Head Of House: Do Finances Play/Should they play a part?

If a man's the head of house, he's the HEAD. That means he's the leader financially, spiritually, emotionally, etc. I will never comprehend how a man can call himself the head of the house and his woman makes more than him. Finances play a part in who's head of house, whether people like it or not. Money equals power. Whoever makes more, usually has more say-so in purchases and overall operations of the home. Finances are one of the top causes for divorce, and the minute a married couple has a fight, one of them (we know who) is quick to throw out how much more they make. Even if a woman does make more than her husband, she should respect his authority in the home. If he's a responsible decision maker, and considers the family before he makes the final decision, then in my book, he's still the head. No matter how good a woman is, some men will always be insecure about their lady making more than him. That shouldn't be, but it's true. If a (wo)man is quick to throw up in their mate's face how (s)he makes more, they were waiting for a reason, and the argument is the perfect time to go for the jugular.

Scenario: I make 100k a year, my wife makes 40k... i'm paying the bills and managing the household off of those funds.. She respects my decision making on the purchases and how I'm running the house. After 5 years, I lose my job because of budget cuts; she has been promoted and now makes 80k.... I'm getting unemployment. I'm still the same responsible decision maker I was 5 years ago, but now her job is bringing in the most money. Because I was making good decisions and had the respect of my family then, doesn't make me lose my credentials because she is making 80k, I will continue to make the same decisions, but my money won't be there because I lost my job. A loss of income doesn't make you lose your place in your household. As long as I have a history of responsible decision making, then I would be ok with my woman making more than me, while I still lead responsibly. I would do everything in my power, plus more, to get back on my feet. I couldn't be ok with my woman shouldering the financial load of the family. What if something happens to her to where she can't work?

The Steve Harvey Morning Show: Strawberry Letter - My Husband Loves His ...

Some of these men are smooth operators. Women giving out money, assisting in grocery shopping, etc. The game has changed. This couple has been married for 19 years and the wife is slighted because her husband's female friends are showing him a little too much love. His days are free because he works at night. This guy is smart...he said "I was raised by a single mother, and aunt so all I've been around was women." If I ever (which I won't) think to pull this on my woman, I'm going with this excuse. It worked for him, why wouldn't it work for me? His story seems to be common among most men: Grew up around women so he has a valid reason for being overly loving towards female friends. When a man takes a woman to be his wife, his woman is priority #1; everything else 2nd (with the proper exception of Jesus). He may not have given his wife a reason to mistrust him, but other women doing for him raises red flags.

Women know women, and men know men. Women know when another woman is trying to push up on her man. Very few women, if any, would tolerate another lady trying to take what's hers. Think about it: Another woman is doing things for a married man that the wife should be doing. These women are getting more bold by the hour. I smell competition between the wife & these other women. From a man's perspective, Steve brought up a good point: No man in his right mind would turn down things that another woman is paying for, let alone do for another woman without expecting a return on investment. Any married man would have a problem with his woman receiving money from another man, because that would make him (the married man) think he can't take care of his woman. A man prides himself on being able to care for his lady. If the script was flipped, he'd be calling for her to sever all ties with her guy friends.

He may or may not be cheating on his woman, I don't know. The wife has good reason to feel the way she does, and if I'm him...to avoid any drama, I would just keep contact professional between these women friends of his.

Strawberry Letter | He No Longer Wants to Come to Bed

You don't say? A woman shows her man how to treat her by how she sees herself. If she dogs herself, he's going to pick up on that. She said she's not the best looking, she picked up some weight, etc. From what I heard, she's an awesome wife and it's shameful her husband verbally abuses her. Maybe he's not happy with her, and doesn't know how to express that. After all, they haven't sexed in over a year. Think about it, she's affectionate and loving towards her husband and ANY man in his right mind would reciprocate. Worst case scenario: He's cheating. Any man that dogs his wife & withholds affection has to be cheating. This reminds me of Why Did I Get Married, when Sheila (Jill Scott) was grossly disrespected by her husband. He wouldn't touch her, but he was good at putting her down. Once she found herself, she left her ex-husband and married Troy (Lamman Rucker). Now, the ex was trying to get his woman back, but she wasn't having it. In short, she told her ex to get lost. I hope this woman can love herself enough to do one of two things: Demand her husband love & respect her, or leave. It's just a matter of time before verbal abuse turns into physical abuse. There are men that are dying to have a good woman to love on, and she lets this clown disrespect her. This letter is sad, but it's what many couples face in their relationships. People treat you how you allow. She's scared to stand up to her husband because she doesn't want him going upside her head, so she figures she deserves the verbal abuse. I guess he knows how to hurt his woman by withholding affection from her. After all, women love affection from their husbands.

