Prince Charming: By Dahlia (How To Be A Woman)

How to Be a Woman

Ladies, it's okay to have dreams for your Prince Charming. We grow up imagining ourselves as princesses and we hope to find that prince that will whisk us away to a beautiful castle and that we'll live happily ever after! But, unfortunately, life isn't a fairy tale.
As young girls, we're princesses that dream of princes. As women, we're Queens that dream of Kings. Don't give up your dreams, because they can come true. You can find that wonderful, real man, but you must understand what it is to be a wonderful, real woman. You must be on top of your A game, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. You need to understand that while a college degree, a nice place and a good job are great things, that doesn't put you at the top of the totem pole. Real men want a good woman at their side, one who has her own mind, acts like a lady and submits to him, as well as other great features and aspects. And ladies, you already know that you only submit to the right kind of man.
It's okay to have a dream. But the purpose of a dream is to work on it to make it a reality. If you dream big, do big. Make sure you can be the best woman you can be for yourself, and be on point so that a great man will check for you. Water does indeed seek its own level, so be on your Queen ish so you can find a man on his King ish. Be the best and the best will come to you.
As it was said in "Inception", "You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling."
~Dahlia ♥

 

 

My View: When I started this blog website in January 2012, the intent was to showcase my $.02 on various subjects. I still do that, but I also promote others' work on my blog as well. The Facebook Group How To Be A Woman is a page that I proudly support because the ladies who run it are stand-up; one of which is married. Much of this week's material has come from their page, because it's too good NOT to share. Today's topic is titled Prince Charming. Every woman dreams of finding her Prince Charming; the perfect man she can live happily ever after with. Nothing wrong with that, because a stand-up man seeks a queen he can grow old with. The difference between today's woman seeking Prince Charming, and children's fairy tales is evident: In children's stories, the princess spent time getting herself ready for her Prince. She made sure she had herself together, and she wasn't satisfied until her Prince saw nothing but perfection. Today's woman? Not so much. Some women want to be called queens, but many act NOTHING like one. How can you be called a Prince or Queen, when you don't have the qualities of one? That's nonsense. This part stands out to me: Make sure you can be the best woman you can be for yourself, and be on point so that a great man will check for you. Water does indeed seek its own level, so be on your Queen ish so you can find a man on his King ish. Be the best and the best will come to you. If you want the best, BE the best. A woman has every right to want Prince Charming, but she should make sure she's getting herself together so that when Prince Charming arrives, she will know it. Nobody has a right to expect the best, if they're not the best, or willing to become the best. That goes for men & women.

Forgive & Forget: On My Terms

Hurt is a part of life. Everyone has been hurt, will be hurt, or is hurting right now. For those who haven't been hurt, it's only a matter of time because people are flawed. Some people deliberately hurt you, others don't mean to hurt you (but they do). Those who deliberately hurt you, at least you know where they stand, and you can avoid them or deal with them from a distance. If someone hurts me deliberately, they are showing me their true colors. Once someone shows me their true colors, it's a wrap. I choose not to deal with them because who's to say they won't try to do it again? One strike is all I need, and I'm gone. Everyone is familiar with the phrase "forgive & forget", right? I believe in forgiving, but not forgetting. If you forget, you'll fall for their mistakes again. People do what you allow, always remember that. At some point, you must wise up to how a person is, and deal with them accordingly. Some people can forgive & forget, while others the healing process takes time. Some hurts are so deep that it takes time for a person to forgive & forget. For example, sexual abuse is one of those tragedies you CANNOT just get over. Most sexual abuse occurs between loved ones, and for someone to violate a person in that way is shameful. The hurt from that stems so deep, that the victim is going to need counseling, and much prayer to get over that anger/bitterness. I will say this: People who say forgive & forget are the ones who have a hard time admitting when they're wrong. These people expect others to give them a pass for their mistakes, but hold it against someone if they foul up. People like this do not make good friends, employees, mates, etc. because they can't take responsibility for their transgressions.

