Hood 2 Hood

Hood 2 Hood is a DVD series that takes you through some of the nation's most dangerous neighborhoods on the East & West Coasts, Midwest & The South. In this DVD series, you have interviews with real drug dealers, gangsters and hustlers who talk about what goes on in their neighborhood, a little about their life, etc. Some of these guys are bold enough to show automatic weapons on camera WITH police in close range. The thing is, these guys have no fear of the law because with their profits from hustling, they can afford a top notch defense. This one group of drug dealers were riding in a nice Chrysler 600 and when the producer was chatting with them, the hustler showed him $75,000 in 2 cases. One briefcase had $50K, the other had $25K. The producer chimes in with statements like "In the hood, some people carry with the intent to kill," etc.

In every Hood 2 Hood DVD I've seen, there's one common denominator: A group of guys talking about how real it is where they live, anybody can get it, they tote iron, all their friends squeeze (shoot), etc. When you're living the thug life, you have to be tough because you're marked for death. You're fighting with dudes in your own hood, rival hoods, etc. so you never know when someone will shoot you down. That's why I couldn't be into the streets full-force, it's too risky. When you don't have hope, you'll look for it in the streets. Even some of the OG's (Original Gangsters) will tell these young cats that you may love the streets, but the streets don't love you. What they mean is that a young brother gives their life for the streets expecting something in return. The streets will give you nothing but jail or death, because at some point your criminal exploits will catch up with you.

Many of the characters in the Hood 2 Hood DVD series were murdered. I remember a story of a 17-year old gangster who showed $100,000 on camera and was bragging about getting money from hustling. Not even a day passed when some guys kicked in his door and put an AK to him demanding where the money is. Soon as they got the money, one of the gunmen shot him. Do I think Hood 2 Hood DVDs glorify carnage in black communities? Yes and No. Yes, because from the statements made, it sounds like the participants are glorifying death & destruction. No, because anyone who's lived in an inner-city neighborhood can tell you about daily life in the hood. Some inner-city residents are sick of the violence, but they can't afford to move anywhere else.

Men & Women Can('t) Be Friends

How many men are comfortable with their woman having plenty of male friends? Very few, if any. The reason I say that is because men are hunters. We're looking for that weak moment in a woman's life, and once we find it, it's over for her. Think about it, a woman is engaged to be married and she has several close male friends who she's known for years (a few of them she grew up with, and are like brothers to her). She confides in them when she can't talk to her man about what's going on. These men check on her twice a week, comment on her Facebook/Instagram pictures, etc. They've asked her from time to time if she was single, does she see herself with them long-term, and she says yes. Each man adds something of value to her life, which makes it tough for her to choose which friend she would see herself with long-term. The main reason I feel men and women can't be friends is that secretly, men want to sleep with their lady friend(s).

In some circles, if a man is friends with attractive women, he secretly wants to sex them. He'll throw little hints here & there in the form of suggestive comments, flirtatious behavior, doing something extra special for her birthday, etc. That type of behavior is reserved for an exclusive couple. Here's a simple test that men and women can use to test this theory: Let a woman offer her closest male friend sex, and watch how he reacts. If he accepts the offer, the theory is proven that men and women CAN'T be friends. If he refuses, she trusts him not to make a move on her even though she put him in a compromising situation. I'm not saying all men and women can't be friends without sleeping together, but a good portion of them can't. If a man and woman have been friends forever, feelings will develop because of their history together. They've seen each other at their worst and best, know things about each other that they haven't shared with family or other friends, etc.



Timeshare: How To Be A Woman

Today's topic comes from How To Be A Woman's Lotus (she's also a friend of mine). She admonishes ladies to stop treating their palace like a timeshare. Read on:

 

How to Be a Woman

Ladies, Are you treating your vagina like a "timeshare?" Allow me to break down exactly what I mean. A timeshare is a program in which a group of people shares use of a property by dividing among themselves the rights to use a property for specific time periods. If you're having sex with multiple men and allowing them to enter your body, this is in essence what you're doing. You may be swapping bodily fluids with this one this week or month and with that one the next week or month. Some females like to label it as sexual freedom. But, in reality, it's sexual promiscuity, sexual irresponsibility and it's nasty. Call it like it is. Having multiple sexual partners isn't the conduct of a quality woman, but the behavior of a trifling female. It's downright disgusting. Quality men aren't interested in timeshares. They want a home they can call their own. And if you're a quality woman, you should too.ℓσтυѕ

I've Got My (Wo)man, The work stops

What you do to get someone, won't be what you do to keep them. You're getting to know someone, and you're vibing with them. She's digging him, he's feeling her. They decide to become exclusive. As time passes, the couple becomes complacent because they've done the work to get each other, so they feel nothing more needs to be done. As the saying goes, what you did to get him/her, do the same to keep them. I can't argue with this because it's easy to get your dream (wo)man, it's hard to keep them. Couples must be willing to keep their relationship fresh by any means necessary. Do date nights, rekindle the first time you two met, etc. Real couples know the work begins after a couple becomes exclusive, not this play-play nonsense most people are into.

Why does the work begin AFTER a couple becomes exclusive? It's easy, life happens. Loss of a parent/loved one, unemployment, life-threatening illness, etc. Those scenarios will rock the most solid couples. A relationship is tested when life's storms hit you back to back. Can you two stand firm in your union, or will you fold at the first sign of adversity? Many couples are quick to end their union over the first sign of adversity. That's a sign that some people aren't cut out for marriage. Even though the Bible says it's not good for man to be alone, and God will create a helpmate suitable for him; the divorce rate would say otherwise. How a spouse reacts to adversity is an indicator of how suitable a mate they would be.

