Auditioning For Marriage

Repost: Crissy N Jones
2 hrs
A lot of men want a girlfriend to act like a wife to prove that she is worthy of being a wife. Yet, these same men don’t want to act like husbands to prove they are worthy of being a husband. They are quick to say that a girlfriend shouldn’t expect the same level of treatment as a wife. So why is it that women need to audition for the role of a wife but men don’t think they need to audition for the role of husband? Perhaps women aren't requiring that men prove that they are worthy of being a husband. You have women who have been auditioning for the role of wife for years and still never get the part.

I see where she's coming from because a lot of men are good for that, wanting their woman to prove she's wife material by doing wifely duties, but some of these same men don't want to prove he's husband material to her. At the same time, usually women are the ones wanting to be married & if women are the main ones wanting marriage, wouldn't it make sense to prove yourself as wife material? Even if a woman wants marriage, BOTH parties are auditioning for the husband & wife role. A woman is evaluating a man's ability to care for her as a husband, and vice versa (husband evaluating the wife). There's one key difference: Women state their intentions for marriage early on in a relationship, whereas men like to get a feel for their lady before marriage is discussed. This way, no time is wasted on being with someone that's not on the same trajectory. I think of it as pre-screening; get it done early and if the person's not a fit, move on.

No one has the right to expect that which they aren't willing to provide; some men and women need to stop that foolishness. Technically, many men are right in that a girlfriend shouldn't expect wife treatment. A girlfriend is preparing to be a wife, so there are things that should be reserved for a wife, and vice versa (woman for her man). What many people don't realize is that auditions go both ways: A woman has to prove herself wife material and a man has to prove himself husband material. It's stupid to expect something for which you're not going to provide. Both men & women need to prove they are dating material first, relationship material, second and then marriage will come. Too many men and women acting like husband & wife, and it's not working.

Woman: The reason I give my man wife benefits is because I'm afraid he's going to leave me.

Me: That's that 2015 new-age relationship mindset of most people in relationships, give marriage benefits while in courting. So a woman's giving her mate wife privileges while they're dating, then what? There's nothing to look forward to on wedding day because he's been getting wife privileges since they first started seeing each other. It's become routine to him. If a man is willing to leave a woman because she won't give him wife benefits unless he puts a ring on it, show him the door. That's not someone she needs to be with anyway. If you're giving someone husband &/or wife privileges in the courting phase, they tend not to appreciate it because they figure they didn't have to work for it. What you didn't work for, you won't value it as much.

Top 5 Tweets: 10/28

Today's Top 5 Tweets will be a little different. I usually post my top 5 tweets, but I'm going to add a brief caption to each of them.

Nobody can tell me anything different. People are committed to one person, I doubt it.

Being a sidepiece is far more common than monogamy. Think about it, there aren't many people who are committed to one person anymore. SMH

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) October 28, 2015

Big Pat spoke the real on this one. How do you have time to focus on someone else's pockets and yours are empty?

When u real u don't worry about another persons pockets u stay on your hustle and fill up your own! #moneytraingang #wisdom

— Project Pat (@ProjectPatHcp) October 27, 2015

All Canes fans can vouch for these tweets regarding the Al Golden era at University Of Miami. Prayers were answered. 

LOL...Sun Life Stadium looking like a ghost town, and I don't blame the fans who have left.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) October 24, 2015

Al Golden & Blake James are two clowns who NEED to be gone after today. These two lames do NOT understand The U's football tradition. SMH

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) October 24, 2015

Best news I've heard is when Al Golden was fired as head coach of the Canes. He wasn't a good fit at The U.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) October 28, 2015

Strawberry Letter: Sexless In The City

Sexless In The City

With everything she has going for her, sex should continue being the LAST thing on her mind. She's in college trying to better herself while living for Christ. She's done well thus far, so why not keep up the good work? I salute this young woman because although she's losing hope, she's staying focused. Contrary to what some people think, it's easy to stay focused on God even though temptation is all around you: Don't put yourself in compromising situations and Christians keeping themselves covered under the Blood. If she does that, she'll be alright. She can make it if she continues to focus on God and her studies. God has already picked her mate, she just doesn't see it yet. At the right time, God will send the one HE has for her, and it'll be a love story far better than she imagined. 

