Master Key

From Khrystle Nichole: People will only treat you the way you allow them to. Don't allow anyone to put their 'ish onto you and blame you for their problems, in person, on the phone, in an email or text. You don't need people like this in your life. Don't hesitate to show them the exit. You are the gatekeeper of your life and you have the master key. Sometimes you have to lock some people out.

She's not lying. There's a saying that you show people how to treat you. If you carry yourself with respect, people will usually give you respect. I realize there are exceptions, because some people are no good to the core. Those are people you don't need in your life because their toxicity will rub off on you. Since I chose to make people earn my respect, life has been good. Gone are the days where I hand respect on a silver platter. The only people that automatically get my respect are my parents; everyone has to earn it. That's all part of protecting your well-being. Some people come into your life as a test. They play on your good nature, and once you let your defenses down, that's when the mistreatment comes. Sometimes, wolves won't show their true colors outright, so you have to be extra careful. I hate to see good people become jaded from letting the wrong people in. If someone wants the master key to your life, make them earn it. Even if they've gotten the master key, always keep a spare so you can lock them out if necessary.

Preachers Of L.A.: Consulting Your Wife

Should a man consult his wife before a decision? Read the following discussion that I sparked on my wall:

 

Why is Wayne shook by Myesha? Come on bruh, you're the head. If you want to move your mom in, that's your decision. ‪#‎PreachersOfLA‬

 @RichardMIATL on Twitter

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  Twanna Gill No... That's something you all discuss and come to an agreement on. Adding someone to your household can change the dynamics of your relationship and not always on a good way.

  6 hrs · Like
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  Richard Hudson In the end, Myesha had no choice but to support her husband's decision to move in his mother. Wayne was like "How am I going to break this to Myesha?"

  5 hrs · Like
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  Twanna Gill No... that's not how marriage works. That is her home. Their home. And you can't just move folks in, make household decisions without discussing things with your mate. That sets the scene for drama and tension when it didn't have to be that way.

  5 hrs · Like
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  Richard Hudson As the head of household, a man must make tough decisions even if the wife doesn't agree.

  5 hrs · Like
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  Twanna Gill That means nothing. How would he feel is he came home and her mom was there? He'd feel at minimum disrespected in his home.
  
  "... forsaking all others..." isn't just about giving up other (wo)men... "giving up single ways" isn't just about monogamy. It's a mindset. No one comes before your spouse and their well being.

  4 hrs · Like
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  Richard Hudson That's the issue with marriage relationships as a whole, too many men are scared to take their role as the head. Gotta consult the wife about everything. At some point, a man has to grow a pair and make decisions independent of his wife.

  4 hrs · Like
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  Twanna Gill Being the head doesn't mean you do what the eff you wanna do - that means you wanna be single.

  4 hrs · Like
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  Richard Hudson Today's women don't understand the concept of standing by their man. A husband isn't obligated to let his wife in on every doggone thing. As long as he's not endangering his family, that's what counts.

  4 hrs · Like
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  Twanna Gill No he isn't. But moving someone into THEIR home is absolutely something that should be at minimum discussed BEFORE it happens.
  
  And... if we taking this into a "traditional" role type sense since you keep mentioning him being the "head". That makes ...See More

  4 hrs · Unlike · 2
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  Keisha L Fuqua I agree with Twanna....

  4 hrs · Like · 1
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  Richard Hudson The best way to squash all that nonsense is remain impartial, no matter how difficult it gets. If his wife is right, he sides with her. If the mom is right, side with the mother. No matter what he does, someone will always feel slighted. You can't please everybody.

  3 hrs · Like
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  Keisha L Fuqua Which is y mom shouldn't live there.....you can't please everybody

  3 hrs · Like · 1
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  Twanna Gill Exactly Keisha!

  3 hrs · Like
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  Twanna Gill As the "head" you don't created crazy situations and after you've created a mess you decided THEN to sit back and be "impartial".

  3 hrs · Like
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  Richard Hudson If this were on the other foot, Wayne would be expected to accommodate Myesha's mother with no hesitation.

  3 hrs · Like
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  Twanna Gill No. He shouldn't be expected to just accept that either. It's a discussion. Pros, cons, developing a plan together

When You're In The Spotlight...

