American Black Women: MrEnigmatic Opinion

This commentary from MrEnigmatic Opinion caught my attention, so I'm gonna share. The commentary is long, but worth the read.

Black American Women.

A man once told me that if you get involved with a black woman, you should keep one bag packed and your running shoes ready. He said that you should make sure that you do not allow her to have anything to hold over your head, specifically children, because it will force you to make her a permanent part of your existence. Children are their only source of power over a black man and they are willing to use that power to its fullest he told me. I pondered his theory for awhile and I suppose I understand where he was coming from. I pondered our recent history with black women. If you look at our recent history with black women, loyalty to us, and our culture has not been anywhere near a priority to modern black American women. Yet many will argue that "they are not all like that" or ask if a black woman has broken your heart solely as a means of shutting down any way for us black men to question their overall collective mentality. Merely saying that they and other black women they know do not fit into the overall disloyalty, is supposed to be enough evidence that we black men are simply paranoid and insecure. Let's examine.

Since the 1980's, black men have been bombarded with imagery and suggestions of black women choosing and encouraging black women to be the wives and lovers of men of other races, white men in particular. Although this is not something women of other races do, black women would argue that this is in some way "normal" that they are simply "exploring their options". Completely ignoring that based on our history with white American men, to choose open forums such as television and magazines is an insult to us black men. Yet they continue to do it without regard to that history.

They have openly called us "gay" which is a favorite insult of theirs, although statistics show that black men are no more gay than white men, yet calling white men a bunch of gay or bisexual men isn't exactly on their radar. They've aggressively called us "down low" in order to put that image out there to anyone willing to listen, particularly if it's women of other races. Now you can even at times see white men mimicking black women and their "black men are gay" chants. Mostly because the image of a gay black man helps destroy our image of masculinity, which white men have been trying to do since the day our ancestors first stepped foot onto Charleston, South Carolina soil.

They have aggressively pushed the bisexual black man image in order to explain their current HIV epidemic, because they believed this preserves some image of wholesomeness they believe they have in the eyes of the public, mainly so that men of other races would not see them as dirty women. They only want black men to appear dirty. The truth is that black women are leading all in HIV contractions for the same reason they lead all in unwed pregnancies; and the black women who contract it the most, are far from wholesome. They are predominately IV drug users, prostitutes and black women who have more condom-less sexual partners than their children have birthdays. condoms. For them to say that black men being DL is the reason for it is like blaming winter coats for cold weather.

They have routinely called us "broke ass niggas" although reliable data shows that black men earn more money than they do. They have never been afraid of their own contradictions in this area. On one hand they expect black men to show his money, to wear it on his back or to ride in it, while spending money simply to spend time with them. If he doesn't, he gets no where with them. He is considered a broke loser and unworthy of their time. Yet they will criticize black men for not being fiscally responsible, and praise white men for not doing the same frivolous things with his money they expect us to do with ours in trying to impress them.

They expect us to be surrogate fathers to their bastard children, or to accept that they prolifically abort the ones they cannot use. They expect praise when their sons become lawyers, but want us to join them in blaming the fathers when he becomes an abominate Thug Nigga. Black men are dead beats when the children are failures, but are not necessary when they are successful.

So what do we do black men? What do we do with this? What can we do with so much disdain and disloyalty? Because I want to keep my reproductive odds high, I have to take the advice of the gentleman I mentioned at the beginning of this post, and make sure I'm always free to leave. I will never give up on black women completely, but I won't give them the power to use their vagina's or their ovaries to gain control over me. I control me. I keep my bags packed when dealing with them, but if some of you progressive brothers choose not to even enter their space...I suppose I understand.

EO.

