Does Marriage Equal Career Success?

If you get the same answer from one or more people with stats to back it up, it has to be true. Some of the most prominent people (CEO's, executives, etc.) have one thing in common: They're married. Common sense would tell you that the higher you go in your career, the more responsibility you'll have. Look at President Obama: US President, husband & father. Taking care of a family is one thing, but being the US President is another. The President has to do what's best for the entire country, even if some people won't agree with his decisions. Michelle seems to do a very good of holding it down with him, even though she's got her own initiatives going on. If there's ever a time where a helper is most needed, it's when you're tasked with running a country and your family. Will there ever be a single US President? Probably not, but it could happen. In the eyes of public opinion, if you're not married then you're not stable, and to me that's ridiculous.

I'd like to see a single US President one day, because (s)he could show the public that a single person can be just as, if not more responsible than a married person. Think about it: A single US President could devote more time to their job because their responsibility would be to the country. At times, a single US President would feel overwhelmed because of how much is on his or her plate; (s)he would have to shoulder the burdens alone. The more responsibility you have, the greater need for help so I understand where a supportive spouse would come in. Prominent people have a lot of responsibility so I understand why they're married; their spouses can carry some of the load. I think it's crazy to assume that singles aren't capable of high-level positions because of marital status. If anything, I think a single person is better suited for a high-level position because they can devote more time to their career. They don't have the responsibility of juggling work & family.

 



Big-City Women Vs. Small-town/Mid-sized city women

Big-city women are different from small-town & mid-sized city women. The majority of big-city women are opinionated, have the hustler mentality and tend to be materialistic. Small-town women are down-to-earth and know how to cater to their man. From a relationship aspect, small-town women run circles around big-city women because a big-city woman is used to getting what she wants. Men throw themselves at her with impunity, so she doesn't have to do anything to attract a man. Take a woman who was raised in a small-town or mid-sized city. She knows that a relationship takes two; both are pulling their weight to make the relationship work. If I had my pick between a small-town woman and a big-city woman, I'd go with the small-town woman because big-city dating is cutthroat. A woman from a major city has a different mindset based on her upbringing.

Why do big-city women have different mindsets than small-town women? It's simple. Women in the big-city are raised to be go-getters and strong. I guess they have to be because there's always people looking to take kindness as weakness, so to protect oneself, you adopt a tough exterior. A small-town woman is into a simpler life. She's looking for compatibility, and could care less about material things. She's used to living at or below her means so if she meets a likeminded man, they can relate to each other because they have the same upbringing. Take a couple in which the man is from a small-town and a woman is from the big-city; they are opposites so there's not much they could have in common. When you join two people together with different mindsets, sometimes they'll click, others not so much. I could date a woman from the big-city, as long as we vibed well and she was humble.

Professional big-city men are starting to see how materialistic big-city women are, so they choose not to deal with them, and I can't blame them. Yes, there's more opportunity in the big-city and when you've reached a level of success, you tend to seek out a likeminded (wo)man. What you value goes into how you live life.



Black Women Outnumber Men In Church

 

Black Women Outnumber Men In Church

It's no secret that black women, and women as a whole outnumber men in church. Why do black women outnumber black men in the church? For the most part, women are much more interested in being led by the Holy Spirit and since pastors are called by God to spread the gospel, women pack churches nationwide to hear what God has to say through the pastor. The women become so obligated to the Pastor and his wife that they neglect their own healthiness and homes. They seek out the Pastor instead of God on every decision, and oftentimes the Pastor is biased and gives advice that benefits him & his household. There are pastors who are led by God, and will advise their members to pray about their situation before seeking additional counsel. I think all pastors should require their members to read their Bible before coming for counseling. The Bible will have their answer.
Some women are notorious for saying the following: I Don't Need A Man, Jesus Is My Man. The word "my" signals ownership. No one can have him but you. You never hear men saying "Mary is my woman" or "I Don't need a woman, my momma is my #1 lady" No, because we know how foolish that sounds. I understand why some women would say the aforementioned statement, because many women have no desire for marriage so they have to stake claim somehow. Because many pastors know that their congregation consists of mostly women, they tell women what they want to hear and she eats it up. If I was being told what I wanted to hear, I'd be going there too. Pastors know how to appeal to women's emotions, so that's why many women flock to the church every Sunday & Wednesday.
Most men know the deal, so it's hard for a pastor to run game on them. Some men won't be with a Christian woman because that Christian woman is committed to upholding her standards at his expense. That's why the Bible says that believers should not be unequally yoked, because of conflicting beliefs. Also, many men know that the biggest freaks can be found in church. All it takes is the right wordplay, and she'll be screaming Jesus, but it won't be for the right reason.

Bae, I want to go

GSRT Member Question: Do you feel it's appropriate for married men/women to take separate vacations? We've been married for 2 years; it seems like every time I turn around, my husband is going away for a weekend or a few days with the boys - fishing, trips to Vegas, hiking trips, golf trips etc--wives are never invited. We took ONE vacation together last year, but he went away with his boys 5 different times! I don't like it and feel that once or twice a year with the guys is plenty. He says I'm being insecure, but if he can make time for getaways several times with his boys, why not his wife?

 

A husband & wife are under no obligation to take vacations together, although it's encouraged. From time to time, couples need to be away from each other so they can appreciate the time they have together. Like the old saying goes: Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Think about it, if you're under your spouse 24-7, 365, then something is wrong; You need time to miss your (wo)man. It sounds like he doesn't love his woman because if he's always hanging with his boys, then that tells me there's something going on in their relationship that's causing him to withdraw. Maybe she's not meeting his needs, maybe he's cheating, there are too many variables to consider. She mentions they took one vacation together and he went off with his boys 5 times that year: There is some reason to be concerned because any man with a good woman would enjoy her presence on vacation with him.