Love Leaving the Heart & Union: By Joe A. Mitchell III

Joe Anthony Mitchell III

This is For the Real Men and Women. In the Marine Corps, Pain is Weakness leaving the body, but in a relationship, Pain is Love leaving the Heart and the Union.
A mistake is something that was done wrong, and can not be changed no matter how hard we try, but through patience and understanding, caring, and love it can be forgiven. To my married folk heres a lesson, and to my engaged folk, heres a message. If your married and God fearing as you say, why are you running from your marriage and seeking a divorce? If you say God put you two together, then it should be God who tears you apart (Death do us Part) If your engaged, stop running from every little argument or fight. If a fight did ensue, what part did you play in it? If he or she has come to you and said babe, or sweety lets work it out, and all you can say is no I don't want this anymore, and he or she has begged you, you can't get mad when another man or woman wants what you have. How many times are you going to reject your love one? Will you push them to the point they tell you they hate you, when you know thats not in their character? How many more games are you willing to play with people's mind and hearts? And lastly, do you really really really know, there's a (Thin Line Between Love & Hate). If you got a good man or woman, hold onto them, everyday isn't going to be sunshine, but its up to you to make those raining clouds and thunderstorms disappear. Amen.

 

My View: This should be a part of pre-martial counseling. Every couple seeking to get married must memorize this marriage credo. If every couple committed this to memory, divorce would be non-existent because before hasty decisions are made, each person takes time to clear their head, and then work out their issues. It's funny how people say they're God-fearing, and when they get married knowing there will be good & bad times, the first thing they say is "I Want a divorce". Obviously, they must be not God-fearing because if they were, they would pray together and seek God's direction for the rocky times in their marriage. God gives two reasons for divorce: Infidelity, and abuse (although not explicitly mentioned in the Bible). As difficult as it is for me to say this, infidelity can be forgiven. The offender must repent of the transgression, and work to regain their spouse's trust. I believe that if you don't have trust, you have nothing. Infidelity warrants automatic termination for many people, and that's fine. If you're faithful to your (wo)man, and (s)he cheats, the hurt person is within their right to kick you to the curb. In that instance, you have no one to blame but yourself. If you're bold enough to creep, you're bold enough to accept the consequences. I truly believe that some people are not cut out for marriage, let alone a relationship, because if you're going to run from every little fight, what does that say to your (wo)man? That tells them you aren't committed to making a relationship work. Therefore, they can't count on you to get in the ring and fight with them for your marriage.



Apologize For Being Blessed

I was watching Steve Harvey's comedy routine on BET, and he touched on this. He said: When you get blessed, some of your friends will make you feel like you have to take them with you. Now, that's complete craziness because real friends celebrate your success, not make you feel like you have to bring them with you. It's YOUR discretion as to whether you want to share your blessing with your friends. I will say this: Had your friends kept the faith, and done the work, THEY could get the same blessing. Some people are so humble that they actually feel bad for being blessed, like they don't deserve it. Yes, none of us deserve God's blessing, but he blesses us out of the goodness of his heart. The idea of apologizing for being blessed is crazy. One of my Facebook friends has a saying: I will never apologize for being blessed. If you have a problem, take it up with the Lord! That right there is confidence in knowing you have a right to expect God's blessing. Obedience, and being faithful will yield staggering blessing. As you get blessed, you may have to cut some friends loose. Why? A lot of factors: Jealousy-Some friends will get jealous of your blessing, because they feel like THEY deserve it more than you. "Why is (s)he being blessed, and not me?" "I'm doing the same thing they are, and yet I haven't gotten my breakthrough". The statements are ongoing. God has individual blessings for all his children; you're not going to get the same blessing as another person. Your blessing may come in the form of supernatural talents, another's blessing could be financial, this person's blessing may come through good health (even though certain medical conditions are hereditary), etc. God blesses people how he sees fit, it's not up to us to determine how God wants to bless folks. I feel like this, if you have to apologize for being blessed, you don't deserve the breakthrough. You can remain humble, and enjoy your blessing. Or, better yet...if you don't want your blessing(s), I'll take yours!



Players Revealed

           I had a conversation with a Facebook friend about this very subject, and this is how the convo went:

 

PLAYERS REVEALED:
"A player is usually a manipulative, deceitful person, its hard to know. They usually end up tripping themselves up. There are usually tell-tale signs. A player shows up and works really really hard to be in your life as much as he can right away. He's extra sweet, too charming and tries real hard to make you believe your life has no value without him. Yes men use sex as a weapon too, so watch how much he brags about what sexual feats he can do for you. He does not give real information about him, he skirts over any details you may ask for. A player moves in real quick for the kill. That first 30 days he is so totally prince charming. Tries to get you hooked on him. Then when he thinks he's got you he backs all the way off and makes you chase him.

