Run For It, Run For It, Run!

Run For It, Run For It, Run!

The fact that her fiancé lied about his marital status from the jump should’ve told her about his lack of character. Her father was SMART to have him checked out – something that more WOMEN need to start doing to save themselves from walking into unhealthy situations with dishonorable men. There’s a reason her instincts are telling her not to marry this man. Her parents are wise not to mettle. They’re not telling her not to marry him, but aren't encouraging you to do so either. That decision is HERS. Women have intuition for a reason, the problem is they don’t ACT on it – especially when it comes to a man. They’re too pressed and desperate to have one, or hold on to one even if he’s not worth holding onto. She discovered other lies he’s told although these circumstances were in his past and before her; yet more lies. The relationship started out based on a lie (his marital status), then she found out more lies. Guess what, there were probably FUTURE lies as well.

His “baby mamma” drama is going nowhere. Unfortunately, that comes with the territory when dating men with children, particularly young children. She has much to consider. If the positives outweigh the negatives, then she should continue seeing him, and see where it goes. No need to rush into marriage with someone who you have doubts about. That would be foolish.

Wise Beyond Your Years

When you've seen stuff beyond your years, it shows in your demeanor and your thought process. You have a different mindset than most people.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) February 21, 2015

What does it mean to be wise beyond your years? Depending on who you ask, you could get different answers. I know for me, being wise beyond your years entails having a grown-up, mature mindset even though you're a young age. I used to think something was wrong if a young person was more mature than someone older, but now I embrace it. When I recognize a young person that's wise beyond their years, I think they were raised right from early on. Society will have you believe that you're supposed to do stupid stuff in your youth, but it's refreshing to see more young people being wise beyond their years. Because many people had to take on adult responsibilities as children, they were forced to grow up fast. When you're forced into adult roles as a child, you develop an adult mindset. It shows in your speech and how you carry yourself. What should be sad is seeing adults clowning like children: Gossiping, name-calling, doing childish things. Now THAT'S shameful. When you've seen stuff beyond your years, it shows in your demeanor & your thought process. You have a different mindset than most people. You surround yourself with likeminded folks because you realize that you are the company you keep. Many times, someone becomes wise beyond their years through upbringing; taking on adult responsibilities during childhood. For other people, they had elders pouring into their lives about how life works, and that's also how someone can become wise beyond their years. When it comes down to it, being wise beyond your years is a blessing because you can see things in a way most people can't, which puts you on another level.

My Thought For Today

A lot of people like to say "You don't know what you're not willing to put up with until you're involved with someone" It's like this: When I speak into the atmosphere what I won't tolerate from a woman, I mean what I say. Any woman is welcome to test me, and she'll find out how much I mean business when I serve her her walking papers. She won't get a chance to make the correction because in my mind, she should've thought about the repercussions of trying me. Too many men are scared to put the fear of God in their lady because they don't want to come off as controlling. If demanding peace of mind from your significant other comes off as controlling, tough nuggets. Both couples should be willing to put the fear of God in each other because that forces the couple to be on point at all times. It's something about the threat of losing a good mate that causes one to do whatever it takes to keep their spouse, within reason. In other words, check your (wo)man on small matters so they won't become big issues.

I Love Her

Strawberry Letter | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS

My respect for men who try to heal broken women is dwindling by the second. This man is involved with a hateful single mother who says all kinds of mean things if she doesn't get her way; to top it off, he still loves her and thinks she's a great person. If someone says vicious things if they don't get their way, they're not a great person to be around. If someone's a great person to be around, it shows in their demeanor and disposition. They may be going through rough times in their lives, but they don't take it out on their loved ones. The Bible says that what's in your heart will come out of your mouth, so if you say something hurtful, it was in your heart all along just waiting to come out. The only reason I can come up with as to why he's still with her is because he's trying to see the good in her. By trying to see the good in her, he can work through her pain and have a beautiful relationship. He's better than me because the first hurtful thing she said to me, I'm gone. I don't have the patience to heal a broken woman, nor should I have to. Why should I pay for what her previous ex did? I'm not.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them. She's showing him her nature, so what's the problem? He's trying to change her, but you can't change someone who isn't receptive to change. Only God can change a person's heart, so he should leave it up to the Lord to work on her because from the sound of this letter, he's fed up with her bad attitude. When the man told her daughter he could handle her, the mother puts him to the test. She's pushing him away just to see if he's going to stay. If he leaves, that's confirmation for her that he's a "weak man" who can't handle a supposed "strong black woman" Newsflash: Animals need handling, not humans. Sounds like he doesn't know his worth as a man because if he did, he would've left at the first instance of emotional abuse. When someone emotionally abuses you, it's a matter of time before they physically abuse you.

American Black Women: MrEnigmatic Opinion

This commentary from MrEnigmatic Opinion caught my attention, so I'm gonna share. The commentary is long, but worth the read.

Black American Women.

A man once told me that if you get involved with a black woman, you should keep one bag packed and your running shoes ready. He said that you should make sure that you do not allow her to have anything to hold over your head, specifically children, because it will force you to make her a permanent part of your existence. Children are their only source of power over a black man and they are willing to use that power to its fullest he told me. I pondered his theory for awhile and I suppose I understand where he was coming from. I pondered our recent history with black women. If you look at our recent history with black women, loyalty to us, and our culture has not been anywhere near a priority to modern black American women. Yet many will argue that "they are not all like that" or ask if a black woman has broken your heart solely as a means of shutting down any way for us black men to question their overall collective mentality. Merely saying that they and other black women they know do not fit into the overall disloyalty, is supposed to be enough evidence that we black men are simply paranoid and insecure. Let's examine.