Mixed Up In Mess

Strawberry Letter | Steve Harvey in the Morning on WDAS

Sometimes I wonder if these Strawberry Letters are for shock value because I think to myself "No one can be this screwed up". Then I realize these are regular people with real problems. At the same time, many of these problems have common sense solutions, such as leaving a cheating (wo)man. Do you really need Steve's insight as to whether you should leave a cheating (wo)man? I mean really, the answers are in many of these Strawberry Letters. This letter here is a special mess. The husband slept with his stepbrother, and she slept with her husband's stepfather and had his baby. I guess they give new meaning to "All In The Family." It's like this: She has no reason to be in her feelings because her stepfather in law wants nothing to do with her. At least he feels guilty even though he can't erase what he did. When you feel guilty about wrongdoing, the best course of action is severing all ties & that's what the father in law did. I don't expect the wife to feel guilty because she has no discretion about herself sexually or morally. If she slept with her husband's stepfather, there's no telling what other men in the family she's willing to sleep with because she felt "lonely." To be honest, I can't come down on the husband and wife because both have done each other wrong. One slept with his stepbrother, and the other slept with her husband's father in law and had his baby. It's all one big mess to me, and I'd like an update on this story. I will say this: If they're entertaining counseling, they might as well forget it because mess of this magnitude probably can't be fixed. To me, there are some offenses that are abominations, and sleeping with someone in your family is one of them.

Top 5 Reasons Why some Christian Guys are still Single (@trackstarz) #tr...

This was posted on my wall by a Facebook friend. It was so good I had to give my $.02. A while ago, I listened to a similar broadcast stating the Top 5 reasons why some Christian women are single. While I agree with many of the points listed, I'd like to chime in on a couple reasons. One reason listed was that some Christian men are "boring". Personally, I don't see anything wrong with being boring because at times, being boring can keep you out of trouble. Think about it, nobody in their right mind wants a spouse that's always going out. There isn't that much in the world that warrants being out all the time. If a woman can't handle my homebody lifestyle, she's not the one for me and I'm ok with that. If a woman has to be sociable 24-7, to me she's seeking validation from people who could care less about her. There are times to be outgoing, and times to be home. In the same light, many of these women claim to want a Godly man. Last time I checked, if a man is dedicated to living for Christ & it shows in his walk with God, then being outgoing is the least of his concerns. The old saying rings true: There's someone for everyone, which is why people need to seek likeminded folks. Outgoing people seek outgoing people, homebodies seek homebodies, etc. When I hear someone say they want someone outgoing, that usually means they want someone who's constantly going out 24-7. The problem is that there will be times where your spouse wants you home with them, and you'd rather be the life of the party.

I'm NOT judging Christian women who aren't virgins because none of us are perfect, but perfection is what we strive for daily. That being said. My only gripe about a Godly woman who's not a virgin is that she's already experienced sexually, and what if she meets a Christian man who's a virgin? Will she be able to deal with his inexperience or is she going to try and pressure him into hitting it because she may be feeling the spirit one day? I don't know too many Christian women who aren't virgins that are willing to respect a man's virginity. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: You can't tell the difference between Christian women and secular women because many Christian women have worldly mindsets.

Shirley Strawberry

Much of my blog messages have come from Steve Harvey's Strawberry Letters. With this letter, Shirley Strawberry herself gives advice. Listen to the audio

Strawberry Letter

Steve Harvey Strawberry Letter: Pregnant Sister In Law

Pregnant Sister In Law

People are so messy until it's not funny anymore. This guy has the nerve to ask Steve if he should keep this secret (sexing her sister-in-law) when his wife is dying of cancer? This is why I can't fool with people because it seems like everywhere you turn, someone is doing something foul. This wife is dying of cancer, and for him to contemplate telling her while she's on her deathbed is low, even for him. He's man enough to lay down with her, he should be man enough to tell her what it is, but he probably won't tell her because that would be too much like right. He's using being distraught as an excuse to sleep with his wife's sister. Let me guess: She was fine and had curves for days, so he couldn't help himself. That's usually how it works, doesn't it? They console each other during a rough time, and clothes magically disappear. They aren't fooling anyone with this nonsense, they knew what they were doing.

