How Hard Is That?

A high-end department store Barney's is requiring proof of income for black shoppers. This stemmed from an incident where a youth in New York spent $350 for a belt. It's ridiculous enough that the young person spend $350 for a belt. That's a monthly car payment, mortgage, 2 months worth of groceries for some people. This youth raises sand about being profiled. I don't know why people are catching feelings over this protest, to me it's not that serious. If you don't like an establishment's protocol, don't shop there. I don't like what a lot of businesses stand for, so do you think I'm going to support? No. Why support what you dislike? Sounds silly. Yes, requiring proof of income to shop at a store is stupid; who does that? Considering the person was probably a black, inner-city youth, I could see what skepticism would be raised. Many inner-city communities don't have jobs, and if they do, they are low-wage positions. So how can an inner-city youth afford a $350 belt outside of hustling? The beauty of life is variety. There's a variety of business to suit each person's taste. What you may not like, someone else does. My mother doesn't like Burger King, but I do (I seldom eat BK). She has her likes & dislikes, and I have mine. You won't worry about me shopping at Barney's because I have no desire to shop at high-end fashion stores. I'm fiscally conservative so I can't see myself throwing away money to buy expensive clothing, to impress people I probably don't like. People need to find better stuff to complain about, because this isn't one of them.

How Do You Know?

How do you know how to treat someone if you've never had a committed relationship? That question comes up whenever a single person with no relationship history decides to court someone. The answer to that question: Observe how they treat their loved ones; friends & family. If they treat their loved ones in high regard, they will almost always treat you (man or woman) the same way. You have a select few who mistreat their mates, but are ready to battle if someone does their sister or aunt wrong. See the irony? That person you're mistreating is someone's aunt, sister, daughter, uncle, etc. I had a great conversation with a good friend and she asked me that question, and I responded with "By treating my woman the same way I treat the most important people in my life, with love & respect." For me, I go hard for those I love and they usually reciprocate, because if there's no reciprocation in the love department, I'm gone. No sense in staying in a lopsided relationship. Think about it, I'm giving my all to a woman, and she can't do the same for me? Where they do that at? Not over here. I understand what people mean by when they say "How a man treats his mother is how he will treat his woman" 9 times out of 10, it's true. If he mistreats his mother, he will mistreat his lady. Flipping the script, if he respects his mother, he will respect her because his mom wouldn't go for that. Mothers know a good woman when they see one, and a good mother will motivate her son to put his woman first. You see, just because someone has never had a committed relationship doesn't mean they wouldn't know what to do if the right person came along. Pay attention to how they treat their loved ones, for that usually speaks volumes as to how they will treat you.

Go Pastor!

One of the gripes many men have with women who attend church is church women don't know how to think for themselves. They're quick to utter what the pastor said instead of thinking for themselves. Here's an example: Yesterday's broadcast by Tony Evans (an evangelist) was admonishing men. He says: Today's men are feminized. They react to situations just like a woman, and that should not be. Mention men's issues, you get Amens & Hallelujah's; mention women's issues, you get deflection & combativeness. I've noticed a trend: When pastors admonish men for lack of responsibility, women shout him down; that pastor gets on the ladies, crickets chirping. Some women are all for pastors getting on wayward men, but when the script is flipped, there's a problem. Maybe that's why men want nothing to do with church, because men are hip to games. They know that pastors tailor their messages to gain women's approval. Because women make up the majority of the church's congregation, it makes sense to speak in favor of the majority. The issue is over time, you feel convicted for telling people what they want to hear, instead of what they need to hear. The minute a pastor REALLY starts telling the truth, that's when church membership declines. If pastors started getting on wayward women like they do the men, watch church membership drop by over half. That's not going to happen because some pastors are shook by women. Women will listen to preachers talk about what men aren't doing, but they won't listen to a woman televangelist who admonishes them. Ironic.

