God Will Never Give You Someone Else's Blessing: By Tyrese Gibson

Tyrese brought a word with this video:

God Will Never Give You Someone Else's Blessing

Money Train

Tyler Perry & Steve Harvey are great friends. Collectively, they tell women what they want to hear and they gobble it up by showing support for Tyler Perry plays & films, Steve Harvey films, etc. The moral of the story is: Get women behind you, and the money train will grow. Because women support Steve Harvey and Tyler Perry, those two are among the most successful & wealthy black men. I'm proud of those brothers because they've come a long way, and they deserve their success. Let's be honest; if TP & Steve Harvey started telling it like it is, their fan base would cease to exist. Many men aren't too fond of Steve Harvey & Tyler Perry as is, so with women making up their fan base, I guess Steve & Tyler Perry have to continue catering to women. The sad part is, many of them don't realize they're being sold a dream.

Tell a woman what she wants to hear, and you win every time. Sounds good doesn't it? At the same time, some women will say she needs a real man, a strong man. For all this wisdom they impart (I will admit, they do have useful information), you'd think adjustments would've been made in gender relations dynamics, and yet there's more of the same relationship outcomes. What works against women is their unwillingness to listen, learn and adjust. Men know this and use their bullheaded nature against them to our advantage. There are some well-versed women that don't subscribe to Steve Harvey's 'Think Like A Man" mantra, but that's because their fathers and other men in their lives have already schooled them. From this blog, I've learned one thing: Tell a woman what she wants to hear, a man is revered. If you keep it real, she could hate you.

All In The Family

I have gotten myself involved in a love triangle, and I desperately need to get out of it. A few weeks back, my wife came to me and told me she had spoken to her mother and the mother said her father has ED (erectile dysfunction). My wife told me her mother wanted to stay with him, but she has natural needs that she needs fulfilled. Right about this same time, my mother-in-law started hitting on me. I was totally forthcoming with my wife about her mother’s inappropriate verbal comments, like “I bet you have a monster down there!” My wife excused it by saying her mother is just sexually frustrated. I rebuffed her mom’s advances, but they kind of peaked my interest. My wife said she spoke to her mom and her mother told her that she wanted to have sex with me. She told my wife that we could help “save the family.” My wife told me that she wanted me to consider helping her mother out, but I was completely thrown back. I made a vow to my wife and to God to be faithful to my wife! My wife felt that saving our family was more important and since her mom sacrificed a lot to raise her, so this was just a small thing to ask for in return. I did not feel this way. I am a church boy and my wife was my first. After a few weeks of being pressured by my wife and mother in law and with my wife’s blessing, I slept with my mother in law and OMG!!! As I said, my wife is the extent of my sexual experience and my wife’s sexual experiences were limited as well… But her mother has opened my eyes to a whole new world of sexual exploits and I love it! I feel so guilty because I want to have sex with my mother-in-law more than my wife, and it doesn’t help that she is an absolutely stunning woman, I mean she is bad! She and my wife look more like sisters than mother and daughter. She’s a mix between Angela Bassett and Halle Berry! I told my wife that I needed to end the arrangement with her mother because I did not feel comfortable anymore. My wife told me if I wanted her to learn new tricks, she would join her mother and I the next time, to “get some pointers.” Needless to say, her mother is teaching US well. My wife is now a beast in the sheets and she tells me her mother’s relationship with her father has improved greatly. I feel so guilty because I have a great relationship with my father-in-law, who is also the pastor at my church. I need to get out of this situation, but I do not want to destroy the family or my church.

Congratulations to this couple for bringing shame to their family. It's one thing for a man to sleep with his attractive mother-in-law, but when his wife co-signed, that's just foul. This is why I say that most couples don't respect marriage, because of mess like this. I wish I would even think of sleeping with my mother-in-law; it's not worth the embarrassment I'd feel if this got out. Truthfully, he's wanted to sleep with his mother-in-law from Day 1, and he needed confirmation from his wife. This strawberry letter reminds me of a Fresh Prince episode where Phillip's former college girlfriend Janice Robertson (Pam Grier) comes to visit Phillip, and old feelings resurface. By this time, Phillip is already married with a family of his own. Will is seeing her daughter and Janice becomes attracted to Will. Allegedly, Will and Janice sleep together and once word gets out, it causes a big mess. This guy sacrificed his character for mother-in-law good good.
Obviously the husband DOESN'T feel guilty because he's going back for seconds, thirds, etc. He did say his mother-in-law is a cross between Angela Bassett & Halle Berry. Regardless of how fine his mother-in-law is, that's no excuse for violating his marriage, even with his wife's "blessing". According to the Bible, blessings bring no sorrow with them. I can see why sex is supposedly viewed as an important part of marriage, because if you're not getting it from your spouse, you will look for it elsewhere. I can imagine how the father-in-law is going to feel once this love triangle gets out. Remember the 70's show All In The Family? They're definitely keeping it All In The Family with this love triangle. As the head, he's supposed to set the example. The husband should have put his foot down and said NO. Vows to God carry far more weight than "saving your family." I would feel some kind of way if my wife gave me her "blessing" to sleep with her attractive mother-in-law.
A SMALL thing? Asking your husband to sleep with your mother in law to save your marriage doesn't qualify as a "small" request. As the Bible states, what's done in the dark will come to the light. This is the kind of mess that destroyed Sodom & Gomorrah, gross perversion.

