Deflection

Mention men's issues and people shout the house down. Mention women's issues and you get deflection and combativeness. Seen it many times over on FB and real life; it never fails. The deflection many women display when you try to correct them just proves the very case. Wonder why men don't play the deflection/combative game? Men are usually better at receiving correction because we're used to getting our behinds handed to us, therefore we make the proper adjustments. Men may deflect, but never to the degree of women. Men were usually raised to take responsibility for what they say/do and that sticks with them throughout life. Women are used to being coddled that sometimes people overlook their transgressions. In a woman's eyes, she's never wrong. She always thinks she's right and nobody can tell her otherwise. Deflection is not a good look on ANYONE, man or woman. Deflection shows your inability to take ownership and no one wants to be around someone like that; unless of course deflectors seek out those who tell them what they want to hear instead of what they NEED to hear. You have some men that throw their brick and hide their hand and to me, they're little boys, not men. A man stands behind what he says even in the face of opposition; he's not afraid to catch heat for how he feels and thinks. I read a lot of Facebook threads and when someone makes valid points, there's always someone who says "y'all do it too, what about you guys" That may be true but to deflect the truth of a situation is crazy. This is a good example of the craziness I read on Facebook on a regular basis: If a woman checks a man, women call her courageous and a hero. If a man checks a woman, women say he hates women and his mother. Both sides have issues they need to work on but at the same time, when the focus is on a particular person, place or thing, DO NOT deflect in any way, shape or form.

Cleopatra Treatment vs. Jezebel Personality

You can't expect Cleopatra treatment if you're acting like Jezebel. Cleopatra was one of the most powerful female rulers of her time. She had a beauty like no other and used her charm to influence male rulers. Cleopatra didn't have to throw her weight around to let people know she was in charge, it showed in her grace and most of all, her influence. She never (to my knowledge) acted out of character. In most depictions, Cleopatra is portrayed as a great beauty, and her successive conquests of the world's most powerful men are taken as proof of her aesthetic and sexual appeal. She knew how to make herself agreeable to everyone. Jezebel was a Biblical figure, she was the wife of King Ahab. Jezebel is a term used to describe a spiteful woman. What baffles me is Jezebel women who feel they deserve Cleopatra treatment. How can a woman of poor moral character demand she be treated like Cleopatra? SHE CAN'T. A real man is not going to give the wrong woman queen treatment. Real men will always gravitate towards Cleopatra-type women because they know she will do right by him. She won't have an attitude because her man will go above and beyond to keep a smile on her face. With a Jezebel woman, that's not the case. No matter what a man does, it's never good enough. She nitpicks about everything and her intent is to drive him away (which she usually succeeds). Most Jezebel women don't care if they drive people away but you have a few who do. By the time Jezebels begin to work on themselves, they've done enough damage to where NOBODY wants to be around them. A Cleopatra woman is powerful, yet humble & respectful. She's no pushover but knows her role. A Jezebel woman is an overly opinionated woman that has to have the last word. She always thinks she's right and no one can tell her different. She has very few, if any friends. Of the friends she may have, they are fellow bitter Jezebel women who don't have the balls to tell her the truth. A Jezebel woman will never be endearing to anyone due to her negative disposition. On the contrary, Cleopatras are highly sought after women due to their pleasant disposition.

Tell It Like It Is Friday: Episode 2

Tell It Like It Is Friday, episode 2: Action.

-Lame is an unemployed man who leaves the house at 7am and returns at 5pm acting like he put in a full day on the job.

-Lame is a man that finds it acceptable to lay on the couch while his woman brings home the bacon. No woman wants a lazy man.

-Lame is a woman who wants to be the man

-Lame is a man who wants to be the woman

-Lame is Mitt Romney's disrespect towards our country's CEO

-Lame is Romney's son saying the stupid mess he said about tagging President Obama. 

-Lame is men with no testicular fortitude.

-Lame is men who co-sign women on everything to gain coochie points.

-Lame is the music industry. "Gold all in my chain, gold all in my ring, ice in my mouth, diamonds on my grill; nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga"

-Lame is a woman who holds her education over her man's head.

-Lame is women who think belligerence and combativeness is strength. No, it makes you look stupid.

-Lame is this team dark-skin/light-skin bullish.

-Lame is when you spend more time outside than inside the home.

-Lame is when a woman thinks her man is cheating because he's working late.

-Lame is when a man tells a woman she's full of crap, she attacks his manhood: You're gay, you hate women, you hate your mother bla bla bla bla.

-Lame is people who expect to drop weight by taking some magic pill that lets you eat whatever you want. Malarky.

-Lame is when people don't mind their business

-Lame is blacks that want more out of life are ridiculed for being "white"

-Lame is making fun of someone for a stuttering problem.

-Lame is doing the same thing over & over and expecting different results.

-Lame is a woman who calls a man "gay" for turning down her sexual advances. Newsflash: There are real men who aren't phased by T&A.

-Lame is men who overlook women as the perpetrators in domestic violence cases.

-Lame is a woman who curses. Cursing is NOT ladylike. Please Learn This.

-Lame is when you're married and think you can live like your single. Once you get married, FREEDOM GOES OUT THE DOOR.

-Lame is 1 in 88 children being diagnosed with autism. Back in the day, autism, like other disorders/disabilities were seldom.

-Lame is preachers who are afraid to tell it like it is because they don't want to lose 1/3 of their congregation.

-Lame is thinking that love pays the bills. Love doesn't, hasn't and will NEVER pay the bills.