Take It Up With God

If someone has a problem with your blessing, take it up with the Lord. The Lord blesses everyone as he sees fit, so your blessing may not be the same as another's. That's my issue with people; they want to hate on another's blessing. Why be jealous of someone's blessing? Maybe if you would be faithful & obedient, you can be blessed. There's ample blessings for everyone. I find it hilarious that the moment someone gets their blessing, side comments erupt "(S)he thinks (s)he's all that, who does (s)he think (s)he is, etc." The side comments make the recipient feel as though they should be ashamed of their breakthrough; like they don't deserve God's blessings. I'm here to tell you: Don't be ashamed of your blessing if you've worked hard to get it. That's what you're supposed to do, work hard for yours. If others don't like it, that's their problem and not yours. I don't know about you, but God's got blessings coming my way because of my faithfulness & obedience, and I'm not dummying down my breakthrough for nobody. Knowing what I've sacrificed for my breakthrough, makes it that special. I'm not going to act too good for anybody, but I shouldn't be made to feel bad for being blessed. Being blessed doesn't have to include material posessions (although they are a by-product). Being blessed means your child(ren) is spared from all generational curses, your children's children are going to live off the foundation of blessing you've set for them, etc. Your own friends & family can be most envious of your blessing, because THEY didn't get it. One thing I've learned is that not everyone will celebrate your blessing, or they will celebrate your blessing while hating on the low. That's why it's important to keep your blessing to yourself. You don't have to tell everyone how or why you got blessed. If you do tell, only let the RIGHT people know about your breakthrough, and keep it moving. Remember, not everyone is happy in your prosperity.

What's Wrong With Submission: By Kip Brooks

I'm in a Facebook relationship group called Rebirth, and a member Kip Brooks posted the following question: Why do some women look at submission in such a negative light? What's wrong with submitting? Check out the responses.

 

Richard Hudson Some women submit to the wrong men, and when a stand-up guy comes along that is leading in a beneficial manner, she doesn't know what to do. Also, many women equate submission with being a doormat. When a woman submits to her man, she's far more likely to get what she wants from him.

　

April McLemore I think when submission is heard there are a number of things that can come to mind and not many are pleasant. It takes a STRONG person to submit and not all men want a submissive partner. I prefer to collaborate lol--let's share in the discussion on what's best for us/our family and allow me to feel heard and that my opinion is valued.... THEN we can make the best decision

　

Kip Brooks April McLemore So is your collaboration the same as or similar to submission

　

T Lavon Lawrence Two problems. A) Submission is not practically defined. B ) The one demanding submission hasn't justified himself as worthy. When you tell someone that their life and their destiny should be second to yourself you had better damned well be capable and able to do something profound with the gift that's given to you.

April McLemore Kip Brooks how do you define submission...Put it in your words for me

 

Twanna Gill I don't think many women have as many issues with the act of submission as they do with the word itself. The word can make some feel as their mate will look at them as "less than," that what they bring to the table isn't of importance. And that's where the problems begin...

Along with residual baggage from past relationships. To submit in many ways is the ultimate show off trust. Takes time to build that.

And it's my belief that women submit to husbands & not boyfriends... can't allow someone to lead your life if he hasn't thought enough of you to make you his family

 

T Lavon Lawrence When you survey most dudes, that's not the definition of submission. An honest survey of most cats will find submission to be a woman utterly sacrificing her own being and will for the sake of a fellow who simply wants his selfish, sexual desires satisfied in whatever way or whim he's feeling at the moment; secondly, to live HIS life the way HE wants it irregardless of how it affects her or her future - an entirely selfish - not SELFLESS- way of being. I would no sooner recommend any woman submit to the typical modern man than for her to throw herself off a cliff and hope for a comfortable landing.

　

Lovely Day The right man makes all the difference!!!

 

Kim Ward One thing that I have seen in successful relationships is there is not this strict adherence to gender roles. My ex loved doing laundry. Who was I to argue? I have a few male friends that do most of the cooking in their relationships. It was not a matter of their wives not knowing how to cook. They were either better at it or simply enjoyed cooking. I think we have to be careful with labeling things as hard or easy. Those definitions are going to vary relationship to relationship and person to person.

 

April McLemore My man is a good at being a provider....meaning he provides a solid income--but so do I. We've been dating for several years but don't live together. I've purchased 2 homes while in this relationship. I bought my "dream home" last year because it's what I wanted. My man is from the Bronx and I don't think he has ever cut grass a day in his life! I have Mario and he maintains my yard and landscaping. I can fit a toilet faster than he every could--he often asks for my help with household things because he knows I either know how or am willing to try. We both HIRED painters to paint our homes lol... I'll always pay the household bills because I have a system...When we combine households we will be EQUAL partners and will pay bills based off of our income (percent wise) as Suze Orman recommends because it's FAIR. I'm far too independent to be a dependent to him and he doesn't want or respect that. He wants a woman that has her own and compliments him. He tells me often that he loves that about me...I'm a hustler and go get what I want.

