It's Good To Be Selfish

I used to think being selfish was bad but as I got older, I realized everyone is selfish to a degree. Those who say they aren't selfish are lying because no one can be generous 24-7. There comes a time where you must put yourself first because if you aren't at your best, you can't give anyone your best. No one wants leftovers because leftovers signal scraps. The original person got the good stuff and they left you with their scraps. I'm as thoughtful as the next person but I won't be used. If I get the idea I'm being played, THE END. Selfishness is only bad if you go around thinking the world revolves around you. You don't care if your actions harm others, all you're worried about is getting yours. You have the power to help someone but you choose not to because you don't see that person as worthy of your assistance. Selfishness can be bad if you don't help someone in need. No one has gotten where they're at on their own. I'm selfish (make no apologies) when need be. I want to give the best to someone and if I need to save for myself, so be it. Otherwise, I'm of no use to myself or someone else who is dependent on me to be at the top of my game. What's funny is people get upset when you cut off the gift because you saw they were using you. That's their problem, not yours. Allowing yourself to be used is not the move. It's when you've been used long enough that you decide to be selfish and not care about anything/anyone around you. That's understandable but at the same time, there are genuine people that really need help so to turn your back on them is foul. Everyone is not above being selfish because when it comes down to you or another person, 9 times out of 10 you will do what's best for you and yours.

My Vision

Seems like yesterday I've just debuted The Chill Zone. Since the website's existence, it has grown rapidly. 2308 views and counting. I was supposed to debut this website in June but a good friend suggested I get it up faster and I listened. Since my website has been up, over 2300 people & counting have viewed my website. I'm not going to break that number down but best believe I average double-digit page views daily. My blog website is my way of discussing life from my perspective: what I've seen, been through, situations my loved ones have been through. I also discuss subjects I'm passionate about and as time goes on, I'll start discussing issues that hit home for many people as well as myself. I want to take my talent as far as possible. I stumbled upon blogtalkradio.com and I'm extending my blogging into the blog talk radio. Having my own blog radio show, I reach a wider audience and people put a voice with my writing; it's a win-win for everyone (myself included). The money will be a by-product of my passion for blogging. My following is pretty strong as evidenced by my page views. I'm working on a way to increase my comments because I want to be on all cylinders: Lots of page views, engaging dialogue with respondents, etc. When I was on MySpace, I used to write everyday. Sometimes, I would write twice a day if I had a lot to say. For the past couple weeks, I've written 5 days because I've had much to say on various issues so that's going to continue. I feel like 4 days isn't enough so that's why I give my viewers 5 days of commentary. Periodically, I'll solicit topic suggestions on facebook so I can have something to speak on because the best writers experience writer's block. Even the best writers go through a drought where they struggle to find content. I don't want that to happen so periodically I'll solicit topic suggestions. Also I'll do a series on various issues as well so I can get to the root of why people do what they do and so on. I'm excited about my vision and look forward to how far God's guiding my talent. I've been writing long before I started school and that talent was evident in how I did well on English essay exams. When you have a talent, it shines through in all areas of life. My inspiration for blog commentary is the world around me and my experiences because if someone can be inspired by what I've seen, that makes writing worth it.

Beauty Vs. Money

A reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan to a pretty girl seeking a rich husband

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here.

I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.

You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.

My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?

I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?

Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.

If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I've met a few girls who don't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.

4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty

A philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan:

Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.

My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.

From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money" : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.
However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year.
Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.
By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position".
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased".
Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.

signed,
J.P. Morgan CEO
 

This was so good I HAD to post. This should serve as notice to all golddiggers that looks won't cut it. She may be pretty but as stated in this letter, she won't stay that way. This is what I don't like about these kinds of women; they use their looks to weasel their way into a man's life and think that's all she needs to keep her. A real man like the JP Morgan CEO saw right through her and told her like it was. It may have been a little harsh but this woman needed to be brought down to Level 1. I respect this woman's honesty in admitting she's checking for rich guys, but like the CEO of JP Morgan stated, she would be a liability rather than an asset. This woman needs to get her priorities in order because no rich man with sound morals would get involved with her. Why should he? Most wealthy people got that way by making wise financial decisions and they're not going to let a golddigger bleed them dry. Wealthy people prefer relationships with those of equal financial status.