A virtuous woman is hard to find, and with patience comes great rewards. She's not missing anything, to be honest. Some men will say anything to get between a young woman's legs, and once they've got it, they're long gone and she's stuck like chuck. Unlike her counterparts, keeping herself pure means she's 100% certain she won't be a single mother out of wedlock, let alone have STD's to worry about. She's a diamond whose value can't be measured. I think she should continue immersing herself in fasting & prayer because that's what will keep her pure. If she has friends who encourage her to fornicate, she might want to separate herself from them because you are the company you keep. She'll be alright.

Strawberry Letter: Upset Child

Upset Child

I'm going to be 100 with this: This man is garbage, straight up. He's leeching off this girl's mom and it's upsetting the daughter. When the daughter's away at school, her mother has no help. Mom has to ask friends for help, when she has another CHILD living under her roof. Make it so bad, this child sees how much of a leech her mom's man is, so why can't the mother? I feel bad for this child because she's tried to talk some sense into her mother, and the mother refuses to listen. I bet the LW and her mother have discussed this many times, and each time the daughter brings up her feelings on this man, mom is like "You don't know what you're talking about" or "You're not going to come between me & my man". When I read this letter, I immediately shook my head because letters like this seem to be a common occurrence, where mother lets her man mistreat her and she takes it. If the daughter says something, she's being disrespectful. It's like this: It's on mom to get sick & tired. The daughter can pray for her mother (which is good, she should keep doing that) to see the light, but the final word is on mother. No amount of wise counsel will do any good if her mother doesn't see her worth & understands she deserves a lot more than what she's getting. These are the kind of women that become bitter because once they've had enough and finally leave, they want to make the next man pay for the sins of the previous one. Women like the LW's mother are conditioned to this disrespect, and they camoflauge to hide their pain.

Why Black Millionaires are Never Pro Black

All I have to say is powerful. I mean, this is nothing new to me, but to hear it from the source is something else. Listen to the video clip:

 

Powerful: Why Black Millionaires Are Never Pro Black

Tweets Of Encouragement

There's no point in keeping people around who don't genuinely care about you.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) October 24, 2015

You are your own advocate.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) October 24, 2015

God doesn't have to deplete in order to bless.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) October 22, 2015

Be thankful for those who were there, and those who weren't. Each gives you a new outlook on life.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) October 21, 2015

There can be no other you.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) October 21, 2015

When You Keep Quiet (Pt. 2)

When you keep quiet, you learn a lot about yourself. Today I learned that I can write about any subject, even if it may not interest me. As an aspiring professional blogger/writer, I feel this skill is important because anyone who's writing for a major publisher will be called upon to write about stuff they may not be passionate about. The only alternative is to do freelance writing, in which you can choose your writing jobs. From a blogger perspective, my writing is versatile: I can write on any topic, write on YouTube videos (anyone who's followed my website long enough knows that I've written several blogs based on YouTube videos), do book reviews, or I can write on Christianity. If you give me a topic, I'll give you 16 lines of commentary, double that if I really like the topic.

What I WON'T do is write about filth. There's enough sexual writing out there for those who are into that, but not me. I like my blogs to be clean, but real in nature so some subjects are off limits to me. There are times where I do encouraging blogs, and times where I get real, but I will never write about sex or ratchet behavior because that's not my style. I'm sure if I wrote craziness, my blog website would get 1,000,000+ hits in a few hours, but I don't want that kind of notoriety. It's good to know that God's blessed you with a talent, even better when you're intent on using that talent to glorify God. I wonder what I'll learn next.