Ball Til You Fall

While I was on Facebook yesterday, I read an article about a woman who won $10 million & was broke within 5 years. Chances are, she did the following: Went on a shopping spree, took expensive vacations, hooked up so-called "family & friends", and the list goes on. To be honest, $10 million isn't a lot of money considering what's left after taxes. If you win $10 million dollars, you're left over with $5-$6 million after taxes. From there, so-called "family & friends" come out of the woodwork and you decide to break them off a little something, then you go on vacations and buy luxury clothes & cars. You're lucky to have $2 million left over, if that. If you're fiscally conservative like myself, I'm thinking of how to grow that $10 million. I may want to leave that money to my family should something happen to me, but I digress. Khrystle Nichole (a Facebook friend) posted a real quote (I'm paraphrasing): "If you want someone's true colors, give them liquor and a large sum of money". Then, wait for it...wait for it.

She's right. Alcohol & a large sum of money is truth serum. If you want to find out a lot about a person, give them a large monetary amount and alcohol and watch the truth flow like rivers of living water. I have a theory as to why some people ball til they fall: They're not used to having anything, so when they get a little change, it flows out just as fast as they got it. Going out and buying homes, luxury clothing and vehicles, etc; that's all crazy to me. From time to time, I comment on threads asking "What would you do if you won millions of dollars?" I always respond with: Tithe 20% to my church (10% off the top, the other 10% as an offering.), invest a portion, and set up a trust fund for my nieces. I don't need to take lavish vacations or buy luxury cars because those things don't define me. I will say this much: If God sees fit to bless me with multi-millions of dollars, I will bless those who God lays on my heart to bless. Those who I knew since day 1, they'll get a little something, but other than that, I wouldn't do anything different than what I do now.

This whole "Ball Til You Fall" mentality that people have when they win the lottery is exactly why many people end up broke within 5 years, and some sooner than that. They're not used to having money, they attract the wrong crowd, and they're overcompensating in some way because a lot of people who came into millions of dollars, have come from nothing. They're not trying to go back to poverty, so in some way I understand why they ball til they fall. They want to have fun, even if it's for a little time.

Punchanella: By Nojma Reflects

This one is for all the Punchanella women. You want to do everything a man can do? You believe you can do everything a man can do? Ok. Protect yourself. Secure yourself. Don't look for a man to assist you at all. Don't worry about chivalry and a man opening doors. You got it Babygirl...open your own door.

You're struggling with boxes or groceries? Figure it out on your own. Pay your own bills. You on a date? Pay for your own meal. Better yet..pay for HIS. Don't look for your neighbor to come take a look at a leak coming from your car. You got this! Tire blown out on the high way? Tell that Black Man that asks you if you need any help....no sir I have it handled. 

This foolishness comes from women. Talking about we are equal. Can a man give birth? That's an example of inequality right there. How many men do you hear say man I wish I could give birth. I want to know what a contraction feels like. The hypocrisy of it all is that if we heard a Brother say I want to be like a woman...we'd call him a punk. 

That's why I posted about femininity. Too many of us are trying to dabble in masculinity. Our voices are sounding all gruff and heavy. We have become very aggressive. We will actually try to run up on you and go toe to toe with you like we're men. We don't understand how to be soft and delicate. We want to be so hardcore. That's automatic man repellent! 

We are so busy trying to be men that we are missing out on the essence of our womanhood. We want to race and beat you to the finish line. Hell, our enemy already gave us a head start. Instead of holding hands and running together we'd rather mock you and cross that line by ourselves. Talking about we won. Lies! We are LOSING! Us and our faux victories. Majority of our households ran by Single Mothers. ..does that sound like a bunch of winners to you? Our Boys left behind and are failing academically. ..does that sound like winning to you?

Wait. What am I thinking? Yall ain't playing for the home team. You're on the starting line up for our enemy...vying for the coveted title of MVP...Most Valuable PAWN.