An Argument Is NOT A Conversation

Arguments and conversations are two different things. An argument is a heated debate whose sole focus is for one person to prove they are right. Arguments usually never get settled because both parties are trying to voice their side of the story. Throw in name-calling, cheap shots and you have yourself a knock-down drag out affair. A conversation is general dialogue between two people. Conversations can turn into arguments depending on the level of passion a man and woman have for the subject. Women seem to think that arguments are healthy; why that is I don't know. Women are used to dealing with their feelings & emotions so of course it's nothing for them to get into verbal altercations. Men don't like confrontation or arguments (for the most part) so a man will always choose the path of least resistance. If a man meets a combative woman, he exits stage left. Why would any man want a combative woman? That's silly. A man's peace of mind is precious and he shouldn't let anything/anyone come between that. Women feel that arguments are "HEALTHY" because it shows you care enough to tackle the tough issues. You can deal with tough issues in a rational manner without flying off the handle. It's when the discussion turns into screaming & hollering, cursing & throwing things that causes the man to walk out. A man is more likely to WANT to deal with issues if his woman presents them in a respectful manner, but if you bring him attitude, he will ignore you and rightfully so. A woman cannot talk crazy to her man and expect him to listen to her. I know for me, I'll let my woman know off top if she expects to get anywhere with me, she will talk to me like she has sense or I will ignore her. What I look like letting my woman talk crazy to me? Won't happen on my watch. Even if I'm wrong, I don't respond to attitude. All you have to say is "Richard, I didn't appreciate your comment or action." See how respectful that approach was? No belligerence involved. Let's be clear, arguments are healthy if they lead to resolution. Arguments ARE NOT healthy if both people refuse to hear each other's side and come to a mutual understanding. This goes for men & women: If you meet someone who's combative, it doesn't matter if everything else is in order, don't proceed further because that combativeness will be the downfall of your relationship.

Interracial Dating

Interracial Dating is no different than regular dating (at least it shouldn't be). Men & Women from different racial backgrounds come together with intentions of building a life together. There was a time where interracial relationships were unacceptable due to the prevalent prejudice back then. Thankfully, we have evolved since the 40's and 50's. I say love shouldn't have any boundaries. If you're feeling someone of a different race/ethnicity, great. Just make sure you're genuinely attracted to him/her and not just to fulfill some fetish you have for black men & women. That's that nonsense right there. Black Women are very loyal to their men. This loyalty goes back to slavery times where when black men were forced into slavery and the black woman was left to hold the family down. Personally, I appreciate ALL the loyal black women who ride for their black men even though some black men come up with nonsense reasons to date outside their race: Black women have too much attitude, argumentative, needy, overly opinionated, etc. There are bad apples in every race, not just black women and for some black men to generalize like that is foul. If you have successful black athletes, more often than not they are with a woman of another race because in their mind, black women are after their money. That may be true in some, but not all cases. You have black athletes who married beautiful black women. I heard a statistic that 78% of black athletes have black wives; 22% are with women of another race. This is my view on Interracial Dating: If you date interracially, make sure it's real. Don't date outside your race because you feel your race is this & that, but do so because you want to build a life with this person. I'll always have love for black women (not because I'm a product of one) because they understand us (black men) better. Granted, I'm open to the love of a good woman regardless of race/ethnicity but I'll always have a preference for chocolate women.