 

T Lavon Lawrence Kip Brooks - A strong man (not fake strength, but real internal strength of mind and spirit, because that is the ONLY true strength a man can have) doesn't have to worry about any woman on earth being able to emasculate him, no matter how big a motor mouth a woman might have. Women who act that way appear weak (and they sense their weakness) in the presence of such a man, just as a weak man's lack of strength feels magnified inside himself when he's keeping the company of a woman who has a stronger Will than he. I've never known a man who possessed genuine strength who had to demand that a woman submit to him. I've never met a man who had to demand that women submit to him who had genuine strength. Too many cats want to be acknowledged as leaders without being leaders. If he has his act together and if his way of being, of doing, and of walking through this life is of a higher nature - if his Will is right - most women sense that kind of thing and will either avoid a relationship with him because they don't want the responsibility of trying to keep up or they'll prefer that kind of man because he's thorough in that regard. Now, a motormouth, stubborn woman will never, ever get along with that kind of a man because his light will always expose her weakness, so she will seek out a guy with a weaker will the relationship to whom allows her to continue being a miserable person with an illusion of control. While a man of weak will who wants to be given a free pass of dominance will never get along with a woman who has a will of her own because she'll always see right through his bullshit.

 

Kip Brooks Again great take T T Lavon Lawrence. I've never looked at relationships from that prospective. I've never seen a positive in being domineering, or unaccountable to my family. However I do know several strong intelligent women and have witnessed men whither in their presence lol! It's like watching a crime being committed. It's happened before you can lift a finger to stop it. Some of these women I've seen unintentionally run men off with their strength. Some rebel against true submission because they view it as a weakness. They are so concerned with not appearing weak to the point that they can loose some of their femininity. So where I do see and agree with your point, I've also seen women needlessly ruin good things.

　

Shemika Brown Just playing devils advocate here and i think that these women who try to emasculate men are sometimes stuck in their mode of having to do everything for themselves, be nurturing but masculine in rearing the kids either don't know how to switch it off or may be testing these men... I mean after all if I am keeping my ship afloat for 10 years and someone comes along that I am submit to I have to be certain that he will always have me and my kids interest at heart...even before his own.

　

T Lavon Lawrence Precisely, Shemika Brown - and sensitive dudes who may not ACTUALLY have what it takes get offended when you tell them that before you turn over the reins they need to show and prove themselves to be excellent drivers.

　

Jenita Brown Carter Being independent has NOTHING to do with submission. ITS THE MAN that you allow/ wish to submit to. I love to submit....I love going back to my roots and the way I was raised...I love feeling of that connection and having that MAN around that warrants my submission. The key is THE MAN. IS he your king....IS he your leader...can you and should you submit....IS he leading your family down the right path.....are you safe in keeping everything you have unto him?!?! This is the REAL question cause a lot of YOU think you are ready to lead a family but YOU haven't released those "childish ways" yet. YOU aren't ready to be FOLLOWED! If your GTA5 means more to you than quality time with your spouse....THEN YOU AREN'T READY!!! Are YOU ready to be submitted to is the REAL QUESTION!!! IJS

　

Shemika Brown and I second it Jenita Brown Carter, that single mother goes without a lot of hairdo's and nail appointments, and she want's to make sure when the new foams come out, you're gonna pay the light bill

　

Jenita Brown Carter Tell that Shemika!!! Girl I have had TOO many niggas wanting submission but wanna also talk about the new J's when their car needs a new transmission. SMGDH!!! Get your priorities together and THEN I MIGHT CONSIDER SUBMISSION

Lovely Day Some men have that way about them that make you feel like you would do anything they ask and run to do it.

Shemika Brown ^^^^^^^^^EXACTLY!!^^^^^^^^

　

Elusive Sapphire Submission is not something that everyone is entitled to.

The ones that complain the most about it being absent are normally the ones that don't deserve it.
Once you are trusted as head of household, things are no longer about what YOU want or what is YOUR destiny.
You and your spouse are a unit. You are to love her as you love yourself. Her concerns are your concerns. Her dreams in your dreams. Her safety and well being is the your priorities. Her happiness is your happiness.
You no longer live your life to please yourself. You have a family to consider at every decision making opportunity. When you have a choice to make is not about you. It's about what's going to be best for everyone involved in that decision.
Submission will come naturally because she know did you have to answer to every aspect and you're not only looking for what's best for you but what' s also best for her and her family.
It's not about sandwiches and agreeing to every brass decision that's made.

　

Jenita Brown Carter I will run this house until someone shows me that they can do it RIGHT!!! Until then..................BOY BYE!!! I need a MAN!!!! #Albert LOL!

　

Lovely Day And you definitely don't get it just because of gender!