It's None Of My Business

1. You look fresh to death, but your child(ren) looking rough; that's none of my business.

2. The disconnect between black men & women will forever be an issue. Just read some of the statements in Facebook relationship groups. That's none of my business.

3. Some women want men to tolerate their issues, but they won't work with a man on his shortcomings. That's none of my business.

4. There isn't THAT much going on in your city to where you have to be out all the time. Learn how to have several seats. That's none of my business.

5. I really think some of Steve Harvey's Strawberry Letters are for shock value. No one can be THAT screwed up. It's none of my business.

6. Some (wo)men sleep around, then have the nerve to come home to each other like nothing happened; that's none of my business.

7. A wife makes more than her husband, but the man has the nerve to call himself the head? That's none of my business.

8. Stubborn & combative people call themselves strong; that's none of my business.

9. Men who gossip about other men have woman tendencies, but that's none of my business.

10. Men who compromise manhood for women's approval are simps, but that's none of my business.

11. Fathers who weren't around for their child(ren) while they were young, then come around when their children are successful; they are the epitome of flaw. Again, that's none of my business.

No Children=Selfish?

Why do people still have ancient thoughts that you can't enjoy life without kids? You look around and see families everywhere: Husband & Wife, and children. Just because some people have children, doesn't mean everyone has to follow suit. Not everyone wants children, and that's ok. I see children with deadbeat parents, and I wonder why they even had children. If you're not going to properly care for your child(ren), put them up for adoption. There are parents waiting to adopt children into a loving & supportive environment. Let's be honest, having children is a major responsibility. You're talking about raising someone from birth to 18. Once that child becomes of age to where (s)he can do for self, they move out on their own. Even though a parent has raised children, adult children still need their parents for guidance. Here's a thought: Some people don't want kids, and they're within their right.

If you don't want children, you're assumed to be selfish because of societal pressure. Everybody seems to be getting married nowadays. Never mind that some people are on their 2nd or 3rd marriage, but I digress. If you're selfish, that's a good enough reason not to have children. Once children come into the picture, it's about them. Everything a parent does has to be done with their child(ren) in mind. Your child(ren) need new school clothes, but you have $5000 saved up for a cruise. If you're committed to your children, you'll sacrifice the cruise so your children can have new clothes for the upcoming school year. "Me" becomes "We" as soon as children come into the picture. That selfishness should fly out the window. In some religions, it's considered sinful to not procreate. For example: The Muslim religion states that it's a man's duty to find a wife to bare children with.

Some people may be genuinely selfish. Those people have no business having children because they're just going to put their children aside while they "turn up". If someone's not ready to be a parent, the children suffer. Why do you think there are so many deadbeat parents? Because they weren't ready to sacrifice "me" for "we {the child(ren)}".

A Good Man Leaves An Inheritance

What is a good man? Depending on who you ask, you'll get several different answers. Some will say a good man does right by his woman & family; Some will base it on financial posession. For every person in this world, you'll get different answers as to what a good man is. A good man is a man who leaves an inheritance for his family. Long after he's gone, his presence is still felt because he had such an impact that his lessons still live on through his child(ren). A good man leaves a financial inheritance for his children; he's been toiling for years just to make sure his family is straight, should something happen to him. He doesn't put his family in jeopardy of losing everything they've worked hard to attain because of taking out loans on vehicles that were already paid for. Tell me, if someone gives you $7000 to pay off your vehicle, why would you take out a loan on an already paid for vehicle? That's dumb.

From a financial standpoint, a good man leaves his family with such a financial inheritance that they will be taken care of long after he's gone from this world. I don't know about you, but if God sees fit for me to be married, then I'll definitely move heaven & earth to ensure that my family is taken care of. What do I look like leaving my family with my debt? They shouldn't suffer because of my financial irresponsibility so that's why I'm disciplined with how I spend my money. If I can't pay cash for it, I don't buy it. If I use a credit card, I pay the entire balance at once so I can get back to 0. I can't understand how a so-called "head of household" man could rack up so much debt that his family is going to be left with his bills, on top of what they already have.

A good man leaves a strong moral foundation. His family will carry on his legacy so it's important a man sets the right example of how to conduct himself in a corrupt, godless society. When he hurts someone, he's man enough to apologize. Children learn more from what a parent does, rather than what they say. If a man disrespects his wife in front of the children, what is he teaching his son? He's teaching his son that it's ok to mistreat women. If he has a daughter, he's teaching her that it's ok to be mistreated. When a family doesn't see their father reading the Bible, they're learning that he doesn't need God to help him guide his family; he can guide his family on his own.

God Will Never Give You Someone Else's Blessing: By Tyrese Gibson

Tyrese brought a word with this video:

God Will Never Give You Someone Else's Blessing