Janet Jackson-What Have You Done For Me Lately?

 

Nojma Reflects

20 hours ago

 

So many of us as women sound like that classic Janet Jackson joint "What have you done for me lately?".....when the question can be asked what have we as Black Women done for the Black Man LATELY?

When was the last time we showed him support and encouragement?

When was the last time you even OPENED your MOUTH to speak to one as he passed by?

When was the last time the man in your life could see that you love him through your ACTIONS; not from what you profess with your mouth?

When was the last time you asked a Black Man his dreams, and goals, and was prepared to bring them into fruition?

When was the last time you laced your voice with caring instead of contempt?

When was the last time the man in your life ate a meal that didn't come out of a box?

Here is how reciprocity works....whatever you WANT....you must be first willing to GIVE.

And for all those women that say I promote doing "too much" for the Black Man...you will always

find your man "never doing enough" for you...because he doesn't have the MOTIVATION to do so.

 

The last sentence says it all: If a woman finds her man not doing enough for her, he lost his motivation. One can only guess why.



My Favorite Tweets

Don't people understand the concept of family anymore? Families putting each other on blast on national TV for fame/fortune. Makes no sense.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) August 25, 2013

This goes against what I stand for as a Christian: It's the devil's world, and we just live in it.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) August 25, 2013 

#ICanHonestlySay that America IS NOT a Christian nation. Look at the nonsense going on, and get back with me.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) August 25, 2013

A man must understand himself before he can understand a woman.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) August 24, 2013

The most important lesson a father can teach his daughter, is to never let a man call her the B-word for ANY reason.
— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) August 20, 2013

You can have an easy relationship if you select a likeminded person. You will have rough times, but you'll get through them faster.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) August 24, 2013

Some women are waiting on their Boaz, but they settle for Jo Jo with 5 kids, and no job. Epic Fail

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) August 21, 2013

Women want their man to open up, but she's not ready for what he has to say.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) August 22, 2013

There cannot be two chiefs in a relationship, for there will be conflict. Someone must be the chief, and the other person must be the indian

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) August 16, 2013

Every man who speaks to a woman isn't checking for her, so ladies stop with the attitude. Besides, it's not his fault you failed at life.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) August 16, 2013

Samson was tue biggest simp in the Bible. He allowed Delilah to seduce him into telling her the secret of his strength, and he was done for.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) August 18, 2013 

 There are saints, and snakes in church. Many times, the snakes outweigh the saints.— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) August 19, 2013

The most important lesson a father can teach his daughter, is to never let a man call her the B-word for ANY reason — Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) August 20, 2013

There's nothing open after dark but legs and Waffle House.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) August 2, 2013

Stop Being Thirsty: By Trina Rogers

Stop looking so Thirsty. Stop looking so EASY. Stop looking so trashy and find some class about what you do. Let someone WANT YOU, instead of acting like you need them all the time. Let someone meet your standard instead of you lowering yours to meet theirs all the time. Don't allow your loneliness to make you think that every smile someone gives you means that they want you. Never let your thirst... cause your perception to mislabel someone's intention. Learn how to take a compliment without creating SOMETHING in your mind that doesn't exist. Every compliment someone gives you shouldn't make you fall in love with that person. Stop making yourself so available. There's nothing special about being easy access, so stop advertising yourself as wholesale when your value should be something that can't be bought. Everybody doesn't deserve you, so stop giving your heart, your body, your mind, to any and everybody. Just because they tell you the right things doesn't make them the right one. Just because the first date went right doesn't make them wifey/husband material. Stop searching for it, and let God bring it to you. Acting DESPERATE for attention is not attractive. Not respecting yourself for attention is not attractive. Begging to be noticed is not attractive. Insecure people do that. Insecure people want attention, secure people demand respect. Insecure people brag and show off, secure people are humble. Insecure people PRETEND to be perfect, secure people embrace their flaws. There's beauty in confidence, but confidence isn't about showing off what you got, it's more about being secure in what you lack. Thirsty people are addicted to attention and will do anything to get it. DON'T LET THAT BE YOU!!!!

GAME: By Lotus of How To Be A Woman

 

    This is too good NOT to share.

 

"GAME"

Ladies,

Some women have a negative connotation attached to the word "game." If a man is so-called "running game" on you, that's perceived as negative. The phrase "game recognizes game" can go either way. And, if someone is "lacing you with game" that's a good thing. Game is, simply put, the skill or knowledge you have or acquire in reference to dealing with the opposite sex. As far as I'm concerned, men as well as women need to have "game." As a matter of fact, women that don't have "game" many times end up with men that don't have any, otherwise known as simps. Simps are not quality men and simps are not leaders. Every male is not necessarily a man and every man is not necessarily a leader. A woman that doesn't have any "game" will not be able to identify a man that is lacking "game." If the man that you are getting to know or have recently began dating does not possess the attributes of a quality man, don't continue with the relationship. Charge him to the "game." This is the exact same philosophy that a man should use if he finds out that you are not a quality woman that doesn't know her role. Ladies, there's nothing wrong with "game" when used in the right way. Having "game" keeps you ahead of the "game" and may prevent you from being "charged to the game."

