because? Sometimes, it's a blessing to be unwanted by certain people.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) May 19, 2015

Everyone has heard this notorious shaming tactic from time to time. Some people really think they're supposed to hurt one's feelings when they say this garbage, which some folks may be slighted by this statement. The majority of people would shrug it off because for one, some people are single by choice. They don't need someone to define them. If someone comes into their life, good. If not, that's cool too. They were fine before that person, and they'll be fine after them. I'll go one better: They'll be fine if no one wants to be in their life! The main folks who utter this statement are those that no one would want anyway. I find it hilarious that people think everyone's hard up for a significant other. I've mentioned this in a few previous blogs: A significant other enhances what's already there. They aren't responsible for completing you, you're supposed to already be whole. At the same time, some folks would take the "That's why no one wants you" statement to heart. Some folks self-esteem is low that they think something's wrong with them if someone told them that. If anything, there's a lot more wrong with the offender than the victim, so for those who are slighted by that statement, know your worth and don't let anyone make you feel bad for being single. It's better to be single than alone in a relationship. In other words, you can be with someone and still be alone. What do I mean by that? You and this person live together, but you two barely communicate. Y'all know nothing about each other, but everything's lovely according to y'all (side eye). Sometimes, being unwanted is a blessing because you avoid drama. When the wrong people want you, it's only a matter of time before something goes wrong. 

Growing Apart From Those Who Don't Grow

You will grow apart from those who don't grow.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) May 16, 2015

You will grow apart from those who don't grow. Why is that? Because if you & your associate, friend, acquaintance, significant other, etc are going in opposite directions, there's no chance for a successful relationship. In order to have unity, both parties must be on one accord. That's not to say they will co-sign each other on everything, but their similarities should far outweigh their differences. Trying to grow together with someone you have little in common with is like swimming against the current: You're strong enough to do it, but why would you? You're wasting your energy, and eventually you'll become weary. The older someone gets, the more meaningful their relationships should be. Nobody should waste time trying to grow with those who are growing apart; I know I don't. I used to force some relationships to work because I didn't want to be alone, but as I got older I've learned to embrace my solitude. I don't have many friends, but the ones I do have are true riders. We can go days, weeks or months without talking, and come together like it's nothing. At my current stage, I have no problem growing apart from those who don't grow.
I don't know why some people are scared to grow apart. It's like they're scared to be alone so they force some relationships to work that are temporary. Listen, not everyone is meant to be in your life forever. Some people come into your life for a season & a lifetime. It's important to know the difference, so let me break it down: Seasonal folks are those you hit it off with immediately. You feel like you've known them your whole life, and it's so far so good. You think these people are with you for the long haul until you two discover you're more different than alike. Your outlooks aren't the same, nor is your life trajectory. Through no fault of each other, the relationship comes to an end. Lifetime folks are those people who you hit it off with immediately, but with one difference: These are people who have your back from start to finish. They don't want anything from you, just your friendship & loyalty. You know these people are for you because you can't go a day without chatting with them. You rejoice & grieve with them. You two have the same trajectory & outlook on life. If you're smart, you'll grow together with those who are growing.

Foolish Woman Vs. Wise Woman

Foolish women look at a man's ride, smart women look at a man's drive.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) May 17, 2015

Foolish women look at a man's ride; smart women look at a man's drive. If I asked a woman what's the first thing she looks for in a man, she would tell me that he has to have a nice car. In her mind, she can tell a lot about a man by the kind of car he drives. He could be well to do, but he's not into luxury items. Because some women can't see past the outer, they assume he's broke; he has no hustle & won't give him the time of day. The guy with the Rolls Royce would get looks from all the women because to them, the Rolls Royce signals success. Some women like to see tangible evidence of men with their stuff together. Going back to the other guy, he has the same good job as the man with the Rolls Royce, but he believes in living below his means. He feels that he will attract the wrong women if he decides to upgrade, so he dumbs down his prosperity. When you're getting to know someone, you have to give them doses of you because not everyone can handle everything that comes with you. At the same time, if you're blessed, there's nothing wrong with voicing it, as long as it's to inspire someone. Use discernment in who you allow to be in your life, and you should be fine. The wise woman sees a man hustling for a better way and wants to be with him. She believes in him so much that she wants to be instrumental in his success. That's the woman that will sit on the mountain with him because she saw his grind, and elevated it.