Top 10 Blog Hits

 I've done 159 blog commentaries since debuting The Chill Zone and I've written some bangers. Here are my Top 10 blogs I've written:

1.Embracing The Struggle-90 views, 2 comments

2.Light Skin vs. Dark Skin and What Is A Man/Woman-54 views

3.Only God Can Judge Me-33 views, 6 comments

4.Black Men & Women's Plight-29 views

5.Foreigners owning businesses in black neighborhoods, 28 views

6.State Of Society Address, Men & Women As Friends, Stop Being A People Pleaser 24 views

7.Black Relationships, I Trust You God, No I Don't-23 views

8.Giving Your Best To The Wrong Person, Relationship Expectations, Where The Real Men At, Welcome To The Chill Zone-22 views

9.Women Raising Boys-21 views

10.Lazy Men, Men Retreating From Their Lady-20 views.

Plenty More Where Those Came From.

Thirsty Men & Women

If someone tries too hard to attract the opposite sex's attention, they're seen as thirsty. Examples: Going all out for someone who doesn't want you in hopes they will change their mind. There's billions of people in this world to get worked up over one person that doesn't want you. Where they do that at? I've always seen thirsty men and women as desperate because they try so hard to get someone that may/may not be interested in them. If there's mutual interest, build upon that and be on your way. Being thirsty is borderline stalkerish, in my opinion because you don't know when to stop. Many women ask why are men so thirsty? My response is that women are dry. A dry woman is a desperate woman that will do any & everything to get a man, short of selling her soul. These types aren't used to being alone and crave manly flesh. Yes, humans were created to be in relationships but at the same time, your satisfaction should not derive from another person. I can honestly say I am NOT thirsty by any means. If I'm feeling a woman, I strike up conversation and if not, I move on and vice versa. I'm not excusing a thirsty man's behavior because while a man goes for someone he wants, it does come off thirsty with the sexual innuendos, the immediate texts/calls/e-mails the same day after the date, etc. After you go out with somebody, you should give them 24 hours of breathing room. This way, both of you can have time to process the date and find out if there's continued interest. Some people may appreciate the immediate contact post-date but to me, it would KIND of be a little weird to go out with a woman and things went so well she decided to contact me immediately after our date. Makes me wonder what was she doing before we went out? Did she have other outlets prior to meeting me? I guess I'm being too hard on thirsty men and women because some people go hard for something or someone they want. I can respect that. There's a time & place for everything. Just like women don't like thirsty men, most men don't like thirsty women (at least I don't) unless there's strong attraction.

Absent For The Struggle, Present For The Blessing

Success is nothing without someone to share it with. Therein lies the problem, the person showing interest in you is with you because you're doing well for yourself but take away the fame & fortune, also the perks and watch those so-called friends and your so-called s/o scatter like roaches. Everybody should want someone who has drive but don't check for somebody who's already made it just so you can get half of everything THEY slaved for when you weren't there during the struggle. Some men and women are good for that, absent for the struggle but want to share in the blessings. She wants to commandeer the ship when she didn't help build the ark.  Not long ago,  I came across a Facebook status that went something to this effect: A husband & wife are married and the husband has a successful business that the wife helped build. Should she get half if they divorce? My response was that if she helped him become successful in his business, yes she deserves half. She played a part in his blessing so by right, he should give her half. If he was already established in his business and she came on board asking for half, then she shouldn't get one dime. If you have someone that has been with you since Day 1, you keep that person on your team because it's hard to find REAL friends. Everybody's checking for you when the bottles are popping and everything's sweet, but when you hit a rough patch that's when you find out who your true friends are. It's amazing that people can be THAT flaw to ignore you when you're struggling but when you become successful, they flock to you like nothing happened. This is why successful people should keep their circle small because not everyone who comes into your life is for you. I know where I'm going in life and each day I pray that God will put the right people in my life to help me reach my dream(s). Having the right people in my corner ensures they aren't there for celebration, but they truly want to see me shine. THOSE are the people I cherish and will keep on my team. A successful future is in the works and I'm so close to making it, I can taste it. In making it, I will watch the people in my corner. You have to because there are wolves in sheep's clothing.

Who You Are vs. Who You Become

People say love me and accept me as I am. BUT what if what you are isn't what you could be? What if they want to love you up to your potential? Are you going to turn that down? Shouldn't a person love who you could be also? I think real love encompasses who you are now AND what you could be with changes that benefit everyone. Yes, a person should love you for who you are but if they see greatness in you, you would be cheating yourself and him/her but refusing to allow that person to love you. I understand loving somebody for who they are based on personality & core values but if you're like many people, you want someone that will help you grow into the person you're called to be. People want someone that will be an asset and not a liability. Being an asset involves pushing someone toward their destiny, being an asset is correcting your spouse in love because you care enough about their well-being to want the best for them and vice versa. If I'm with a woman, my desire is to be the best man I can be for myself and my woman. This can't happen if I refuse her correction. Even if many people never admit it, everyone wants a real man or woman on their team. Somebody that will admonish, yet continue showing them love as they evolve into the (wo)man they're supposed to be. If someone refuses to let you love them based on who they could become, you need to rid yourself of them for they showed you their true colors. They showed you they aren't committed to growth, even if it's for their benefit. Who wants someone like that? Not me and other likeminded folks. Growing up, our parents used to admonish us not only for wrongdoing but because they wanted the best for us. When you were little and your parents corrected you, you thought they were being mean but now that you're older, you see their wisdom. Your parents have been down the same road you're traveling so what's new to you isn't a surprise to them. I will cherish those in my life who love me enough to admonish me to my potential. By loving & accepting someone as they are up to their potential, you take pride in knowing they have evolved into the person they were meant to be. They have you to thank for it.