Both the husband and sister-in law are as rotten as they come. What kind of man is he? What kind of woman is she? The wife is already dying of cancer; I wouldn’t add to her grief by telling her, but his wife isn't stupid; women have ways of finding out. Both of them ought to be ashamed of themselves. He says he loves his wife, but obviously he doesn't because if he did, he wouldn’t have messed around with her sister. The sister-in-law doesn’t love her sister because if she did, she would not have messed around with him. Love is action, and their actions showed otherwise. I just feel very bad for the wife, not only for what she's going through, but for the sorry jokers that are in her life. Best case scenario, she recovers from cancer and lights both of them up verbally and physically. Worst-case scenario, she dies of cancer, but at least she's at peace.

If You Think You're Lonely Now

Today's blog message is titled If You Think You're Lonely Now. My blog is going to be a spin on the Bobby Womack classic, later remade by K-Ci and JoJo. Saturday was Valentine's Day, the day were couples go all out to show love for each other. Call me crazy, but why would you wait one year for a  day to show your (wo)man how much you love them? You should be showing them love year round, and Valentine's Day is the culmination of the rest of the year. My heart goes out to all singles who spent V-Day alone. Some (wo)men felt some kind of way because they had no one to call their Valentine. In my opinion, Valentine's Day is overrated because you spend hundreds of dollars to show love for your spouse, only to fuss with them the next day. Where do they do that at?😂😭You and your spouse are lovey-dovey on Valentine's Day, and tomorrow y'all are at each other's throats. If that's what love is, I want no part of it.

I can't stand when (wo)men are so desperate for a Valentine that they'll go on a date and break up with someone the next day. I believe the term for that is "user". Someone spends money on you for V-Day, they think you could be the one, but you're using them because your butt doesn't want to be alone for V-Day, so you date them for a month leading up to V-Day, then break up with them. Richard doesn't respect that. Make it so bad, the (wo)men who pull this mess don't feel bad about it. In their mind, they felt special for one day & afterwards, they have no use for that person. This is where my discernment kicks in to avoid these types of women because she tried it. No woman will get my goodness without me. In other words, she takes me along with the benefits of being with me. I wonder how many (wo)men got together for a month leading up to Valentine's Day, only to break up the day after. This happens much more than I want to admit, but I'm glad it does because it shows me who people really are.

In conclusion, if you're a (wo)man that feels some kind of way about being alone for Valentine's Day, and you pull this mess of getting together only for one day to break up afterwards, you make me sick. Karma has a way of checking you.

Why Women Aren't Being Pursued

A woman is only worthy of pursuit, if the man sees her potential value to him.

— Florida Made (@RichardMIATL) February 14, 2015

So many women complain about interested suitors not pursuing them, which leads some women to believe that something's wrong with them. It's like this: A man will pursue a woman he sees value in. If a man doesn't recognize a woman's value, there's nothing wrong with her per se, it's just that she's not valuable to him. The simple solution for her is to remain single until the right man recognizes her value. No sense in crying over why this & that man isn't checking for you. People need to stop depending on others to see your worth; not everyone will see your worth and that's fine. Maybe it's not for some men to realize a woman's worth because many men are looking to come up at a woman's expense, and that's not a good look. It's happened many times over; a woman works with a man to help him come up, then once he's made it, he leaves her. She's stuck looking crazy because she invested all this time into a man, and another woman reaps the benefit of her work. She had good intentions, but the wrong man sensed her worth and took advantage of it. I'm all for pursuing a woman, but I have to recognize her value to me. How can we make each other better? By getting with a woman I can't see the value in, I'm doing her a disservice (hopefully she would feel the same about me), and I don't do people like that. If a man pursues a woman, it's because he sees the value she could bring to his life. When a man sees a woman's value, he will move heaven & earth to lock her down because he knows other cats are sitting in the cut ready to take his spot.