There is no reason for any (wo)man to spend more time with their friends than spouse. I get their friends were there before (s)he came into the picture, but true friends would respect their relationship, and if they see something wrong, they would admonish him/her to fix things with their (wo)man. Another reason could be that she's not into fishing, going to Vegas, hiking and golf, and he doesn't want to upset her by bringing her on those trips where she won't enjoy herself. This is what she can do: Plan and schedule the trips she'd like to take with him. Put them on the calendar & tell him that those dates are RESERVED for you and him. Do not budge on it. It's ok for him to let loose with the guys as long as she gets hers. If she's getting neglected, then she's allowing it. She can also go away with her friends.

One gripe I have with questions like this is that if a man does something not involving his woman, she's quick to throw out he's cheating. If there's no evidence of cheating, there's no reason to assume infidelity. Some men actually have other things on their mind than sleeping with women.

Waiting To Have Children

GSRT Member Question:

Me and my fiance are getting married in June, but one thing we can't agree on is birth control. He says we should accept as many kids as God chooses to bless us with.
I would like to wait a year or two (we are both 29). We still have school loans and we just put a down payment on a house and will have a mortgage now. I feel we should enjoy our marriage and also be sure we remain stable with the new mortgage before having children. I also know kids are expensive and I think birth control is on order. 
We have gone back and forth about it and he finally said "do what you want", but he's resentful and keeps bringing it up. We have to agree on something before the wedding. We have talked to our pastor and he supported my husband's point of view and said we need to have faith that God would provide financially for any kids we have, but I'm still not feeling it.
Thoughts?

 

God gives us common sense.  She's doing the right thing by holding off until you are ready in the many varied ways it takes to raise a family. 1) Financially, it costs about $500,000 to raise a child from birth to 21. 2) It is a known fact that marriages without children are much more stable and happy than ones with children because of the added stress of responsibility. I suggest she lets him know that for the moment you are going to use BC after all, it IS her body that will carry the load of pregnancy and your mind that will need to deal with the bulk of the raising because she's the mother.  Her thoughts of waiting until they are financially able, marriage solid and stable are spot on. She's thinking smart.  She should stand firm and trust her God given instincts and intelligence. She must not be pushed into a situation where at the end of the day SHE'LL be stuck with the burden, and not him. He should understand that it is not a 'control' issue, but simply one of expediency. She seems wise, thoughtful, and faithful. He'll appreciate it later, trust. Many times men really don't know what's best, but that's what wives are for, to advise, educate, and influence for the BETTER.

Student loans and a mortgage? He sounds crazy talking about having children given loans and mortgage? Depending on the size of the loans, they should pay off the loan first and then revisit the idea of having children. It's best to have little or no debt before having children so one can provide for the child(ren). If this couple is debt free, they will have no worries about their child(ren)'s needs. Birth control is a responsible decision. She should have the number of children that she can financially & emotionally support. Too many people are bringing children into this world and their money isn't right. It's good to trust God for provision, but God also gave us brains to use in the decision making process. She must do what's best for her, even if he won't like it.



Pearls: By Trina Rogers

This was too good NOT to share. Written by Trina Rogers (Facebook friend):

 

Everything on this earth that is precious or rare, is hidden or hard to obtain. Pearls are hidden at the bottom of the ocean and diamonds are put through intense pressure to become an irreplaceable stone. This same "precious" label should be put on a woman's body. Women need to understand how important our "temple" is to humanity so it doesn't become a sales item in a discount retail store, accessible to low-budget customers. To a real "investor" your essence is worth finding, working for, and cultivating for a life long purpose that benefits the world. When it comes to your significance, don't advertise. When you give it away, you devalue the prize.



Rewriting Wedding Vows

Most people have no concept of committment, so I'm going to rewrite the wedding vows. Normally, a couple's wedding vows go like this:

 

Do you take this (wo)man to be your lawfully wedded husband/wife

to have and hold

Through Sickness & Health

Better or Worse

Richer Or Poorer

After the couple recites these vows, they say "I Do"

 

Revised Version

Do you take this (wo)man to be your lawfully wedded husband/wife?

To have and to hold

Through good health

For Better

Richer

Until I find someone better

As long as you don't piss me off

 

When I think about it, why wouldn't the wedding vows be revised? Some people want the perfect mate, even if they aren't perfect. I agree that if you have yourself together, you should seek a likeminded (wo)man. Two whole people make for a power couple because they have similar character. I'm going to use the 80/20 rule. You're gonna get 80% of what you need in a relationship, no more no less. Someone comes along supplying the missing 20%, and you're considering leaving the 80% thinking you're gonna get something better from that 20. Once you leave, you realize that you messed up because what you thought was better, fell short of what you previously had. That 80 you left has moved on with someone who adores them, and motivates them to grow. The catch is, (s)he is right there by their side. Even if someone better comes along, (s)he won't stray because they're satisfied with the one they're with; not many people are that committed to their partner. Why do you think some men marry younger women? Because they're no longer attracted to their wives. Women marry young too, and given the right circumstances would leave their husbands in a flash. There was a time where marriage was valued, but those times have long passed. Some people treat marriage like a car dealership: They have a good car (spouse) that they've invested time in, that car has done right by them, and as soon as a newer model comes out, they trade in their spouse for a newer one.