He does the minimal he can to keep you hanging while he moves on to his next victim or chase. Watch how big his ego is...that's a huge red flag you have a player on your hands.

He's all flash and no substance. He doesn't talk much about real life things that should be close to him like family, details about his job, as a matter of fact he paints himself to be that guy who's life is almost too good to be true. Material things are high on his list of priorities. He'll want you to do lots of stuff for him, while he barely does anything for you.

ACTUALLY A player is easier than you think, he tries to make you think you're lucky to be with him, his ego will be his greatest down fall, he can't resist flirting and will often go to the bath room or check on his car and if you watch he'll have something to say to some girl or the waitress when he walks away from you. He's usually in a hurry because he has others to bless with his presence, and is in a hurry to get you into bed, (but of coarse it's be cause he's so taken by you) and if he gets turned down a couple of times he'll go bless some other lady with his affections cause that's all he's really interested in. UNLESS he's real player and then he'll walk through hell and high water until he does score and his giant ego is soothed. One golden rule to remember, if he's instantly too good to be true....He probably is. yes they dress well and know how to talk and usually are good at pleasing you sexually. but a true player gets you to spend your money, invest your time, change your plans or schedule to accommodate them. and they will be the perfect person until they are done with you then they drop you never to be heard from again. and a real player will play off your emotions and never use any of theirs. As for a true player, it is not so much about sex as it is their EGO. They crave feeding their ego by seducing you with what they think you want to hear. The more you respond to them, the more euphoric it is to them. It's a fix they need to uplift their own insecurities within themselves. They are very charming, funny, very good with words, initially very available. They appear to be humble and very caring to others, when in fact they only care about themselves. They love the chase and conquering of the whole process. Once they have you at your peak of wanting them, they'll back down and run to the next victim. "

11:05am

　

　

Richard Hudson

Spot On. The problem lies with women who entertain these types, then cry & paint all men as dogs after being hurt.

11:27am

　

　

Jeannine Carswell

Oh yes!!! The women who *enjoy* bad boys deserve what they get. I feel no sympathy for them. The thing is, men like this pursue ALL KINDS of women, not just the women who seem to "want" them on the surface. They'll prey on lonely women - GOOD women, but lonely ones- and take advantage of their vulnerability. They go after strong women, religious women, educated women, etc. I had great male friend of mine tell me recently "Jeannine, you are a challenge to men. You are like Mt. Everest, and the smoothest players want to CLIMB you. Want to be able to say that they conquered a woman like YOU. They FAIL miserably with you though lol" And it's so true!! These "players" are so used to weak-minded women who bow at their COMMAND and women that become slaves to their CHARM. That is not me and will NEVER be me! But these men and their EGO believe that my mind can be changed. So they'll try to deceive me...lie about themselves to impress...charm me...compliment me to death...stare EVER SO DEEPLY into my eyes. **I've GOT her** Umm...NO dude. I'll enjoy your compliments but I'm not swayed by them;I appreciate your charm but I'm not giving you SHIT until you show me your authenticity; Stare at me ALL you want but I can see your TRUE INTENTIONS in those bedroom eyes. Ms. Carswell will MIND-FUCK you better than you could ever do her!! Nigga I will flip the script on you!! They ALWAYS feel so stupid by the time I'm finished with them. It's really amusing for me. Bad People sometimes need a taste of their own medicine.

12:24pm

　

　

Richard Hudson

The strongest of women aren't immune to being duped. Men hunt, observe, we stalk our prey. All women have vulnerable moments, and men play off that. Once a woman lets her guard down, BOOM! A player moves in for kill. It doesn't matter how discerned a woman may be, a player will always adapt to the kind of woman he's with.

12:39pm

　

　

Jeannine Carswell

Oh yes. And that goes for the man or the "player" also. I actually don't mind letting my guard down at certain points. However, I'm excellent and getting a man's guard down if I really want to also. So it ends up being this "battle" of wills, ya know. I love to f*ck a player's mind up - has happened many times.

Lastly, a man's desire for pussy or taste for "conquering" should have some kind of boundary. A man shouldn't be willing to be EVIL and crush hearts unnecessarily JUST to fuck somebody. It's not that serious! There's too much "easy" pussy in the world to put a good woman that you do not DESERVE through a bunch of BS. Just because you have a dick shouldn't mean that you lack ALL morals.

12:42pm

　

　

Richard Hudson

True, you gotta be delicate with it. LOL @ these dudes trying to strongarm for coochie. Smh.