Giving Up Too Easy

A man seeks a woman he can make his wife. Before he can make her his wife, this man will do his due dilligence with this woman. He's going to take his time (hopefully) getting to know her in depth; finding out her outlook on life, where she sees herself 5 years from now, etc. As he gets to know her, she may or may not have mutual feelings. If she doesn't, the woman should make it plain to the man that she has no intention of pursuing anything further with him so he can break it off effectively. No sense in leading a man on. Depending on the man, he may or may not give up easy depending on how interested he is in her. If he's not interested in the woman, it won't matter if she breaks it off because one or both parties agree the relationship won't go anywhere beyond casual conversation. Who knows, the couple may make better friends. If he's really interested in pursuing the relationship with her, nothing's going to stand in his way of catching her. She can reject him 100000 times and that's not going to stop him from going after and eventually catching her. This kind of man knows what he wants and what he has to offer and is going to MAKE her feel him. I can't be mad at persistent brothers because they eventually get what they want. To an extent, I do believe some men & women give up too easy when a prospective mate says no. Remember, that man or woman makes up a miniscule number of the 6.3 billion people existing on Planet Earth. When someone says no, another person says yes; that's how I see it. If a man or woman has themselves together and they get rejected, that's their loss because they're missing out on someone special. From a man standpoint, some men don't focus on one woman because even though things are going great with their lady, some men are still looking for someone better. As long as things are going good with me & my lady, there's no reason for me to continue looking because I've already found my prize. Either he wants a relationship with her or not, there's no in between. He already knows where she stands, so he's not going to waste time waiting for her to change her mind. Because all men and women are different, giving up too easy can sometimes be hard to gauge. If I move forward, she could say I'm going too fast and if I step back, she could say I need to step it up. No matter what you do, it will never be enough so the best thing men and women can do is put their best foot forward and if that's not enough, move on. You have some people that make a person jump through several hoops in order to get to know them. I can understand if they've been hurt but if a genuine person WANTS to take away your hurt, let him or her. At least they want to heal you, which is more than what I and other likeminded men would do. A real man doesn't like an argumentative woman. Men prefer the path of least resistance and if he's just meeting a woman and there's an argument or obstacle, that's a red flag. That's a turnoff and will be dealt with by her getting served the walking papers. A man's peace of mind is important to him and any woman who threatens that is out the door. If she considers that giving up too easy, then yes he gave up too easy. He gave up on a lifetime of fussing/fighting and drama. In that case, he made the right decision to serve her the walking papers.

Double Standards In Breaking Up

There's no doubt in my mind that double standards exist in relationships. If a woman initiates the breakup, people sympathize with her and say she wasn't given enough attention, he wasn't right for her, etc. If a man initiates the break up, he's made out to be the bad guy: He cheated on, abused her or he couldn't love her unconditionally. The hypocrisy was laid on thick. When a woman breaks up with her man, she's not going to be truthful with her loved ones as to why the relationship went south (unless she's a woman of sound character). You will have women who fabricate bogus stories to save face with her friends and family as to why they are no longer together. These women tell their side, their way as to make themselves feel better but the truth of the matter is, deep down THEY know the real so it's just a facade which means the truth will continue eating away at them. The family co-signs her blindly without getting to the root of the breakup. When a lady leaves her man, in most cases he's able to keep it moving because in his mind there are plenty of fish in the sea. He's not going to care about an explanation as to why they didn't work out. Society has lied to women and told them they mature quicker than men,that's only during adolescent years and deals mostly with physical maturity. Adult women are as equally as immature in relationships as adult men. Women feel that men who initiate breakups are emotionally unavailable, which I disagree because a man with discernment can recognize when a woman isn't right for him. Once he realizes she's not the one, he will break it off and rightfully so. Men and women SHOULD NOT give their all to someone they won't be with long-term. (S)he may be able to love unconditionally but it's not going to happen with the (wo)man (s)he left as they were a temporary stop on the journey to finding their soulmate. Honestly, if a man or woman is that petty to fabricate a story to their friends and family to save face, it's a blessing the union didn't work out. They showed their ex their true colors so why stress over foul people? Double standards exist for every situation: A man sleeps with multiple women, he's a mack. A woman sleeps around, she's a ho. Very few people will admit their role in the relationship going south; it's her/his fault, they didn't do this, that and the third. It says a lot about a person when they admit their role in the relationship going south.