Since the 1980's, black men have been bombarded with imagery and suggestions of black women choosing and encouraging black women to be the wives and lovers of men of other races, white men in particular. Although this is not something women of other races do, black women would argue that this is in some way "normal" that they are simply "exploring their options". Completely ignoring that based on our history with white American men, to choose open forums such as television and magazines is an insult to us black men. Yet they continue to do it without regard to that history.

They have openly called us "gay" which is a favorite insult of theirs, although statistics show that black men are no more gay than white men, yet calling white men a bunch of gay or bisexual men isn't exactly on their radar. They've aggressively called us "down low" in order to put that image out there to anyone willing to listen, particularly if it's women of other races. Now you can even at times see white men mimicking black women and their "black men are gay" chants. Mostly because the image of a gay black man helps destroy our image of masculinity, which white men have been trying to do since the day our ancestors first stepped foot onto Charleston, South Carolina soil.

They have aggressively pushed the bisexual black man image in order to explain their current HIV epidemic, because they believed this preserves some image of wholesomeness they believe they have in the eyes of the public, mainly so that men of other races would not see them as dirty women. They only want black men to appear dirty. The truth is that black women are leading all in HIV contractions for the same reason they lead all in unwed pregnancies; and the black women who contract it the most, are far from wholesome. They are predominately IV drug users, prostitutes and black women who have more condom-less sexual partners than their children have birthdays. condoms. For them to say that black men being DL is the reason for it is like blaming winter coats for cold weather.

They have routinely called us "broke ass niggas" although reliable data shows that black men earn more money than they do. They have never been afraid of their own contradictions in this area. On one hand they expect black men to show his money, to wear it on his back or to ride in it, while spending money simply to spend time with them. If he doesn't, he gets no where with them. He is considered a broke loser and unworthy of their time. Yet they will criticize black men for not being fiscally responsible, and praise white men for not doing the same frivolous things with his money they expect us to do with ours in trying to impress them.

They expect us to be surrogate fathers to their bastard children, or to accept that they prolifically abort the ones they cannot use. They expect praise when their sons become lawyers, but want us to join them in blaming the fathers when he becomes an abominate Thug Nigga. Black men are dead beats when the children are failures, but are not necessary when they are successful.

So what do we do black men? What do we do with this? What can we do with so much disdain and disloyalty? Because I want to keep my reproductive odds high, I have to take the advice of the gentleman I mentioned at the beginning of this post, and make sure I'm always free to leave. I will never give up on black women completely, but I won't give them the power to use their vagina's or their ovaries to gain control over me. I control me. I keep my bags packed when dealing with them, but if some of you progressive brothers choose not to even enter their space...I suppose I understand.

EO.

Mixed Up In Mess

Strawberry Letter | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS

Sometimes I wonder if these Strawberry Letters are for shock value because I think to myself "No one can be this screwed up". Then I realize these are regular people with real problems. At the same time, many of these problems have common sense solutions, such as leaving a cheating (wo)man. Do you really need Steve's insight as to whether you should leave a cheating (wo)man? I mean really, the answers are in many of these Strawberry Letters. This letter here is a special mess. The husband slept with his stepbrother, and she slept with her husband's stepfather and had his baby. I guess they give new meaning to "All In The Family." It's like this: She has no reason to be in her feelings because her stepfather in law wants nothing to do with her. At least he feels guilty even though he can't erase what he did. When you feel guilty about wrongdoing, the best course of action is severing all ties & that's what the father in law did. I don't expect the wife to feel guilty because she has no discretion about herself sexually or morally. If she slept with her husband's stepfather, there's no telling what other men in the family she's willing to sleep with because she felt "lonely." To be honest, I can't come down on the husband and wife because both have done each other wrong. One slept with his stepbrother, and the other slept with her husband's father in law and had his baby. It's all one big mess to me, and I'd like an update on this story. I will say this: If they're entertaining counseling, they might as well forget it because mess of this magnitude probably can't be fixed. To me, there are some offenses that are abominations, and sleeping with someone in your family is one of them.

Top 5 Reasons Why some Christian Guys are still Single (@trackstarz) #tr...

This was posted on my wall by a Facebook friend. It was so good I had to give my $.02. A while ago, I listened to a similar broadcast stating the Top 5 reasons why some Christian women are single. While I agree with many of the points listed, I'd like to chime in on a couple reasons. One reason listed was that some Christian men are "boring". Personally, I don't see anything wrong with being boring because at times, being boring can keep you out of trouble. Think about it, nobody in their right mind wants a spouse that's always going out. There isn't that much in the world that warrants being out all the time. If a woman can't handle my homebody lifestyle, she's not the one for me and I'm ok with that. If a woman has to be sociable 24-7, to me she's seeking validation from people who could care less about her. There are times to be outgoing, and times to be home. In the same light, many of these women claim to want a Godly man. Last time I checked, if a man is dedicated to living for Christ & it shows in his walk with God, then being outgoing is the least of his concerns. The old saying rings true: There's someone for everyone, which is why people need to seek likeminded folks. Outgoing people seek outgoing people, homebodies seek homebodies, etc. When I hear someone say they want someone outgoing, that usually means they want someone who's constantly going out 24-7. The problem is that there will be times where your spouse wants you home with them, and you'd rather be the life of the party.

I'm NOT judging Christian women who aren't virgins because none of us are perfect, but perfection is what we strive for daily. That being said. My only gripe about a Godly woman who's not a virgin is that she's already experienced sexually, and what if she meets a Christian man who's a virgin? Will she be able to deal with his inexperience or is she going to try and pressure him into hitting it because she may be feeling the spirit one day? I don't know too many Christian women who aren't virgins that are willing to respect a man's virginity. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: You can't tell the difference between Christian women and secular women because many Christian women have worldly mindsets.