　

Kip Brooks I'm starting to understand. It would appear to me that submission is looked at so negatively because the choice of mate may be a poor one! Most family men I now don't get excited about the release of a new Jordan shoe. Most men I know get excited about transmissions and cylinders, Ferragamo's or Stacey Adams. I'm noticing a trend where women give several reasons not to submit but they pick men to fit the narrative, or the cost benefit coefficient is out of whack. It's one thing to call a man weak. It's another to just plain be an ungrateful handful that runs even the best of men away.

　

T Lavon Lawrence Kip Brooks - there's a whole lotta that running on around here where I live. Women callin' out guys but when the right guy shows up they can't shut down their own drama long enough to let that guy be what he can be for her, and off he goes down the road shaking his head wondering why he ever wasted his time trying so hard to walk the right path while other dudes couldn't give a damn and just go the Mack and Playa route. Good Dudes around here are perplexed with that confusion they get from the opposite sex.

My View: The consensus of this post is that a woman shouldn't submit to a man if he hasn't proven himself worthy. Many women have held it down solo for so long that they aren't ready to give up the reigns to a man unless they know he has his stuff together.



I Don't Need The Church

You want to hear some funny mess? More Christians are leaving the church, and deciding to be more "independent" in their walk with God. The first thought that comes to my mind is some Christians don't want accountability. It's easier to leave the church so you won't have to be accountable to other believers. Each believer is responsible for their own walk with God, but the Bible forbids forsaking assembly with his children. Corporate prayer is powerful just like individual prayer because all believers are on one accord. When two or three gather together in My (God's) name, there I am in the midst. Relationships in the body of Christ are about community. God loves to see his children fellowshiping together; that's how he designed it. An individual can worship God on his own, and that it's not necessary to meet with other believers to worship. However, regularly getting together with other Christians for the purpose of worship is the Biblical norm. There are a number of Scriptures that directly state or imply that believers are to gather together. The word “church” occurs over 100 times in the New Testament. It was the head of the church himself, Jesus Christ, who first applied the word to a Christian society. “I will build my church” (Matthew 16:18). The 'body of Christ', has implied in its meaning, a whole made up of many parts. The teaching concerning spiritual gifts in 1 Corinthians 12 concerns the Holy Spirit apportioning gifts to individual members of the ‘body of Christ’ to be used in service for the whole body. Clearly, it is Paul’s teaching that the church functioned as a body made up of individual believers. And it is implicate in this teaching that the individual believer benefits greatly from the ministry of other members of the body – in fact, one would conclude that depriving oneself of this mutual ministry would be to cut oneself off from God’s intended purposes derived from being a part of a local assembly of believers. Some Christians need to stop faking the funk. Just come out and say it: I don't need the church because I don't want accountability. I don't want people all in my business, so I would rather take my relationship with Christ into my own hands. When you get in a bind, DON'T come to the church asking for help because remember, YOU don't need the church.

Pre-Nuptial Agreements

In a perfect world, there would be no need for pre-nups. Men & Women would be together forever. Because we live in a fallen world, you have to prepare for the worst. Divorce is almost guaranteed for any married couple. Why do I say guaranteed? Because you can get married with the best intentions, and life happens. Infidelity, abuse, financial issues are all top reasons for marriages to end in divorce. Pre-nups serve to protect a couple. In layman's terms, you leave with what you came. Should I get married, best believe I'm getting a pre-nup. I'm no fool; I have to look out for myself because there's no guarantee my woman will have my best interest (she should do the same). Some people get upset when their spouse wants a prenuptial agreement. Let me get this straight: Someone doesn't want their spouse to get half of what they've worked for prior to marriage, and because they want to protect themselves, you're upset. Their reaction should show you made the right decision. Regardless of whether my spouse gets upset or not, a prenuptial agreement is in order. Such agreement protects both men & women in the event of divorce. Yes, you should have faith in your marriage to weather the storms, but that's not the case. Marriages today aren't like they were back in the day. The older generation understood marriage a lot better than today's generation. Back in our parents & grandparents day, if something was broke, it was fixed. Today's couples have no perseverance. People want the sunshine without the rain. The first sign of trouble, I want a divorce. I'm thinking to myself "Why get married if you're going to duck out at the first sign of trouble? You're wasting your time as well as your spouse's" Back in the day, pre-nups were unheard of because women didn't have the options they have now. Back in the 50's and 60's, couples were determined to make it work. When I read about couples being married 60+ years, I'm amazed because in today's world, you're lucky to be married 10 years. A Facebook friend posted about pre-nups on her page and I commented with "Marriage should be approached like war. In war, there are casualties." Divorce, abuse, infidelity are casualties that can lead to the destruction of a marriage.