If you've been following the news, you know Ray Rice has been in hot water for domestic violence against his wife. Video surfaced of Ray Rice having an altercation with his woman, and apparently he instigated the fight, she retaliates by spitting on him, then he knocked fire from her. Make it so bad, she's standing by him through this ordeal. She's been accustomed to a good life, so she's not trying to lose it. The shopping trips, vacations, etc. Many women benefit from living lavish off their professional athlete/actor mates, so I guess they feel like it's too difficult to start over by leaving their abusive men. Is staying with an abusive spouse worth the luxury one becomes accustomed to? For a person who values peace of mind, no. For someone who doesn't have much self-worth, yes. It boils down to what a domestic violence victim is willing to put up with. Adrian Peterson got in hot water for alleged child abuse, so the NFL is trying to make an example of him and Ray.

Adrian Peterson and Ray Rice were suspended indefinitely by their respective teams, and I'm sure they lost millions in income and endorsements. That goes to show you that companies place high value on moral character. When you're in the spotlight, you must watch your conduct. All eyes are on you, whether you like it or not. The slightest infraction, it's off with your head. Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson are two of the best players in the NFL, and I hope they learn from their situations. Adrian Peterson got in trouble for disciplining his child due to marks left on his son's body; the kid is 4. Here's my thing: If anyone was raised in a black household, spankings were the norm. Many people were whooped with switches, belts, anything that wasn't nailed down. Black parents aren't about that "you're grounded" life. Many black parents will tell you once, and if you don't listen, here comes the belt. Some black parents will ground their children, but not many.

Everywhere you turn, someone famous has legal issues. At what point do celebrities realize that they're role models, whether they want to be or not? Knowing that, it behooves them to conduct themselves of the highest standard, because as with Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson, there's too much to lose. In the end, it's not worth sacrificing a good life just because your spouse wants to act stupid. I feel like this: If I'm a celebrity, I'm living low key. I don't like a lot of people in my business anyway, so it would be easy for me to stay out of trouble. Too bad many athletes and celebs don't think like I do.

Where's My Queen?

You didn't think I was going to let the fellas slide did you? What's good for one, is good for all. What makes some men think they're deserving of a solid woman? A woman that has her stuff together, grounded in God, and of good moral character would be wise to seek out a likeminded man. An unbeliever and believer cannot be unequally yoked, which extends to character. If a man is ratchet (yes, some men can be ratchet too), why would he think he's deserving of a good woman? He's going to corrupt her because it's said that bad company corrupts good character. Far too many solid women get with some no-good man, he mistreats her and she joins the Bitter Woman Brigade. A good man comes into her life, and he has to pay for what the previous man did. That could've been avoided if the man didn't try to front. Y'all know what I'm talking about: Ever hear of the term Wolves In Sheep's Clothing? That term means a foul person poses as someone of good character to get next to a solid individual. Once that person lets their guard down, the wolf slowly begins to show its nature. The person never knew because (s)he didn't have the proper discernment. Something will always tell you if someone's got ill intentions. You get an uneasy feeling around them, and you scrutinize their every move. What do they see in me? Out of all the potentials, why did they choose me? Those are the questions one must ask.

In conclusion, a woman of good sense would not entertain a court jester. Why would she? To her, a jester would bring down her value. The next time a man asks himself why hasn't he found his queen, maybe he should ask himself if he carries himself like a king.

Boaz Has Passed You By

When I hear a woman say she's waiting on her Boaz, I giggle so hard inside because many women are clueless about the Biblical story of Boaz. Many women assume their Boaz is going to appear out of thin air, but that's not the case. These women don't realize that Ruth positioned herself to be found. She didn't sit on her behind waiting for Boaz to appear, Ruth did the work to put herself in a place where Boaz could find her. Once Ruth found her Boaz, the rest was history. Today's Christian woman has it twisted because they've bought into the same feminist mindset that a man is supposed to wait on them hand & foot, while she reaps the benefit. These are the same women that call themselves Proverbs 31 women. Last time I checked, being a Proverbs 31 woman requires work, and some women today do not want to do the work required to attract their Boaz. They think their looks will get them by, and they will on a shallow man. The Bible says that man looks at the outward, but God looks at the heart. A man of character is going to examine a woman's heart before choosing her as a mate. He realizes that looks can be deceiving. Some of the most attractive women have horrible character (the same goes for men). I have no problems with a woman wanting her Boaz if she's of right character. Those women have every right to desire a Boaz because she's worked on herself enough to where a good man will seek her out. I'm talking about the ratchet women. Those are the types that are quick to say "I'm looking for my Boaz" Well, what are YOU doing to position yourself to be sought? I'll wait.