12:50pm

　

　

Jeannine Carswell

Welp. Richard you & I do have our differences. But I can say that we both have very strong minds & willpower when it comes to relationships, and I respect that

　

　

　

Jeannine Carswell

When you do post the topic, please add my first reply about players chasing "all kinds" of women too.

12:57pm

　

　

Richard Hudson

I will

A true player goes after all kinds of women.

Professional, working-class, etc.

12:59pm

　

　

Jeannine Carswell

Thanks

And I didn't know that at first, as many women don't. But I am absolutely aware now.

I avoid players. They don't turn me on in any REAL way. And if I do stick around (for the amusement), it's just to fuck with them the way they fuck with other people.

　

1:04pm

　

　

Richard Hudson

Lol, they reap what they sow.



Getting Checked

From The Facebook page How To Be A Woman:

Ladies, there's nothing wrong with getting checked by your man. Sometimes, you don't see that you're getting irrational with him and you need him to get you back to rationality. There's never a reason to get catty, combative and childish with your man, ever. But if you do, or you're just being disrespectful and argumentative, you need to be put in check. Your man is there to lead and provide, so he will do his best to lead you in the right direction, and provide you with good game for your overall wellbeing. And when he's checking you, he's trying to get you back on point so he can continue to properly lead you and provide for you. No man really wants to check his woman, but he must so you two can prosper and grow together.
 Respect the check ladies.
~ Dahlia

 

My View: Why do some women equate correction as being controlling? When a man checks his woman, her first response is getting defensive. This is because many women aren't used to having strong men in their lives that will tell them NO. This is the whole premise behind the simping movement; men need to learn how to stand up to domineering women. A woman's job is to stand by her man, even if she doesn't agree or understand the rationale behind his decision(s). Many men lead with good intentions, they make decisions that will benefit them, and their family. You wouldn't know it because women seek out soft men, or as I like to call them simps. A simp will always tell a woman what she wants to hear, instead of what she NEEDS to hear. These same women will complain about not being able to find a real man. Well..real men are around, but most women aren't checking for them because a real man knows when to lower the boom. A man's job as the HEAD is to maintain order by any means necessary. If his queen gets out of order, he checks her in love so she can get back track. A REAL WOMAN will respect her man's leadership, as long as he's leading in the right direction. Of course, no woman is going to/should follow her man if he's not handling business. This boils down to the man. If a man wants a submissive, respectful woman; he must be submissive & respectful. Sometimes, men pursue combative & disrespectful women, and try to mold them into submission specialists that they get frustrated with her rebellion. Well, that's his fault because he should have known how she was when they got together. If a woman has a combative & disrespectful nature, why would a stand-up man take her on as his lady? Many women want free reign to be themselves, and if that means being combative, so be it. When a strong man puts a combative woman in check, she can't handle it because she thinks he's being controlling. Hello, she is a reflection of him. No man wants to be with a woman that will make him look bad; if that means he has to put her in check, so be it.

Polygamy

I posed this question in one of my Facebook groups. The responses were varied, with some saying no, and others yes.

 

Fellas: Would you engage in polygyny (having multiple wives) if all the women were committed to helping you build?
Ladies: Would you be okay with being one of your man's many wives?

 

Here are the responses:

Amber Traylor Nope

　

Richard Hudson Lol. It's hard enough trying to please ONE woman, but to satisfy many? No ma'am, lol.
Amber Traylor Exactly Richard Hudson... just imagine!!!!!!

　

Sharen D Robinson NOPE! Its hard enough to deal with a man one on one snd folks want to add a few other broads to the mix. NOT!!!

　

Mary Stieff NO WAY!

　

Anthony Robinson Hmmm, polygamy? I don't know. I'd have no more than 4. I need time to recover.

　

Demetra Tinson Yes, I keep telling you I need a sister wife over here to cook, clean, and watch the kids, and she needs to go to work.
Kim Ward Polygamy sounds all cool for men until they realize they realize they can't afford multiple women. If all of the sister wives were entrepreneurial minded and good mothers, it could work. I wouldn't do it.

　

Deddric Dale Ridley No

Robert Wells I assume he means team players Sharen, not these crazy "independent" types...they would never get recruited anyway...they can't even get drafted for a traditional marriage...

　

Robert Wells I should say "tradition western"...

　

Amber Traylor My ex fiance's dad had 2 wives.. they ended up bonding and he got mad and kicked both of them out...