The work doesn't stop once you get your (wo)man, it's just beginning. As the work begins, the couple must always be on the same page. You never know what curve balls life will throw your way. In choosing a partner, tough questions must be asked. If they respond well, you have a keeper. If not, find someone who's willing to fight hard for you as you are for them.

Peace In Your Home

Everybody likes peace & quiet. Who has time to do battle when they battle enough outside the home? That's ridiculous. Home should be the ONE place where you can retreat to in order to escape the BS of the streets. If you can't have peace in your own house, something is wrong. A man gets up at 5am to hit the gym for an hour and a half, then he puts in a full day on the job. Once he comes home, here comes his wife hitting him with nonsense he had nothing to do with. Check this, she's had her own battles and she's going to unload on him? That's foul. If she was going to act a fool, she should've taken a few hours to debrief before unloading her attitude on him. NO ONE should be responsible for your bad attitude. If you need time to debrief, do whatever you have to do in order to get your mind right. Pray, scream to the mountaintop, vent to your best friends, whatever you see fit. It speaks volumes about you if a spouse unfairly gives their mate their attitude. Men & women are equally guilty of this.

I stand by my premise that if there's no peace in your home, something is wrong. There are times to confront, and times to let it ride. Personally, I don't have time to come home to a woman with a horrible attitude. I can have the best day, and here comes this witch spewing her poison. I'm liable to put her in her place, and dare her to move. That's the difference between some men and women: Many times, women make mountains out of molehills. What's not important to him, is important to her. With men, they confront when necessary and move on. This is why people need to gauge their prospective mates very carefully. Will I have peace with him or her? If so, we can make something shake. If not, both should go their separate ways. You go to war outside your home, and you bring that mess into your home? That's dumb.com. I refuse to sacrifice my peace of mind to do battle with my spouse. Then again, I won't have that problem because I will stress to my prospective woman that if we're going to get married, you WILL NOT unleash your attitude on me for any reason. If you're having a bad day, take time to debrief and let me know what's on your mind.

Then again, how many women DON'T like to argue? A small percentage. They think it's "healthy".



Mixing Business With Pleasure

Mixing Business With Pleasure?

 

There's a common theme among workplace romances: Don't eat where you work. In layman's terms, don't get involved with someone from your job. You see your colleagues 40 hours out of the week (which is more time than most spend with their families), and you're going to develop feelings? That's bonkers. Too much can go wrong getting involved with a colleague, and the relationship goes downhill. Here's an example: You and a colleague are competing for a Director position because the present Executive Director was promoted to Vice President. The position is in Miami, and you two work at the Atlanta office. Once the opening is up for grabs, you and your colleague go to war. Both employees have been on point since they were hired and continue to shine. The supervisor knows she can come to her superstars for help with her assignments because they will help her produce top notch work.

The man and woman do overtime, seek out additional projects and they go all out like never before because both of them want that Executive Director position. Here's the catch, they've been attracted to each other for quite sometime, but they didn't act on their feelings because they want to keep business and pleasure separate. Both the man and woman agree to work on a big project. As they're working on this project, they exchange ideas and their relationship grows closer. Once they put the finishing touches on this major assignment, they agree to dinner & a movie. They enjoyed a weekend together and report for work on Monday morning, keeping their relationship professional. When a man & woman have a good working relationship, it carries over into their personal life. They're a little more flirty than usual, and they have lunch together. No harm right? Right. Remember, these two are doing a good job (so far) of separating business from pleasure.

When the Executive Director announces the promotion, the man gets the promotion because he's considered an expert at his position, so that garners him the respect amongst his colleagues. His co-worker friend acts like she's not jealous, but deep down she is. He's excited, and when he goes to share the good news with her, she side eyes him. You know how some co-workers act when they don't get the promotion they want: Envy is magnified x 100. I don't see myself getting involved with a woman I work with; that would be awkward. The moral of the story is: It's not worth it to mix business with pleasure, because when a promotion is on the line, people's worst side comes out.

 

Does Social Media Hurt Relationships?

Does social media hurt relationships? That depends. Some people say yes, others say no. Truthfully, it's a little of both. Some couples don't allow outsiders to meddle in their relationships (as they should), and others will let any & everyone interfere in their business. Go on social media right now, and you'll read various statuses about social media interference in relationships. My personal view is this: While I do believe that social media does hurt relationships, the success or failure of any relationship hinges on the couple. Relationships require work, and nobody has time to let outsiders mess up what they're trying to build. If a couple is going to be on social media, they should establish their relationship status so as not to create confusion.

Once the relationship is established, any suspect behavior should not happen. Commenting on other (wo)men's pictures saying (s)he's fine or I want to get with this and that person. There have been stories where people have broken up over social media. Those relationships weren't strong to begin with. There's more to the story than we know. It takes a level of trust to be in a committed relationship, and be on social media. Think about it: An engaged man is on Facebook or Twitter looking at pictures of curvy women. One woman catches his eye, and he inboxes her wanting to "get to know her". Conversation flows and he arranges to meet this woman. As they're getting to know each other, his fiancee doesn't cross his mind because he's wrapped in getting to know this other woman.

The conversation turns to sexting, and sexting turns into cheating. The woman starts to suspect something with her fiancee and starts interrogating him. At first he says he was working late, then he graduates to hanging with his boys. Some men won't openly admit their cheating because they don't want to hurt their mate. While there is validity in social media hurting relationships; for the most part I believe that if a relationship doesn't have a solid foundation, it will not last.