ℓσтυѕ



Called To Singleness

 

Genesis 2:18 reads, "It's not good for the man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him." I think that's true, for the most part. There's nothing like meeting someone who has your back through the good & bad, someone you can open up to & vice versa. What about single people who DON'T want marriage? I believe God blesses single people the same as he does with marrieds, but there's a special blessing attached to marriage. To paraphrase the Bible, it states "A man finds a good thing, when he finds a wife. The Lord showers him with favor" We all want God's favor, and if meeting the right (wo)man is the way to get it, so be it. I truly feel that depending on the level of your calling, marriage could be a hindrance. There will be times where you must devote more to your destiny, than your spouse. For example, look at President Obama: He's got a family, and he's the commander-in-chief of the USA. Taking care of a family is tough enough, but when you're responsible for running a country, that's another list of challenges; you have to balance the best interests of the country, and those who supported you in the election. I look at Michelle Obama, and from what I see, she has no issue with standing by her husband. Wherever he goes, she's right there with him with their daughters. Even better, Michelle has her own agenda independent of her husband Barack, so it's not like she's stuck under President Obama 24-7. It takes a supportive spouse to understand that it's required to spend a little more time on your calling, than with them. Long before (s)he came on the scene, you had a vision of where you wanted to be in 5 years. When you meet someone that has your back, who WANTS you to reach your destiny, they're a keeper. They understand that you may have to sacrifice time with him/her in order to get where you want to go. Being in the military is another one: You're away from your family up to a year or more. You don't know when you'll see your family again, because of being deployed at a moment's notice. It's said that military personnel have the highest divorce rate, based on the continual absence of one or both spouses. Missing out on your child(ren)'s important milestones: First words, school activities, graduation, etc. Family is important to some people, and they seek out a likeminded spouse. The idea of being away for an extended period of time doesn't cross their mind. Some people understand the meaning of spending time with your (wo)man. Getting to know them on an intimate level. You can't do that if you're not there to invest time with him/her. The greater your destiny, the less likelihood of marriage appearing on the radar.

Check & Charge: By Nojma Reflects

Nojma Reflects

about an hour ago

I will never forget a conversation I had with a Sister, that had been a single parent all her life, who stated that she would always tell her son that he wouldn't be shyt. Now he has three baby mamas, lives with her and she helps him pay his child support, but she says he's like that because his father wasn't in his life.

I was like hold up, hold up, and hold up one more time. You, his MOTHER, the woman that bore him, his FIRST teacher, told him ALL his life that he wouldn't be shyt.....it basically became a mantra that you ingrained that in his head, so you predicted what his ain't shyt future would be, groomed him for his aint shyt future....but somehow, it's his FATHER'S fault? I don't know what I found more disturbing: The way she sacrificed her child in order to discount accountability, the level of denial that she displayed, or that the fact that she really felt she was innocent!

Yes an absent parent can make an impact, I can bear witness to that, but what about the impact that the PRESENT parent makes? This example among many others that I could write about is why I do what I do. Our arrogance, gross denial, the get out of accountability aka "victim card" that we automatically dispense whenever OUR WILLFUL actions are put on display, the various shields of deflection we use....I mean it's gotta end somewhere. It has to. Too many of our babies are suffering, being molded in bitter wombs, used as pawns, too many women using their wombs for retaliation, clearly dysfunction breeds dysfunction.

I get all these pleas for balance from women, but yall don't really want balance. I've been accused of being one sided when in actuality, you don't like that I show OUR dark side of the moon. You want some balance? Ok then. Since so many want me to talk about all the ain't shyt men, then it is only BALANCED if we talk about the aint shyt wombs that produced them. If we talk about the doggish men...then it's only BALANCED if we talk about the bitches that bred them, because every dog has a mother right? If you want me to talk about Brothers not marrying women but are sleeping with them then its only BALANCED if we discuss the women that don't MAKE marriage a requirement, but give men the BENEFITS of marriage.

Now how's that for "balance"?

 

 

*All I'm going to say is this: Sister Nojma just checked these deflective women, and charged them with the crime of deflection. Checked 'em and Charged Them.

I'll Go, If I Have To Go By Myself

 

The above link is from the old-school gospel group, The Canton Spirituals. The song is titled "Send Me, I'll Go". I like the lyrics I'll go, If I have to go by myself. When you think about it, sometimes that's what you have to do, go solo. When you're trying to get somewhere in life, and you want to take your loved ones with you, but they refuse to go, you have to forgo them, and go into God's destiny for yourself. When you decide to step out, you're not really going by yourself because God's got you. I think about this song a lot, and I'm at a place where I'm choosing to focus on myself. If others want to root for me and/or come along on my journey, good. If not, I'm still moving forward. As I move forward, the right people may (not) come along. When people see you moving forward into your destiny, that's when some people decide to wake up, and realize the calling of God on their lives. If you look at the biographies of some of society's influential people, in their early lives I'm sure they tried to get others on board with their vision. Some supported them, others did not. Those who didn't believe in him/her were left behind, as they should be. Those very same non-believers probably came back years later after (s)he made it, wanting to rejoice in their success. To use a basketball analogy: You wasn't with me shooting in the gym. Simply put, you weren't with me from Day 1. If those influential people listened to the doubters & haters, they wouldn't have got where they are today. Like the song lyrics state, "I'll go, If I have to go by myself." That's what they did; they went, and never looked back. Genesis 12:1, New International Version-The LORD had said to Abram, "Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father's family, and go to the land that I will show you. The above Bible verse shows how at times, God will call you to leave your loved ones behind to go into your destiny. Did Abram try to rally his loved ones around his vision? Probably. Did they try to talk him out of it? You Bet (everyone, family included, won't always agree with your vision). The important thing is that Abram was obedient to God, regardless of cost. In Closing, I say this: You will have to do what the song says and GO, even if you have to go by yourself.