Mother-In-Law Vs. Wife

Strawberry Letter: I would like some knowledge on how to handle this matter. The problem I am having is that is that my wife and my mother do NOT get along at this current time! I am African American and my wife is Caucasian. We also have two bi-racial children. There has been tension between my mother and wife since I returned back from overseas. When we were just dating, my mom would always call and check up on my wife, but after we got married it seemed that the relationship between the two started to spiral out of control. There has been two occasions. On the first occasion, I had a Re-integration meeting with my unit arriving from deployment and for some reason, my mother was in an ill mood over my wife choosing to sit in a different part of the room. My wife soon started to notice that there was a bad vibe at that time. Shortly thereafter, we headed back to our home along with my mother and sister. At a particular point they started to argue and name call so much it made me sick to my stomach and upset. For a while, they would not talk and my children could not see my side of the family because my wife refused to be around them at the time. After that storm blew over, they slowly started to make amends be respectful of one another. On the second occasion, we went to visit my mother on Easter Sunday and everything was going fine until my nephew got a scratch under his eye. My mother automatically blamed my wife of doing something to him, when it was clearly my daughter who had a toy she was waving around and accidentally hit my nephew in the face, in which I witnessed. My mom started to curse, yell and shout at my wife and at that time I told my wife that we were leaving, so we left. Later on, my wife told me that she did not want to be, nor the kids around my mom. This hurts me terribly because I love my mother. She raised all four of my siblings and myself on her own as a single parent and I respect her for that. But, I feel that my kids will suffer from most of this nonsense. They hardly ever get to see my side of the family as it is and they love it anytime they are around their cousins from my side of the family. I don’t know what to do sometimes and would like your opinion. Should I go against my wife’s wishes and take them to see my mother and family when she goes to work or should I just let it go and keep the distance and contribute to my kids not getting to see and know their family? I’m torn between the two, what should I do? 

My Response: It's sad when your mother and wife can't get along, and the kids are suffering through most of this garbage. The mother-in-law and wife are under no obligation to get along, but they can be civil for the children's sake. They think the children aren't paying attention, but they are. Kids are very perceptive; they know when something's not right. As the head of household, he needs to squash this since the mother and wife won't. It's always tough to see your mother and wife battling, but that's life. Situations like this will make someone choose between their wife and mother. A mother is a man's first example of a woman, so it's understandable if he sides with mom. Once a man takes a woman to be his wife, the wife becomes first priority. There's a reason why the mother doesn't like her son's wife, and it could be because of her race. Even though great strides have been made in race relations, we still have a ways to go before we reach equality. He doesn't have to have his wife's approval to take the children around his family, just do it. The kids deserve to see their father's side of the family; after all, the children do enjoy seeing their cousins from dad's side, so even if mom and wife can't co-exist, the kids don't have to suffer because the adults want to act stupid. He needs to tell his mother that although he loves and respects her, his first priority is to his wife. If she can't be civil to his wife, then she runs the risk of not seeing her grandchildren. Period. Sometimes, a man must put his foot down for his wife even if that means his relationship could be damaged with his mother or immediate family member.

You Picked Him!

Yesterday was Father's Day, a day set aside to honor fathers who have shaped their children's lives in remarkable ways. There has been an attack on fatherhood for quite some time. Bitter single mothers have gone so far as to demand recognition on Father's Day. You'll have some single mothers that acknowledge themselves on Father's Day, saying "I'm the mother and father to my child(ren) so I deserve recognition on Father's Day too." Unless she's a hermaphrodite, a mother can never play a father's role. Try as she may, but we all know the result of a single mother trying to raise a man. Children learn the most from what they're around on a daily basis. If a boy is raised around women, he's going to pick up feminine traits. Why do you think some of these young men are so fruity? Because they've been exposed to women all their lives. It's not the boy's fault. If the child's biological father refuses to be in his child(ren)'s life, the mother has no choice but to do what she needs to do. Still, there are father figures that a boy can learn manhood from.

Not all single mothers are single moms by choice. Sometimes, single mothers become as such through no fault of their own. If a father refuses to be involved in his child(ren)'s lives, that's his perogative. Just know that children are very smart. They know who's had their back from day 1. A mother has to do whatever's necessary to provide the best possible life for her child(ren), with or without him. What I can't stand is bitter single mothers who want recognition on Father's Day. I understand those single moms are upset at their child(ren)'s father, but she picked him! She should've known he was no good before she opened for business. So many women have babies by deadbeat men, and expect these men to take responsibility for that child. At some point, some women have to use better judgment in selecting a man to lay down with. If she can't see herself long term with him, why would she have his baby? A single mother cannot complain about her child(ren)'s father being a deadbeat. Why? BECAUSE SHE PICKED HIM.